Magic Underwear. Soooo, I don't know.....do they really exist?

[BlancheSplanchnik]

[alfredo]

1. They do exist, but one has to remove their head to wear them.

[bluesbassman]

9. How do they end up having so many kids?

Those are about the ugliest undergarments I've ever seen.

[alfredo]

23. I think it is the only time alcohol is allowed. I think it is required.

[madokie]

96. Even the dog didn't want anything to do with it

Good thing I didn't have anything in my mouth when I seen this picture cause I would have spit it everywhere and would be in the market for a new keyboard now

[hlthe2b]

48. Victoria's Secret's got nothing on them...

[alfredo]

53. I guess they have a use in the cold.

[Control-Z]

66. Have you ever noticed the way Romney

always seems to be doing the pee pee dance when he's on stage trying to make friends; talking about the size of trees, eating grits, saying y'all? Now and forever, whenever I see Romney, especially when he's doing his pee pee dance, I will see him in these undies with the giant magic panel on the front and be making all kinds of assumptions.

Though, I'm not sure yet whether I'll laugh or get sick, you, alfredo, are to blame!!

[alfredo]

70. Glad I could be of service.

[Control-Z]

72. And you have been,

I think.

(I do hope you are taking my replies to you in the lighthearted way I've intended.)

[alfredo]

78. I took it as intended.

[madokie]

97. He's not stiff if you don't believe it just unzip him says wife Ann

My sides hurt from all the laughs I've gotten from that line of hers.
What a weird couple!

[sarcasmo]

2. I hope they are cleaner than the undies in the photo.

[jmowreader]

36. Those actually ARE clean

Mormon union suits have traditionally been made in a light gray color.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

3. Do they have magic lingerie, for those romantic times when Ann unzips her Mittens?

[flamingdem]

24. magic lingerie

lol!

[liberalmuse]

27. That was a senseless and cruel image to put in our heads.

[vaberella]

51. I thought that was when they wore it. During the first weeks of marriage or something. n/t

[obamanut2012]

55. They start wearing it on their wedding day

They never stop wearing it.

[LiberalEsto]

68. Are they allowed to take it off and wash it?

Or is that a no-no?

I mean, the undies could get pretty ripe after a few years.

[vaberella]

90. Is it mean if I say I want to put out an online dare for someone to pull Romney's pants down?! n/t

[Swede Atlanta]

4. OK, from what I know....

the Mormon magic underwear are worn by a man and a woman (don't know if the polygamist branch of the LDS church do this) that are "sealed" in a temple.

If you are a mormon and only married in a stake, not steak, house, your marriage vows last until death do you part. But if you are hitched in the temple you are hitched "forever", in essence sealed to one another. I don't know if the church excommunicates "sealed" members if they seek a divorce.

Sealed members wear these undergarments, supposedly keeping an arm or foot in them even while bathing, as a symbol of the covenant of their marriage. I don't know why a wedding ring isn't enough but apparently not for these folks.

[LadyHawkAZ]

10. They don't get excommunicated

but the woman will have to be unsealed in order to remarry and move to a new planet.

[Voice for Peace]

44. LOL!!

this thread is giving me a stomachache from laughter

[BlancheSplanchnik]

11. very informative! Yeesh

that's a world view I...I just.....well, let's just say.....I'm just glad I never fell for it

[dflprincess]

13. I think you can also qualify for the underwear by completing a "mission"

A friend on mine had a friend who was not married but she did wear the "garment" because she had been on a mission.

[FreeState]

15. Lol - no you get them when you go through the Temple

Lol - no you get them when you go through the Temple for the first time. For males that's when they go on a mission (19) or female missionaries (21) or when one gets married or just decides to go to the temple (unusual but it does happen - usually its mission or a marriage).

[boppers]

18. Point of fact: No, you can also go through the temple without them.

When you get baptised for the dead, you do not need them, for example.

[FreeState]

22. That's not considered going through the temple

Going through the temple in LDS terminology means taking out ones endowments (Which is the washing and anointing ceremony were one gets the garments followed by the endowment ceremony).

See terminology used here http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=da6e7befabc20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=d6371b08f338c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD (note its not about baptisms for the dead - something that is typically done by 12-18 year olds).

[boppers]

30. I figured we'd get hung up on terminology.

My answer was pretty much to respond to the myth that "you must be willing to wear, or wearing, garments to be in the temple".

in/though, blah blah blah.

[FreeState]

32. I sometimes forget non-LDS people don't catch the terms

There important but hard to get unless you have been immersed in it for a while.

(While I'm no longer a believer, or a member, I'll probably always identify as LDS on some level do to the cultural/family haratige).

[boppers]

40. I got as far as Aaronic. Didn't make it to Moronic. :P

(This is a Mormon joke, there are two basic levels, and the higher level is *not* Moronic, it's a joke, son).

I, too, will always have it as part of me, perhaps you made it further than I before checking out.

I still welcome the brothers and sisters when they show up at my porch, with no hated, no malice. My younger brother is now a leader of his Elder's quorum. It's kind of in my family for life.

Maybe I'll go back once I stop smoking, drinking, and the church stops hating my gay friends and family, and stops being so hypocritical about abortion.

[obamanut2012]

56. A friend of mine is 40, ex LDS

His bishop told him and his wife that "True Believers" still did this. It is technically a discontinued practice, but it certainly isn't a myth, and it appears that some hardcore"LDS still practice this.

My friend's family are multi-generational LDS, and I trust his word and Freestate'son this.

[unkachuck]

14. '...hitched "forever", in essence sealed to one another.'

....that's a scary proposition....I love a good wife as much as the next man but forever is a very long time....and not to be un-Mormon, but I've found way more magic in her underwear than with her underwear....

....since slick willard (the rich wall-street Mormon) appears to be an expert on everything, someone needs to ask slick willard for the definitive explanation on magic underwear....and if don't use bleach, could the result be black magic underwear?

[boppers]

19. The "arm or foot" is total poppycock.

It's a myth.

[FreeState]

21. Nope - it's a discontinued practice, not a myth n/t

[boppers]

28. Like jews who kill animals as sacrifice.

Or Catholics who whip themselves.

So, hey, let's repeat it?

[FreeState]

34. Yes, but it was practiced until very recently

I fact many of my family history journals talk about it as far back as the 1940s.

[boppers]

35. So, dead people.

There was also near universal southern hatred of blacks then, too.

Might as well judge Obama on his dad's tribe's marriage practices.

[FreeState]

38. What are you talking about?

I'm or judging anyone - I was pointing out that your statement that it was a myth was false. I was raised LDS, served a mission, been through the temple etc. my family history goes all the way back to Martin Harris - this is part of my families history and I am not ashamed of it nor think its anything weird. I wa correcting an error, not making fun or light of anyone or anything.

[boppers]

41. Oh, it's (polygamy) a RW attack line.

Obama and Rmoney's great and great-grand parents were polygamists.

As far as folks obsessed with keeping their garments "touching" them, that's not doctrine, it's tradition.

I assume you know the difference, from up thread, you "get" LDS verbiage.

[blueamy66]

58. Is it true that when a couple is sealed, the woman is given another name

so that when she dies, her husband can call her into his "heaven" by this secret name?

[FreeState]

64. Everyone who goes through gets a new name

Male or female. If its a female she reveals the name to her husband, so that he can call her to resurrection (not heaven). If he does not call her the belief is she will b called by someone else because in LDS theology everyone gets resurrected, saints and sinners.

[blueamy66]

71. wow

I thought so......it's fun to be Catholic and know sooooo much about the Mormon religion..pisses them off!!!!!!

[FreeState]

20. Clearing up a couple things

Garments are worn by the mainstream LDS church as well as the polygamist break offs (the styles are different - the polygamist have ones that cover ankle to wrist). The mainstream church makes them in several different fabrics - all the same cut depending on sex. They even have green ones for members in te military (otherwise they are wire made with cotton, mesh, nylon or one piece cotton - like underroos

One is not excommunicated for divorce but one may be on probation for a period if there was "sin" involved. Men can get sealed again with only a civil divorce without a Temple divorce, women need both a temple divorce and a civil divorce.

Garments have no symbolism in marriage and are taken off for sports, bathing and sex. (In the old days people left them on all the time - but that was a long long time ago - my great grandparents left theirs on but no one after that).

[liberalmuse]

29. There are also messages sown in them...

in the boobies and crotch. I don't know what they say, though.

[bhikkhu]

39. ...about the messages and some history here:

http://www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_garments_section1.html

the usual hoodoo-voodoo stuff.

[MADem]

5. That dog looks horrified at those skid-marked drawers!

And the underwear in the other post look damn uncomfortable to wear!

[sakabatou]

6. There's a joke I'd make

but I can't remember the DUer's name. He often satirizes himself.

[wendylaroux]

7. I don't know about that

but yuck,those underwear!-that poor dogs expression is making me sad.

[pinboy3niner]

8. The REAL question: What does DUer underpants know...

...and when did he know it?

[BlancheSplanchnik]

12. yeahhhhh, now that you mention it......

hrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[boppers]

16. Those crazy jews and their yarmulkes and talit...

Oh, wait, am I in the wrong thread of hate?

I should be mocking other people here?

Mea culpa.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

25. if there was some jackass Jewish candidate, using his religiosity

to lord over others, lying brazenly, pretending to be a moral paragon while in actuality displaying a track record of gleefully predatory behavior, then yes, I might just make fun of his tallit, yarmulke, tefillin AND his mezuzah, to boot.

[boppers]

33. Do you ever worry this kind of hate might backfire?

That the resulting hate might go towards the group, not the individual?

[BlancheSplanchnik]

37. I guess I better watch my hate for a lying predator animal abuser

because it might backfire onto other lying predator animal abusers.






btw, I don't know if it makes any difference to you, but I grew up Jewish. I remember my Dad, wearing his yarmulke on Passover as he read from the Haggadah at Seder. He had his issues, but he wasn't a lying predator animal abuser.

[boppers]

42. The bible has countless examples of ritual Jewish animal sacrifice.

Maybe death isn't "abuse"....



To make my point clearer, there was this semi-famous philosopher dude who pointed out that mocking others, without self-examination, shows hypocritical thinking.

Rmoney made his animals terrified and shit themselves for family vacation.

Jews bled animals to death as a sacrifice to god.

Regularly.

So, yeah, not cool, either way, but to mock one, and ignore the other, is kind of blind to one's own traditions, and the faults one carries forward by carrying forward the tradition.

If you'd like me to target the horrors of many other Christians and Muslims, I can do that too.... the Abrahamic tradition is quite bloody.

[cali]

52. uh gee, maybe that's because Jews haven't done that for a millenia or two

whereas Romney did the dog car things a wee bit more recently. Not that they are remotely connected. Unless, dear, you're claiming that that Romney putting his freakin' dog on the car is a religious ritual- which of course it is not. you're thinking is more than a little muddled here. It's majorly discombobulated.

[boppers]

74. Religion is discombobulated.

"Oh, we aren't doing this insane thing *now*, we've moved on to other insane things" is a poor defense.

An omnipotent, omnipresent, god of the universe, has designated Rome, Israel, or Salt Lake City as the best place, in the whole universe, for his "people"?

Yeah, it seems pretty odd.

[arely staircase]

67. are you saying the dog on the car was religious act? nt

[LiberalEsto]

69. Only if it wore magic dog underwear. nt

[Arugula Latte]

110. ...

[HiPointDem]

76. Then why are you wasting space talking about his underwear? and his religion?

did it ever occur to you that some posters and readers might be mormon and take offense to the bigotry?

[BlancheSplanchnik]

82. he invites it by using his religion to beat people with , and his religion invites it

by its teachings that subjugate normal and good human behavior to bizarre ritual and oppressive teachings.

this is NOT oppression of innocents, here...and plenty of people don't seem to think this was a waste of space.

as I said upthread,

I get tired of over scrupulosity. If mocking idiocy, cynical exploitation, hypocrisy, showboating and all that is naughty-naughty, then we lose a way to identify what's wrong and communicate it!!! Group norms, folks. Peer pressure is very much about enforcing group norms...so if you want to reinforce norms of integrity, humility, all that good stuff, we better be able to talk about what it ISN'T!! Humor is a powerful way to do that.

Unless, of course, we'd like to scrupulously fire all comedians, too.

bye bye to Lenny Bruce, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert and a host of others.


by the way, a lot of women here object to using the word bitch, c*** and douchebag, but there is very little outcry. And what outcry there is is usually ignored. Now THERE's an example of entrenched bigotry that demeans and humiliates innocents

[alfredo]

26. If any group or religion sticks their nose into my business, they will be mocked.

[boppers]

31. You must have a very full dance card. eom

[alfredo]

65. It's a full time job.

[snooper2]

84. Billions of people on the planet following the writings of old men

from thousands of years ago talking about various versions of sky beings, yeah it's a full time job LOL


You want to help? The pay is shit but the rewards are everlasting

[Bluenorthwest]

59. The particular props and texts used by a person making a theatrical display of their own

devotion do not really matter. It is not the props and the patter that matter, it is the use to which they are put which in Mitt's case includes slandering other people with lies, using those props and words to sell his crapola.
So if he did it using the lexicon of any faith or philosophy it would still be hypocrisy, mendacity and slanders. The 'Mormon' stuff is just a set of images and props for him to make use of. He could and would do the same with any other faith he might have chosen.
It is not the particulars of the faith, it is the particulars of the actions of the faithful in the name of their faith, or when using that faith as reason or warrant, that matters.
Your thinking seems to suggest that if anyone uses a 'faith' as cover for vicious actions, anyone who criticizes that is attacking the faith, when I say that it is the one exploiting the faith for personal agenda that is attacking the faith they claim to love. I just don't buy into this idea that if the person who beats me uses a crucifix, defending myself is an attack on the cross, not the person exploiting a sacred image for their own agenda.

[lunatica]

62. DUrec!

[BlancheSplanchnik]

79. Thank you!!!!

I get tired of over scrupulosity. If mocking idiocy, cynical exploitation, hypocrisy, showboating and all that is naughty-naughty , then we lose a way to identify what's wrong and communicate it!!! Group norms, folks. Peer pressure is very much about enforcing group norms...so if you want to reinforce norms of integrity, humility, all that good stuff, we better be able to talk about what it ISN'T!! Humor is a powerful way to do that.

Unless, of course, we'd like to scrupulously fire all comedians, too.

bye bye to Lenny Bruce, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert and a host of others.

[boppers]

88. Well thought, and said.

Thank you.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

91. umm, I think she's debating your insistence that poking fun at mitty's religion

is tantamount to bigotry against the religion as a whole and all members of it, and that it could lead to violence and animal sacrifice.



"Your thinking seems to suggest that if anyone uses a 'faith' as cover for vicious actions, anyone who criticizes that is attacking the faith"

Maybe she made the point I was trying to make, only more clearly......

[boppers]

92. I am learning to know when I need to back off, and think.

Most religions have had abhorrent practices.

Maybe we shouldn't judge them on their past.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

94. gee, this was nice to read :)

made me smile

[boppers]

98. We all grow. DU Helps me grow.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

99. me too

it does--helps me grow too.

[HiPointDem]

75. +1. Mitt Romney is a Mormon, that's the big campaign issue. Or his dog, or how he says 'grits'.

It's just as cheap and mean as junior high school.

I wonder if there are any mormons at DU.

[boppers]

89. There are a chunk of former mormons.

I cannot quantify how many, but if not outright apologists, there are those on DU who provide contextualization.... of which I am one.

[Jello Biafra]

17. A primer on magic underwear

[murielm99]

43. This was very funny.

Thanks.

I am surprised there was not more outrage over this thread. Usually, when we talk about the magic underwear, there are several indignant Mormons and other people who question our liberal credentials and our inappropriate laughter. After all, other faith systems have irrational behaviors and beliefs, too.

It was still funny.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

46. I read somewhere that the compass and square symbols on their underwear were derived

from Freemasonry and that Joseph Smith was a Free Mason who incorporated a lot of their ways into Mormonism.

[boppers]

73. Oh, it's not just the garments.

There's a lot of crossover.

Kind of like the Catholics and Protestants stealing from Jews, who stole from their tribal own customs....

Religious studies are fun.

[Union Scribe]

45. That poor bloodhound doesn't look happy.

And this is why I don't go camping: big naked convicts running around.

[deacon]

47. Yes, they are sold by Fruit of the Loon. n/t

[alphafemale]

49. Mitt Romney has never slept naked with his wife. nt

[vaberella]

50. Why does the dog look terrified of them?

They do exist, but I don't know what mechanism makes them work.

[obamanut2012]

54. Yes, and you can buy them online

A friend s ex-LDS, and temple married. I've seen his garments, and they are akin to something someone who wear in Edwardian times, or before, even though they have been "modernized." They also have Masonic symbols sewn on them. The latter need to be cut out of the garments and disposed of properly before old garments are tossed. Also, he said his bishop told him and his now ex wife they were to ALWAYS wear the garments, including during sex, and even while bathing. Apparently this bishop was a bit of a Fundie on garment wearing protocol.

Garments can stop bullets and fire, or so my friend was taught.

[Bluenorthwest]

60. "I agree with 3,000 years of recorded history.

Marriage is an institution between a man and a woman."
To say that while the fact is the man's grandparents were polygamists is just disgusting. 'Marriage is between a man and a woman, unless is it between a man and a group of women as part of a religious 'tradition' made up from scratch way less than 200 years ago.'
3,000 years claims the man whose faith was 2,800 years shy of that mark when they rewrote the entire view of marriage in the culture they lived in.
Mitt is one of the most horrid liars I have ever seen. And frankly, it seems that his church upholds and approves of his bullshit. 3000 years, except for a block of time in MO, Utah, then Mexico when marriage was more freewheeling....

[Wind Dancer]

109. +1000

You nailed it!

[jcboon]

61. I always thought THIS was magic underwear. . .

[BlancheSplanchnik]

63. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! HAHAHAaalAOALAOALAAHHA!!

and the finishing touch, "Yatta!"

[MineralMan]

77. I object to ridiculing a candidate's religious beliefs.

We should be better than that, I think, on DU.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

80. I'm sorry, but I don't believe it's as simplistic as ridiculing an innocent's religious beliefs.

as I said upthread,

I get tired of over scrupulosity. If mocking idiocy, cynical exploitation, hypocrisy, showboating and etcetera is naughty-naughty , then we lose a way to identify what's wrong and communicate it!!! Group norms, folks. Peer pressure is very much about enforcing group norms...so if you want to reinforce norms of integrity, humility, all that good stuff, we better be able to talk about what it ISN'T!! Humor is a powerful way to do that.

Unless, of course, we'd like to scrupulously fire all comedians, too.

bye bye to Lenny Bruce, Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert and a host of others.


by the way, a lot of women here object to using the word bitch, c*** and douchebag, but there is very little outcry. And what outcry there is is usually ignored. Now THERE's an example of entrenched bigotry that demeans and humiliates innocents


not trying to force you to abandon your beliefs, just explaining mine.

[MineralMan]

85. The thing is that I'm an atheist.

On a personal level, I think all religions are based on mythology. So, this OP didn't offend me in that sense at all.

In 2008, when President Obama was running for his first term, the opposition made an attempt to cast him as a Muslim. We all objected to that, since it was both not true and wouldn't matter if it were true.

JFK was criticized for his Catholic background by his opposition. That was the wrong thing to do, too. He had to give a speech about it.

Romney is a Mormon. It's just as wrong to criticize him for his membership in the LDS church as it was to call Obama a Muslim or JFK a Catholic as a way to criticize him.

Romney's politics are all that is needed for more than adequate criticism. Criticizing religious beliefs is a very risky business, especially if it's done in a way that ridicules the religion in the process. That kind of criticism backfires as often as not, and is simply not the thing to do. The whole "magic underwear" meme is a false flag when used to criticize a Presidential candidate.

We all rightly criticized the right for using the Muslim nonsense against Obama. We rightly criticized campaign strategies that tried to negatively associate JFK with Catholicism. We needn't stoop to ridiculing Romney's religion. It's a bad idea. It makes us look foolish. There are plenty of other things to criticize about Romney, like tying his dog to the top of his car and his blindness to the state of so many people's livelihoods.

I have no religion. Others do. That's a personal deal, and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with their politics.

Harry Reid is also a Mormon. Does he wear the "magic underwear?" I don't know, and it's none of my business. But, you're ridiculing his beliefs, too, when you ridicule Romney for being a Mormon. Are you sure that's what you want to do?

I'm going to turn this into an OP of its own, but I'm posting it here in this thread.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

86. I do see your point here

you state it well.

I'm at work now and have to run, so can't take time to say more.

I admit I am not totally disabused of my perspective, but you do give good food for thought.

[Major Hogwash]

102. Well, yeah, but that doesn't matter now. Wait until after you die.

Because after you die, the Mormon church is going to baptize you in order to bring you into their church to save you from going to hell.
And you can't stop them from doing it!

Muslims don't do that.
Catholics don't do that.

That's why this difference matters.
The other churches are religious institutions, not cults.

Baptism of the dead is considered an anathema to Christians who use the King James bible as the basis of their church doctrine.
It is explicitly mentioned in the bible, just as witchcraft or devil worshiping are spelled out.
So, this is a huge difference between ALL other Christian churches and the Church of Latter-Day Saints.
They stand all alone among all other churches, mosques, or synagogues as one who believes in this practice.

[MineralMan]

103. They can baptize me all they want.

Why would I care, especially after I'm dead? Atheists don't believe in any of that business, so it's of no importance to me at all.

[mac56]

81. Well, now you've done it.

Back in the '08 primaries I posted an entry on DU making light-hearted fun of Gov. Romney and his Temple garment.

I got pelted with rocks and garbage. Beaten like a bowl of egg whites.

I still can't walk outdoors alone after dark. (Shudder.)

[BlancheSplanchnik]

83. scrupulosity.

yep. to paraphrase Emerson, a foolish moral superiority is the hobgoblin of small minds.

Sorry you got tarred and feathered! Uhhhh, when life hands you tar and feathers.....make Halloween costumes??

[Erose999]

87. MITTENS IS A NEVERNUDE!!!11!1

[Yavin4]

93. Do You Have To Clean Magic Underwear?

If it's magic, shouldn't it clean itself?

[BlancheSplanchnik]

95. are you kidding?

if it's magic, it should clean the HOUSE for you!

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

104. If they get dirty, just wear them inside-out

I'm not sure if that method works more than once, however.

[Major Hogwash]

100. Proud to be the 100th reply to this filthy, disgusting thread.

This is what America is all about, soiled underwear.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

101. *snort*

AND

HOGwash!



Ooooo! I'm 101

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

105. Some of mine are not magic, but they are immortal

decades old, and still holding up fine, except for maybe a few holes.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

106. LOL!!

I SOOOOOOOO want to make a "skidmark" joke

Just a Bozo On This Bus--Firesign Theatre, right?

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

108. Skidmark joke? Skidmarks are no joking matter, Blanche!

Yes, Firesign Theater. They had a bunch of good character names.

[pinboy3niner]

107. Reminds me of the Hank Williams line about his car...

"My tires and tubes are doin' fine but the air is showin' through."

[Arugula Latte]

111. So you wear holy garments, too.