900 Cries For Help... Now She's Dead

[MrScorpio]

http://perksofbeingkelley.tumblr.com/post/23127701462

[Cooley Hurd]

1. Recommending.

[Rhiannon12866]

2. K&R. This is so unspeakably sad...

And so unnecessary.

[GliderGuider]

3. Jesus. What can one say?

My heart breaks open.

[SemperEadem]

4. there are so many bullies

who post vile things to people on facebook and when that person is driven over the edge by the words these vile people write, they want to act like sugar could never melt in their mouths. They don't want to take responsibility for the shit they write.

That test about people being so easily persuaded to turn into bullying thugs if they believe no one will catch them and there will be no repercussions is so true. Facebook postings such as those this poor girl had to endure are testament to that truth. It can, collectively, sometimes be like the neighbors of Kitty Genovese.

if nothing else, their fb accounts should be cancelled; however, I feel that they should be made to make answer by the law for what they wrote which contributed to the deterioration of this victim's mental state. It's a shame when death appears to be the only alternative out of pain for some people.

[mfcorey1]

5. OMG!!!!!!!! NT

[Myrina]

6. Horribly sad, and even worse that ..

... her parents had no apparent clue until they logged in to her Tumblr account??

Why can't families TALK to each other anymore??!?

[secondwind]

7. Parents need to monitor their kids' computers. Also, is the Christian Right

against anti-bullying laws? What's wrong with these people?

[catbyte]

11. In MI they tried to pass an "Anti-Bullying" law that exempted bullies of LGBT

kids if the bullying was based on the bully's "religious" beliefs. It was a despicable law and thankfully died.

Diane
Anishinaabe in MI & mom to Leo, Sophie, Taz & Nigel, members of Dogs Against Romney, Cat Division
"We ride inside--HISS!”

[Brickbat]

8. It looks like she had some serious mental health issues that they hadn't yet found solutions for.

Bullying may have been part of it, but it sounds like a lot of the demons were in her head as well.

[get the red out]

9. I agree, but...

In today's climate especially, mental health care for teenagers needs to be taken seriously by mental health care providers. It appears her parents tried to get her help, which proved sadly ineffective. Professionals need to get on the ball and catch up with the times and start talking proactively about what kind of outside influences may be counteracting any treatment they are attempting to provide.

They also need to take depression in teenagers seriously. I had hoped we were long past what the psychiatrist said to me as a severely depressed teenager without the energy to get out of bed and even eat meals "You shouldn't feel this way, you already have a scholarship to collage waiting on you." I hope mental health professionals really are past that mindset from long ago.

If social media had existed when I was a kid I have serious doubts I'd be available for menopause. It was enough to endure the hatred of my peers during the school hours.

[magical thyme]

13. Years of being mocked, ridiculed, told your ugly, etc. can do that to you

Demons (including anorexia) generally aren't inborn. They're planted. By bullies.

And after enough years, when you realize you're in for a lifetime of being mocked, ridiculed and ostracized, suicide becomes euthanasia.

I speak of someone who has spent a lifetime being bullied, not only by my peers but also by my family. I was fortunate to have found solace in my animals. Between my adopted furfamily, a good social worker in my 20s who labeled my clinical depression as situational (as opposed to something being inherently wrong with me), and the knowledge that if I killed myself not only would nobody care, my mother would use it as a way to get attention even while secretly being glad (which helped me project the rage outward toward one of the worst of the bullies), I found reasons to carry on.

Understand that even now, at age 58, I am STILL BULLIED BY MY PEERS. Work only ceased to be hell when I ceased to give a flying fuck and told one of my bullies to fuck. off. He complained about me, but since I had already reported the group's combined sexual harassment, he was told to leave me alone and appears to have been reassigned to cleaning the other side of the hospital or some other cleaning duties because he no longer shows up in the lab when I'm there.

In my world, there are 2 kinds of people. There are people who are civil and friendly to me. And there are bullies. There are no friends. Online is the closest I get to people, because you can't hurt my furfamily. And yes, some bullies are so vicious they have targeted my critters to hurt me.

Do not, DO NOT EVER BLAME THE VICTIM. Because I guarantee that the biggest thing "wrong" with her was she was targeted by bullies. Period.

[Romulox]

15. magical thyme, I don't have any clever advice or anything, but I can relate to your story.

Thank you for sharing, and thank goodness for the "furfamily"!

[catbyte]

10. It's tragic but 19 seems old to be bullied

I guess the cumulative effects of depression and anorexia were finally too much. Was she hospitalized on May 1 if she's tried to take her life on that day for the last 4 years or was she too old at 19?

[magical thyme]

14. there is no "too old to be bullied"

I am 58. I am still targeted, both at work and at home. Just in more subtle ways.

And what do you think domestic abuse is? When one spouse abuses another, whether verbally or physically or both, that is bullying.

What do you think elder abuse is? When children abuse their parents, or when a nursing home worker abuses a patient, that is bullying.

[Tsiyu]

17. [phone]

[Coyote_Bandit]

18. Some of the worst bullying I've ever observed

was inflicted by adults - some of them supervisors or part owners - of a very stuffed shirt mid-size business. The objects of their ridicule included their co-workers: the gay guy in the mailroom, never married romantically unattached women, fat people, poorer employees, employees whose formal business attire was not fashionable, those with unusual religious beliefs.

[lapislzi]

19. Wow. Maybe you don't know too much about bullying.

One of the truest, wisest things ever said to me was by my high school AP English teacher. He was himself gay and an alcoholic, both of which were open secrets in our school. I do not doubt that he had suffered his share of torments over the years, and that may have played a large role in his substance abuse.

A propos of absolutely nothing, one morning, he stood before a class full of seniors, most of us geeks and the targets of bullies (it was AP English, after all), and said, "Guess what? When you get out of here, it doesn't get better. If they bully you now, they're still going to bully you, only some of them will find more subtle ways to do it. The adult world is no different than high school except that the stakes are higher. Get used to it. Grow a thick skin. Fight back if you dare, or find ways to cope."

The class looked up from "The Sound and the Fury," and looked around. We saw one another, naked, the tormentors and the tormented, for who we were.

He was right. It did not improve, not for many, many years, until I found the means to cocoon myself within a tribe of like-minded people.

The bullies are out there, whether you're 9, 19, or 99.

[abolugi]

22. I am a woman

of small stature. I'm middle aged and one of the first things many people try to do when they don't get their way or feel cornered (it's mostly men. but I've noticed it in some women also) is to try to bully me. I usually try to stand my ground and like most bullies when they are confronted they will back off. but sometimes I feel so threatened I have to back down.

Once a bully always a bully, if you ask me.

[vaberella]

24. You can be bullied at any age and in any format. I'm 31 and was recently cyberbullied.

And this was done by other adults. People who want to be teachers are bullying other people. It's sad but it happens. There are just mean, cruel and hateful people out there.

[Romulox]

12. Her parents blame anonymous people of Facebook? "NO ONE had noticed..."

That includes her damn parents.

[laundry_queen]

21. That was my first thought

when I saw that she had anorexia and no one noticed. WTF? I have 4 kids (1 teen) and I noticed EVERY FUCKING THING about them. I notice if they get a new zit FFS. The parents sound incredibly detached from their own child.

[vaberella]

25. Sometimes you don't. My sister was bullied for 7 fuckin' years and I never thought...

I really didn't think she suffered the way she did. She was a recluse and didn't talk much. So I figured she was just shy and preferred staying by herself. Then she told us one day what was going on. I figured I should have known. I went to the same school. Had I known, my dad would not have only been in school the same day but she probably would have changed schools that day. But we knew nothing and it was bad. The teachers didn't know either. The kids would make these comments and be so hateful towards her.

No worries...she's 26, but I still blame myself for not being aware of it.

[Romulox]

27. Sorry your sister went through that. I hope it made her stronger, somehow.

Just trying to make sense of it--why people are so cruel to one another.

[lynne]

16. This isn't about bullying. It's about mental illness.

Watch her video. She admits she began harming herself years ago. States she sees an imaginary person who's her best friend. She was diagnosed as anorexic. She says she's tried to commit suicide many times over numerous years.

Also that she's been hospitalized numerous times and the article refers to counseling. Obviously, her illness was known and her parents tried to help her. She certainly wasn't ignored by either her family or her physicians.

Yes, kids can be cruel and horrible comments were posted. But, the end result is that her mental illness made her take her own life.

[vaberella]

26. Or maybe it was the bullying and the mental illness that caused this.

Bullying has been known to lead to many suicides in the past.

[Alcibiades]

20. Troubled teens and the internet

Everyone wants to feel special, as Olivia Penpraze did. Hegel described life as a quest for mastery: if that's true, then life is a joke for many young people, who are old enough to have an emerging awareness of who they are but limited by the fact of their youth and that teens are not in control of their own destiny. When you throw in cruelty, puberty and alienation, it's a toxic mix.

Having said that, it appears Olivia had a bit of a personality cult on Youtube.

So here you have a young woman, who wants to feel better but does not know how, who plunges into a medium wherein a lot of strangers offer moral support. Sadly, in her case, her attention-seeking was linked to her declarations of low self-esteem and suicidal ideations. There's a perverse feedback loop here: bullies are telling this girl she's ugly, stupid and worthless, and so she internalizes this message and goes on the internet to express her frustration and depression, whereupon lots of folks come forward to tell her she's a lovely person, and that they support her. What happens if she gets better? Poof, in her mind, the attention will go away. And so she keeps on doing it, creating a whole pre-suicide discourse on the internet-one that only makes her life meaningful if, in the end, she goes through with it.

Yes, the parents are responsible, but have no doubt that they have blamed themselves for it enough. What about all those folks who were watching and commenting? What the hell did they get out of it? Was it a part of some sort of Munchausen fantasy on their part?

Sadly, there appears to be a whole subgenre of teens on Youtube airing their problems in a perverse imitation of actual therapy. It seems likely that some of these kids will fall victim to predators of one sort or another. It is mind-boggling how many views some of these girls have.

&feature=related

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My own kids are three and seven, and I am astounded by the world they are coming into. Your teen years, whether happy or troubled, are not likely to be a time in your life in which puiblicizing your innermost hopes and fears to thousands of people is a project that can produce anything good.

[Evasporque]

23. Conservatives make the world this way by promoting selfishness

and personal responsibility as "virtues" of morality from traditional America....

They tear down community and compassion...and leave us all the worse off.

[MineralMan]

28. If you click the link in the OP, then click the tiny avatars

of those who reblogged this unfortunate young woman's page, you'll see page after page of people in similar situations to the young woman who committed suicide. Which ones are serious and which are just having some trouble? Who can say?

What to do? I don't know.