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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsFavorite Bible verse?
I'm going with John 2;9:
9 And when the headwaiter tasted the water that had become wine, without knowing where it came from (although the servers who had drawn the water knew), the headwaiter called the bridegroom
10 and said to him, "Everyone serves good wine first, and then when people have drunk freely, an inferior one; but you have kept the good wine until now."
11 Jesus did this as the beginning of his signs in Cana in Galilee and so revealed his glory, and his disciples began to believe in him.
http://www.vatican.va/archive/bible/new-testament/documents/bible_john-chap-2-cana_en.html
IDemo
(16,926 posts)"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full."
KamaAina
(78,249 posts)tymorial
(3,433 posts)The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
arcane1
(38,613 posts)whatthehey
(3,660 posts)Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)offered up your daughters to be raped, and eaten the flesh of your own children after your enemy has besieged you.
whatthehey
(3,660 posts)Glassunion
(10,201 posts)whatthehey
(3,660 posts)I know they occasionally like to disavow the nasty bits of the OT when they are inconvenient (but never the nicer bits natch), but nobody has ever made a serious move to make iit noncanonical
Orrex
(63,201 posts)Poetry.
lame54
(35,284 posts)Atman
(31,464 posts)Glassunion
(10,201 posts)hunter
(38,310 posts)For spittle spewing sexually explicit rants, my favorite is Ezekiel. He reminds me of my grandma.
NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)Translations have been manipulated by il-motivated men for centuries to suit their own purposes at the time. Some books were included while others excluded by Popes and rulers to (how funny is this?) give them legitimacy and control.
It holds no special powers. It was not given out by a Lady in a Lake, nor was it spawned by a funny looking ceature or super hero from another dimension.
I personally get more out of Green Eggs and Ham (and far few people were killed by the inspiration of Seuss).
I know this thread was a snark piece, but I am so sick to freakin death of special excuses and reverence given to this book simply because it is old or some people think it was created and inspired by their deity.
branford
(4,462 posts)The Bible was written mostly by brown Middle-Eastern dudes.
You are also certainly free peacefully follow (or not) any book or dogma of your choosing, but one would expect you would respectfully return the courtesy, particularly since contrary to many in the media, there are a great many liberals and progressives who hold religious beliefs, including various denominations of Jews, Muslims and Christians who base their liberal beliefs and actions on "books written by old white dudes."
NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)Didn't the King James version remove a bunch of previous books from his bible?
Hasn't the bible been used to manipulat eand controll based on the whims of those sponsoring the translations?
branford
(4,462 posts)nor would I ever deny that religion and religious texts (and a whole lot of other things unrelated to religion) have been used by those in power to manipulate, oppress or control.
My issue was with your not so implicit scorn and condemnation of anyone and everyone who may hold religious beliefs. Such blanket stereotypes are decidedly illiberal and quite insulting to many religious progressives, on DU and elsewhere.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)Genesis 19:4-8
Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodomboth young and oldsurrounded the house. They called to Lot, 'Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.' Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, 'No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.'"
Deut. 28:53
Then because of the dire straits to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you.
Genesis 38: 9
Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brothers wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also.
Deut. 23:1
No man whose testicles have been crushed or whose organ has been cut off may become a member of the Assembly of God.
Leviticus 24:16
Whoever utters the name of the Lord must be put to death. The whole community must stone him, whether alien or native. If he utters the name, he must be put to death.
hobbit709
(41,694 posts)bvf
(6,604 posts)Tradition calls for a guest to deliver the blessing.
bvf
(6,604 posts)PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)It's not.
Mendocino
(7,486 posts)Chapter 2 Verses 9-21
O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it Thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits
A HERETIC I AM
(24,365 posts)Mendocino
(7,486 posts)A HERETIC I AM
(24,365 posts)Mendocino
(7,486 posts)did grin.
A HERETIC I AM
(24,365 posts)Mendocino
(7,486 posts)Now we see the violence inherent in the system.
A HERETIC I AM
(24,365 posts)Mendocino
(7,486 posts)to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you
A HERETIC I AM
(24,365 posts)We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear.... We are just not used to handsome knights.
Mendocino
(7,486 posts)all this will be yours.
What...the curtains?
A HERETIC I AM
(24,365 posts)He was not afraid to die, o Brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed
into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off,
And his penis--
That's -- that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads.
Looks like there's dirty work afoot.
Mendocino
(7,486 posts)A NEWT?
I..I..got better.
ileus
(15,396 posts)lumberjack_jeff
(33,224 posts)"And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu... "
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)There is a Python reference for EVERY occasion.
lumberjack_jeff
(33,224 posts)JeffHead
(1,186 posts)Agschmid
(28,749 posts)Last edited Tue Sep 1, 2015, 06:49 PM - Edit history (1)
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)I tell you solemnly, they will find their reward in Heaven".
arcane1
(38,613 posts)PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)Especially for what appears to be either religious or to mock the religious.
(I used it to mock the religious, shame on me, but I figured it would/should be locked)
TexasTowelie
(112,108 posts)TexasTowelie
(112,108 posts)and I pointed out that recently a reporter questioned Donald Trump as to what his favorite Bible verse was. Trump was evasive and never offered an answer to the question. Since it is a recent news topic it is not restricted in the GD forum under this provision:
Threads about current events related to religion, and threads about church-state issues are permitted under normal circumstances.
There are at least four votes among the forum hosts to leave the thread so there was no consensus and the thread was unlocked.
I hope that addresses your question.
PeaceNikki
(27,985 posts)It still does but, meh.
Thanks for taking the time to explain!!
JoePhilly
(27,787 posts)GD should always allow fun threads.
Even bible fun.
Especially when it explains how to correctly serve win at a party.
Chemisse
(30,809 posts)hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. 4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.
6 There was a man sent from God whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. 8 He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.
9 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husbands will, but born of God.
14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
15 (John testified concerning him. He cried out, saying, This is the one I spoke about when I said, He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.) 16 Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18 No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known.
LiberalElite
(14,691 posts)always made me wonder why the fundies were against alcohol. I figure if it were all that bad, the story would be Jesus changed wine into water.
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)Last edited Tue Sep 1, 2015, 08:44 PM - Edit history (1)
If that story is not the ultimate religious endorsement for booze, I don't know what is.
Xolodno
(6,390 posts)...the likely hood this was also his own wedding.
Nutcase: "Jesus was married!?"
Me: "Uh, yeah...why wouldn't he be given history at the time? Plus there are verses in the Bible that imply that"
Nutcase: "He can't be married! Otherwise he wasn't PERFECT!"
Me: "Uhm....I know where this is going...but I'll go ahead and give you a chance to surprise me."
Nutcase: "Because he would have had.......*heavy breathing*.....SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111".
Me: "That isn't a sin. Plus God commanded it in Genesis when he said "be fruitful and multiply, he was fulfilling God's commandment..and I can go on about other verses of the OT that made this a requirement."
Nutcase: "YOU HERETIC (or insert another or many other derogatory names), REPENT BEFORE YOU GO TO HELL!!!!!!!111111
Me: "Yeah...this went the way I thought it would...by the way, Christ says only he has the power to condemn someone to....ah never mind, I can see how red your face is and won't be able to get through to you...but hey, I'll pray for you."
Nutcase: *head explodes* *yells incoherently*.
deacon_sephiroth
(731 posts)This new thing on the internet where people have whole hypothetical conversations with themselves. I see kids posting like this all over youtube and whatnot. There are people here and you can talk to US if you like. It's also the very definition of a strawman. I don't disagree with you, just saying this method of debate is going to seem very strange (and ineffective) to a lot of people.
Xolodno
(6,390 posts)Whatever dude.
I've had conversations that have gone like that almost for verbatim. Sure I simplified it a tad, but that was pretty much what happened. But Fundamentalist Christians who don't know the Bible, are predictable. In that, they only believe what the guy at the pulpit spews (its also the reason why many vote Repube), so if you want to talk strawman, maybe they shouldn't start with strawman arguments I can easily call out the bullshit on.
Oh and, this isn't just limited to if Jesus was married, but the Trinity Doctrine, the Apostles actual theological issues with each other, food laws, etc.
And one last point, I'm not debating. But conveying and "some what" generalizing my experiences in debating Fundamentalist Christians as they view me as a heretic (and I'm proud to be a heretic). I'm pretty sure most who read my last post on this thread get that I am relaying my experiences (and to a degree, my frustrations in debating people who won't acknowledge the very books they say to profess). So hypothetical conversation? Nope. Although part of me wishes it was.
StevieM
(10,500 posts)"Come now, let us reason together"
-Isaiah 1:18
"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."
-John 8: 7
"and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore."
-Isaiah 2:4
Drahthaardogs
(6,843 posts)1 Though I command languages both human and angelic -- if I speak without love, I am no more than a gong booming or a cymbal clashing.
2 And though I have the power of prophecy, to penetrate all mysteries and knowledge, and though I have all the faith necessary to move mountains -- if I am without love, I am nothing.
3 Though I should give away to the poor all that I possess, and even give up my body to be burned -- if I am without love, it will do me no good whatever.
4 Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous; love is not boastful or conceited,
5 it is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offence or store up grievances.
6 Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but finds its joy in the truth.
7 It is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.
8 Love never comes to an end. But if there are prophecies, they will be done away with; if tongues, they will fall silent; and if knowledge, it will be done away with.
9 For we know only imperfectly, and we prophesy imperfectly;
10 but once perfection comes, all imperfect things will be done away with.
11 When I was a child, I used to talk like a child, and see things as a child does, and think like a child; but now that I have become an adult, I have finished with all childish ways.
12 Now we see only reflections in a mirror, mere riddles, but then we shall be seeing face to face. Now I can know only imperfectly; but then I shall know just as fully as I am myself known.
13 As it is, these remain: faith, hope and love, the three of them; and the greatest of them is love.
panader0
(25,816 posts)Thank you.
Drahthaardogs
(6,843 posts)I often wonder what happened to Paul on his road to Damascus that caused his conversion. So much of the bible is just old and strange,but the Pauline letters are inspirational to me.
Fla_Democrat
(2,547 posts)NKJV
27 So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest.
28 Therefore take the talent from him, and give it to him that has ten talents.
29 'For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him that does not have, even what he has will be taken away.
30 And cast the unprofitable servant into the outer darkness. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25&version=NKJV
Of course 27 is pretty good as well, it makes people's fuzzy heads explode seeing 'deposit with bankers'...
Proverbs 19 9 A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish.
Romans 3:13 Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive. The venom of asps is under their lips.
Xolodno
(6,390 posts)but...
[36] "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?"
[37] And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.
[38] This is the great and first commandment.
[39] And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
[40] On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets."
.................
Commentary:
This puts the "dashing of children against rocks" and having "crushed nuts" verses in question....as in, probably weren't written with the intention/perspective the authors put it in. Example, "story" of David defeating Goliath who had bronze armor....when bronze wasn't invented yet. But was rewritten "later" to "energize" rebellion against the Greeks...who had bronze armor.
But alas, most like to view God as some kind of vengeful, fire and brimstone, destroy every thing, etc. because it appeals to them. For example, most read the plagues of Moses as "Gods retribution on Pharaoh"....really? How do you know that? And why would he give retribution if he can decide "to hell with you". I've always looked at it as "hey, nature is going to cause some shit, I can help you get past it....but you need to drop this whole slavery thing, otherwise, I'm going to let nature take its course".
Granted, the story is written on the bias of "Gods revenge!".
But when I look at God warning an earlier Pharaoh (an idol worshiper and someone who should have no contact with God) of impending seven year drought....
God willing to spare Sodom and Gomorrah if good men can be found.
Sparing of Nineveh...
etc.
A caring and benevolent God can be found...and then when you add the known fact that stories were rewritten later to support "politics" of the time...
You can take a step back and realize, the OT may not be all cracked up as the nutcases claim it to be. And can reconcile with the NT much easier as well.
Plus when you realize when Church and State merged is when dogma's not supported by the NT begin to emerge...you can draw a correlation.
Of course, this makes you heretic like me and should burned at the nearest wooden steak.
JoePhilly
(27,787 posts)... but you picked one that I actually learned something from.
Having said this, my friends and I always saved the good beer / alcohol for after the common folks left the party.
Romulox
(25,960 posts)Matthew 7:3:
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
gvstn
(2,805 posts)Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? Behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest.
Revelation 3:16
So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth
Cairycat
(1,706 posts)Psalm 27 always comforts me when I am feeling weak/afraid
From the New English Bible's version of the Beatitudes, Matthew 5:3
"How blessed are they who know their need of God; the kingdom of Heaven is theirs."
and I can never find it in the New Testament, but a verse to the effect, "If you do not love your brother whom you have seen, how can you say you love God, whom you have not seen?"
TexasProgresive
(12,157 posts)1John4:20
If anyone says, I love God, but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God* whom he has not seen.
REP
(21,691 posts)Also my reaction to this post in GD.
Gormy Cuss
(30,884 posts)3catwoman3
(23,972 posts)..a biblical scholar, and would absolutely lose any contest to quote "chapter and verse."
Nonetheless, I do have 2 favorites.
The first is "Judge ye not, lest ye be judged.
The second was that which was in the first response to this OP - the one about praying in private.
Interesting that these 2 are among those biblical guidelines so consistently ignored/eschewed by those who typically yap the loudest about how religious they are.
Response to Nye Bevan (Original post)
Warren DeMontague This message was self-deleted by its author.
Response to Nye Bevan (Original post)
greendog This message was self-deleted by its author.
Starry Messenger
(32,342 posts)O Lord, God of Israel, give me strength now. 8 Then Judith raised the sword and struck him twice in the neck as hard as she could, chopping off his head. 9 She rolled his body off the bed and took down the mosquito net from the bedposts. Then she came out and gave Holofernes' head to her slave, 10 who put it in the food bag.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judith%2013&version=GNT
blogslut
(37,999 posts)-- Book of the Sugenius
Response to blogslut (Reply #61)
Warren DeMontague This message was self-deleted by its author.
blogslut
(37,999 posts)Lizzie Poppet
(10,164 posts)...I quite like Ecclesiastes 5: 8 - 9
Warren Stupidity
(48,181 posts)19:22 Now as they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, certain sons of Belial, beset the house round about, and beat at the door, and spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him.
19:23 And the man, the master of the house, went out unto them, and said unto them, Nay, my brethren, nay, I pray you, do not so wickedly; seeing that this man is come into mine house, do not this folly.
19:24 Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.
19:25 But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go.
19:26 Then came the woman in the dawning of the day, and fell down at the door of the man's house where her lord was, till it was light.
19:27 And her lord rose up in the morning, and opened the doors of the house, and went out to go his way: and, behold, the woman his concubine was fallen down at the door of the house, and her hands were upon the threshold.
19:28 And he said unto her, Up, and let us be going. But none answered. Then the man took her up upon an ass, and the man rose up, and gat him unto his place.
19:29 And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into twelve pieces, and sent her into all the coasts of Israel.
That bible. So full of wisdom.
SidDithers
(44,228 posts)In Genesis
19:1 And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground;
19:2 And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night.
19:3 And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.
19:4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:
19:5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.
19:6 And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,
19: 7 And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.
19:8 Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.
Shorter Lot - Don't rape these two men, for they are guests in my house. Here, instead, take my virgin daughters, and do whatever you'd like to them.
The Bible is a fucking mess. Anyone who believes it should be a guide to moral living has obviously never read it.
Sid
Warren Stupidity
(48,181 posts)and then they reinterpret all the bits that don't fit their view of what their flavor of the abrahamic religion ought to be to fit that view.
Arugula Latte
(50,566 posts)Shrek
(3,977 posts)Also Revelation 20:10.
Peacetrain
(22,875 posts)A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
Bad Thoughts
(2,522 posts)That is in the Bible, right?
0rganism
(23,942 posts)kickoff to a dialog between God and Satan that eventually ends with them completely ruining hundreds of mortal lives to settle a bet.
6 One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them. 7 The Lord said to Satan, Where have you come from?
Satan answered the Lord, From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.
Art_from_Ark
(27,247 posts)Obadiah 1:4 (King James Version)
"Though thou exalt thyself as the eagle, and set thy nest among the stars, thence will I bring thee down, saith the LORD."
On the Road
(20,783 posts)but the parables are so familiar that it's difficult to hear them like the original audience did without explanation:
"And Jesus said: The kingdom of the Father is like a woman carrying a jar full of meal. While she was walking on a distant road, the handle of the jar broke and the meal poured out behind her on the road. She was unaware, she had not noticed the misfortune. When she came to her house, she put the jar down and found it empty."
[link][small]http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/thomas/gospelthomas97.html[/small][/link]
He who ears to hear, let him hear. On a poetic basis I like the opening of his brother's letter:
"Every good and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."
Major Nikon
(36,827 posts)Half-Century Man
(5,279 posts)The whole "my brother's keeper" parable is the basis of most of the rest of it.
Do unto others as you would want done to you. Take care of all. Take your share and share the rest.
hatrack
(59,583 posts)Ecclesiastes 1:4 - Generations come, generations go, but the Earth remains forever.
Matthew 24:40 - The King will say to them, "Yes! I tell you that whenever you did these things for one of the least important brothers of mine, you did them for me!"
And just for fun, Proverbs 26:11 - Just as a dog returns to his vomit, a fool repeats his folly.
yuiyoshida
(41,831 posts)I am Shinto~ Buddhist. Jodo Shinshu.