John Oliver shuts down Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption Church after getting too many donations

[PoliticAverse]

Last edited Mon Sep 14, 2015, 04:41 PM - Edit history (2)

from people spilling their seed of faith...

From:
http://www.ourladyofperpetualexemption.com/

September 13, 2015

It is I, Megareverend and C.E.O. of Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption Church, Pastor John Oliver.

We thank you for all your kind donations, but I’m sorry to report that we have closed down the church. And let me take a moment to explain why - it’s certainly not because we have to.

We have still, miraculously, not broken any laws by promising you untold riches in return for sending us money. We’re also not closing down because you all kept sending us actual seeds, even though we explicitly told you not to. We’re closing because multiple people sent us sperm through the mail. And when someone sends you jizz through the mail, it’s time to stop whatever you’re doing.

So we are shutting this s**t down. Praise be!

Video of the announcement on his show:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=4&v=_kyabItBnGE

[TreasonousBastard]

1. But he kept the four foot penis....

What does that say?

[Orrex]

5. His rod and his staff shall comfort us?

[Initech]

14. So no jizz, but a four foot wooden penis is acceptable.

[davidpdx]

2. Why does it not surprise me that someone sent him sperm?

I guess if that is the worst thing he got in the mail, he's lucky.

[lame54]

8. it's because they didn't send enough for everyone

[csziggy]

13. Did he use this clip as part of his presentation for his church?

[trusty elf]

3. Oh come all ye faithful!

...sorry

[mdbl]

4. I am a man without a church again

[hifiguy]

11. Might I suggest The Church of the Latter-Day Dude?

http://dudeism.com/

[backscatter712]

6. Well, he did ask for seed offerings...

[mercuryblues]

7. how to polish your shaft for seed

Keep polishing

[Codeine]

9. He just threw it right back in my face?!

[PoliticAverse]

10. Video of the announcement on his show...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=4&v=_kyabItBnGE

[Aerows]

12. When they mentioned needing an organ player

that probably wasn't what they meant .

(Sorry I couldn't resist)

[Initech]

15. When he said "donate your seed", he didn't mean literally!