GOP to Defund Dept. of Reality After "Shutdown Bad for Economy" Report

[EEO]

A spurious story on Republicans and a likely government shutdown, because "reasons."

GOP to Defund Dept. of Reality After "Shutdown Bad for Economy" Report

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Department of Reality released a report warning Congressional Republicans a government shutdown would disrupt significant government spending and harm an already weak economy. Republicans responded to the "Shutdown Bad for Economy" report by ignoring the estimated $24 billion price tag from the 2013 government shutdown, and vowing to defund the Department of Reality for "using facts to advance a partisan agenda."

And...

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) was the first to condemn the Department of Reality's report and stated, "The Republicans need to defund Planned Parenthood and the Department of Reality now. It is clear to me that Secretary Green has a partisan agenda, and is a mouthpiece of the Democrats and reality, both of which I strongly dislike."

[HassleCat]

1. I would shut down three government agencies

If you elect me president, I will shut down the Department of Taking Money From Hardworking Patriotic Americans and Giving It to Illegal Mexicans (DTMFHPAGIIM), the Department of Gay Marriage (DGM), and another one I can't remember right now (AOICRRN). Thank you and God bless America!

[EEO]

2. You are overqualified to be a Republican presidential candidate.