Ben Carson: Pompeii Victims Should Have Outrun Lava - facepalm worthy report by Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Citizens of the Roman town of Pompeii who were victims of Mt. Vesuvius’s eruption in 79 A.D. could have survived if they had “just outrun the lava,” the neurosurgeon Ben Carson told Fox News on Wednesday.
“Most of the plaster casts we have of Pompeii victims show them basically just lying down and whatnot,” he said. “If I had been in Pompeii and I heard Mt. Vesuvius erupting, you can bet I would have made a run for it.”
He said another option open to residents of Pompeii would have been “to fight the volcano.”
“Archeologists estimate that the population of Pompeii was about eleven thousand,” he said. “You can’t tell me that if eleven thousand people put their minds to it they couldn’t beat one volcano.”
Carson said he would spend the next week on the campaign trail dispensing helpful tips about how people can defeat earthquakes, tsunamis, and giant asteroids.
www.borowitzreport.com
= new reply since forum marked as read
The moment the lava hits water, it turns into new land and they just would have had to waited until all the water made them a new beach and presto, instant condo rights up for sale! Gosh, don't you silly liberals even know how this game works? Just because they were too lazy to tread water for a few minutes while nice Vesuvius made them a new beach isn't any reason for us to not point out that they could have survived if only they hadn't been waiting for the government to give them free stuff instead of the volcano!
((If I need to put on the sarcasm tag, you should seek professional help 
))
Because considering what I know about Carson if he had said this I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
That goes for Trump too.
that this was sufficiently "witzig" ("laughable and humorous"
to undo his ill fated attempt to want the job of President.
His abysmally stupid statements, so obviously geared to be cow-towing to the far right, have hurt him hopefully to the core.
it's no longer funny
