If Carson The Surgeon Was As Nutty As Carson The Candidate
Dr. Ben: Nurse, this is a very delicate brain operation, so let's proceed carefully.
Nurse: Yes, doctor. Ready when you are.
Dr. Ben: Rib spreader
Nurse: Beg pardon?
Dr. Ben: Rib spreader! Rib spreader!
Assistant Surgeon: Doctor, shouldnt you put the patient under first?
Dr. Ben: Who the heck are you? What's your name?
Assistant Surgeon: I'm Dr. Mohammed, your assistant. And shouldn't you be wearing a mask and gloves?
Dr. Ben: Muslims can't be doctors! You're too radical! Out of my operating room! Nurse, we need to knock this patient out---gimme the mallet.
(Whomp!]
Dr. Ben: Good. He's in la-la land. Now gimme the nutcracker.
[Crack!]
Dr. Ben: Oh, hey, looka those brains!
Nurse: Dr. Carson, this is a highly irregular procedure.
Dr. Ben: Quiet, nurse! One more word out of you and I'm putting a note in your personnel file that says you're worse than the holocaust! Now c'mere and re-light my cigar.
Nurse: What???
Dr. Ben: I heard that! That was a word! One more and I'll add that you're also worse than slavery! Now send this patient's brain to the dry cleaners and tell 'em to put extra starch in the occipital lobe. My work is done here. When he wakes up tell him he owes me 80 billion dollars. And nurse?
Nurse: Yes, doctor?
Dr. Ben: Before you fill the skull cavity with packing peanuts, get in there and see if you can find my watch. Toodles!
(ker-SLAM!]
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/10/28/1440562/-Cheers-and-Jeers-Wednesday?detail=hide