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Initech

(100,060 posts) Sat Dec 12, 2015, 01:46 PM Dec 2015

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4: Trumpland Uber Alles Edition

Last edited Sat Dec 12, 2015, 04:25 PM - Edit history (1)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4: Trumpland Uber Alles Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots - and a special Saturday edition for all you lovely, lovely people who come back every time! And there is a Saturday edition because there is so much idiocy right now that waiting a week to report on it, that they are literally breaking the internet. Yes, the stupid caused from Donald Trump is creating a black hole that is spreading so far and wide across the internet that I'm devoting this edition to covering all things Trump, as well as a few other crazies. To recap last edition, the NRA was torn a new asshole, but now it seems that now that the dust has settled on the San Bernardino terrorist attack, Donald Trump has indeed gone full Nazi. Before we dive head first into this Saturday edition of TTCI, I would like to begin by giving a shout out to Twitter user @mamasnark, who very brilliantly and perfectly captures the Trump madness in one short Tweet:

Ooh boy - where do we begin this edition? As I just said Donald Trump (1, 2, 3) has gone full Nazi. So much that it's making nearly everyone he has interviewed become extremely uncomfortable to the point where he's had his mic cut several times and even Fox & Friends (see Idiots #2 ) was rendered speechless by the things he's proposing to America's Islamic population. And are you sick of hearing news about Meanwhile, Alex Jones (4) is stirring up his crazy followers in an effort to overthrow the Obama administration, while Michele Fiore (5) one-ups Donald Trump to be the most Islamophobic person in America. In anti environment news, everyone's favorite climate change denying senator James Inhofe (6) stirs up the crazies while ExxonMobil releases news that could indeed spell Armageddon. Elsewhere a new TV network (7) is hoping to launch 24/7 selling guns directly to America's homes. And in even more insane gun nut news, University Of Texas Campus Republicans (8) are planning what could quite possibly be the worst play performed in a park, ever. ESPN commentator Danny Kannell (9), is blaming the "liberal media" for the "war on football" with the release of the new movie Concussion (despite that the NFL is having its' most profitable season ever!). Finally, everyone's (least) favorite Pharma Bro (10) is back, and gets trolled extensively hard by the Wu Tang Clan. Enjoy! And as always don't forget the key!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Yes, that's Donald Trump signing a supporter's boobs. That is how this Saturday edition is going to start. I love using the "Loser" icon in posts relating to Donald Trump. Because he calls everyone else a loser. The man is fucking scary. I keep saying that he's gone full Hitler, but that's only half the story. In the wake of the terror attacks in Paris, Colorado Springs, and most recently San Bernardino (see Idiots #3), Donald Trump is going out on the offensive to make sure that everyone knows that he's the anti-Islam candidate of choice for crazy racist uncles across the United States. Glenn Beck made a living comparing everything Obama does to what Hitler did. Well let me tell you something Glenn Beck - do you even know anything about Nazi Germany? Because electing Donald Trump 1would take us there in half a second. He's proposing [link: http://www.bloomberg.com/politics/trackers/2015-12-07/trump-says-u- s-should-stop-muslims-from-immigrating-to-u-s- |a complete and total ban on US travel if you identify as Muslim.] Everyone has been slamming Trump for this policy, particularly Lindsay Graham:

Washington (CNN)Sen. Lindsey Graham said it's time for Republicans to rebuke presidential hopeful Donald Trump, urging his party to tell Trump to "go to hell."
"You know how you make America great again? Tell Donald Trump to go to hell," Graham said on CNN's "New Day" on Tuesday, picking up on the GOP front-runner's famous slogan, "make America great again."
The South Carolina Republican was responding to Trump's statement released Monday calling for the U.S. to ban all Muslims from entering the country.
"He's a race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot," Graham told Alisyn Camerota. "He doesn't represent my party. He doesn't represents the values that the men and women who wear the uniform are fighting for. ... He's the ISIL man of the year."
http://edition.cnn.com/2015/12/08/politics/lindsey-graham-donald-trump-go-to-hell-ted-cruz/index.html?sr=fbCNN120815lindsey-graham-donald-trump-go-to-hell-ted-cruz0203PMVODtopLink&linkId=19406390

But let's fact check Lindsay Graham and see how accurate this statement is:

Oh no, Mr. Graham. He represents your party very well. In fact he picked up a ringing endorsement from one group of admirers:

That's what Andrew Anglin, publisher of the neo-Nazi website Daily Stormer, had to say in response to Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump's call for a "total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States."

"Finally: someone speaks sense," Anglin wrote, pasting Trump's new proposal under the headline "Glorious Leader Calls For Complete Ban on All Moslems."

"Make America White Again!" his post concludes.

Anglin is not new to the white supremacy scene. In 2012, he launched a website called Total Fascism, where he also wrote about racist concepts, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center's Hatewatch blog.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-neo-nazi-support_56660b92e4b079b2818fcd36

Yes that's America's neo Nazi population calling Donald Trump their "savior". In fact thanks to Der Trumpenfeurher, white supremacism is actually enjoying a surge in popularity. Excuse me a minute...

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

So when our presidential candidates get asked about their favorite movie presidents, that's a sure sign of a campaign going on way longer than it should. But it did result in a hilarious exchange with Harrison Ford where said "Mmmmmgfgmfmdonaldtrumpit'sjustamoviemgfrgrm." In Idiots #2 , I reported that Il Douche called into Fox & Friends and they were so speechless after his phone call, that they had to cut his mic. Even former Vice President Dick Cheney (R - Zombie) is tired of Trump's shenanigans:

Former Vice President Dick Cheney (R) on Monday denounced real estate mogul Donald Trump's plan to restrict all Muslims from immigrating to the U.S., pointing out that the U.S. has always welcomed people of all religions.
"I think this whole notion that somehow we can just say no more Muslims, just ban a whole religion, goes against everything we stand for and believe in," he told conservative radio host Hugh Hewitt. "I mean, religious freedom has been a very important part of our history and where we came from. A lot of people, my ancestors got here, because they were Puritans."
Although Cheney called the Syrian refugee crisis "a serious problem," he argued the U.S. should be concerned some refugees could be affiliated with the self-described Islamic State or other militant groups. Like many in his party, he said he supports more stringent screening of refugees coming into the U.S.
"It's a serious problem to make certain that the people coming in don't represent ISIS," he said. "You've got to set up a vetting process, and that's crucial, but I think the way you've got to begin to deal with that problem is to go back and look at why they're here, and they're here because of what's going on in the Middle East."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dick-cheney-donald-trump-muslims_5666345ae4b079b2818fe17c

That's Dick Cheney - the man arguably responsible for the creation of ISIS, saying that Donald Trump is posing a huge threat to national security. Yes, again Dick Cheney is saying that Donald Trump is a threat to national security. No matter how many times I say it it's still weird. And not only would Donald Trump consider overwriting the Constitution's guarantee of freedom of religion, he'd overwrite freedom of speech as well:

Donald Trump has called for the internet to be turned off so that children can no longer use it.

The presidential hopeful said that "We've got to maybe do something with the internet," because it was being used to radicalize people. He said that he would "see Bill Gates" so that he could look into "closing it up".

Speaking at the same event where he called for a "complete shutdown" on Muslims entering the US, Trump laid out a rough plan for stopping the influence of Isis.

Children in America are "watching the internet and they want to be masterminds", Trump said in a speech.

"We're losing a lot of people because of the internet," Trump said. "We have to see Bill Gates and a lot of different people that really understand what's happening.

"We have to talk to them about, maybe in certain areas, closing that internet up in some ways. Somebody will say, 'Oh freedom of speech, freedom of speech.' These are foolish people."

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/us/Donald-Trump-wants-to-ban-the-internet-will-ask-Bill-Gates-to-close-it-up/articleshow/50093748.cms

Yes people who believe in freedom of speech are foolish. Lewis Black is right - Donald Trump really is a 3rd world dictator!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

So while campaigning in North Carolina, Donald Trump insulted who could arguably be his two biggest supporters on the internet:

Unfortunately that's not satire. And unfortunately this happened:

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2015/12/06/trump-treats-two-black-supporters-like-circus-performers-asks-them-to-do-a-little-routine-video/
It can easily be said that Donald Trump isn’t exactly the most friendly to any people other than white people who agree perfectly with his views. You can tell this by the ‘white power’ crowd that, literally, shows up to his events. You can also tell this by using your eyes and seeing who attends his rallies. It’s a who’s who of Racist White America. So, when Donald Trump found out about two female African-American supporters, he made sure they got some stage time at an event in North Carolina.

The two women, Lynette Hardaway and Rochelle Richardson, have a website called “Diamonds and Silk” and they are apparently very outspoken supporters of Donald Trump. The reason for this is still unknown. Well, at the rally, Trump introduces the duo as an “online sensation” and asked them to “do a little routine” up on stage in front of his almost all white crowd. They were apparently very happy to do so, not really realizing Trump was, quite literally, pointing and laughing at them, and treating them like circus performers....

He might as well have said, “look at how entertaining these gals are, folks! See, I have black supporters! I’m not racist in the slightest!” He used them as props for his campaign, and these ladies were, unfortunately, none the wiser.

Yes, that is Donald Trump gloating about how he has "black supporters". Ha ha ha ha ha! Racism is dead in America, don't you get it? And now there's an app that exists to block all Trump related news from your news feed! But don't block it yet because it will remove the Top 10 as well! We can't have that can we?

But It's not all doom and gloom for Dër Trumpenfeürher though. Even though he is bringing the crazy extra hard, don't forget that the Donald Trump butt plug exists and that would make a great last minute gift for the Trump supporter in your family. Also this happened:

Mayor Rick Kriseman bars Donald Trump from St. Petersburg
Tampa Bay Times, Bay Buzz, 12/7/15
St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman had a strong response to Donald Trump's proposal to prevent Muslims from entering the United States.

Mayor Kriseman tweeted Monday night, "I am hereby barring Donald Trump from entering St. Petersburg until we fully understand the dangerous threat posed by all Trumps."

http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/baybuzz/mayor-rick-kriseman-bars-donald-trump-from-st-petersburg/2256877

Mayor Kriseman is my new hero!

[font size="8"]Alex Jones[/font]

Ah Infowars. That site you go to when your favorite site just doesn't have enough batshit crazy conspiracy theories for you. Alex Jones, though, claims he's not a conspiracy theorist but he repeatedly makes claims that you need to filter out your water, because the government puts flouride in the water supply as a form of mind control. He even goes so far as to sell ridiculously expensive water filtration systems that retail for $200+, because... money. You can get the same results with a pan and a stove. Last week, Ted Nugent called the Alex Jones show to talk about how the Obama administration doesn't represent the views of the republican party. No fucking shit he doesn't! And that's a good thing because after living through the George W Bush administration twice, I've had all the GOP I can stand for the rest of my life! But back to Infowars - they're like Rush Limbaugh only they think every story that comes along in the news is someone who is literally coming to take your guns away. And perhaps some people should have their guns taken away. Like this guest Steve Pieczenik, who offered a theory that Obama staged the San Bernardino attacks, and that, oh he must be overthrown.

Conspiracy theorist radio host Alex Jones doubled down today on his claim that the San Bernardino shooting was a false flag attack, speaking with fellow conspiracy theorist Steve Pieczenik about why they believe the tragedy was an Obama administration plot to push gun control.

Pieczenik said it was “absolutely impossible” for shooter Tashfeen Malik to have carried out the attack, claiming that the attack, like the Sandy Hook school shooting, was staged in order to advance “gun control for Obama.”

Pieczenik went on to say that the shooting was designed to deflect attention from the controversy surrounding the delayed release of the Laquan McDonald shooting video, claiming that Obama takes orders from Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel.

“What we need to do is to initiate a referendum where we will ask the president to step down,” he said. “I do not want an assassination, what I want is a referendum where the people say we can no longer wait for a year, we do not want anyone else and we will want to nominate, by choice, Trump. Either we have the elections now or we don’t have the elections, we do not have one more year.”

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/san-bernardino-truthers-blame-obama-conspiracy-we-do-not-have-one-year-left-live-out-adminis

Really? Do you guys even read the news? How was this "absolutely impossible"? Let's not forget that Farook planned this as far back as 2013. And took out a $28,000 loan , and had planned a prior attack. This wasn't a mere incident, this guy knew what he was doing, so how is it "impossible", exactly? Excuse me a minute...

I don't know what these guys are smoking, but man it must be particularly strong and particularly shitty to warp your brain into believing something that batshit crazy. Did I mention these guys are completely batshit crazy?

[font size="8"]Michele Fiore[/font]

In Wednesday's edition, I introduced you to Michele Fiore (R-Smith & Wesson), a Nevada representative who treated us to her annual holiday Christmas card, which is her family holding a lot of fucking guns.

I particularly like that comment from Georgia Grivois, which reads "All I want for Christmas is #GunSenseLaws, and this is why! I've never seen such an example of inbreeding and ignorance in my life! You are despicable". And the "despicable" part doesn't end there. This week, the Nevada representative said this:

http://www.occupydemocrats.com/republican-threatens-refugees-ill-shoot-them-myself-to-end-their-miserable-lives/
The Nevada Republican who sent out a Christmas card featuring armed toddlers has put her proverbial foot in her mouth once again – this time in a much more offensive fashion. Michele Fiore, Assemblywoman of the Fourth District, when asked by a Las Vegas radio show about why she refused to sign a statement by Republicans opposing the resettlement of Syrian refugees, indicated it didn’t go far enough for her:

“What–are you kidding me? I’m about to fly to Paris and shoot ‘em in the head myself! I am not OK with Syrian refugees. I’m not OK with terrorists. I’m OK with putting them down, blacking them out, just put a piece of brass in their ocular cavity and end their miserable life. I’m good with that.”

Where to start with this outrageously offensive and dangerously delusional statement? The automatic equivocation of Syrian refugees and the terrorists that they are fleeing from is a very dangerous sign, not to mention her apparent willingness to commit extrajudicial murders without any evidence. The enthusiasm for said killings is also very upsetting. Despite being a mother herself, she shows no compassion or empathy for the families fleeing horrific violence and looking for safety and stability. It just goes to show how the virulent Islamophobic rhetoric that is circulating the right-wing echo chamber truly poisons minds and dictates atrocious narratives. If this is the kind of trash that the right-wing casually endorses, then they do not deserve a voice in the rational governance of a multicultural and multigendered nation.

Yes, she would literally shoot to kill all Syrian refugees, even those that live outside the United States. I have no words except for: What. The. Fuck.

[font size="8"]James Inhofe[/font]

Everyone's favorite climate-change denying senator James Inhofe (R-ExxonMobil) is back, just as Exxon posted some incredibly alarming environment news. Which is funny because Exxon is the direct cause of global warming and has destroyed just about everything in its' path to get their hands on that precious, precious oil. But this time around, Inhofe is provoking the religious anti environment nut jobs who might also be Trump supporters. So with that in mind, Inhofe here, provokes the crazy religious nutjobs:

Senator James Inhofe told a room of climate change deniers they’re “doing the Lord’s work.”The chairman of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee is best known for his insistence that global warming is a hoax, and he offered a pep talk on Monday to a group that hasn’t exactly seen things go its way of late.

“As COP21 continues this week, I look forward to hearing what kind of cover-up deal emerges from this international climate conference,” Inhofe said in a prerecorded message broadcast during an unofficial side event to the Paris climate conference. “And you guys here in this room, as you always have, just keep it up. Our progress would not have happened without you. You’re doing the Lord’s work, and we’re going to win this thing together.”

His seven-minute rant, which summarized every conservative argument you might hear against a global climate agreement, was part of the Paris counter-programming planned by a few prominent denier groups, including the oil-funded think tank Heartland Institute.

https://newrepublic.com/minutes/125206/senator-james-inhofe-told-room-climate-change-deniers-theyre-doing-lords-work

Yes, climate change deniers are doing the Lord's work. Sponsored by the Heartland Institute. And that's funny - I've read the Bible, and there's *ZERO* mention of the words "climate change" or "global warming" anywhere in that book! Meanwhile, Exxon released this incredibly alarming news, which Inhofe didn't read or have on his Google alert page:

It’s a Through-The-Looking-Glass world. The Washington Post reports Sunday that ExxonMobil has a far saner view of global warming than the national Republican party.

Fred Hiatt, the paper’s centrist editorial page editor, drops this bombshell: With no government action, Exxon experts told us during a visit to The Post last week, average temperatures are likely to rise by a catastrophic (my word, not theirs) 5 degrees Celsius, with rises of 6, 7 or even more quite possible.

This is indeed basic climate science.

Of course, thanks to excellent reporting by InsideClimate News, we now know ExxonMobil had been told by its own scientists in the 1970s and 1980s that climate change was human-caused and would reach catastrophic levels without reductions in carbon emissions. Yes, this is same ExxonMobil that then became the largest funder of disinformation on climate science and attacks on climate scientists until they were surpassed by the Koch Brothers in recent years — but that is a different (tragic) story.

http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2015/12/07/3728921/exxonmobil-warns-catastrophic-global-warming/

In short, we're fucked.

[font size="8"]Gun TV [/font]

In what could be one of the douchiest concepts to come along since Guy Fieri sang Limp Bizkit and Nickelback at karaoke that one night, a new channel is coming along that will eliminate the middle man and sell guns direct from the warehouse to the consumer. This is in incredibly poor taste considering the fact that, um, we had 3 mass shootings in 3 weeks!!! And all 3 are bonafied terror attacks!! What are these producers thinking??? How is this possibly going to attract an audience? Maybe Infowars fans? What the fuck?

For decades, Americans have had the leisurely option to purchase items from the comfort of their home after seeing them on television. Networks like QVC and the Home Shopping Network often display and discuss products like jewelry, home décor, and even kitchen odds and ends for at home customers to call in and buy.

However, this January, a new sort of home shopping channel with no sense of timing at all will launch in the United States: Gun TV.

Besides the firearms themselves, Gun TV will offer ammunition, clothing, and concealed-carry holsters, presented by gun experts onscreen. The network promises that anyone from ex-Olympic marksmen to former military sharpshooters will provide demonstrations.

All buyers need to do to order a weapon is keep an eye out for a gun that fits their price range, and then call the number on television (or order online, which is another dangerously easy option). The gun or other items will then be shipped from the wholesale retailer to the buyer's closest federally licensed gun seller. A mandatory background check into the customer's criminal and mental health records will need to be completed (you can learn more about that here) before the customer can take home the firearm.

http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Gun-TV-a-home-shopping-network-for-guns-is-6673214.php

Just.... Ah fuck it, let Donald Trump run the country. If this makes it to air, we're doomed anyways.

[font size="8"]University Of Texas Republicans[/font]

Well, gee thanks University Of Texas. I had another, much funnier entry that I was going to reserve for this spot, but oh well. You forced me to move what I originally had planned to the Christmas edition. But this is something that is so low, so poor taste, that I cannot accurately describe how I feel about this event, because my words would be, as Neidermayer from Animal House would say "so profound and disgusting that the decorum prohibits me from listing them here.". So with that in mind I'll let Bill Maher say how I feel (can't embed because HBO took the original video down) :

http://crooksandliars.com/cltv/2014/06/bill-maher-slams-nitwits-open-carry

OK I feel better. But what are they planning to do? Something that is incredibly low and very poorly timed:

Multiple gun rights groups will be joining together this weekend for a mock mass shooting on the University of Texas campus, an event complete with cardboard guns, crisis actors, and fake blood. Now, what could this possibly accomplish?, a reasonable person might be wondering. But as one of the protestors told Statesman.com: “We love freedom, and we’re trying to make more freedom.”
The “crisis performance event” itself will involve actors being “shot” with mock guns, just over a week after the San Bernardino mass shooting took 14 individual lives. From Statesman.com:
“It’s a fake mass shooting, and we’ll use fake blood,” he said. He said gun noises will be blared from bullhorns. Other people will then play the role of rescuers, also armed with cardboard weapons.
... Asked if he was worried the demonstration, which will be preceded by a walk through Austin with loaded weapons might appear in bad taste following the mass shootings in San Bernardino and Paris, Short said: “Not at all. People were able to be murdered people because no one was armed.”
Fortunately, weapons are currently banned from UT’s campus, or else someone probably would get shot this weekend. That might not be the case for long, however. On August 1, Texas’ new “campus carry” law goes into effect, which will allow concealed handguns in classrooms, dorms, and “other buildings” at both public and private colleges.
http://gawker.com/gun-rights-groups-to-hold-fake-mass-shooting-at-ut-this-1747134121

And I thought that GunTV was a new low for the gun nuts. This just.............. AHHH!!!! I can't believe that the campus is allowing them to go through with this! Ahh!! These heartless assholes only care about their guns and nothing else. They want to be able to bring their precious on campus and... I just can't... I want to... ah... THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS PEOPLE!!!

[font size="8"]Danny Kanell[/font]

While I will never use the Top 10 for plugs of any kind, there's a movie coming out on Christmas that, as any good democrat or football fan, you owe it to yourself to watch. It's called Concussion. The movie details the life of Dr. Bennett Omalu (Will Smith), the man who uncovered the horrifying truth about football, the disease of concussion, and the league's efforts to cover it up. But there's one guy who won't be having any of it. Enter Danny Kannell, who posted this about a recent NY Times Op Ed about the dangers of football.

The New York Times published an editorial on Monday that questioned whether parents should allow kids to play football, given increased awareness about the long-term dangers the sport may pose to the brain.
To former NFL quarterback Danny Kanell, who now works as an analyst for ESPN, that editorial represents an effort by the "liberal media" to wage a "war on football."
The author of the editorial, however, was not a member of the so-called "liberal media," but rather Dr. Bennet Omalu, the forensic pathologist who first discovered the degenerative brain known as disease chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE, in the brain of former NFL star Mike Webster.
Omalu, the subject of the upcoming movie "Concussion" starring Will Smith, has continued studying CTE -- as have other researchers, like those at Boston University who have found the disease in the brains of 87 of the 91 deceased former NFL players they have studied. There are important caveats about sample size and selection in that research, as the scientists themselves have warned, but it has helped paint a clearer picture about the risks that football may pose.
Further studies have highlighted the potential risk of repeated hits to the head to young players or those who began playing football at younger ages. Increased attention to the number of high school students killed while playing football, which has remained constant for 35 years, has raised further questions, too.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/danny-kanell-liberal-media-war-on-football_5666f604e4b079b281900679?ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067

Don't worry, Danny. There is no war on football - the NFL has been enjoying profits the likes of which have never been seen before!

[font size="8"]Martin Shkreli [/font]

Finally, after another incredibly frustrating week of conservative lunacy, it will be nice to end it on a positive note, won't it? Because for a weekend edition to leave it on a negative note, what kind of host would that make me? Not a very good one if you ask me! You remember "Pharma Bro" Martin Shkreli right? The man who became the most hated man in America , and arguably, the world by buying the rights to life saving drug Darapin, which originally retailed for $13.50 a pill, and started charging $750 for it. Now he's back in the news. You might remember when the Wu Tang Clan announced that its' new album Once Upon A Time In Shaolin was going to be pressed in a one off, single pressing that was going be sold for a couple of million, right? And what do these two things have in common, you might ask? This week it was revealed that Pharma-Douche Martin Shkreli is the buyer, who bought the only copy of the album for $2 million of his ill gotten gains. Well, thank every God you can name for the Wu Tang Clan, because Wu Tang won't have any of it, as the Seattle PI reports:

The Wu-Tang Clan are donating proceeds from the sale of their one-off album “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin” to charity after the buyer was unveiled as a controversial tycoon Martin Shkreli.
Last month it emerged the hip-hop stars had agreed a deal to sell off the only copy of the record for an “undisclosed figure in the millions.”
The identity of the buyer was kept private at the time of the sale, which was agreed earlier in the year, but he has now been identified as Shkreli, a pharmaceutical entrepreneur who was widely condemned for raising the price of AIDS medication from $13.50 to $750 per pill.
Wu-Tang Clan member RZA has now confirmed the rappers agreed to donate a portion of the sale to a good cause after the revelations about the buyer came to light.
“The sale of ‘Once Upon a Time in Shaolin’ was agreed upon in May, well before Martin Skhreli’s business practices came to light,” RZA writes in an email to Bloomberg Businessweek magazine. “We decided to give a significant portion of the proceeds to charity.”
http://blog.seattlepi.com/people/2015/12/09/wu-tang-clan-donate-album-sale-money-to-charity-after-discovering-buyers-identity/

But oh my fair DUers of all races, genders, and orientations, it gets better. So much better. The Independent explains a very interesting clause in their contract:

This Once Upon A Time In Shaolin story is only getting weirder.
First we learned that the single copy of the Wu-Tang Clan album was bought by a pharmaceuticals CEO once described as “the most hated man in America” (reportedly for $2 million), then the buyer - Martin Shkreli - started a YouTube live stream, teasing that he might play the album for viewers, and now we learn of an amazing stipulation in the album’s contract.
According to Twitter user Rob Wesley, who might have invented the clause, though a lot of people on Twitter are taking it to be real, it states:
‘The buying party also agrees that at any time during the stipulated 88 year period, the seller may legally plan and attempt to execute one (1) heist or caper to steal back Once Upon A Time In Shaolin, which, if successful, would return all ownership rights to the seller.’
Then comes the best bit:
‘Said heist or caper can only be undertaken by currently active members of the Wu-Tang Clan and/or actor Bill Murray, with no legal repercussions.’
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/that-wu-tang-clan-martin-shkreli-2m-album-deal-has-an-amazing-caveat-a6767546.html

Yes, the Wu Tang Clan has a clause in the sale contract that says that they - and / or Bill Murray can steal back the copy of their album by pulling off a heist. This is the greatest thing I've ever heard of. Wu Tang Clan just became my favorite group for this. Wu Tang Clan ain't nuthin to fuck with! Wu Tang Clan ain't nuthin to fuck with! Wu Tang Clan ain't nuthin to fuck with!

See you next week!

Ed. Note: Starting with next Wednesday's edition, I will be posting the TTCI in the Good Reads section so it can hopefully stay near the top for a while. Stay tuned!