Official Vanilla ISIS Haiku thread

[ashling]

I'll start:

Stalwart Patriot standing guard under tarp
But cows scatter
“fuck this shit!”

[safeinOhio]

1. Tarpsexuals.

Pretty strange.

[applegrove]

2. Here's mine:

Covetous of ISIS onslaught, mericans fancy
Cattle-phate steps up
And in it

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

3. Here's mine

We like Doritos,
An organized militia,
Could use tasty snacks.

[ashling]

4. Multiple use

Sent old dirty socks
No snacks, but
they are kind of crunchy

[SwankyXomb]

5. One in the classical 5/7/5 form

Winter nears its peak
White militia must have snacks
Is it not terror?

[KamaAina]

6. Did you bring the snacks?

I thought you brought the snacks, Joe.
Who brought the damn snacks?!

Note: True haiku is supposed to be associated with one of the four seasons; all other 5-7-5 verse is senryu. But Vanilla ISIS is associated with winter, so I think we're good.

[KamaAina]

7. On and on this drags

Someone drank all our money
This is for the birds.

[Whiskeytide]

8. I think they're probably Nantucket guys ...

There once was a rancher in blue
A tarp of extraordinary hue
He looked in his sack
Found it wanting of snack
And cried "Obama took my jerky,too".