Someone here on DU did it - fess up - Stolen bull Semen

[packman]

Last edited Thu Jan 28, 2016, 07:18 PM - Edit history (1)

"Bullshit may not be worth much, but bull semen is another story.

Fifty thousand dollars worth of bull semen was stolen out of a truck in Turlock, California, late Sunday night, according to KOVR.
That's right. Bull semen"



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/who-knew-bull-semen-was-worth-so-much_us_56a9185ae4b0f7179928c8e0


LET THE PUNS FLY ---- Key words - "udder", "That's a lot of ...", "Horny", etc.

[Android3.14]

1. Someone needs to come clean

[Wounded Bear]

2. Well, that sucks....nt

[safeinOhio]

3. Jacking off bulls in the noon day sun

doda doda
This aint work
It's really fun
doda doda



sorry

[yellowcanine]

4. Not very funny for the owner.

Bull semen is needed to improve and maintain the genetics of a cattle herd. It is a big business.

[Kaleva]

13. And it's dangerous work giving a bull a hand job

[CTyankee]

27. Isn't it called "bull shot"?

[Agschmid]

5. 1-6 Leave...

Oh boy.

[Goblinmonger]

6. Jury's in

FWIW, I was #1

On Thu Jan 28, 2016, 10:52 AM an alert was sent on the following post:

Someone here on DU did it - fess up - Stolen bull Seman
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027568550

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

Disgusting post and presentation A new DU low has been reached. Please hide this juvenile attempt at humor

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Thu Jan 28, 2016, 10:55 AM, and the Jury voted 1-6 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Oh, please.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Move it to the Lounge, where a new low has been reached every day since 2001.
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Meh...
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No. DUzy of an alert. What an udder abuse of our DU jury system.

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

[Agschmid]

7. #7 Here.

[Goblinmonger]

8. Nice pun

[FSogol]

10. DUzy!

[Major Nikon]

23. At least the alert sputtered out

[11 Bravo]

24. Pinboy3niner, fess up! You HAD to be juror #7!

[malaise]

25. That was brilliant

[Aerows]

28. Good grief.

Whose sensibilities were offended by this particular post? It's a business. Take your ball and go home if you don't like it.

[LiberalElite]

33. re: #4 -I think it was posted

in the Lounge before GD.

[FSogol]

9. As Conan O'Brien said, "someone's gonna have one hell of a Super Bowl party!" n/t

[Nac Mac Feegle]

11. Wellllll....

Despite the obvious potential for jokes ranging from 'funny' to 'gross' to 'offensive', you sort of have to look at it as a type of high-tech cattle rustling. A proven bloodline of known highly desirable traits is actually pretty valuable.

[LiberalElite]

35. That's it! -

"A proven bloodline of known highly desirable traits is actually pretty valuable." The Republicans did it!

[TexasProgresive]

12. Genetics from top bulls is extremely valuable.

3,500 straws of semen could be worth more than the $50K depending upon which bulls were represented. Artificial insemination is nearly the only way dairy cows are inseminated and is very common in the beef industry.

I know most here think this is funny, but the humor comes from ignorance. Theft is theft. Someone will be offering some high dollar semen at bargain basement prices. Every straw has the ID of the bull collected so the buyers can register the offspring as being of that bull. The ID won't be much help in identifying the thief because usually there will be lots of straws that were sold to many breeders.

[KittyWampus]

15. Without paperwork, how can you re-sell the semen? With horses, it all needs to be traceable.

And if it is traceable the thief gets caught or his buyer does.

[TexasProgresive]

20. Horses are a whole nother process

The breed associations are very strict about breading. With food and dairy animals all the info is printed on the semen straw. 1,000s of people could have semen from one bull. This is not the case in the equine world.

[dembotoz]

16. so they can make babies without sex???? sounds like a gop fundy plot to me

[TexasProgresive]

21. Before AI dairy bulls were the #1 cause of all farmers' deaths in the state of Wisconsin.

That's all farmers not just dairy farmers. A dairy bull may be the most dangerous domesticated beast on earth. With AI the bulls are keep isolated from the cows. My guess is the collection is done in a squeeze chute using an electroejaculation device.

If you consume dairy products this is a part of the production cycle- no calves no milk.

I wish most people knew where and how their food comes to the table.

[CTyankee]

29. The idea that they have a bull that provides cow insemination is so old and out of date...

Bulls can harm the cows in the act of mating and as you say be very dangerous. Same with horses and mares. It is too rough on the mares to conceive in the "natural" way...

My understanding is that they ejaculate the bulls some way and then inject the cows with the bull ejaculate. I thought everybody knew that...

[ebayfool]

37. Yup. Son-in-law is a dairyman.

With the armpit length gloves to prove it!

Local vet trades his services to the dairy in exchange for his - ahem - aid in inseminating other dairies cows. I guess that means he is very good at it.

But lordy, can you imagine how to put that on a resume?

[jmowreader]

38. Well, that's one way to do it...

http://arbl.cvmbs.colostate.edu/hbooks/pathphys/reprod/semeneval/bull.html

Also for your entertainment...

http://arbl.cvmbs.colostate.edu/hbooks/pathphys/reprod/semeneval/collection.html

Prerequisites to use of an (artificial vagina) are that the male be conscious, not significantly frightened of people, and more interested in ejaculating than in killing humans.

[KamaAina]

14. I have a friend who has family in Turlock

She doesn't strike me as the type, though.

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

17. What's this world coming to?

[randome]

18. I blame the Bundys. Anarchy and all, you know.

"Bull semen belongs to the people!"
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Stop looking for heroes. BE one.[/center][/font][hr]

[Katashi_itto]

19. Makes great coffee creamer.

[jmowreader]

39. Naah dude, it doesn't come in French vanilla

[Katashi_itto]

40. :)

[Duppers]

22. K & R for thread hilarity.

[11 Bravo]

26. Bristol Palin's next sonogram could be really interesting.

[Heeeeers Johnny]

30. 'Does this yogurt taste like it's expired to you'?

"The loss of all those units of semen and probably taken by someone who had no idea what they were stealing is very frustrating."

&index=7&list=RDIGFvcAM-nEg

[Quantess]

31. Is that really the bull's photo?

He looks shy, or at least, he does not want paparazzi following him around with cameras.

[pinboy3niner]

32. The paparazzi play a high steaks game. nt

[NutmegYankee]

34. Maybe he has a beef with the press?

[Initech]

36. How do they determine how much bull semen is worth?

[jmowreader]

42. By examining the performance of the cattle a bull has sired

If you're a dairy farmer, you want cattle that consistently produce large quantities of milk. Beef farmers want fast weight gain. Semen from bulls that consistently produce these kind of offspring, sell for more money than semen from bulls that don't.

[flamingdem]

41. Ahh, don't cry over spilt semen

n/t