Secret Republican blueprint for stopping Donald Trump revealed

[malaise]

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/mar/19/republican-plan-stop-donald-trump-election
<snip>

Over the last six months, GOP leaders have watched helpless as the Republican presidential race has transformed from the usual loveable farce into a terrifying prequel to Mad Max: Fury Road as tangerine reality show host Donald Trump gained, attained and retained frontrunner status. With only a few months left before the Republican National Convention, party luminaries, bigwigs and eminences grises have come up with a secret blueprint for how to stop the New York business mogul from becoming their candidate. Exclusive to the Guardian, here is their 10-point plan:

Change the Republican party rules so that all presidential candidates must disclose the length of their fingers prior to receiving the nomination. Trump will drop out of the race by the end of the day.
Leave a trail of spray tan canisters and ground beef leading from the door of his penthouse to a barge about to set off for the Far East.
Lure him into a space shuttle by telling him there’s a photograph of his daughter Ivanka in a bikini onboard and then blast him into orbit.
Attach a $5 bill to a greased pig’s back and set it loose backstage before his next campaign stop. He’ll chase that thing until he’s out of breath, and miss the speech, which, due to his inhumanly hectic campaign schedule will have the cumulative knock-on effect of making him miss the next day’s speech, then the next morning’s chummy appearance by telephone with his pals on Morning Joe, then the next four primaries, and before you know it he’s missed the convention and is safely back to being an appalling but harmless reality TV star.

More at link

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Oh if only ONE of those would work, my dear malaise!

We could all breathe easier.

[malaise]

2. Hi there CaliforniaPeggy

The last two are pretty good as well

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. They ARE!

[Trajan]

4. Secret Republican blueprint for stopping Donald Trump revealed

[malaise]

8. ROFL - if only it were that easy

[Octafish]

5. LOL! Chase the $5 pig!

Which is precisely what they do now.

Thank you, malaise! I don't look like that fat uncle Dracula, other than the overbite and fangs.

[malaise]

6. They're all chasing it

including establishment ReTHUGs and the corporate media

Power -by any means necessary

[napkinz]

7. the Republicans trying to stop Trump are like Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines ...

[malaise]

9. Hilarious

[napkinz]

11. :)

[awoke_in_2003]

10. Here is a plan that should be easy for them to do...

plant people everywhere he goes to call him short fingered. Yes, it is stupid that it set him off, but it does. It is his button, and they should just keep pressing it.

[louis-t]

13. Or, plant apologists everywhere saying

"It's not that your fingers are so short, you just have an unusually large head!"

[malaise]

14. He'd have his goons beat them up

Trust me

[awoke_in_2003]

16. The GOP has a lot of cash...

maybe they could bribe the sound men at these event to play a short clip. Then have the plant feign ignorance, and plant fake videos claiming to be Anonymous saying they had hacked the sound board (might as well make Anonymous useful for something, if only to be a patsy). They could put plants in the remaining freak shows, I mean debates- they are a much more controlled affair. They wouldn't have to do it often before he finally loses it. Hell, get Fox involved and have them bring up his short fingers whenever they talk about him. Fox doesn't like Trump, other than the fact that he brings them ratings. And an imploding Trump would bring good ratings. Should a news organization do such a thing? Of course not, but Fox isn't a news organization.

[malaise]

17. Hehehehehhe

Don't you wonder if these are rallies or the Drumpf 'show'. He actually slipped and called them a show.
I remember that his campaign launch had paid performers - is it all an act to whip up hatred???

[awoke_in_2003]

18. I am thinking of the Jackass guy on Happy Gilmore

[malaise]

19. ROFL

That was a hilarious movie

[awoke_in_2003]

22. I have to admit...

that I enjoyed early Sandler movies. Oh, and every Will Ferrell movie except Anchorman2 (I guess I expected more due to the original). Yeah, it is kind of low brow, but I really enjoy Ferrell's delivery.

[malaise]

23. The early ones - yes

[rhett o rick]

12. Use a leaf blower to detach his wig and then hide it. nm

[malaise]

15. Hehehehehhe

I bet he sleeps with it and has more than one

[Lazy Daisy]

20. Do they need donations

for the spray tan cans? I've got a couple bucks to send to this worthy cause.

[malaise]

21. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaah

hahahahha

[etherealtruth]

24. The onlyproblem I have is #10

10. Change election procedure so that the remaining delegates must pledge their support to whichever nominee scores highest on a seventh grade vocabulary test. Unfortunately this will probably give the edge to college debate champ Ted Cruz, an opportunistic, bigoted liar whose vision for America is a theocracy engaged in an apocalyptic war against Islam run by a man who looks like Dracula’s fat cousin smugly eating a sour candy he received as a prize for tattling. But you can’t have everything.

I think I actually hate Cruz more than Trump

[spanone]

25. Bwahahahahahaaaa.....tangerine reality show host

[malaise]

26. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaah hahahahhah

Too freaking good

[billhicks76]

27. Why Didn't Someone Take Out Hitler

Seems like a no-brainier. People ask this question often. Maybe he had divine protection from Satan.

[jtuck004]

29. Because he brought an economic miracle to a nation with its head down and in poverty.

He brought them prosperity and purpose. So he had the protection of most of the nation, until someone from outside defeated them.

[jtuck004]

28. Just put up a sign. "Your Fingers Must Be This Long To Ride This Ride" n/t

[spooky3]

30. Option #9 stands out from the others.

But in today's GOP, the others are more likely to happen.