I, Cthulhu, endorse Donald Trump

[KamaAina]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2016/03/22/i-cthulhu-endorse-donald-trump/

And that is why I whisper into the minds of all who will heed: Cthulhu endorses Donald Trump....

Like the obsidian vaults of my drowned Cyclopean city, his positions are blurred and fuzzy. Like me, he is not bound by the rules of reality. Like me, he obeys no mortal physics, changing shape and angle, acute one moment and obtuse the next....

I, too, detest the media. Why must everyone who writes about me be so unremittingly negative and mean and plain unfair, calling me “eldritch horror” or “Nug”? Please, Nug is my ageless sexless timeless parent! “Eldritch Horror” makes me sound old. I know that’s not what the word means, but that’s not the point. Cthulhu is not old. Cthulhu exists beyond time. Cthulhu is deathless. Cthulhu’s cephalopod-face is great. Cthulhu has the best brain. Cthulhu has the most splendid tentacles....

And we don’t win anymore. Specifically, Cthulhu doesn’t win anymore. Eldritch creatures capable of reducing the whole world to insensate horror no longer run rampant from continent to continent. It’s sad. We Elder Gods don’t win. We are asleep on the job, literally.

[Hekate]

1. That's brilliant. Like speaks to like.

[LongTomH]

2. Untrue!!!! The Cthulhu campaign is still......undead!!!!

I, Cthulhu, do not endorse Donald Trump:

KINGSPORT, MASSACHUSETTS – The Cthulhu campaign was surprised to learn this morning that they had exited the race for the presidency and endorsed micro-fingered mogul Donald Trump.

The Washington Post’s hit job came in the form of an article titled, “I, Cthulhu, endorse Donald Trump.” A work full of half-truths, heresies and most of all the slanderous lie that Dread Lord Cthulhu had endorsed Trump – presumably over his tepid, toned-down interview on CNN last night.

“Last week the Hillary campaign pushed a meme that we had quit the race. Today the Washington Post publishes a pro-Trump hit on us. Clearly the lesser evils on both sides are afraid that our campaign will permanently change the world,” explained Cthulhu press secretary Samir al-Azrad.

Taking a break from campaigning in Tennessee, Cthulhu released a foreboding message: “America is tired of half-measures and half-truths. America is ready to embrace the glorious rending of their fragile reality.”

“We have noted the lies propagated by the Washington Post and they have been marked. No one will stop us.”

I'm afraid, the young lady who wrote the Washington Post article will find that, like the Clintons, Lord Cthulhu does not forgive!

Campaign manager Eminence Waite was particularly outraged at the hit piece and made several calls to her Bilderberg contacts regarding the futures of those involved.

[KamaAina]

3. Kingsport, Mass.?

Is that anywhere near Arkham?

[jpak]

4. Nearer to Innsmouth

yup