The Case For And Against Zoos

[geardaddy]

http://www.theonion.com/graphic/case-and-against-zoos-53019

The killing of a rare gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo to protect a child who climbed into its enclosure has reignited debate over whether wild animals should be kept in captivity. Here is the case for and against zoos:

FOR
•Provides children an up-close, potentially life-changing encounter with major depressive disorder

•Just a few hours at a zoo can spark a visitor’s lifelong fascination with Plexiglas

•Already visited art museum last time parents were in town

•Keeps snakes surrounded by walls

•Cost of plush octopus at gift shop singlehandedly keeping local economy afloat

•Ensures that baby rhinos continue to be named democratically

•Dwindling populations of North American Dippin’ Dots vendors must be protected


AGAINST

•Habitats fail to adequately mimic devastated environmental conditions animals experience in wild

•Condones continued existence of caricature artists

•Fucking peacocks everywhere

•Probably for the best to have one fewer place where it acceptable to consume funnel cake

•Surface around gorilla enclosures apparently very, very slippery

•Despite repeated petitioning, tram driver refuses to open this baby up and see how fast it can fly

•Could spread misleading idea that nonhuman creatures worthy of protection

[Warpy]

1. The local zoo has been pretty good at breeding endangered big cats

The habitat isn't bad but there needs to be more of it, especially for the cheetahs. There is just no room to run.

Another thing zoos have in their favor: nobody trophy hunts in them. Even Trump's worthless spawn wouldn't be allowed in with guns.

[yeoman6987]

2. Just the chance for the poor kids to see the animals is worth it

The rich go on safari and see them live. The middle class might get to as well and if not they have a chance to see them at the zoo. Closing zoos just hurt the poor.