Support Group turned into a Trump fan club

[Jerry442]

I think that many DU members are dealing with situations like this and I'd welcome any words of advice and wisdom.

I'm in a widows/widowers support group that I joined in 2012 a few months after my wife passed away in late 2011. I've always been aware that many members of the group are older than I am (I'm 65) and generally came of age in the 1950's and early 1960's whereas I graduated high school in 1969 at the height of the Viet Nam war. I've also always been aware that many members of the group are much more well-to-do than I am. This means that a majority of the group tend to be conservative while I'm a liberal. You know, a tree-hugger, a peacenik, a DFH.

Up til now, the group leader has kept a steady hand on the wheel, always steering the discussion away from politics (and religion, too) and kept the discussion focused on coping and recovery and rebuilding.

Until tonight. Something went dreadfully wrong and a full-throated Trump love-in happened. One member, younger than I, left early for personal reasons, and never knew about the discussions. In the meanwhile, I and another member sat quietly while there was a 20-Minute-Hate for Hillary and a Trump lovefest. I didn't join in the discussion nor did my neighbor. I don't know her well and I have no idea what she was thinking, but I sat there in a state of shock and horror and sadness that the people I had confided in were expressing frank admiration for...well...no pejorative term says it as eloquently as “Trump”.

I never wanted to be like Billy Joel's angry young man, stalking away enraged from every relationship because of some picayune political disagreement. I always thought that friends could disagree without being disagreeable. But, I'm stuck here. You cannot support that man without sharing his worldview somewhat and if you share his world view, you're a Fascist, just like he is.

I can't go back now, not ever. I had felt that I was getting on with my life and needed the group very little these days and was moving toward being a “graduate” but I certainly never wanted it to end this way.

It's all just depressing as Hell.

[gratuitous]

1. Whether you leave or go back

Be sure to let the group leader know that you're upset and why.

[Warpy]

2. Exactly, group therapy for whatever reason should never get that far off track.

My advice is to go back, arrive early, tell the group leader it's the last visit and why, and leave early.

You can't fix stupid and those old coots are entitled to their wrongheaded opinions. However, the fault is with the group leader and she needs to know about it.

[Jerry442]

3. A clarification:

It's a support group mostly focused on peer support. The leader is not a therapist, but has a really good track record on directing people toward actual therapy if there's any possibility that it's needed.

I have no idea why the policy on avoiding contentious political and religious discussions suddenly came unraveled.

[Warpy]

5. Maybe they'd all just seen a speech and couldn't hold the stupidity in

but still, anyone who leads group therapy should be able to get it back on track.

Hell, I led a group at a mental hospital when I was a teenager and never let them get into sports, religion or politics.

[Jerry442]

7. LOL. I didn't know sports could be a minefield too. NT

[Warpy]

9. Oh, yeah, once the conversation turns to sports

the blowhards start to blow really hard.

[madaboutharry]

4. Dear Jerry442

I am sorry this happened to you. If it were me, I would never go back either; I would not be able to trust those people again. Maybe you could find another support group. You could call the social worker or someone like that at your local hospital for referrals. I know it might be hard to start over with new people, but it sounds like you feel you still want that support.

[Skittles]

6. don't ever stay silent

SPEAK UP against what Trump stands for

[ProfessorGAC]

8. Happened To Me Several Years Ago

In an MS chat room. Suddenly, the place turned into a Silverspoon lovefest and how democrats were soft on terrorism.

I never went back

[Catherine Vincent]

10. I would blame the group leader

I take it the leader just sat there silent or joined in with the others? S/he was wrong for that and you should let them know that. Because you know if it were the other way around, an R supporter would have said something.