Citizen Shoots Up DC Pizza Place To Investigate Hillary Clintons Child Sex Ring, As One Does.
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Citizen Shoots Up DC Pizza Place To Investigate Hillary Clinton’s Child Sex Ring, As One Does.
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Facepalm safely, everyone.
The Internet Idiot ConspiracySphere and real life collided Sunday, this time resulting in actual gunfire, but happily no injuries or loss of life. Seems a heavily armed North Carolina gentleman, Edgar Maddison Welch, just had to find out for himself whether there was any truth to fake internet stories about a child sex ring being run by Hillary Clinton, John Podesta, and several thousand others, all operating out of a Washington DC pizza place, Comet Ping Pong. So he did the logically natural thing: He drove to DC, went into the restaurant with two guns, pointed a gun at an employee, fired at least one shot into the floor, and after employees and customers fled, commenced to “investigate” whether there was any pedophile slave ring evidence to be found in the restaurant. You know, like the network of tunnels and sex dungeons under the restaurant that a bunch of Trumpers, with an assist from Wikileaks, said was definitely there. You really can’t blame the guy. He read it on the internet, after all.
Welch was arrested without further incident after scaring the shit out of several blocks of northwest DC, after police had surrounded the restaurant for about 45 minutes. According to police reports, Welch was armed with an AR-15 variant semiautomatic rifle, and police also seized a shotgun and a .38 caliber handgun; one of those other weapons was found in Welch’s car, although it’s not clear which. Welch told police he’d gone to Comet Ping Pong to “self-investigate” the online fake news stories about the incredibly stupid conspiracy theory known as “#pizzagate,” the basics of which are summarized with remarkable patience by the BBC here. Despite the lack of any police investigation, identifiable victims, or physical evidence, a whole swath of the internet is absolutely certain there’s irrefutable proof that a pedophile ring run by Hillary Clinton and John Podesta has been running out of the popular family pizza restaurant. Why? Because Wikileaks published some emails by Podesta mentioning pizza, the restaurant, and its owner, James Alefantis. Obviously, a high-powered Democratic operative like Podesta would never simply hold fundraisers at a pizza restaurant or be in contact with its owner, who’s a big supporter of the Democratic party, so it all added up to one completely obvious conclusion: every mention of “pizza” in the Podesta emails was code for child molestation and trafficking. There’s even this irrefutable proof: some idiot posted a list of “well-known pedophile code words” on Twitter:
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It's just obvious when you think about it.
. . . .
WaPo notes in an updated version of its report on Welch’s arrest, “On Sunday, Washington Post reporters involved in this article were the target of online threats shortly after it posted.” You know, because they’re clearly covering up for Clinton, Podesta, and their sex ring, and what kind of monsters would help cover THAT up? The Post also notes that several nearby businesses have been threatened as well, because if they’re on the same block, obviously they’re connected to the nonexistent network of pedophile torture dungeon tunnels extending from Comet Ping Pong:
Matt Carr, the owner of the Little Red Fox market and coffee shop, said his business started getting threats last weekend. They got 30 to 40 calls before they stopped answering calls from blocked numbers, he said. “One person said he wanted to line us up in front of a firing squad,” said Carr, who spent more than an hour in lockdown with his employees Sunday.
. . . .
Yup. The armed “citizen investigator,” driven by “citizen investigations” of a nonexistent sex scandal to go and wave a gun around and fire a shot into the floor of a pizza place, is definitely going to muddy the water for further “citizen investigators” — who’ll probably decide they need to amp up the firepower next time, so they can get to the REAL truth. Here’s a photo of Mr. Welch, who looks like a qualified citizen investigator, all right.
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As somebody said on Twitter, at least now we can be certain: the fake stories about crimes at the pizzeria have now led to a real crime at the pizzeria.
Read more at http://wonkette.com/609076/citizen-shoots-up-dc-pizza-place-to-investigate-hillary-clintons-child-sex-ring-as-one-does#PQi2PBSQT8QM1ykk.99
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I ran into a friend in the grocery store. We have been friends since our kids were babies, thirty-seven years. I have not seen her since phone-banking.
We looked each other, both burst into tears and loud sobs. I don't care who saw.
I'm almost done crying. I am not through fighting, not now, not ever. Even after I die, my money can go to the SPLC, so they can continue to fight in my name.
Cry all you want. Trump supporters, whether they will admit it or not, will be crying, too.
some time.
OMFG
Just sayin'. 
