The movie Idiocracy has literally come to pass.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

We now will likely have a cabinet member who can actually say he was "brought to you by Carl's Jr." (0:39 in clip).

[Afromania]

1. Coal

it has electrolytes and stuff, it's what the country craves.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

2. Considering that the dystopian vision of Carl's Jr. is a malfunctioning automated service machine

Which is in fact what the future Secretary of "Labor" wants:

http://fortune.com/2016/03/17/automate-fast-food/

[sarcasmo]

3. Legally changing my name to, Not Sure.

[trof]

4. I want the Brawndo franchise.

IT'S THE THIRST MUTILATOR
IT'S GOT ELECTROLYTES

[Taitertots]

5. Idiocracy is a movie about genetic intelligence

You're saying that the people with children are genetically inferior to the people who don't have kids. Because that's the plot of ideocracy.

[HughBeaumont]

6. The movie's not about the first five minutes.

It's a satirical take on a possible end-game of zero-sum hypercorporatism (and the hyperconsumerism that's forced to fuel it) run rampant, destined to happen no matter how smart or dumb the population is. It hardly pines for eugenics.

If what you say is true, explain Trump.