Band List For Trump's Inaugural Ball Gets Posted People Are Laughing So Hard They Can't Breathe

[babylonsister]

http://www.ifyouonlynews.com/humor/band-list-for-trumps-inaugural-ball-gets-posted-people-are-laughing-so-hard-they-cant-breathe/

Band List For Trump’s Inaugural Ball Gets Posted – People Are Laughing So Hard They Can’t Breathe


Trump has reportedly fired several of the people in charge of finding him “A-list” talent to perform at his inauguration after they failed to deliver even a single viable star and the transition team is now in “panic” mode.

And despite his feigned indifference, Trump himself is said to be freaking out over his inability to get celebrities to come. In Hollywood, it’s been a rare unified front. Not a single star has agreed to show up, despite Trump’s team even floating financial offers (unheard of) or ambassadorships (possibly illegal) to sweeten the deals.

“If anyone does do it, I hope that the check that they get is in the nine figures. Because it’s probably the last check they’re ever going to get,” Dixie Chicks manager Simon Renshaw told TheWrap on Friday.

But one event that is already booked – with hilarious results – is the “All American Inaugural Ball” held the night before the official inauguration in honor of Trump. The hacky photoshop job created to advertise the event shows just what kind of quality attendees should expect for their $250 tickets.

snip//

The event itself promises to be even worse than the poster. It’s a who’s who of “Who?” As music website Consequence of Sound points out, the list of performers is absolutely bonkers.

…they’ve got Nashville singer-songwriter Beau Davidson, who will be performing music from his latest album, The American Gentleman; The Reagan Years, “one of the HOTTEST ’80s cover bands” who only perform music released during Ronald Regan’s presidency; and a wedding band called The Mixx; plus DJ sets by DJ Romin, DJ Young Rye, DJ Flow, and — my personal fav — DJ Freedom. The Star Spangled Singers will also take the stage to serenade party-goers with “uplifting, patriotic songs and instrumentals.”

DJ Freedom? The Star Spangled Singers? An 80s cover band called The Reagan Years. What on earth is happening?

Trump only gets the best people.

[1965Comet]

1. I hear DJ Freedom used to be named "DJ French"...

[11 Bravo]

87. Nicely played! (And welcome to DU)

[niyad]

93. welcome to du

[The Polack MSgt]

121. +1 damn thousand

nice.

Welcome to DU and I want to say that the 65 Comet was a damn fine car

[calimary]

124. Welcome to DU, 1965Comet!

That's hilarious!!!

Yeah, you betcha! He gets the best people! Gee, not even anybody from "Celebrity Apprentice"? Maybe Omarosa can sing and play tambourine or something...

[sarcasmo]

2. Cha-Chi doing a reading from the good book.

[Maru Kitteh]

4. Yo todays homily is entitled "Bitches get over it" and shaad-up in the church over there

like Gaad told yas to. A'right?

[Runningdawg]

3. I guess Ted couldn't get a security clearence

[Mr. Evil]

65. Comrade Trumpenfuhrer is afraid

that Ted will rape Ivanka and sodomize Tiffany.

[alfredo]

72. She's of legal age, too old for Tedophile draft dodger.

[lastlib]

86. nah, he just doesn't like...

...the p****-grabbing competition......

Sorry, Sh*ttypants!

[George II]

115. He's saving them for himself!

[MineralMan]

5. Presenting The Reagan Years Band

[MadamPresident]

81. Is that a backing track?

It sounds like the singer is using a backtrack for vocal support.

[MineralMan]

6. These Star Spangled Singers?

It's the only group I could find:

[TheDebbieDee]

7. Just how credible is this site?

[babylonsister]

16. I read it a lot but

here's some confirmation from another site you probably never heard of...

http://heavy.com/news/2016/12/donald-trump-inauguration-ball-ceremony-musicians-performers-celebrities-performances-list-all-american/

[Grey Lemercier]

30. Heavy is 100% legit

[babylonsister]

67. Cool, thanks! nt

[louis-t]

8. Conning people out of $250 is what drumpf is all about.

Snoozefest 2017.

[MineralMan]

9. And Here's Beau Davidson:

[jmowreader]

14. I HATE douchebags like this who want to "thank" our troops for their sacrifice

You want to prove how "appreciative" and "patriotic" you are? ENLIST!

[MineralMan]

19. Yeah! And the Army will let you shoot guns and shit...

What's not to like?

Truly, that line-up is a disaster waiting to happen.

[jmowreader]

21. The Army will let you CLEAN guns and shit

Unless you are in the infantry and you get into a firefight, you're a hell of a lot more likely to put cleaning rods down your rifle's barrel than you are bullets.

[MineralMan]

27. Well, there's the range, right?

Even us USAF guys got to shoot M16s at the range. Never saw one again, though, during my enlistment. But, got my Expert Marksman ribbon all the same.

[jmowreader]

35. If you're not combat arms, you go once a year

Very few of the ranges on an Army base are certified for live fire and even fewer are set up the way they need to be for rifle qualification*, so it's very hard to get time on one. IIRC the infantry qualifies twice per year, once on Expert Infantryman's Badge testing day and again six months later; everyone else gets to go to the range once a year.

* The most entertaining range I ever saw was the one at Camp Humphreys, Korea. It's a 25-meter tunnel target range that lies under the approach to Desiderio Army Airfield. It has a berm you fire into, and on the other side of it is a massive rice paddy....which, of course, belongs to a Korean farmer. We bought the fifteen feet of the farmer's paddy that runs beside the berm, and turned it into a dirt road. When you go to Range Control to open that range they give you, in addition to all the normal things any range operator needs, four PRC-77 radios and eight batteries. One radio goes to the range safety officer. One goes to someone watching the road. One is operated by someone watching the end of the runway, and the fourth to someone looking 180 degrees from the runway. Those troops call cease-fire if they see any incursions into the range...and they see a LOT of incursions.

[roscoeroscoe]

51. It's a unique experience

One of the loudest ranges I've ever fired at, thanks to being inside a concrete culvert!

[MountCleaners]

80. They never thank those who fought the Nazis...

People like my grandfather, who was a staunch Democrat. That's because they're too busy making Nazis feel comfortable.

[jimmil]

63. On another board....

I was jumped on by some cons. I said I was a liberal and there is no one who can support the guys in the military more then me because I was one in 69-71. Of course they said no liberal could support troops because we hate the military and everything they stand for. It was also odd that none of the people who jumped on me ever admitted to serving in the military prior to that time. However, I went in and did my time. I didn't do it because it's America, USA USA USA! I didn't do it because I hate all enemies of our government. I just went in because I was called up. And I didn't fight, I didn't kill, and I didn't get wounded because I love my country. I was just doing my job. I did it for the guys in my platoon, my company, and everyone else stuck in that shit eating place. There was no mom, dad, and apple pie. We were a bunch of guys just trying to stay alive and return home. That's it. No band, no parade, no fake people making empty praises of us being heroes so they look better waving the flag. We just wanted to get back and live our lives and everything be normal again, which, if you have ever been to war you know that is impossible. One of the cons called me a coward after I wrote something similar. I agreed with him as I was scared most of the time I was there.

[dhill926]

119. great post...

and props for Sam Stone...real as it gets...

[alfredo]

73. He's a prep school, soap opera loser that never wore the uniform.

[MineralMan]

10. And, At Long Last - On Our Stage: The Mixx

[2naSalit]

39. Sounds as if they haven't played a gig

since the 80s. Probably the only one they'll have this century.

[pangaia]

49. jesus, where are they? Some roadhouse outside Kankakee?

[DemoTex]

11. Don't forget the Leningrad Cowboys & Red Army Chorus!

[yuiyoshida]

20. Okay that was bizarre!!

[byronius]

23. Leningrad Cowbows are actually pretty cool. I doubt they'd play for It.

[MineralMan]

28. Wonderful. Gotta love 'em!

[dhol82]

32. At least that's better than The Mixx

[snort]

33. Corny and I like it.

To me its an example of what's right with the World.

[niyad]

94. this is for real?? looks like something mel brooks would put on.

"springtime for hitler"

[Dulcinea]

105. I'm sure he could get these guys.

[progressoid]

12. Just another irony in this. They want elite A-listers while their supporters hate elite A-listers.

[Jacob Boehme]

13. No "A" list acts will come... no it's time to lower Agent Orange's standards.

How about these "B" and "C" list acts:
(Wanted, Dead, partly-dead, or alive.)

White Snake
Johnny Rotten and the Sex Pistols
Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods
Debby Boone
Starland Vocal Band
Taco
Men Without Hats
Wham!
Ace of Base
Limp Bizkit

Any act.... phuleeeze!

Of course, no matter who shows up, it will end up like this:

[jmowreader]

17. Hang on...you want a band named Taco to play at TRUMP's inauguration?

[Amaril]

18. Yes!!!!

[keithbvadu2]

62. Aren't they busy playing on every street corner?

[Amaril]

130. That's what he promised.

I'm sure the Orange Emperor wouldn't go back on a promise, right?

[KamaAina]

55. Men Without Hats are Canadian, and Ace of Base Swedish.

Not gonna happen.

[Crash2Parties]

60. Um...about Wham! Maybe no one told you, back in the day, but...

[rtracey]

15. well

i believe that great headliner of the RNCC this year Anthony Zabato Jr plays spoon and tissue paper. Perhaps he can find some stupid fucker that does clown balloons ans shadow puppets.

Fuck you Fuckump...

[leftyladyfrommo]

22. Kiss told him to kiss off. Nt

[tclambert]

24. I would love to DJ his party. I'm putin together a list of appropriate songs now:

Here's the first two:

Here's the full playlist:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_apocalyptic_songs

[Initech]

46. Got another one to add to your list:

[tclambert]

50. What a lovely ballad that is.

[lastlib]

89. Please allow me to add one:

Last Day of June 1934:

The Night of the Long Knives ("Nacht der langen Messer&quot , when Adolf Hitler carried out a bloody purge of the Nazi Party of those he suspected would be a threat to him. Ernst Roehm, head of the Nazi storm-troopers (SA) was among the hundreds killed.

This song is a warning to all of us.

[tclambert]

91. We don't need to worry about brown shirts. It's the ones with red hats.

They want to make America bleed again.

[Javaman]

25. I just looked into the future and saw the inauguration and tRump getting sworn in...

[Initech]

43. Or the First Order.

[MFM008]

110. There won't be that many people there

That aren't protesting.

[byronius]

26. Zlad!

[hvn_nbr_2]

29. "the check that they get..."

“If anyone does do it, I hope that the check that they get is in the nine figures."

I would suggest that they should get cash up front. Based on Comrade Trump's history, he'll probably stiff them otherwise.

[Hekate]

75. GMTA!

[pipi_k]

31. Well, here's one of the best

of the best local polka bands. I hear they might be available. It could be a festive evening!

[brooklynite]

34. Okay; as much as I like beating up on Donald Trump...

Last edited Thu Dec 22, 2016, 06:03 PM - Edit history (1)

The "All American Ball" is a private operation, not affiliated with the Inauguration Committee.

[roamer65]

36. They had better demand "cash on the barrelhead".

Otherwise they won't get paid.

[awoke_in_2003]

37. Doesn't matter how many figures are on the check

when it bounces.

[hughee99]

38. Trump will be counting the days until some of these same people

Make a funding plea for the NEA.

[Ilsa]

41. I doubt trumputin would fund the NEA if those

Performers had all said "Yes" to performing AND letting The Vulgarian sleep with their daughters.

[hughee99]

44. I wouldn't be surprised to see Trump use his influence

Solely to reward or punish people, because he can. No, I don't think he cares about the NEA, but I don't think he'd pass up the chance to use government agencies for his own personal agenda either.

[Ilsa]

48. He's already threatened to use his new power

with the Boeing exec.

[hughee99]

52. Yes, and this seems to be the sort of thing he'd do for all matters,

Big or small. Expect a ton of stories about this sort of thing in the coming years.

[Liberal_in_LA]

40. Good. Keep sending him a message about his biggoted campaign

[Initech]

42. See? If we elected Hillary we could have Pearl Jam, Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and tons more!

DJ Freedom? Excuse me a minute...

As George Carlin would say - "fuck cable, this shit is better than pay per view!"

[aidbo]

45. Ok, this is hilarious:

I was perusing their "entertainment" offerings and one of them is listed as a 'paparazzi photo shoot zone' where

Be a star at the All American Inaugural Ball. Get your photo taken Hollywood-style in the Paparazzi Shoot Zone.

http://www.allamericanball.com/entertainment1/paparazzi-photo-shoot-zone/

The accompanying image on the website for this feature is actually a poster for a movie called "Paparazzi" released in 2004.

http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0338325/?ref=m_nv_sr_1

[pansypoo53219]

47. has he tried 'up with people'? did i get that right?

[KamaAina]

56. You mean "Up With Dinner"?

[whathehell]

64. Lol..I thought the played their last gig in 1971

That's the last time I saw them...

[christx30]

66. My mom was in 'Up with People'. I was practically raised

singing those songs. They are most decidedly not his crowd..

"If more people were for people all people everywhere
There'd be a lot less people to worry about, and a lot more people who care."

Nothing about Donald Trump resembles that at all.

[Chipper Chat]

74. I was in Up With People.

Because we portrayed a 'clean cut' image against the growing tapestry of anti-war hippie types people assumed (and unfortunately still do) that we were all rabid republicans. It only takes one listen to "What Color Is God's Skin" to understand what we were about. We hated xenophobic blowhards like Trump.

[Hekate]

76. Hey, I loved Up With People and its idealism. I still even have my vinyl album of their songs.

I hope you had a good time.

[Buns_of_Fire]

53. Fools. They SHOULD have been fired. DU GAVE them an entire list.

On the other hand, Trumpski's team is probably wondering what the odds were of every A-Lister in America already being scheduled for a root canal at the very same time!!!

Damn, what a coincidence!

[Warpy]

54. They'd have had better luck calling the union

but they hate unions so they're stuck with wedding "combos" and bar bands.

Oh, well, it's not like Republicans will know the difference.

[MrPurple]

57. What happened? Trump said he'd locked down the California Raisins...

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="

" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[videohead5]

58. Ted Nugent?

He can sing Cat Scratch Fever.Trump will just love these lyrics...I make the pussy purr with
The stroke of my hand.

[hvn_nbr_2]

84. I was thinking...

I was thinking he could go for (dark) comedy instead of music--Clint Eastwood could talk to an empty chair and Ted could tell how he beat the draft.

[keithbvadu2]

59. Where will coward pedophile Ted Nugent be playing?

He is definitely an a lister.

Or an a something.

[northoftheborder]

61. Put this on the Greatest Thread.........

[Marie Marie]

68. Where's Meat Loaf??

Oh, that's right - he only screams for Romney.

[Qanisqineq]

83. He would do anything for love... but he won't do that

[underpants]

90. LOL

[hibbing]

108. sweeeet! haha

[pipi_k]

122. But...

I bet he says that to all the boys!

[JNelson6563]

128. We have a winner!

Seriously lol'd

[CentralMass]

114. He said let me sleep on it and I'll give you an answer in the morning.

[JudyM]

69. Best thing would be if we could get entertainers that those who voted for him most admire.

[War Horse]

70. Something about this thread made me want to post this

[Hekate]

78. I love the Dixie Chicks; found myself playing through their albums a month or so ago.

Earl had to die.

[Generic Other]

71. Un un un un unbelievable...

I hear this guy is available...

[pfitz59]

112. Looks like Singapore, but OMG

where did you find this?

[Generic Other]

113. He just stunned me like vegetable

And reminds me of Trump!

[They_Live]

129. Thanks for posting this!

I'm in a better mood now.

[JHan]

77. lol /sad.

[QED]

79. Is Ashcroft available?

Let the eagle soar, Baby.

[niyad]

95. gee, thanks. I had, mercifully, forgotten that nightmare.

[rocktivity]

123. And to think of the time and money Bush II spent transporting people on waterboarding

rocktivity

[malaise]

82. Too good

Happy holidays babylonsister

[central scrutinizer]

85. Melania requested Milli Vanilli

[Ilsa]

88. Bwaaaaaahahahahahaha!!!!

Not everyone on DU will get that.

[mobeau69]

97. Michelle and I got it. - Mo and BO n/t

[babylonsister]

98. Haha! nt

[Charles Bukowski]

101. LMAO!

[dhill926]

120. that is some funny shit....

[cwydro]

92. It's a funny story, but not seeing it reported anywhere reputable.

Be nice if it were true.

[mobeau69]

96. LOL! The All American Inaugural Ball "Its The Party Of A Lifetime!"

OMG. Ex-Con Olie North gets second billing after Buzz Aldrin. These are the only two names I'm familiar with but I don't think they do any Etta James.

I have to admit this looks promising:

Paparazzi Photo Shoot Zone
Be a star at the All American Inaugural Ball. Get your photo taken Hollywood-style in the Paparazzi Shoot Zone.

You can't make this shit up.


http://www.allamericanball.com/entertainment/

[lunasun]

100. Thanks for the link . A Bigly lame event

[NastyRiffraff]

125. OMFG!

This is a warning! I clicked on the OP's link and saw the poster from the darkest circle of Hell!, advertising the All American Inaugural Ball. Ye gods!! My eyes will never be the same. Take a look, if you dare. I won't post it here, out of respect for DUers' health and sanity.

[turbinetree]

99. Here's a recommendation for the fascists in chief also known as the serial predator

it last about a minute, which is way to long for his party

[Cha]

102. Because its probably the last check theyre ever going to get, Dixie Chicks manager Simon Renshaw

THIS!

[SleeplessinSoCal]

103. all I can think about is how this could be spun. KC surely knows Rachel is tough.

Wonder how many tweets will vilify Rachel....

[Lotusflower70]

104. LMFAO!

Omg! This is going to be an epic failure.

[ailsagirl]

106. "Its a whos who of Who? '

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

We must never, EVER lose our sense of humor

[hibbing]

107. What about The Joker....I mean Wayne Newton?

[Skittles]

109. you're a LOSER, TRUMP!!

FUCK YOU!!!

[mahina]

111. May I suggest Gogol Bordello? Pretty sure they're available.

American Wedding

Mussolini v. Stalin

Wanderlust King!

Why yes, he is the actor from Everything is Illuminated. Gogol Bordello is the band in the movie

[mac56]

116. By the time we got to Trumpstock, we were half a dozen strong...

[rocktivity]

117. How about those three girls the USA Freedom Kids?

oh, wait, he screwed them over...


rocktivity

[TonyPDX]

118. Certainly won't go. Won't watch, either. Not for a moment.

[stage left]

126. Maybe they could just screen

The Producers.

[Sunlei]

127. noticed the KKK has a band and international connections, KKK will play for Republicans.

[tblue37]

131. They stiffed the USA Freedom Kids after they performed at one of his rallies,

so probably even they turned down the inaugural gig!

<iframe width="630" height="354" src="

" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[MrPurple]

132. I wonder if Bannon has given the Marine Corps band the sheet music to Deutschland Uber Alles