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(100,038 posts) Wed Feb 8, 2017, 02:01 PM Feb 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-12: Remember The Bowling Green Massacre Edition

Last edited Mon Dec 18, 2017, 12:24 AM - Edit history (1)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-12: Remember The Bowling Green Massacre Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! You know what? I was originally going to trash the Patriots in the opener, yeah I don't like them, yeah I could point out Bill Maher's new rule from last week where he talked about the fact that Tom Brady, Bill Belicheck, and Robert Kraft are all friends of Trump, but there's far more important things to get angry about. I do like that some of them are choosing not to go to visit Trump in the White House. So I won't attack that. I'll use Coretta Scott King's advice and take the high road. Although is anyone really that surprised that Tom Brady's jersey and the game ball are missing? Or do I even need to address how classy the Patriots' fans were at NRG Stadium in Houston booing Commissioner Gooddell for what seemed like 10 minutes straight? Instead I'm going to talk about one of my favorite aspects of the Super Bowl - the commercials. I do like all the comparisons of the Falcons’ epic meltdown to what happened at election night, but Trump supporters just don’t get humor and how mean spirited their attempt at parodies can be. Lady Gaga was amazing at halftime (in fact I wound up buying most of her albums on iTunes after they were on sale), and the pro-immigration commercials were amazing to see. But we do have to talk about one ad in particular which was the ultra-creepy Mr. Clean commercial. Can we show that?

The cleaner of my dreams ladies and gentlemen! But is it me or is Mr. Clean ultra creepy in this commercial? Most of the ads were great especially the way they trolled Trump supporters hard and we’ll talk about that much later in this edition. But enough of the intro, let’s get to it shall we? But first SNL is back, and man did they own it on Saturday. That was one of the best episodes I’ve seen in years and we cannot let it go without playing the brilliant intro where Alec Baldwin once again takes to his amazing Donald Trump impersonation and gets owned by Zimbabwe prime minister Mugabe (who was brilliantly played by Keenan Thompson, I might add!).

So where do we start? You know we were originally going to take a week off this week, but the events that led up to this week were too good to not make fun of. And these things have a shelf life. That is one of the challenges of doing these. But it just gets crazier and crazier, and I fear in a couple of weeks we might not have a functioning government left. Those bastards will have successfully killed it. In the number one slot is of course President Trump (1). So he might have jeopardized relations with Iran, Australia, Mexico and China, and we’re only in the first three weeks here people! At number 2 is also President Donald Trump (2). So at the national Prayer Breakfast, he told constituents to overturn the Johnson Amendment while asking everyone to pray for Arnold Schwarzenegger’s sinking ratings for the Celebrity Apprentice. In the third slot, is also President Trump. So in order to justify Trump’s unconstitutional and inhumane Muslim ban, he talked about something called the “Bowling Green Massacre” which if you guessed didn’t happen, you are correct! . Yes, this really happened. At number 4, we’re going to talk about how Donald Trump (4) celebrated the Super Bowl. Although I did the same thing in the 4th quarter. At number 5 is Milo Yiannopolous (5), who incited riots at UC Berkeley, while he completely fails at understanding how scholarships work, and he left a shitty tip at a Buffalo Wild Wings in New Mexico. At number 6 is Sean Spicer, while the rest of the world was praising Melissa McCarthy’s brilliant performance on SNL, he um, had a different opinon. At number 7 is Donald Trump Supporters. So what happens when you hold rallies across the country and nobody shows up? We will find out about that. At number 8 is Alex Jones. He has a rather bizarre theory about Lady Gaga’s halftime show. It’s not an innocent concert – it’s part of an illuminati mind control plot! *cue horror music* In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot we’re going to lighten things up and talk about food. Did you know there’s a shortage of bacon? And Hooters is debuting a new restaurant. Finally this week we’re bringing back our Stupidest State contest for round 3. This time we’re exploring the Gun Nut Conference, where reigning champion Arizona is taking on the hottest state in the league, Montana who finished the season with the best record in the league ,and has lots of new talent. Plus if you’re still sticking around after that, we’ve got some more live music for you – this time from San Diego’s favorite marijuana-smoking band Slightly Stoopid! They’re playing the One Love Reggae Festival in Long Beach this week and they will be stopping by the show to play something! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

We’re in the 19th day of the Trump administration, or as I’m calling it: Trumpocalypse 2017, You’re Fucked, America! Holy shit there’s way too much this week. I mean since we have to keep it to 10, we don’t even have time to delve into the botched Yemen raid, or the fact that Neil Gorsuch may or may not have started a Fascism Forever club while in college, and I’d love to trash Betsy DeVos too, but we’ll wait until she actually takes office and starts doing damage before we get that opportunity! I'd also love to talk about Mitch McConnell finalizing the coup against the United States government with his harassment of Elizabeth Warren. Or even Donald Trump's latest tweets about Nordstrom So we'll have to wait until next week. And you know what – Punxatawney Phil saw his shadow, which means we’ll get at least six more weeks of angry protesting in the streets! But seriously fuck them all. Just Monday, Donald Trump literally declared himself above the law:

Link to tweet

Yes. There you have it. He is calling his own shots now ladies and gentlemen! What, is he channeling his inner Eric Cartman now?

I mean you’re the president, not a dictator! You were elected to serve the people, not declare yourself Emperor Palpatine! So who has Donald J. Trump pissed off this week? We could literally devote all 10 slots just to talking about who Trump has pissed off, and we might do that in a future edition. He’s been relatively silent this week since the travel ban was enacted that pissed off the whole world. And now he’s declared himself Emperor of America, so what happened?

As an appeals court reviews his travel ban from seven Muslim countries, President Trump claimed Monday that the public is with him, despite polls indicating otherwise.

"Any negative polls are fake news, just like the CNN, ABC, NBC polls in the election," Trump tweeted. "Sorry, people want border security and extreme vetting."

Polls are more equivocal on Trump's move, though many showed slight opposition to the order that blocked travel to the U.S. from Iran, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria and Yemen, causing delays, long lines and general chaos at airports nationwide last month.

After a federal judge in Seattle struck down the order, the Trump administration has appealed to the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals; the case may well be en route to the Supreme Court.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-claims-public-with-him-on-travel-ban/ar-AAmET1r?li=BBnbcA1

It’s fake news, OK? Everybody is fake except for those who agree with me! Instead, let’s pray for Arnold Schwarzenegger and his sagging Apprentice ratings! In fact at this point it’s probably easier to list people who Donald Trump hasn’t pissed off. Himself, and um… yeah let’s just go with himself. Even Bill O’Reilly was questioning his tactics during his big pre-game interview:

O'Reilly asked Trump whether he "respects" the former KGB agent:

"I do respect him, but I respect a lot of people," Trump said, "That doesn't mean I'm going to get along with him."

Trump said he would appreciate any assistance from Russia in the fight against ISIS terrorists, adding that he would rather get along with the former Cold War-era foe than otherwise.

"But, [Putin] is a killer," O'Reilly said.

"There are a lot of killers," Trump responded, "We've got a lot of killers. What do you think? Our country's so innocent?"
http://insider.foxnews.com/2017/02/04/preview-bill-oreilly-donald-trump-super-bowl-interview

Ooh, I like that one!

But this might be the craziest thing so far that Trump has done. It was revealed that, in a typical way that a user will scroll Apple’s 75 page long End User License Agreement and click on “agree” without reading it… and by the way that fucking thing gets longer every single time there’s a new update! Am I not right about that? But it was revealed that he might have signed these things without reading them!

President Donald Trump complained that he was not fully briefed before signing an executive order that gave chief political strategist Stephen Bannon a seat on the National Security Council, The New York Times reports. The executive order, which gave Bannon an unprecedented security role for a non-military adviser, was reportedly one of a series of orders crafted by Bannon and policy director Stephen Miller. Trump reportedly signed the order without fully understanding the power it would grant Bannon, and grew angry when he later learned the order’s full significance. Other White House staff, including Chief of Staff Reince Priebus have also reportedly expressed concern over what they viewed as a lack of checks on Bannon’s and Miller’s powers. Priebus has since drafted a 10-part checklist of steps and approvals an executive order must receive before it is signed into action, the Times reports. Bannon, the former head of alt-right website Breitbart, has been credited with some of the Trump administration’s most controversial moves, and reportedly told allies that he had a narrow time slot in which to push his own agenda in the White House before other advisers put a check on his influence.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/05/us/politics/trump-white-house-aides-strategy.html?_r=1

And you may have heard by now that Trump is going after the safety net known as Dodd-Frank that was passed after the housing market crash in 2008. And why is that, I wonder? We might need the Sad Hulk Music for this one.

President Donald Trump was blunt Friday morning when he told a roundtable of business leaders why his administration was committed to hollowing out some financial regulations in Dodd-Frank: His friends can’t get loans.

“We have some of the bankers here. There’s nobody better to tell me about Dodd-Frank than Jamie, so you’re going to tell me about it,” Trump said, referring to Jamie Dimon, the JPMorgan Chase CEO and leader of Trump's business roundtable.

“We expect to be cutting a lot out of Dodd-Frank, because frankly I have so many people, friends of mine, that have nice businesses and they can’t borrow money,” he continued. “They just can’t get any money because the banks just won’t let them borrow because of the rules and regulations in Dodd-Frank. So we'll be talking about that in terms of the banking industry.”

Trump also promised the business leaders in the room that he would “get taxes even lower than we're going to be cutting them,” and that he would seek their input in doing so.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/trump-dodd-frank-friends-cant-get-loans

*Casey Kasem voice* And that goes out to the poor billionaires who can’t get loans to tank our country further than it is already because of those pesky safety nets. And they would have got away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling liberals!

Thank you! I will take that one! Which by the way if you guessed it, a whopping 3:1 Americans oppose rolling back this safety net:

Oh and he also threatened to send troops to Mexico:

(WASHINGTON) — President Donald Trump warned in a phone call with his Mexican counterpart that he was ready to send U.S. troops to stop "bad hombres down there" unless the Mexican military does more to control them, according to an excerpt of a transcript of the conversation obtained by The Associated Press.

The excerpt of the call did not detail who exactly Trump considered "bad hombres," nor did it make clear the tone and context of the remark, made in a Friday morning phone call between the leaders. It also did not contain Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto's response. Mexico denies that Trump's remarks were threatening.
http://time.com/4657474/donald-trump-enrique-pena-nieto-mexico-bad-hombres/

And he threatened Iran on Twitter:

President Trump’s decision Friday to quickly slap new sanctions on Iran after it conducted a ballistic missile test signals the hard turn the new administration intends to take with Tehran.

It capped a week in which the fiery rhetoric from Team Trump highlighted rising tensions between the two countries.

The new sanctions were cheered by Republicans, who had pushed former President Obama to respond more muscularly to Iran’s provocations.
http://thehill.com/policy/defense/317864-trump-makes-right-turn-on-iran

And then may have jeopardized our relations with Australia:

“On the Fourth of July, 1918, American and Australian soldiers fought side-by-side at the Battle of Hamel. In the century that followed, our two nations struggled and sacrificed together in World War I and World War II, Korea and Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq. Those of us who took part in the conflict remember well the service of more than 50,000 Australians in the Vietnam War, including more than 500 that gave their lives.

“Today, Australia is hosting increased deployments of U.S. aircraft, more regular port visits by U.S. warships and critical training for U.S. Marines at Robertson Barracks in Darwin. This deepening cooperation is a reminder that from maintaining security and prosperity in the Asia-Pacific region to combating radical Islamist terrorism, the U.S.-Australia relationship is more important than ever.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/no-gday-mate-on-call-with-australian-pm-trump-badgers-and-brags/2017/02/01/88a3bfb0-e8bf-11e6-80c2-30e57e57e05d_story.html?utm_term=.ffe08c3ac75c

Link to tweet

This begs the question – when have you studied anything, @realDonaldTrump? Please tell us. I’m waiting.

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

The National Prayer Breakfast. The day that makes atheists everywhere go “Why do we have a National Prayer Breakfast? We’re supposed to have separation of church and state!”. So let’s compare two presidents, shall we? Before we get into how Donald Trump fucked up, let’s talk about how Obama handled last year’s Prayer Breakfast:

Washington (CNN)President Barack Obama addressed the National Prayer Breakfast on Thursday, speaking about the need to overcome fear through faith, just one day after making a historic visit to a Baltimore mosque where he delivered a message of religious inclusivity.
"Fear can lead us to lash out against those who are different or lead us to try to get some sinister 'other' under control," said Obama, making a veiled reference to divisive rhetoric on the presidential campaign trail.
"Alternatively, fear can lead us to succumb to despair or paralysis or cynicism," he said. "Fear can feed our most selfish impulses and erode the bonds of community."
However, he said, "Faith is the great cure for fear."
http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/04/politics/obama-national-prayer-breakfast/

Wow those are some pretty powerful words there! Now let’s compare that to how Donald J. Trump handled his first National Prayer Breakfast:

Washington (CNN)President Donald Trump veered off script at the start of the National Prayer Breakfast Thursday when he asked a room full of lawmakers, foreign dignitaries and religious leaders to pray for Arnold Schwarzenegger so that ratings of his show -- NBC's "The Apprentice" -- would go up.
Trump, who lauded the six-decade long traditional gathering as a "testament to the power of faith" was introduced by Mark Burnett, the television producer who teamed up with Trump to create "The Apprentice." The hit show arguably launched Trump's political ambitions.
Trump left the show, however, in 2015 as he explored a presidential run and Burnett replaced him with Schwarzenegger, the movie star and former California governor.
Trump trashes Arnold Schwarzenegger for 'Apprentice' ratings

"We know how that turned out," Trump said, knocking Schwarzenegger. "The ratings went right down the tubes. It has been a disaster."
http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/02/politics/donald-trump-national-prayer-breakfast/

Ah, we turned the tables on the memes! We’ve become self aware now! Oh yeah! So he actually used the National Prayer Breakfast – normally meant to be a solemn occasion – to trash Arnold Schwarzenegger and his Celebrity Apprentice ratings! I mean what, not enough Meat Loaf and Gary Busey?

By the way we’ve got to show Arnold’s response to Trumpenfuror. And what does the man himself think of Trump? Well, he’s got some choice words.

OWNED!!! And there is more to the Trump – Schwarzenegger feud. And I didn’t think I would be agreeing with my state’s former governor, but you know the old saying “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”, right? I mean remember this Tweet from a couple of weeks ago?

Link to tweet

Now here’s where your training about dissecting Trump tweets can come in handy, ladies and gentlemen. See, Trump pissed off Schwarzenegger something fierce. And well, Arnold’s exact response is well, the words “smash” and “face” were used.

Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t backing down from his public feud with President Donald Trump.

The 69-year-old former California governor and current host of “The Celebrity Apprentice” responded to Trump’s tweets last month about the reality show’s low ratings.

“I said, ‘Let’s sit on it for an hour,” said Schwarzenegger to Men's Journal. “I called my assistant and said, ‘I think what we really should do is request a meeting a go back to New York. And then we just smash his face into the table.’”

“And then I think, ‘We can’t do that, either. I think I have to be above all of that and put him on the spot,’” he added.

Schwarzenegger also took to Twitter and posted a video where he challenged Trump to “work for all of the American people as aggressively as you worked for your ratings.”
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2017/02/06/arnold-schwarzenegger-on-trump-wanted-to-smash-his-face.html

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

This is the reason why I wanted to do one of these this week. So the entire world hates you for a travel ban. Really Donald, you pissed a hell of a lot of people off, violated several international treaties, violated several US laws, alienated our allies, made even more enemies, caused more protests in the streets and getting people to protest at our nation’s airports.. So how do you make it all better? If you’re Donald J. Trump, how do you justify this unlawful and unconstitutional ban? What do you do? Why you make up a fake terrorist attack!

Kellyanne Conway has taken “alternative facts” to a new level.

During a Thursday interview with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, the counselor to the president defended President Trump’s travel ban related to seven majority-Muslim countries. At one point, Conway made a reference to two Iraqi refugees whom she described as the masterminds behind “the Bowling Green massacre.”

“Most people don’t know that because it didn’t get covered,” Conway said.

The Bowling Green massacre didn’t get covered because it didn’t happen. There has never been a terrorist attack in Bowling Green, Ky., carried out by Iraqi refugees or anyone else.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/02/03/kellyanne-conway-cites-bowling-green-massacre-that-never-happened-to-defend-travel-ban/?utm_term=.9bed948dfa0f

You know what? Can we roll the tape on that?

I like Saturday Night Live this weekend when they said that it happened on Feb. 35th of the year 1910020. So now if you’re Kellyanne Conway, who do you blame for this mess? Why of course you blame “the haters”!

WASHINGTON – Top Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway on Sunday said ‘haters” are to blame for blowing up her comments about the “Bowling Green massacre” when she simply “misspoke.”

“It was a plot. Well, they’re masterminds. I had said that before, they’re masterminds. I should’ve just said plot, or I should’ve just called them terrorists,” Conway said on Fox News’ “Media Buzz.”

Conway said she made a mistake when she cited the “Bowling Green massacre” to defend Trump’s needs for an immigration travel ban on MSNBC on Thursday. There was never a massacre in Bowling Green, Ky.

“I misspoke one word,” continued Conway, who also called the dust-up “massacre nonsense.” She walked back the comment on Friday.
http://nypost.com/2017/02/05/conway-blames-haters-for-bowling-green-massacre-backlash/

Yes, we shall never forget. Remember the Bowling Green Massacre! Sniff, the people who died on that day were heroes! In fact the actual town of Bowling Green, Kentucky themselves were having a field day with Ms. Conway’s nonsense:

Kellyanne Conway made a comment about a massacre in Kentucky that never happened, and the internet is thrilled.

The White House adviser mentioned the fictional massacre in an interview with MSNBC Thursday as the reason for a temporary travel ban for Iraqis in 2011, saying it also proved why the Trump administration's ban was necessary.

The comments have has sparked endless online mockery, with jabs like 'never remember' and 'I survived the Bowling Green massacre.'

The comment thrust this college town back into the national spotlight, nearly three years after a sinkhole that swallowed several classic Corvettes at a museum in Bowling Green garnered worldwide attention.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4189342/Massacre-Jokes-fly-city-known-car-eating-sinkhole.html

That is a good point, where was Frederick Douglas during all of this? And there’s even more, I couldn’t love this enough!

During a Thursday interview with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, the counselor to the president defended President Trump’s travel ban related to seven majority-Muslim countries. At one point, Conway made a reference to two Iraqi refugees whom she described as the masterminds behind “the Bowling Green massacre.”

“Most people don’t know that because it didn’t get covered,” Conway said.

The Bowling Green massacre didn’t get covered because it didn’t happen. There has never been a terrorist attack in Bowling Green, Ky., carried out by Iraqi refugees or anyone else.

It appeared initially that Conway was referring to two Iraqi citizens living in Bowling Green who were arrested in 2011 and eventually sentenced to federal prison for attempting to send weapons and money to al-Qaeda in Iraq for the purpose of killing U.S. soldiers, according to a statement from the Justice Department.
http://www.alan.com/2017/02/04/bowling-green-massacre-meme-tsunami-kellyannes-gaffe-goes-viral/

I like that one!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

There ain’t no party like a Donald Trump party cause a Donald Trump party don’t stop! Oh wait – it was being called the worst Super Bowl party ever. And the host leaves in the middle of it. So his friends Tom Brady, Bill Belicheck, and Robert Kraft -yes they are friends of his – managed to eek out a comeback win against the Falcons. But how did 45th president Donald Trump celebrate the Super Bowl? With the worst party ever!

I don’t care if you’re the biggest Donald Trump fan on the planet, you have to admit that this Super Bowl party is the saddest gathering of people since the Red Wedding. There’s so much awful contained in this one photo that we’ll just do a rapid fire checklist of everything the president has done wrong.

Seating like a dang wedding.
Football party favors that were bought at Party City.
Some guests seated with their backs to the screen.
Everyone is wearing suits and evening wear instead of anything but suits and evening wear.
THERE’S A VELVET ROPE AROUND TRUMP’S TABLE LIKE A LINE FOR A SOLD OUT MOVIE!
Uncomfortable-ass chairs that were spray painted gold to look fancy.
No sign of beer. Lemon water and soda for all in attendance.
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2017/2/5/14517742/donald-trump-super-bowl-party-wedding-maybe-patriots-vs-falcons

Dude, you have to wear suits and there’s no beer? What the fuck kind of party is this? And how do you have a VIP table with no bottle service? What is this? A lame Christmas party at your office? Or is it a wedding? Funeral reception? A conference you’re forced to go to? What is it? And just look at how happy everyone in attendance is!

And he left early! Before the Patriots’ comeback win. No I’m not going to call it “epic”. Sorry. Hey it’s my show, I do what I want! But yes he left early and then went on a 3:00 AM Twitter toilet rampage after congratulating the Patriots:

Mark Wahlberg wasn't the only Patriots fan to give up on his team in Super Bowl LI. President Donald Trump -- who often touts his friendships with Patriots owner Robert Kraft, coach Bill Belichick, and quarterback Tom Brady -- left his Super Bowl party during the third quarter.

Before the game, he predicted the Patriots would win by eight points. At the time of his departure, the Patriots trailed 28-3. They ended up winning 34-28 in overtime after a historic comeback.

Reports didn't say if Trump eventually returned or if he watched somewhere else. But he did leave.

http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/president-trump-left-his-super-bowl-party-before-the-patriots-historic-comeback/

By the way, before you start blasting me for hating on the Patriots for their win in the Super Bowl, I should point out that everyone’s favorite punc hable Nazi Richard Spencer turned the Patriots’ win into a racist meme. The Punchable Nazis, by the way, I saw them at the Troubadour. Way better than the Screaming Nazis!

New England was not alone in celebrating the Patriots' Super Bowl victory — they had the abhorred leader of far-right extremists cheering Tom Brady as an “Aryan Avatar.”

Richard Spencer, the author of the National Policy Institute known for promoting thinly-veiled white supremacy, applauded the 34-28 overtime win as a triumph for white pride in a bizarre post-Super Bowl tweet storm.

“For the white race, it's never over," Spencer wrote with a gif of Brady kissing his supermodel wife Gisele Bündchen.

"I'm proud of the NFL's Whitest team," he added, noting that he was born in Boston.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/white-nationalist-troll-cheers-tom-brady-aryan-avatar-article-1.2965109

The Aryan Avatars opened for the Punchable Nazis, and they got booed off stage. Speaking of music, we have to talk about Lady Gaga’s subtle jabs at Trump during her halftime performance.

Lady Gaga's Super Bowl halftime show — while not overtly political — contained some social commentary just below the surface.

In the very beginning of her performance, the pop artist sang "America the Beautiful" before quickly switching to, "This Land is Your Land," a Woody Guthrie tune popular in many of the protests that have taken place after President Trump took office. People sang the song at women's marches across the nation the day after Trump's inauguration and at New York City's John F. Kennedy International Airport in light of Trump's immigration travel ban among other instances.

The song is popular at protests because it sort of is a protest song. The U.S. Library of Congress said Guthrie, a product of the Great Depression, wrote it in response to "God Bless America." Guthrie didn't like the song because he said it ignored the uneven distribution of wealth in America.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/music/news/did-you-catch-these-hidden-messages-in-lady-gagas-halftime-performance/ar-AAmEvYt?li=BBnb7Kz

By the way I like this Tweet from the great Weird Al Yankovic about Lady Gaga’s halftime performance:

Link to tweet

[font size="8"]Milo Yiannopolous[/font]

So we got to talk about the UC Berkeley incident. This is one that requires you to read beyond the headlines. And with this, I don’t really encourage violence, but would someone please punch Milo Yiannopolous in the face? And bonus points if you’re a feminist and you punch him in the face! He’s easily overtaken Martin Shkreli as the ugliest human being in America, and they’re in cahoots together. So here’s what happened:

After a protest at UC Berkeley turned violent, campus officials shut down a scheduled speech by right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos.

The Breitbart News editor was set to deliver a speech inside a UC Berkeley campus building but hundreds of protesters began throwing
fireworks and pulling down the barricades police set up to keep people from rushing into the building.

The Berkeley Police Department said people were throwing bricks, smoking objects, and fireworks at police officers. Protesters took down a light pole and the building where the event was to be held had windows broken.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Protesters-storm-Milo-Yiannopoulos-event-at-UC-10901829.php

And then this is where you have to read beyond the headlines. See, the whole point of the incident was to make us liberals look like violent thugs. Which is exactly what Mr. Yiannopolous does – he gives talks at ultra liberal schools, which cause protests, protests turn to riots, then he goes and retreats to his computer to complain about how liberals are big meanie heads. Hey universities! Stop inviting him already! The best way to stop a troll is to not feed one!

Really Berkeley? The hallowed home of the free speech movement has become the face of curtailing speech? And it did so while playing its assigned role in a Breitbart provocateur's performance art project? Oh well played, Berkely. Really. Well done.

The University of California, Berkeley's Republican club invited Milo Yiannopoulos, whose persistent stream of deliberate offensiveness got him banned from Twitter, to speak at the school. This ignited first a large (1,500+ people) and, according to the school's account, peaceful protest which was then joined by 150 or so anarchist agitators employing violent tactics. "This university was essentially invaded by more than 100 individuals clad in ninja-like uniforms who were armed and engaged in paramilitary tactics," a school spokesman told The New York Times. Ninjas!
http://www.usnews.com/opinion/articles/2017-02-02/berkeley-protesters-play-into-hands-of-trolls-like-milo-yiannopoulos

And then Donald Trump, in the way that Donald Trump does, threw a Molotov cocktail at tank of gasoline:

Link to tweet

President Donald Trump's reaction to violent protests against a right-wing speaker at the University of California's Berkeley campus was to suggest he'd rescind federal funds for blocking free speech.

The president's threat appears unprecedented, and raises questions about how Trump could halt funding ...

U.S. Rep. Barbara Lee, a Democrat and Trump critic who represents Berkeley, called the president's tweet an "empty threat" and "an abuse of power." A congressional aide followed up later by saying Trump did not have the power to withdraw funding from a university on his own.

But it might be possible with help from Congress ...

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/can-trump-block-money-punishment-uc-berkeley-protests-n715901

And then Milo fires back at universities who dare not cancel his events saying that “Trump is watching you”. Ooh, I’m scared! But really – fuck you Milo.

After heated protests resulted in the cancellation of a Milo Yiannopoulos speaking event at a California university, the infamous far-right Internet troll warned higher learning institutions that President Donald Trump is “watching”.

About 1,500 demonstrators gathered on the University of California, Berkeley, campus ahead of Yiannopoulos’ scheduled visit. A small group of anti-fascist agitators vandalised a segment of the campus, causing police to shut down the event.

The President responded to the events of the evening on Twitter, and appeared to threaten Berkeley – a university with a strong history of activist presence – with pulling federal funding.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/milo-yiannopoulos-donald-trump-watching-uc-berkeley-protest-anti-fascist-internet-troll-a7560451.html

And by the way in case you’re wondering how much of a fucking scumbag Milo Yiannopolous is, he’s just as ugly as Donald Trump and Martin Shkreli, which really makes me want to punch him in the face. There’s this from last year:

Months after he was supposed to give away more than $100,000 for college scholarships, Milo Yiannopoulos says all of the money is still sitting in his bank account.
- Scholarships for white men only.
- The money is sitting in his personal bank account.

Yiannopoulos promised in January to create a college scholarship fund for “white men who wish to pursue their post-secondary education” that would be awarded in “early summer 2016.” The fund has raised somewhere between $100,000 and $250,000 to date, Yiannopoulos told The Daily Beast via email.

But the Yiannopoulos Privilege Grant has not filed any paperwork to become a charity in the United States. When asked if an application for tax-exempt status had been sent by his lawyers to the Internal Revenue Service, Yiannopoulos said, “I’ll check.”
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/08/19/breitbart-editor-milo-yiannopoulos-takes-100-000-for-charity-gives-0.html

So if you’re keeping score at home - $100,000 for Milo, and $0 for charity. That doesn’t even meet the IRS 501(c) rules for charity! You have to provide at least 5% of your income for that! And then there’s this.

Provocateur and alt-right darling Milo Yiannopoulos recently caused yet another controversy last Friday at a restaurant in Albuquerque, New Mexico, following a talk he gave at the nearby University of New Mexico.

As Yiannopoulos and his crew departed the city, they stopped at a Buffalo Wild Wings location near the airport. After eating, he and his group allegedly left their server a credit card receipt decorated with crucifixes, and the following inflammatory note: “God hates fags sorry about it.”

In the blank space where the tip would normally have been left for the $139.81 tab, the ticket was merely signed “no tip crew.”
https://munchies.vice.com/en/articles/alt-right-provocateur-milo-yiannopoulos-left-this-shitty-note-on-a-restaurant-receipt?utm_campaign=trendsus&utm_source=munchiestwitterus

Um….. fuck you, douchebag!

[font size="8"]Kellyanne Conway & Sean Spicer[/font]

That was an absolutely mic dropping sketch. I love the way they had the CNN guy in a cage wearing a diaper. I would totally expect that out of this administration at this point. So Sean Spicer did not take this very lightly. In fact he says SNL are big meanie heads. We might need the Sad Hulk Music for this one again!

White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer is not well known for his sense of humor, but he tried to find the funny in actress Melissa McCarthy's buzzworthy portrayal of him on this weekend's "Saturday Night Live."

The "Bridesmaids" star made the cameo appearance in a sketch lampooning Spicer's combative press briefings, in which she portrayed him as evasive, petulant, emotionally unstable and a ferocious consumer of chewing gum.

In a interview Monday on Fox News, Spicer described McCarthy's spoof of him as "cute."

"I'd rather us be talking about the issues that the president is so committed to helping Americans on," he said "But you know, it's a part of American culture."

Related: How 'Saturday Night Live' Has Shaped American Politics

In an earlier interview with "Extra's" AJ Calloway at the Super Bowl in Houston on Sunday, Spicer also tried to take the skewering in stride, saying that McCarthy's impression was "funny," and that she "needs to slow down on the gum chewing; way too many pieces in there" and she "could dial back" her performance a bit.
http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/sean-spicer-reacts-snl-melissa-mccarthy-n717366

You know what? Fuck the Sad Hulk Music, we need the crying baby for this one. These people couldn’t be more thin skinned than a layer of sea weed on a sushi roll. Thank you! I thought I had a segue for this but I really don’t, so we’ll switch subjects and talk more about the Bowling Green Massacre. But my favorite thing this week has to be that Kellyanne’s credibility has been absolutely destroyed because of the Bowling Green Massacre:

NEW YORK ― Television news executives are beginning to think twice about booking White House counselor Kellyanne Conway for segments over concerns her credibility has been too damaged.

Not all bookers are pulling the plug on putting the close Trump aide on their shows. Her proximity to the president remains a draw despite the dubiousness of some of her claims. But recent statements in which Conway invented a terrorist attack that she blamed the media for not covering, along with citing “alternative facts” when pressed on baseless White House claims, has forced some to reassess her utility on air.

As The Huffington Post reported Friday, the White House did not offer Vice President Mike Pence as a guest on CNN’s “State of the Union” even though he was appearing on the four other major Sunday shows. The snub followed a Politico report that the White House was “freezing out” CNN, which Trump increasingly attacks for being “fake news.” A CNN spokeswoman said the White House offered Conway as a substitute, but the network declined.
www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kellyanne-conway-tv-bookings_us_5898cdbfe4b0406131385594

This might be a turning point for fake news here, folks. And there’s more than one instance where Kellyanne has cited this non existent attack:

Kellyanne Conway thinks she took too much flak for citing a nonexistent “Bowling Green massacre” to justify President Trump's travel ban. She said she simply meant to say “Bowling Green terrorists,” and she later said, “I misspoke one word.”

Except now she doesn't appear to have misspoken at all; she seems to have believed that the Bowling Green massacre was a real thing.

How do we know? Because she cited the same nonexistent attack in separate interviews with two other outlets — Cosmopolitan magazine and TMZ..
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/02/06/kellyanne-conways-bowling-green-massacre-wasnt-a-slip-of-the-tongue-shes-said-it-before/?utm_term=.513a53d275ab

By the way Stephen Colbert went to town on Monday about the Bowling Green Massacre:

I think that’s a good idea – we need to know the truth behind the Bowling Green Massacre like they demanded to know the truth about Pizzagate and Clinton Cash!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump Supporters[/font]

You know folks there’s a reason why they call him “The Boss”. So the man, the myth, the legend, the one and only Mr. Bruce Springsteen was playing a series of concerts in Australia after Trump’s extremely failed attempt at diplomacy. And you know what? Cue the whambulence!

Bruce Springsteen trolled Donald Trump with a cover of the Orlons' "Don't Hang Up" in Melbourne after the president's disastrous phone call with Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull.

Springsteen opened his Melbourne concert with an acoustic rendition of the peppy 1962 pop hit, hoping its story of a rocky teenage romance might serve as a diplomatic salve. "We stand before you, embarrassed Americans, tonight," Springsteen cracked as he introduced the song, adding, "We're gonna use this to send a letter back home."

Poutraged admirers, defenders, and enablers of Donald "America-Basher in Chief" tRump are reporting through their Ministry of Propaganda outlets that Springsteen declared himself, 'Embarrassed' to be an American', inciting the RW base to fire off a barrage of strongly worded comments and tweets. Of course, being embarrassed to be an American and being an embarrassed American as a guest in the country whose leader the US president just yelled at and hung up on are not quite the same thing, but then nuance never was a strong suit of the Trumpistas.
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/watch-springsteen-taunt-trump-with-dont-hang-up-cover-w464557

Can we roll the tape on that?

And then Donald Trump supporters attempted their own series of protests around the country over the weekend in an attempt to troll the Women’s March. So let’s show what that looks like shall we?

Now let’s juxtapose that with what a pro Trump rally looks like. Here’s one in Portland:

And here’s one outside Trump Tower in DC – again they were actually controlling the crowd with barriers:

http://cdn.newsday.com/polopoly_fs/1.13067286.1486334181!/httpImage/image.jpeg_gen/derivatives/landscape_1280/image.jpeg

Even in liberal cities like Portland, Maine, where Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton got 76 percent of the vote, there are some Trump supporters.

On Saturday these fish out of water did their best to make their voices heard and show their alternative view to last week's massive anti-Trump rallies protesting the immigration ban.

As Trump supporter Doug Prevost told the CBS local station WGME-TV :

"I'm just kind of letting you know there's another side to the story. Letting people know Trump has an awful lot of backers behind him."
http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Trump-rally-Portland-Maine-small-Twitter-memes-10911459.php

So what’s their excuse? Did they have to work? Or did nobody flat out care? If a bunch of pro Trump trolls hold a rally and nobody shows up, did it happen?

[font size="8"]Alex Jones[/font]

So there’s a great op ed in the Washington Post that you really should read by Eugene Robinson who has a perfect explanation of Trump and his fans – it’s all tantrums all the time. And I’m not talking about friend of the show Fitz & The Tantrums, I’m talking about real 2 year old temper tantrums.

No one should have been surprised when President Trump raged that the “so-called judge” who blocked his travel ban should be blamed “if something happens.” It is clear by now that the leader of the free world has the emotional maturity of a 2-year-old who kicks, punches and holds his breath when he can’t have ice cream.

He dismisses anything he doesn’t want to hear as “fake news,” which is the equivalent of holding his hands over his ears. A poll showing that most people disapprove of the ban? Photographic evidence that the crowd for his inauguration was less than historic? Fake! All fake!

Trump’s supporters may convince themselves that the tantrums are part of a clever act. But if they were, Trump’s closest aides wouldn’t be leaking like walking colanders to what he calls the “dishonest media.” It appears they can’t get the president to sit for a briefing or read a memo, so they send messages to him via the newspaper stories that are clipped for him to read and the cable channels he obsessively watches.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/trumpism-is-all-tantrums-all-the-time/2017/02/06/a6f50360-eca3-11e6-9662-6eedf1627882_story.html?tid=ss_tw&utm_term=.d52ff52df94d

So now let’s segue that – and this is the last you’ll hear about the Super Bowl, a couple of strange things from Alex Jones . So whether you’re Patriots fans or Falcons fans, one thing we can all agree on is that Lady Gaga killed it at the halftime performance am I right about that?

Well one person who didn’t think so was Alex Jones who thought that it was part of a globalist agenda to advance the rise of the machines. Yes, I am not making this up. Can we roll the tape on that?

Which he followed up with:

And:

Hours before Lady Gaga’s performance at the Super Bowl halftime show, far-right radio host Alex Jones warned that the concert was going to be nothing but a Satanic ritual.

After linking her to “Pizzagate”—the conspiracy theory pushed by Jones and other conservatives that a Washington, D.C. restaurant hosts a devil-worshiping child sex ring connected to Hillary Clinton and other Democrats—Jones predicted that Lady Gaga would present herself as “the goddess of Satan” and “a twisted pile of crap” who wants Americans to bow to her demonic presence.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-lady-gaga-is-the-goddess-of-satan/

http://images.memes.com/meme/679829

This guy is getting White House Press Corps credentials people! What the serious fuck!

[font size="8"]The World Of Food[/font]

So we’re going to use the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’re going to lighten things up and talk about food. Specifically this story is near and dear to me, because as a red blooded American male, nothing is better than a heaping helping of bacon. I like my bacon with a side of bacon, and dipped in bacon jam and topped with melted bacon cheddar cheese and a side of bacon ketchup on a bacon pretzel roll. And I’ll wash it all down with a shot of bacon flavored vodka. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Ah that’s a good shot. But did you know there’s a bacon shortage folks?

Call it the first sign of the aporkalypse: The nation is facing a bacon shortage, with stocks of the salty strips at their lowest since 1957 due to a surge in demand (bacon ice cream, anyone?).

Recent data from the USDA shows that 2016 inventory for frozen pork belly, which puts the B in your BLT, is down 35.6 million pounds from 2015 levels.
http://www.cnbc.com/2017/02/01/now-its-getting-serious-2017-could-see-a-bacon-shortage.html

I mean as if we couldn’t possibly get any worse, now there’s a bacon shortage! And who knew we had a national bacon reserve? And that the UK was also experiencing its' own bacon shortage? Although is that weird piece of cured ham they put on burgers and served with breakfast really considered bacon? I mean they call it bacon.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the supermarket following the vegetable shortage... it would appear a bacon shortage could be coming.

A bacon batch is the go-to breakfast for many a Coventrian (and, yes, it is a batch).

But pig farmers are struggling to keep up with the demand for bacon, according to reports in The Independent.

Thankfully, the shortage, which has been dubbed "aporkalypse", is hitting America hardest.

That's because they make bacon a different way to us Brits.
http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/whats-on/food-drink-news/how-going-blt-after-lettuce-12563894

Now there’s a lettuce shortage too? Noooooooooooooo! I mean how will we make the greatest sandwich ever – the BLT? Except on mine, hold the lettuce, hold the tomato, and you know what? Fuck the bread too! Just more bacon! I mean if there’s an actual bacon shortage, how will the Epic Meal Time guys be able to make this?

Or this:

But thankfully – guess what? It’s fake news, folks, OK? Because I, Donald J. Trump will make bacon great again, OK? Because an America without bacon is no America at all!

The Ohio Pork Council, a lobbying group for pig farmers, sparked something of a minor online panic last week by pointing out that frozen pork belly inventory – the stuff bacon comes from – dropped by two-thirds last year to a 60-year low.

The hashtag #baconshortage2017 was quickly born, as frantic headlines warned of possible bacon privation.

Just one problem there is no bacon shortage.

It’s true, there were fewer than eight million kilos of the stuff in reserve as of late December, according to the US Department of Agriculture. A year earlier, pork belly stores were at 22.7 million kilos.

And yes, the level or reserves has not been this low since the USDA began keeping monthly records more than half a century ago, beginning in 1957.

Read more at http://www.star2.com/food/food-news/2017/02/06/is-there-a-bacon-shortage-in-the-us-no-there-isnt/#RLTQUWmo714qzKYm.99

And we also have to talk about a new concept restaurant being opened by Hooters. Let’s show the video shall we?

Ah, Hooters. Whether you've been there or not, you're likely at least generally familiar with America's original "breastaurant," a mecca for fans of the female form and affordably priced Buffalo wings.

But if you're really truly just in it for the wings (it's fine, we definitely believe you), take heart: You're apparently not alone, and the God of ogling owls sees you. The famous chain restaurant is launching a new fast-casual concept called "Hoots, a Hooters Joint."

But wait, there's more. Not only will Hoots run an abbreviated menu -- they're hiring men and women, and everyone's wearing full clothing. And while I personally lament the fact that no such place existed where a short shorts-clan, limber man served me a plate of Buffalo wings sans judgement, it's worth giving the brand props for finally branching out into the wonderful world of gender equality -- kind of. A recent press release on Facebook indicates that the company is looking to scale back the menu while expanding into smaller neighborhoods, presumably to make the brand more accessible throughout the US and appealing to new and varied demographics. The first spinoff will be located at 2201 S. Cicero Ave in Cicero, a suburb of Chicago. It'll serve Hooters' famous chicken wings, so don't panic -- and if nothing else, we can all rejoice in the fact that the female employees will be adequately dressed for Chicago winters. Hoots is slated to open sometime mid-February.
https://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/male-hooters-restaurant-chain-hoots

Who goes to Hooters for the food? You don’t read Playboy for the articles! This has all the makings to be a colossal disaster! To quote Jerry Seinfeld – “Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?”. I can imagine it will be something like this:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5kwUudLXBlA/TtxJoeGaSrI/AAAAAAAAKyo/NzjFzgs3zgY/s1600/Car+Wash+2.JPG

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 3: Gun Nut Conference: #1 Arizona Vs. #2 Montana[/font]

16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! If you need a reminder of the conferences, there’s the Batshit Conference, the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, the Gun Nut Conference, and the Family Values Conference. Last week, it was a Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference face-off where regional favorite Michigan knocked off Wisconsin with a buzzer beater to advance to the Hateful 8. This week we’re going to the Gun Nut Conference. Yes, the Gun Nut Conference, where you don’t have to pretend that your AK47 is an extension of your penis – that’s pretty well implied, and you can openly express your blatant racism on the back of your car in bumper sticker form! This is where last year’s defending champion Arizona is poised to take on the hottest state in the Flyover League – Montana. While Arizona may be the champions in the last go round, Montana had the best record during the regular season and stacked their state with lots of fresh, young talent and they are poised to go very far in this tournament. Maybe even considered to be favorites to win it and become the new Stupidest State. So let’s get out our brackets, shall we?

[font size="6"]Round 3: Gun Nut Conference: #1 Arizona Vs #2 Montana[/font]

[font size="4"]Arizona[/font]

Next up in our Stupidest State contest, we go to Arizona. My neighbors to the east, is the state that’s the home of the Grand Canyon, and everybody’s favorite batshit crazy governor Jan Brewer. Jan Brewer was instrumental in helping Arizona secure last year’s Stupidest State title and is now looking to actively defend it – both literally and figuratively. Arizona is a state where they actually signed a bill banning the destruction of guns!

PHOENIX — Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer has signed a bill into law that bars cities and counties from destroying guns turned over to police at community buyback events and instead requiring that they be resold.

The bill signed Monday was supported by Republicans and the National Rifle Association and opposed by Democrats.

Backers in the GOP-controlled Legislature argued that destroying any property turned over to the government is a waste of taxpayer resources.

Democrats argued that destroying the guns keep weapons owners no longer want off the streets.

Read more: http://www.therepublic.com/view/story/f09ec71c9441492896d4a1d609bac628/AZ-XGR--Gun-Buybacks

This is also the state where they had a law on the books allowing guns to be sold that were turned into gun buyback programs. Yes, they actually had a plan to recycle guns – and it’s a great plan – zero accountability and more guns in the hands of people who, I don’t know, probably shouldn’t have them!

(Reuters) - Arizona lawmakers, stepping into the contentious national gun control debate, approved a controversial measure on Tuesday mandating that cities and counties resell firearms turned in during gun buyback programs rather than melt them down.

The Republican-controlled Arizona state Senate voted 18-12 to no longer allowed firearms to be destroyed by local municipalities, saying it was a waste of taxpayer money. The state House approved the bill in March.

The measure must now be signed or vetoed by Republican Governor Jan Brewer, a staunch gun rights advocate. A spokesman for the governor declined comment on the fate of the legislation late on Tuesday.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/04/17/us-usa-guns-arizona-idUSBRE93G03N20130417

And besides batshit crazy gun law makers who score A+ ratings with the National Rifle Association (By the way, we may have to explore NRA ratings in a future edition of “How Is This Still A Thing?”), Arizona is also the home of the heavily armed wannabe border patrol group, the Minutemen Militia, who celebrated Donald Trump’s victory and are actively looking forward to building a very useless wall on the Mexico – Arizona border.

As President Donald Trump calls for a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border, a heavily armed group of citizen vigilantes are already carrying out a high-stakes game of cat and mouse there.

ABC News "Nightline" was there as Tim “Nailer” Foley was tracking footprints deep in the heart of some of the roughest and most remote desert Arizona has to offer.

“We believe there is a cartel scout watching our location just to our east,” Foley said. “We’re going to try to do a pinch on him. I got two headed south on this road and they’re going to cut into the wash, and we’re going to go to the top and push down.”
http://abcnews.go.com/US/patrol-heavily-armed-civilian-vigilantes-arizonas-border-mexico/story?id=45201990

Yes these people, while they haven’t yet been classified by the SPLC as a hate group, or by the FBI as potential terrorists, are the kind of people who you wouldn’t want to do business with, and haven’t yet caught one person sneaking over the border. The FBI on the other hand did seize a huge shipment of marijuana. That’s it? Oh, yeah, and never mind that we just made it legal here in California.

Federal authorities arrested a Phoenix woman Tuesday at the Lukeville port of entry when they say she tried to smuggle $180,000 worth of marijuana in a boat.

The 31-year-old woman, who was driving a Chevrolet truck, was hauling a boat filled with nearly 360 pounds of marijuana, according to a U.S. Customs and Border Protection news release.

Drug-sniffing dogs alerted officers to the drugs, authorities said.
http://tucson.com/news/local/border/boat-loaded-with-marijuana-seized-at-arizona-mexico-border-crossing/article_972be398-e9a3-11e6-9d48-6f78823b20e0.html

But in case you’re wondering why Mexico hates the very idea of Donald Trump’s absurd border wall, I give you this.

1. A fence is not the same as a wall

Mexico and the United States share a border that is nearly 2,000 miles long. Until recently, a wall existed along several parts of the border, including Nogales.

The old wall was built from military-surplus metal landing mats and was easy to cut through. It was also easy to climb over. In 2011, construction crews ripped out the old, rusting landing mats and replaced them with bollard-style fencing. The new fencing is higher, and is capped by a 5-foot south-facing metal sheet, making it more difficult to climb over. It also extends 5 feet into the ground, making it harder to burrow under.

<snip>

3. It's a slap in the face to Mexicans working in the U.S.

Peek inside the kitchen of almost any restaurant in America, no matter what type of food is being served, and you will likely find Mexicans, along with Central Americans, doing much of the cooking and cleaning.

Every restaurant in America would "shut down" if the U.S. deported them all, chef and television personality Anthony Bourdain has said. The same would happen to the U.S. agriculture industry, Darin Dykstra, owner of a 3,000-cow dairy farm in northwest Iowa, said in a 2015 interview.

"Americans just don't want to do the work," he said. "If you are going to take the labor supply away in agriculture, dairy particularly, it's going to fall apart."
http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/border-issues/2017/01/27/4-reasons-mexico-hates-president-donald-trumps-border-wall/97102022/

And the other reason why a border wall won’t work? Even the mayors of towns along the Arizona – Mexico border don’t want it, they’d rather have Donald Trump invest that money in rebuilding our nation’s infrastructure:

The 32-year-old mayor of Douglas, Arizona, owns a coffee shop a few blocks from the desert border. When he looks down the worn streets, beyond the crowded bridge that conveys Mexican neighbors into town, his hopes for the future are in danger of being blotted out by President Donald Trump’s wall—that “secure, contiguous, and impassable physical barrier.”

Until a few years ago, Robert Uribe and Donald Trump were themselves neighbors, separated by about 100 blocks of Manhattan sidewalk and skyline. The Dominican Republic-born Uribe got to know New York City at the street level, while Trump looked out from his hotel towers and helicopter rides. Today, they retail politics from the same vantages.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/border-mayor-wants-trump-to-invest-in-roads-not-walls-2017-01-26

All in all Donald Trump is just another prick with a wall. Hey o!!!!

[font size="4"]Montana[/font]

Damn I love Frank Zappa. So next we’re going to Montana. Yes, the Treasure State’s real treasure is a hotbed of racism and white supremacy. It’s the home of Whitefish, Montana. You may not know the town of Whitefish, it’s a ski resort town with a population of 6,649. And they’ve recently gained lots of attention in the press for one of the town’s most prominent citizens, a guy by the name of Richard Spencer. Yes, that Richard Spencer, the guy who many say is the godfather of the “Alternative Right” that helped put Donald Trump in the White House. In fact, Richard Spencer recently got punched in the face at the Women’s March in DC. Can we show that?

And thanks to this incident, he actually started a dialogue on whether it’s OK or not to punch a Nazi. Me personally? I’m in favor of it! And so are the Blues Brothers, Aldo Raine, Indiana Jones, and a million others!

When a KKK-endorsed alleged sexual assaulter can be elected to the White House, many are rightfully fearful. People of colour are increasingly worried about the normalisation of racism. Many once thought racism would get no further than the lips of a racist relative or a poorly-worded Facebook post. Now these views are entering the Oval Office and federal buildings, given weight by chants and placards and verified Twitter accounts.

On 20 January, Richard Spencer, a prominent figure in the “alt-right” movement, was punched in the face while giving an interview in Washington. The punch spawned a number of “punch a Nazi” memes. It could be said that seeing a prominent representative of racist views being punched brings catharsis in a world that appears to be slouching toward Nazism.
https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2017/jan/31/the-punch-a-nazi-meme-what-are-the-ethics-of-punching-nazis

And it’s not a good thing. If you’re familiar with this show, we’ve discussed the armed white supremacist march on Whitefish, so we’ll just remind you of it here. We’ve got an alternate angle on this story.

WHITEFISH – An application for a special event permit from a neo-Nazi website that says it plans an armed march through Whitefish on Martin Luther King Jr. Day arrived at City Hall Monday, but was incomplete.

City Manager Chuck Stearns said the application lacked a certificate showing liability insurance had been purchased, did not include a map of the proposed parade route, and included a money order for $60, less than half the $125 fee required for a large parade.

The Daily Stormer has said it is busing “178 skinheads” from California into Whitefish for the march, and will have approximately 225 people participating, “though only about a third will be armed with machine guns. Others may carry baseball bats or swords, we haven’t decided yet.” True machine guns generally are not hand-held.
http://billingsgazette.com/news/state-and-regional/montana/application-for-armed-skinhead-march-in-whitefish-arrives-but-is/article_9be4aa6e-6c4b-59c4-9aae-b389807f1b10.html

178 skinheads on a bus? That might be the worst party bus ever, although if this bus drove off a cliff, I don’t think anyone would miss it.

But while the idiots forgot to fill out their permit application in full, you might be asking yourself how could this happen here on US soil? Well let’s explore recent history a bit. This is the state that voted to allow meth addicts access to firearms – an extremely terrible idea no matter which way you look at it.

HELENA - A well-known prosecutor trashed a proposed gun rights bill, saying Wednesday that supporters are using deceit to push the politically charged measure.

Supporters had been pointing to a case in Billings where they said a woman who felt threatened was charged with a crime for simply brandishing a gun at a man who came to her door. They said the case is evidence that people are being charged with felonies just for protecting themselves.

Paxinos said the woman, Krystal Keithley, was actually a meth addict. She knew the man at the door was a maintenance man, but decided to "go nutso" anyway and threaten to shoot him after he twice knocked on her door asking she move a car.

He said the proposed gun rights bill gives new rights to criminals and will make it harder for prosecutors to charge criminals who would try to assert a new self defense right under the measure.
http://billingsgazette.com/articles/2007/03/28/news/state/23-gunrights_s.txt

But the skinhead march in Whitefish isn’t the first time armed, angry white guys marched in Helena, the state’s capital. There was this incident from 2011:

About two dozen gun-toting Tea Party activists staged a rally at the Montana statehouse on Friday to support the Second Amendment right to bear arms and limiting the reach of the federal government.

Outnumbered by the media and politicians in attendance, the protesters spoke in favor of conservative-backed bills to nullify various U.S. laws, such as the Endangered Species Act or the newly enacted reform of the nation's healthcare system.

<snip>

Their firearms included handguns and a semi-automatic rifle. But their broad sentiment was in favor of numerous bills introduced in the Montana legislature backing states rights.
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-montana-teaparty-idUSTRE7240EH20110305

Yes, you read that correctly – Montana gun nuts are actively against the Endangered Species Act, the federal law that protects endangered wildlife from becoming extinct thanks to hunters. But getting back to the march on Whitefish, let’s further discuss Montana’s guns and racism, shall we? In fact Montana gun companies who are giddy at the prospect of an all conservative Congress, Senate, and SCOTUS, have been actively debuting new assault rifles. In fact Montana is one of the largest gun manufacturers in the entire country with some 153 different companies:

BILLINGS — American gun sales doubled from about 4.5 million in 2008 to more than 9 million in 2014, but with Donald Trump headed to the White House, Montana’s firearms industry faces new uncertainty.

Upstart arms builders have popped up all across the United States, riding the crest of sales sparked by the national gun debate and fears that President Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton would tighten gun bans.

How this new political climate will affect gun sales is still a question for many of Montana's 153 manufacturers.

Clint Walker, executive vice president of Kalispell gun manufacturer Falkor Defense said Falkor can’t keep up with demand and doesn’t envision their sales slowing anytime soon.
http://missoulian.com/news/state-and-regional/montana-gun-companies-optimistic-as-political-climate-shifts/article_188b2588-5c3a-58b8-ab4a-245ed8e961b6.html

Upstart arms dealers? Man, remember the good old days when people used to make beer in their garages? Does this mean we’ll start seeing “handcrafted” weapons being sold now? I mean shit how bad could this get?

Proposals to loosen gun restrictions in Montana are being revived by Republican lawmakers who are undeterred that similar bills were shot down in past legislative sessions.

Representative Randy Brodehl of Kalispell presented his plan today to allow legislators to carry guns in the capitol and on other state property.

"And so I think that having people that are able to shoot back, willing to shoot back, I think it would be a wise decision," Brodehl says.
http://mtpr.org/post/montana-lawmakers-attempt-loosen-gun-restrictions-state-property

Yes! Wooooooooooooooooooo! Guns in the capitol, ladies and gentlemen! And this isn’t the first time this bill has been proposed either!!! I mean really are there no other problems to solve right now? Is this what we really need at this point is more guns? That would be like throwing a tank of kerosene on a burning building.

And those Montana gun makers will be raking in the dough now that the GOP has once again made it easier for people who shouldn’t have guns to get their hands on them:

The House has voted to scrap an Obama administration regulation extending background checks for disabled Social Security recipients mentally incapable of managing their own affairs.
Read more: http://www.pe.com/articles/incapable-824628-background-security.html

And going back to our original story – according to Trump, the terrorists and skinheads who were planning to intimidate Montana businesses are no longer considered terrorists and skinheads in his eyes. So angry white guy terrorism – which you’re more likely to be killed by whether it’s George Zimmerman or Dylann Roof or Timothy McVeigh or Jeffrey Dahmer – not terrorism. But made up terrorism like the Bowling Green Massacre? It’s terrorism!:

WASHINGTON/SAN FRANCISCO The Trump administration wants to revamp and rename a U.S. government program designed to counter all violent ideologies so that it focuses solely on Islamist extremism, five people briefed on the matter told Reuters.

The program, "Countering Violent Extremism," or CVE, would be changed to "Countering Islamic Extremism" or "Countering Radical Islamic Extremism," the sources said, and would no longer target groups such as white supremacists who have also carried out bombings and shootings in the United States.

Such a change would reflect Trump's election campaign rhetoric and criticism of former President Barack Obama for being weak in the fight against Islamic State and for refusing to use the phrase "radical Islam" in describing it. Islamic State has claimed responsibility for attacks on civilians in several countries.

The CVE program aims to deter groups or potential lone attackers through community partnerships and educational programs or counter-messaging campaigns in cooperation with companies such as Google (GOOGL.O) and Facebook (FB.O).
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-extremists-program-exclusiv-idUSKBN15G5VO?il=0

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is…[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first upset of the tournament! Montana easily hangs on to oust the defending champions by 12 to move onto the Hateful 8. Final score – 85 – 73. Sorry Arizona, you may be border wall crazy, but the real home grown terrorists and racists are in Montana, who are literally poised to make a killing under the new Congress! Next week, we’ll go to the Batshit Conference, where juggernauts #3 Kentucky and #4 Texas will face off in arguably the most anticipated match of the tournament!

[font size="8"]And now this:[/font]
[font size="8"]Slightly Stoopid[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, playing their song “Serious Man”, from their album “Top Of The World”, available in stores everywhere, please welcome Slightly Stoopid!