Join hands with me on this Presidents Day as we savor the Onion's tribute to our new President.

[Miles Archer]

http://www.theonion.com/live/american-presidency-55328/entry/182

Donald Trump



Abusive Stepfather Of The Constitution

Forty-fifth president best known for being so self-obsessed and insecure that he is undoubtedly reading this entry right now in order to find out what we have written about him. Trump, who at this exact moment is most certainly scanning these very words to satisfy a deep-seated, omnipresent, and uncontrollable urge to know what everyone thinks of him at all times, took office after a largely unanticipated Electoral College victory over Democratic Party nominee Hillary Clinton. Having spent decades as a businessman, real estate mogul, and television personality before his presidency, Trump suffers from such a severe inferiority complex that he immediately pored through this feature for his name and is, without a doubt, currently perusing this passage with the desperate hope that we offer him some form of praise and validation. Considered to be one of the most unorthodox leaders in modern American history, Trump is the first U.S. president to have no prior political or military experience and is assuredly livid at present as he reads over the closing words of this entry that characterize him as a fragile, incompetent individual who, despite continual public displays in which he attempts to project the opposite air, is widely regarded as a mere pretender who has rarely if ever succeeded on his own merits.

[NRaleighLiberal]

1. Reading them all - the one on daddy Bush is hilarious..they are all spot on (Taft! LOL!)

[JNelson6563]

6. Johnson! lolz

[dixiegrrrrl]

2. I love wicked funny like this...

thanks for sharing that...

[Ilsa]

3. Burn! Ouch! I love it! nt

[Gothmog]

4. I love the Onion

[dalton99a]

5. Best executive summary of the POS.

[dixiegrrrrl]

7. OMG...what they did on Nixon...wow. n/t

[Wounded Bear]

8. A worthy tribute to an unworthy person....nt

[malthaussen]

9. Carly Simon was more succinct.

But once again, the Onion moves from satire to straight fact.

-- Mal

[N77VG]

10. "Fake News"

about a fake prez...

[Augiedog]

11. Oooooh! Spank

[Pacifist Patriot]

12. Does it go back further than Teddy Roosevelt?

I can't seem to get it to load anything beyond that. Not sure if that's the end or they did all of them and I just can't get to it.

[Zorro]

14. Yes it continues past Teddy Roosevelt

[Pacifist Patriot]

16. Very frustrating. I can't get the aticle to load any further than that.

[erronis]

13. Official Response from the Office of @RealTrumpf: You are all such losers!

Why do you think I would bother looking at your dumb, incredibly dumb posting?

I have much better, bigger, even biggest things to do with my time. For example, at 3:10AM I was taking a Trump Dump and I forgot my Sumsang (Made In China) insecure phone. I tried writing shit on the TP with my longest finger but the crap just wouldn't stick.

So I waited until 4:15 (my bowels are constricted due to the constant lies), and I finally could answer all you losers.

Everyone, even Fox are total news-loozers. Let's jest call the whole group really noozers. You know, they spew news, etc.

Mr. Brightfart is here to make sure I get "all the news that's fit". I think he's taking really good care of our country's interests. I understand that Steve has a lot of inside channels that don't need the loooosers of the Dept. of State to look at. Nor the loooosers of the quote-unquote "intelligence communities". Everyone knows that my intelligence is far higher than any wonk in any agency. Vlad also told me so.

So now (11:23AM) I am finally able to deal with the real issues concerning the POTUS. How are my investments going in the Ukraine? Have I been able to avoid taxes in the EU? I'll assume the Treasury Department and IRS in this looooser country are chasing illegals and small businesses that don't have good legal rep. Oh, by the way, I have the name of a few lawyers, mafia bosses, enforcers that could be used, if you get my grift.

[msanthrope]

15. The Onion--January 2001...You Will Cry...

http://www.theonion.com/article/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros-464