A Friend Needs Help (Vietnam Vet)

[iamthebandfanman]

Last edited Wed Mar 8, 2017, 08:19 PM - Edit history (2)

If anyone could help in any way myself and him would be very appreciative. he is too proud to ask for money or help so I am trying to do it on my own for him. They have given him an extention but needs $600 (or as much as he can get) in the next 30 days to keep the payments on time on his home. he has tried getting help through the VA but doesnt qualify. he is even looking for work and he is 67 years old (hard for him to find work, he worked in a factory and theres little of that work around here)...
i know DU are giving people and i hate to ask for the help ..
but if any of you happen to have anything you could spare im sure it would bring much joy to my friend.
will post updates if money is raised of his reaction.
Thanks a bunch du. Oh, and if you dont have cash to spare (i understand) some well wishes would be nice (i can pass those on too).
THANKS!

https://www.gofundme.com/DMcGowan
https://www.gofundme.com/DMcGowan

EDIT :
I as made aware of a scam that involved gofundme not long ago here on DU. I am truly sorry there are people out there who will exploit peoples kindness. I totally understand if you are skeptical of my pleas and dont wish to donate. Again, if you cant send me money best wishes would be appreciated. I will print them out for him.
Ive been on DU for a long while, just havent posted much in the last few years. i remembered DUs kindness back then but had no idea such a terrible thing had happened.

another EDIT :
Decided to post my facebook.. can be found here : https://www.facebook.com/michael.adair.90
Please know i wouldnt give this out willy nilly .. i dont think ive ever let my real name be known on an internet forum.

[iamthebandfanman]

2. ?

[JNelson6563]

3. there was just a scam here this week.

A very sad, bogus story that sucked in a lot of people and it got a little rough. The timing of your post is a bit unfortunate because of that but, of course, not your fault.

[iamthebandfanman]

4. oh I didnt know

Im sorry to hear that
I had posted this once before in DU back in december I think.. but didnt want to keep posting and be pushy/annoying.

if people dont want to donate because of what happened i understand.

sorry for posting and upsetting people.

[JNelson6563]

7. I figured you didn't know.

[femmedem]

5. You had the misfortune of posting for help only a few days after DUers were scammed.

There was a fake GoFundMe set up claiming that a DUer had been in an auto accident. After proving it fake, people who were taken in are getting their money refunded.

The worst thing about scams like that is that make it harder for legitimate requests for help to be successful.

[iamthebandfanman]

6. so sorry to hear that :(

people take advantage too often these days so i understand any skepticism.
if people would rather not donate because of their previous experience i totally understand.
i had posted this back in december, but didnt continue to do it as i didnt want to be pushy or annoy people with it.
hes had to sell some of his favorite things (guns mostly lol) to keep afloat the last two months.
again sorry for posting. didnt mean to upset people.

[femmedem]

8. No need to apologize.

You're doing a good thing.

[iamthebandfanman]

9. A BIG thank you

to the few of you who have already donated, you know who you.
your trust and sympathy for my step dad is appreciated !
it means a lot! more than youll ever know!

[mshasta]

10. No

Got scam

[iamthebandfanman]

11. sorry

im so sorry that happened to you
id be weary of anyone on the internet asking for money so i completely understand!
positive thoughts and vibes are still appreciated tho !

hopefully my join date on DU will help reassure some folks

[iamthebandfanman]

12. bump nt

[iamthebandfanman]

13. bump nt (sorry to keep bothering everyone)

[riderinthestorm]

14. Kick

[iamthebandfanman]

15. ty n.t.

[renate]

16. could these be helpful?

http://nvf.org/veteran-resources/

http://www.benefits.va.gov/homeloans/documents/docs/foreclosure_avoidance_fact_sheet.pdf

http://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/eviction_prevention_programs.html

https://www.va.gov/homeless/index.asp

http://www.usacares.org/

Or Google "community action organization," "community action agency," or just "community action."

I think St. Vincent de Paul and Catholic Charities can often help with small donations, too.

[iamthebandfanman]

17. thank you for the links!

i will send them to him. i only know that he has talked to the VA on the telephone and doesnt qualify for help on his house payments. i had encouraged him to contact them and see if there were social workers that could help. he said they just sent him to the people who told him he didnt qualify based on income again. he and my mother (they married after i was 18) are living off their social security checks and barely making it.

[renate]

18. has he contacted his local Suicide Prevention Coordinator? And I know he's not suicidal

But in an urgent situation they are good people to call for help.

https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/GetHelp/ResourceLocator.aspx

Maybe there's nothing the VA can do, admittedly. But SPCs try to return calls within 24 hours, so it's a good way to avoid typical VA wait times. And if there's nothing the VA can do, it's better to find out sooner rather than waste time waiting.

I volunteer on a crisis line and I've been told that it's truly okay to contact an SPC even when a person is not suicidal but just in a dire situation, so especially if your friend is appreciative of their time it's really okay for him to call.

Also, if he needs legal advice he may be able to get pro bono help:
https://www.va.gov/ogc/legalservices.asp
http://www.americanbar.org/groups/committees/veterans_benefits/pro_bono_resources_for_veterans.html
https://www.benefits.gov/

You could look for approved foreclosure prevention counselors in your state. If the website suggesting them ends in .gov, it should be okay.

This one I only found through Google so I don't know whether it's legit, so he may need to be cautious:
http://statesidelegal.org/findinghelp

I would also suggest calling the VA again. (Your idea to contact the social workers at his local VA was a very good one.) They are overwhelmed and super busy, and it could be that he talked to somebody who isn't experienced. That doesn't mean they didn't mean well, only that they may not know every source of help out there. I sure don't, and in my relatively short time on a crisis line I've taken a lot of calls from veterans. I'd really suggest calling again until he feels as though he's really exhausted every VA-type option.

Here's a good site for specific questions about the VA:
https://iris.custhelp.com/app/answers/list

One thing many veterans don't even consider is going outside the VA system. Maybe there are churches or housing organizations in his area that could help.

He could try calling his local crisis line. They should have a list of resources in his area. Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, it's totally okay for him to not be in crisis to call. As a volunteer on a crisis line, I promise that it's actually pretty relaxing to get a call from someone who isn't in immediate crisis.

You're a good friend. I'm really glad you're on his side.

[iamthebandfanman]

19. thank you so much

youve found more than i probably ever could on my own !
hes very frustrated with the VA. he feels very abandoned and hes becoming pretty disillusioned with the government and his service. he served two tours in the artillery. youd think thatd mean he didnt see much death, but he has told me he witnessed locals being shot (they were believed to be spies, theyd catch them counting steps from bunkers) and artillery weapons back firing and blowing up.. said there was one that killed 4 of the people manning it that was near him. i dunno how anyone could handle war. braver than me.
thanks again for all your help! ill let you know if anything comes from it. i appreciate it more than you know.
i just hope they can do something before the 30 days are up, hes been told they will start foreclosure if no payment is made during this period.
hope all is well with you and wish us luck!

[renate]

21. some more possible resources

He's probably already contacted a VSO but just in case:

http://nvf.org/veteran-service-officers/

And he could try contacting the American Legion or the VFW to see if they have any ideas. He can also find a service officer through them.

https://www.legion.org/
http://www.vfw.org/

And in case he has PTSD, in addition to help at the VA (which it sounds like he isn't super happy with), there are some online resources:
http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/materials/apps/PTSDCoach.asp (this is actually an app)
http://www.mirecc.va.gov/apps/activities/lifeguard/#&panel1-6

Or he could see if there's a vet center near him where they do counseling:
https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/GetHelp/ResourceLocator.aspx

But of course his main concern is the mortgage. I wish him and you lots of luck with this. Please do let us know how he's doing!

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

20. K&R

[redwitch]

22. kicking to donate later.

Good luck!

[iamthebandfanman]

23. ty! n/t

[iamthebandfanman]

24. kick n/t

[iamthebandfanman]

25. another kick! n/t

[oldtime dfl_er]

26. I expect

that as we move into the Trump years, there will be more and more of this kind of thing. I'm sorry that this man lives in Kentucky where they keep electing idiots who don't care about people like this man.

That said, I will donate when I get paid next week. I'm a trusting person.

[iamthebandfanman]

28. Ty!

anything helps!

And yes, if it werent for the raw beauty of the state none of my family would live here!

[Panich52]

27. Kick

[iamthebandfanman]

29. ty! n/t

[Panich52]

32. Since I can't help w/$, least I could do.

[iamthebandfanman]

33. ty just the same

[tblue37]

30. K&R for visibility! nt

[iamthebandfanman]

31. ty! n/t

[iamthebandfanman]

34. bump nt (sorry to keep bothering everyone)

[iamthebandfanman]

35. kick n/t

[iamthebandfanman]

36. bump! And asking others to tell me keep on front page!

[iamthebandfanman]

37. shameless kick n.t

[iamthebandfanman]

37. shameless kick n.t

[iamthebandfanman]

39. shameless kick n.t

[renate]

40. Have you called his SPC?

You can call yourself, if he doesn't want to.

I'm so sorry you and he are still struggling with this.

[iamthebandfanman]

41. thank you

i passed on the information but i dont know for sure whether he has contacted them. thank you for all ur help, this stuff is super confusing to me. its a shame vets have to go through so many hurdles.

[iamthebandfanman]

42. please help

running out of time to make the payment. hes looking into other means through the VA but they act like itll take weeks to a month. he doesnt have that much time.

[iamthebandfanman]

43. kick n/t

[iamthebandfanman]

44. kick n/t

[iamthebandfanman]

45. kick n/t

[iamthebandfanman]

46. still need help n/t

[iamthebandfanman]

47. Last time Ill kick n/t thanks to those who have helped