General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTop 10 Conservative Idiots #2-14: Wheel Of Corruption's Home For Peculiar Children Edition
Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-14: Wheel Of Corruptions Home For Peculiar Children Edition
Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Now available in single packs. Ask your doctor. We are back everybody! You know when we take a week off here, in a world where our president lives off Twitter and theres enough craziness happening 24 hours a week, theres a lot that we miss. And of course this being a weekly show, these things have a shelf life. But one thing I do want to talk about, one of my favorite comedians David Cross, and his wife Amber Tamblyn welcomed their baby daughter into the world this week (yeah tough break kid look at who the president is! ), and this was their announcement: "David and I are proud to announce the birth of our daughter, Dauphinoise Petunia Brittany Scheherazade Von Funkinstein Mustard Witch RBG Cross Tamblyn-Bey jr.,". I just want the name Von Funkenstein. That is hilarious! Got to love it when two smart and creative people get together like that! So enough of the intro this week. You know its been relatively silent in the Trump camp maybe his staff figured out a way to keep him from pissing off our foreign dignitaries and allies this week. But first we have to play Bill Mahers amazing new rule from a couple of weeks ago about the Magic R.
That was beautiful! So where do we begin this week? The Wheel Of Corruption is back everybody! Yayyyyyyyyyyy!!!! The kids, the kids love the wheel dont they? Yes its been dormant for a while but were digging it out from where it was buried next to the Arc Of The Covenant. To start with we have a newcomer to the top slot Milo Yinnapolous (1). We missed his rise and fall by being off last week so we have to talk about it. At slot number 2, were going to recap all the wackiness happening at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). And whew, holy crap. Conservatives, keep doing what youre doing. At number 3 is Louis Gohmert (3). One of the people who we covered in People Who Somehow Got Elected. Hes got a jaw-dropping reason as to why hes avoiding facing his constituents in town hall meetings! Taking the 4th, 5th, and 6th slots is of course our 45th president Donald J. Trump. In the 4th slot, were going to talk about Mr. Alternate Facts once again getting it wrong when it comes to how much time he has spent golfing since he took office. At number 5, is Donald Trump again. And this time theres more hate crimes being committed in Trumps name and hes once again not doing anything about it. This is what we call The Trump Effect. At number 6, we're going to talk about some random happenings in the Donald Trump (6) camp including a bizarre piece of merchandise available for the people with more money than brains crowd. In the seventh slot, is the return of the Bathroom Police (7). So Trump went through with his campaign promise to take trans rights back to the stone ages, and its called the ire of just about everybody you can think of, and actual trans people are speaking out. At the number 8 slot, weve got a Twitter beef for you ladies and gentlemen. This time its between former Seinfeld star Jason Alexander and Trumps new Homeland Security Advisor General H.R. McMaster. And if theres one thing you dont do, you dont fuck with George Costanza. The man is a god damn national treasure. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot, were going to talk about the Trump effect again because there was a lot of it last week. Finally, this week were continuing the next round of our Stupidest State contest. Were going back to the Batshit Conference where this time its a heavily favored state to win the whole thing Florida and theyre taking on extremely hot newcomer Maine! Plus we have some more new live music for you! This time, our friends the Dropkick Murphys will be returning to play from their great new album 11 Short Stories Of Pain And Glory. If you dont have this, youre missing out. Enjoy! And as always dont forget the key!
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]
Come on everybody say it with me. Its time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!! Yayyyyyyyyy!!!
The wheel is back everybody! Its been dormant for a while but were bringing it back! Mainly because we ran out of terrible sequel titles, so were resorting to semi-popular movies now. And theres quite a few new items on it. And of course if we had a bigger budget wed have our own graphics and theme music. The wheel is back everybody!! yes just like last time Ill talk about whatever the wheel lands on. But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra. So this week the items on the wheel will be:
- Gun Nuts
- Go Directly To Jail
- Clip Without Context
- Guacamole
- 5,000
- Dating
- Thanksgiving
- Whammy
- Community Chest
- Bankrupt
- Voter Fraud
- Nazis
- Booze
- Chance
- Buy A Vowel
- Donald Trump
- My Wife
- Seinfeld
- Bathrooms
- Whammy
- A Recent Study
- CPAC
- Guns
- Stupidest State Contest
- VR Headset
- Whammy
- Remix
- People Who Somehow Got Elected
- 10,000
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Talk Shows
- Golf
- 15,000
- Hate Crimes
- A Random Tweet
- Conspiracy Theories
- Russia
- Something random in the news
- VR Headset
- ??? (Mystery)
- Florida (Obviously)
- Infowars
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin
So spin that shit! And it lands on wait for it The ??? Mystery Item! Ladies and gentlemen, Im being told we have a new #1 conservative idiot this week. Just let me open this envelope here and its Donald J. Trump! Oh shit, Donald Trump is the number one conservative idiot for the 14th week in a row! Take a bow, well done! So last week Donald Trump tweeted this:
Link to tweet
So there were Pro Trump rallies held on Monday. Yes, they were big, ladies and gentlemen! Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge! Can we show what they looked like?
Link to tweet
Theres tens of people here. Yes, tens! There are dozens of us! Like this photo that surfaced from a one-person rally in my home town of Brea, CA!
You could replace Donald Trump with the cardboard cutout of him, and the cutout would have more personality. Which begs the question if one person holds a rally, did it really happen? Oh wait, what? My producer is telling me that I have the wrong envelope. I have the wrong envelope? Oh shit!!! Really? Ladies and gentlemen, we have an upset here! The number one idiot this week is actually Milo Yiannopolous! Take a bow!
[font size="8"]Milo Yiannopolous[/font]
Lets get it going! Spin that shit! Come on, no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! Talk shows! And one in specific here, one of our favorites here at the Top 10 home office. Im of course talking about Real Time With Bill Maher. Lets roll the tape first.
The first guest on this Friday's Real Time with Bill Maher will be alt-right troll and Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos, according to a press release from HBO. The appearance comes on the heels of a massive protest that blocked Yiannopoulos from delivering a scheduled speech on the University of Calfornia, Berkeley campus. Late last year, Simon & Schuster came under fire for giving Yiannopoulos a $250,000 book deal that many would believed would be used to spread "hate speech." Maher, who has long been a defender of free speech at all costs, will interview Yiannopoulos one-on-one at the top of his show before bringing on a panel that will include former Rep. Jack Kingston (R-GA), journalist Jeremy Scahill, and comedian Larry Wilmore.
And so that happened. So what happened after was pretty much the downfall of Milo Yinnapolous and it was quite the downward spiral after that. Because this happened:
The right-wing provocateur recalled his own sexual abuse as a teen and did not appear to outright condemn similar relationships between children and men on a 2016 episode of "The Drunken Peasants" podcast.
He flippantly said young boys "discover who they are" through such relationships, later implying that those relationships can be sexual in nature, and can "give them security and safety and provide them with love and a reliable rock where they can't speak to their parents.
A host with the popular podcast fired back at Yiannopoulos and said, "Sounds like Catholic priest molestation to me."
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/video-shows-milo-yiannopoulos-speaking-fondly-pedophilia-article-1.2977071
I like that one! And so what happened after that? So that video linked. We wont show it here, because we dont want to encourage this kind of thing. But you can find it yourself and trust me, its a gem. And you might be thinking Gee! I know, what about that $250K book deal that Milo signed? Well, it got canceled.
Yiannopoulos book, titled Dangerous, was described as covering issues of free speech. He received a $250,000 advance from Simon & Schusters Threshold imprint, which has also released books by Glenn Beck and Donald Trump. At the time, Simon & Schuster defended the decision, saying it published a wide range of authors with greatly varying, and frequently controversial opinions ... While we are cognizant that many disagree vehemently with the books we publish we note that the opinions expressed therein belong to our authors, and do not reflect either a corporate viewpoint or the views of our employees. At least one author, feminist writer Roxane Gay, pulled their work from Simon & Schuster in response.
http://www.theverge.com/2017/2/20/14675418/milo-yiannopoulos-simon-schuster-dangerous-book-deal-canceled-pedophilia-tape
And then as if things couldnt get any worse Bill Maher was taking credit for his fall.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2017/02/22/bill-maher-takes-credit-for-milo-yiannopoulos-s-fall.html?via=desktop&source=copyurl
And:
[font size="8"]CPAC[/font]
Spin it to win it! And it lands on . Wait for it . Chance! Ill just draw from the pile of Chance cards in front of me.
Nice. I get a Get Out Of Jail Free card. Ill just put that away for later. Spin it again! And it lands on CPAC. The conference that makes you go How come theres no LPAC? Because the CPAC is conservative stupidity and ignorance put up on a pedestal. Its the conservative equivalent of a science fiction convention. You know theres not going to be any differing opinions. But you do know that theres going to be a lot of like-minded individuals. And theres going to be a lot of in-fighting among true fans of the movement. Although unlike a Star Trek convention, Im not even going to point out how CPAC attendees behaved so horribly that it was a cause for alarm from the Gaylord Hotel that it was being hosted at. Because you probably already knew that. For instance this was an actual panel at CPAC.
CPAC, which is scheduled to begin on Thursday, has already had a bad week after having to dump star attraction Milo Yiannopoulos as a keynote speaker after it was revealed that he appeared to condone and excuse child sex abuse. After a messy start to the week , the directors of the annual conservative meeting in D.C. had hoped to move forward with serious discussions about public policy.
That wasnt to be the case after a schedule of panels was released showing a seminar combining President Donald Trumps plans to build a border wall with Christian theology, reports the Christian Post.
According to the CPAC schedule, GOP Congressman Bob Beauprez will moderate the Saturday panel, entitled: If Heaven Has a Gate, A Wall, and Extreme Vetting, Why Cant America?
https://www.rawstory.com/2017/02/conservative-cpac-gathering-gets-hilariously-mocked-for-heaven-has-a-wall-why-cant-us-panel/
That doesn't sound like heaven. That sounds more like hell. Conservatives, keep doing what you're doing.
And then this happened. You know republicans just dont get humor. They really dont. If humor is a sign of intelligence, then what is their lack of humor? Remember 10 years ago when conservatives mocked John Kerry at CPAC when they gave themselves Purple Hearts? Which not only showed how heartless they were, but it really put their ignorance of what our active military really goes through?
Flash forward to 2017. I give you the Donald Trump era equivalent
The trouble began when some attendees took out pro-Trump flags to wave during the presidents speech that also happened to have the same white-blue-and-red striped pattern as Russias official flag.
Reporter Peter Hamby notes that CPAC staffers quickly realized that its attendees were waving Russian flags, and moved to confiscate them.
In addition to the attendees waving Russian flags, journalist Sarah Posner reports at least one attendee was spotted wearing a Make Russia Great Again t-shirt.
http://www.rawstory.com/2017/02/cpac-scrambles-to-control-damage-after-attendees-wave-russian-flags-during-trump-speech/
Yeah so that happened. I really want to see the Make Russia Great Again t-shirt. I mean really, how stupid do you have to be to put that on? In fact Trump took to CPAC to bash his favorite punching bag the mainstream media. Can we roll the tape on that?
"I called the fake news the enemy of the people, and they are," Trump said. "There are some terrible dishonest people and they do a tremendous disservice to our country."
He specifically railed against reporters' use of anonymous sources and demanded that people who leak information to the press instead criticize him to his "face."
"I'm against the people that make up stories and make up sources," he said. "They shouldn't be allowed to use sources unless they use somebody's name. Let their name be put out there."
http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/02/trump-lashes-out-negative-media-coverage-cpac-speech
And Trump loves him some ratings doesnt he? I mean man this guy is *OBSESSED* with ratings. I have the best ratings, OK? Nobody has better ratings than I do! I get seven stars out of 5 stars on Yelp, thats how good I am!
It was a statement at odds with the quiet scene outside the Gaylord National Resort and Convention Center where CPAC is taking place.
There were no lines getting into the Gaylord within the hour before Trump began speaking Friday morning.
"There are lines that go back six blocks. I tell you that because you wont read about it," Trump said during his address.
He doubled down on calling the media "the enemy of the people," to cheers from the crowd.
Read more: http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/320988-trump-falsely-claims-lines-go-back-6-blocks-for-cpac-speech
[font size="8"]Louis Gohmert[/font]
Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! And it lands on Infowars! This guy is a presidential advisor. I will repeat that: this guy is a presidential advisor.
Spin it again! Guns. Specifically a gun-nut batshit insane congressmen from Texas, Louis Gohmert. If you havent seen where we covered Louis Gohmert in People Who Somehow Got Elected, I highly suggest you check out Idiots #29 if you havent done so already! But what did he do this week? Well
"Unfortunately, at this time there are groups from the more violent strains of the leftist ideology, some even being paid, who are preying on public town halls to wreak havoc and threaten public safety. Threats are nothing new to me and I have gotten my share as a felony judge," Rep. Louie Gohmert told constituents in a letter Tuesday.
"However, the House Sergeant at Arms advised us after former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot at a public appearance, that civilian attendees at congressional public events stand the most chance of being harmed or killed -- just as happened there," he wrote.
Giffords, a former Arizona Democrat, was shot in the head in January 2011 at a "Congress on Your Corner" event near a Tucson grocery store.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/23/politics/louie-gohmert-gabby-giffords/
And how did Giffords herself stand up to Gohmert? Well this happened.
Threats are nothing new to me and I have gotten my share as a felony judge, he wrote. However, the House Sergeant at Arms advised us after former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords was shot at a public appearance, that civilian attendees at Congressional public events stand the most chance of being harmed or killedjust as happened there. Giffords issued a response that shows just how dishonest an excuse this is from Gohmert:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/2/23/1637008/-Gabby-Giffords-to-Louie-Gohmert-Have-some-courage-Face-your-constituents
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]
Lets give the wheel a nice strong spin, shall we? Ooh that felt good. What does it land on? Conspiracy theories!
I just cant get over this. That guy is now a presidential advisor. No matter how many times I say that it sounds weird. I wish I were making this up! And by the way if you can get through this bizarre report from Der Spiegel about Alex Jones and not want to puke, you good sir / madam have a much stronger stomach than I do!. Youll never look at a BBQ sausage the same way ever again. Spin it again! Golf. Specifically, presidents golfing.
So Donald Trump spent so much time the last two years talking shit about how much time Obama spent golfing, when he should have been, oh, I dont know presidenting. Lets throw a couple of Tweets up there, shall we?
Holy shit, thats a lot of tweets about Obama golfing. And there was a recent study of how much time Trump has spent on various issues since he took office.
https://img.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=&w=1484
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/02/21/how-donald-trump-spent-his-first-month-in-office-by-the-numbers/?utm_term=.85e2de80df70
Holy shit! He spent more time not working than when he actually did any real work! But how hypocritical is Trumps stance on golf? Lets explore this further:
One possible reason: Trump was a frequent and vocal critic of President Barack Obama's golf habit, regularly slamming the former president for playing golf with many pressing issues before the country. Trump even suggested during a 2016 event in Virginia, in a knock on Obama, that if elected he was "not going to have time to go play golf."
"I'm going to be working for you, I'm not going to have time to go play golf," Trump said at the time.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/20/politics/donald-trump-golfing-presidency/
And in fact even Hillary Clinton herself got in on Trumps hypocrisy:
Hillary Clinton, who lost the electoral vote to Trump, retweeted a Washington Post chart that showed the 45th POTUS spent 25 of his first 744 hours in the Oval on the golf course.
The Post estimated that Trump was at his his Mar-a-Lago resort for about a quarter of his first month in office, including a full days worth of golf.
http://www.sbnation.com/2017/2/23/14705162/hillary-clinton-donald-trump-rory-mcilroy-golf
I like that one!
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]
Spin it to win it! And it lands on .. Clip without context!
Spin it again! And it lands on Donald Trump! I am having a lot of fun at Alex Jones expense this week! And I mean what good is it when you live in a world without freedom of the press? I mean we live in a world where this happened:
Link to tweet
Its been a lot of fun? What the fuck? Did you see his Super Bowl party? I mean yeah they look like theyre having a lot of fun here!
And he left his own party early. But heres one of the craziest things this week in regards to Donald J. Trumps policies.
I was in New York City at the time of the inauguration, staying in a house in Brooklyn. My hosts had gone out to work, and I was alone as the realization that no last minute miracle had spared us from Trump truly sank in. I was chilled, and spent the day in a fog of anxiety, as did tens of millions of other Americans.
The following day, the Womens March played a hugely important role in establishing the resistance to Trump. Millions of women (and supportive men), inspired by opposition to Trumps misogyny, marched in Washington, D.C., in New York and in other cities across the US and around the world. I wrote about the inspiring New York event here, and my photos are here.
That evening, I returned to the UK, but what was apparent to me from my two weeks in the US (from Jan. 9-21, scheduled in particular to coincide with the 15th anniversary of the opening of Guantánamo) was how a figure as divisive as Trump ought, at the very least, to be capable of inspiring a huge new peoples movement against him, uniting all those opposed to his bigotry, his misogyny, his corrupt business dealings the list could go on and on.
http://www.andyworthington.co.uk/2017/01/30/trumps-dystopian-america-the-unforgivable-first-ten-days/
I love that cartoon by the way! So by now you should be made aware that Trumps travel ban is having a dramatic effect on America and not in a good way! But oh no my friends, Trump is promising a military buildup the likes of which America has never seen. And you know who the last guy who promised that was? I cant quite put my finger on it
Trump described his upcoming budget proposal as a public safety and national security budget" Monday morning. He claimed it would include a historic increase in defense spending and said that funding for domestic law enforcement would be substantially increased.
Still, in comments that were surprisingly blunt, Trump denounced the United States' 21st century militarism in the Middle East and said he would not fight wars that we dont fight to win.
We don't fight to win. We don't fight to win. So we either have to win or don't fight it at all, he said. But where we are, 17 years, almost 17 years of fighting in the Middle East, we're up I saw a chart the other day as of about a month ago, $6 trillion we've spent in the Middle East, $6 trillion. And I want to tell you that's just unacceptable.
Read more: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/trump-military-spending-domestic-law-enforcement-budget
Despite the fact that the DHS is finding that the seven countries named in Donald Trumps illegal, immoral, and wrong travel ban arent the threat that Donald Trump claims they are. I mean these guys really do live on another planet dont they?
The president asked for an intelligence assessment, a senior administration official told the Journal. This is not the intelligence assessment the president asked for.
Trump administration officials claim that the report failed to include available evidence that supports the presidents Jan. 27 order barring citizens from Syria, Iraq, Iraq, Libya, Yemen, Sudan and Somalia from entering the U.S.
Link: http://thehill.com/policy/national-security/321165-white-house-rebuffs-dhs-report-finding-little-evidence-to-support
Shit! Really, Donald? I mean even the former director of the CIA is saying youre not helping!
I don't think the travel ban is going to help in any significant way, Brennan told CBS John Dickerson on Face the Nation.
Brennan suggested that its more important to focus on terrorist recruitment activity online. What they need to do is to, again, take into account all the various means that terrorist groups use to try to carry out attacks here in the homeland, he said. And the cyber domain is the area where most of the terrorist groups now are operating in a very freewheeling fashion.
http://www.politico.com/story/2017/02/trump-travel-ban-brennan-terrorism-235415
By the way, I have to mention Slow Trump. I couldnt love this more!
Link to tweet
[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]
Spin it to win it! And it lands on . Wait for it . Guns! So this happened at CPAC this weekend:
Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! We are not violent, the people infiltrating the protests most likely paid by Breitbart, are. Go fuck yourself, Wayne! Oh and by the way, Wayne, we liberals pack heat too! Hey, I know what country I live in!
Spin it again! And it lands on .. Donald Trump! One last thing about CPAC before we dive head first into more Donald Trump insanity. So you know that whole thing we mentioned earlier about conservatives waving Russian flags with Trump on them? Turns out . They got punked!
At the same time, the speech itself really only deepened the questions around Trump and Russia. He denounced the Washington Post reporting that led to National Security Adviser Michael Flynns firing, for example, as having been based on fake sources. But if the sources were fake, then why did he fire Flynn? Then he specifically denounced the whole idea of stories based on anonymous sources. But just hours ago, the Trump White House held an anonymous briefing with senior White House officials to deny reports that Chief of Staff Reince Priebus had made improper contact with the FBI regarding the investigation.
http://www.vox.com/2017/2/24/14725950/russian-flag-cpac
And in case youre wondering if Trump fans couldnt be any more classless, I give you the Make America Great Again rings! Yes for the low, low price of $2,500, you too can own your own Trump championship rings! What? Do you want your own net to cut down while One Shining Moment plays? Ill give you that!
#45 Our Nations New Lucky Number
This handsomely crafted ring commemorates President Trumps inauguration as well as a historic turning point in American politics. Be a part of the rally for revolutionary change!
https://www.magaring.com/products/the-trump-45-14kt-gold-with-diamond-ring
I have many questions. First off, I love that they use past-tense Made America Great Again. And second, what the fuck? And third seriously? And fourth I mean no really, seriously? This is for people with more money than brains. Oh how I wish I had that problem! But getting back to more Trump madness. Like I said in the previous entry, Trump wants a Hitler-esque military buildup the likes of which has never been seen before. And the DHS shot down the idea of a threat. So what else has Trumps travel ban done?
Following President Donald Trump's controversial executive order on immigration in late January, tourism interest to America has plummeted. Paris-based flight comparison site liligo reported an 11.6% decline in European searches to the United States in the weeks following the so-called travel ban.
Historically, it should be a peak period, said Eric Urbain, liligos U.S. Marketing Director. We do see a very clear negative trend line.
Using data from the UK, Italy, Spain, France and Germany, the study looked at searches from January 1 February 8, comparing them with data from the previous year. Italy reported the greatest decline, with a 17% decrease in search following the ban. Interest from Germany dropped 14%. The site receives over half a million searches a day.
In addition to suspending the United States' refugee program, the immigration order targeted nationals from Iran, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria and Yemen, temporarily barring them from entry into the United States. These countries were chosen as high-risk for terrorist threats, despite the fact that between 1975 and 2015, foreign nationals from these seven Muslim-majority countries have killed zero Americans on US soil, according to the Cato Institute.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/alexandratalty/2017/02/22/european-tourism-interest-in-america-plummets-12-percent-following-travel-ban/#3cde6f4162f8
And what else has Trumps travel ban done to America? I dont know what their end game is, but it seems like Americas isolation and the rise of a totalitarian religious theocratic state is their ultimate goal here. And with President Steve Bannon at the helm, they might just do that. And they just dont get what theyre doing is bad. I mean this is a megalomaniac who must be stopped!
In a speech to the Conservative Political Action Conference on Friday, Trump outlined what he called his administration's "swift and strong action to secure the southern border." He said his administration would be "throwing" gang members, drug dealers and criminal aliens out of the country and "will not let them back in."
Until there are more details of the plan, much of which will require congressional approval, estimates are sketchy. But by any full accounting, the fiscal and economic costs would be huge.
http://www.cnbc.com/2017/02/24/trumps-deportation-plan-could-cost-half-a-trillion-dollars.html
Jesus, these people suck.
[font size="8"]The Bathroom Police[/font]
Spin it to win it! And it lands on . Wait for it .. Something random in the news!
And its the Star Wars Cantina band.
That, anyway, is the word from Spotify, which reported that Australians love banging to Frank Ocean, Trey Songz, and Kings of Leon. But also these dudes.
http://www.dailydot.com/parsec/australia-spotify-sexy-song-star-wars-cantina-band/
Spin it again! Bathrooms! Sigh the bathroom police won. And they keep winning. Despite that we voted out original bathroom police founder Pat McCrory, North Carolina still cant overturn the piece of shit legislation known as HB-2. Well now its gone national. This week Trump and wannabe slave holder Jeff Sessions voted to overturn Obamas protection on transgender rights. Despite that the last person to be arrested for a bathroom crime is none other than Minnesotas Larry Wide Stance Craig. You really cant make this shit up. But I do love John Oliver. Lets roll the tape first.
Opposition to the guidelines -- which were introduced by former President Barack Obama -- often centres on the issue of safety. Our daughters should never be forced to share private, intimate spaces with male classmates, even if those young men are struggling with these issues, Vicki Wilson - a member of Students and Parents for Privacy - told reporters shortly before the guideline was rescinded. It violates their right to privacy and harms their dignity.
But Oliver argues that those fears are rooted in bigoted fear-mongering instead of fact.
But remember Jackie Evancho? The attractive, talented 16 year old singer who Donald Trump courted to sing the national anthem at his very poorly attended (False! Fake news! My inauguration was yuuuge! Bigly ratings!) inauguration? Well she is none too pleased with the trans ruling on bathrooms, because her sister is trans:
But now that the Trump administration has withdrawn federal guidance that enabled students to use the public school bathrooms matching their chosen gender identities, Jackie is speaking up. Her sister Juliet is transgender, and their family is involved in a lawsuit against Juliets school district over her right to use the womens bathroom. Jackie has asked for a meeting with the president, and as of now it looks like that meeting could move forward.
http://www.newsweek.com/trump-transgender-bathroom-jackie-evancho-sister-560843
But there is good news on this front, I dont want you to think the Top 10 is all about negativity, no good sir / maam. NBA commissioner Adam Silver says that the NBA will monitor bathroom laws:
While giving his annual state of the NBA address at All-Star Weekend in New Orleans, commissioner Adam Silver discussed the bill currently under consideration in Texas and placed any state considering legislation similar to North Carolina's bathroom law on "notice".
"I mean, I'm not ready to stand here today and say that that is the bright line test for whether or not we will play All-Star Games in Texas," Silver said, via ESPN. "[But] it's something we're, of course, going to monitor very closely. What we've stated is that our values, our league-wide values in terms of equality and inclusion are paramount to this league and all the members of the NBA family, and I think those jurisdictions that are considering legislation similar to HB2 are on notice that that is an important factor for us. Those values are an important factor for us in deciding where we take a special event like an All-Star Game."
http://www.sportingnews.com/nba/news/adam-silver-nba-texas-bathroom-bill-travel-ban-concern/1gc0raokoccq61a5c5iytzzll7
And then theres this:
The tech leader said in a statement that it "believes everyone deserves a chance to thrive in an environment free from stigma and discrimination."
"We support efforts toward greater acceptance, not less, and we strongly believe that transgender students should be treated as equals," the statement continued. "We disagree with any effort to limit or rescind their rights and protections."
The Obama-era protections rolled back by Trump on Wednesday allowed transgender students to use bathrooms and facilities that correspond with their gender identity. The Trump administration said the rules should instead be decided at the state level. .
http://money.cnn.com/2017/02/23/technology/apple-trump-transgender-rights/
And if youre wondering where the sex offenders have been, theyve been kind of silent lately. But there was this:
Kevin Seymour, 38, and Kevin Paul Taylor, 49, said they were biking home from dinner late Wednesday night when a tourist in a scooter called them faggots and a slew of other anti-gay remarks, according to the police report. The scooter knocked Seymours bike, throwing him to the ground.
We were victims of a hate crime last night biking home from dinner. He kept stopping in front of us and swerving into us. Finally Kevin got ahead of him and the guy charges him with his scooter and runs into him and knocks him off his bike. Kevin is okay, Taylor wrote on his Facebook page, according to FL Keys News.
http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2017/02/gay-couple-attacked-man-moped-live-trump-country-now/
[font size="8"]George Costanza Vs. H.R. McMaster[/font]
Spin it to win it! That was a nice spin there. And it lands on go directly to jail??? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Wait, Ive got that get out of jail free card! Yes! Spin it again! And it lands on REMIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now spin it again! And it lands on a new item on the wheel Twitter beefs! We need some appropriate music for this entry. Can we get that?
Specifically one from comedy legend and the guy who is arguably the greatest character in TV sitcom history Jason Alexander, AKA George Costanza. And on the other end? Michael Flynns replacement for Trumps National Security advisor and name sake for a British fish & chips restaurant, H.R. McMaster. Come to H.R. McMasters, we have great fish & chips! So specifically heres what started the whole thing.
9. He was a national security affairs fellow at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University from 2002 to 2003.
10. In a 2013 talk, McMaster referenced TV's "Seinfeld" when explaining how to fight a ground war. "The word 'decisive' can be problematic," McMaster said. "You don't want it construed as the old rapid decisive operations, you know, which I liken to the George Costanza on 'Seinfeld' 'Leave on an up note.' You know what I mean. Just go in, do a lot of damage and leave. What have you really achieved if you do that?"
https://www.usnews.com/news/national-news/articles/2017-02-21/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-hr-mcmaster
Wait go back! He advocates fighting a fucking war, the same way this happened!
Ya think he might have misread the context of that episode? All right, thats it for me! Youve been great! Goodnight everybody! So how did Jason Alexander himself respond after he found this out?
President Donald Trump recently named Lt. Gen. H.R. McMaster to be his latest national security adviser, and for a bit of fun, CNN's Jake Tapper shared a clip from a few years ago in which the general made a Seinfeld reference while taking about military strategy.
McMaster, during the first annual Future of War Conference in 2015, compared Rapid Decisive Operations to George Costanza leaving a room after a comedic high note, a classic joke from the 1998 episode, "The Burning."
A fan pointed the reference out through Twitter to Jason Alexander, who wasn't too impressed to see his iconic TV character quoted in such fashion.
"Yes, I"m so proud....dear God ," Alexander responded.
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/jason-alexander-responds-gen-mcmasters-george-costanza-seinfeld-reference-978415
And heres one of my favorite parts of this whole thing. It didnt only just start between Jason Alexander and HR McMaster. Twitter users, like they do, had to weigh their own opinions on the subject.
Needless to say, that did not go over well with some Trump supporters who began trolling the actor for speaking his mind.
Alexander fired right back, telling some of his critics he would not "shut his mouth" simply because he is an entertainer.
"And lastly, my comment intended no disrespect to Gen. McMaster, who seems a fine man. Just the weirdness of any leader quoting 'George,'" Alexander wrote.
See all of Alexander's back and forth and the classic joke below:
http://www.blabber.buzz/entertainment/television/104018-jason-alexander-responds-to-weirdness-of-gen-mcmasters-george-costanza-reference#info
Wait wait wait. Lets extrapolate this for a minute. So the people who want to run Ted Nugent and Kid Rock for senate in Michigan are telling Jason Alexander that celebrities should stay out of politics? Yeah thats an epic fail. Hey, Hr. McMaster, heres how you go out on a fucking high note:
[font size="8"]The Trump Effect[/font]
Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! Clip without context!
I have to say Im with the witches on this one! Spin it again! Donald Trump. So there was a lot of the Trump effect at work last week. And in case youre still wondering what that is, its all the racism, sexism, homophobia, racism, bigotry, and misogyny that has been the direct result of having Trump in office. And sadly its not going away any time soon. Its been getting violent and crazy and if you encounter any of these people I suggest you run to the nearest authorities because shit like this happens:
A swastika drawn in human waste was recently discovered in a gender-neutral bathroom in a dormitory at the Rhode Island School of Design.
This level of disrespect and vitriol is completely unacceptable and RISD Public Safety is investigating this isolated incident as both an act of vandalism and potentially a crime of hate, Jaime Marland, director of RISD public relations, said in a statement to The Huffington Post.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/swastika-gender-neutral-bathroom_us_58b089b2e4b060480e07c083?hulf7alo9jxp52vs4i&
OK theres so much wrong with that story. I mean drawing a swastika is bad enough. But if your medium is human feces, what message does that send? It doesnt say Im a raging racist, it says I like to play with shit!. And if you send that message, someone should take you away for a nice little chat. Thank you! But were not done yet. There was also this incident:
Adam Purinton, 51, was taken into custody at a bar in an Applebee's in Clinton, Missouri, after telling an employee he had just shot 'Middle Eastern' men and needed a place to hide.
He was arrested about five hours after police say he opened fire at Austin's Bar and Grill in Olathe, Kansas.
The deadly confrontation began unfolding inside the lounge at around 7.15pm on Wednesday and later spilled out into the parking lot.
Police say Purinton shot and killed Srinivas Kuchibhotla, an engineer at Garmin, wounded his colleague Alok Madasani.
He then fired at a third man, identified as Ian Grillot, who had tried to intervene.
At least one witness said Purtinton yelled 'get out of my country' and claimed he heard him screaming racial slurs before opening fire, according to Kansas City Star.
The 51-year-old veteran apparently thought Kuchibhotla and Madasani were Middle Eastern, although in reality both men were of Indian decent.
Kuchibhotla died at an area hospital and Alok Madasani and Ian Grillot were hospitalized, the latter suffering from wounds to his hand and shoulder.
Jesus. I mean Trump has blood on his hands now. But you know in a world where alternate facts are a thing, is it really surprising that Trump hasnt denounced any of these acts of terror committed by his fans? Seriously?
And no mention of angry white-bred terrorism from the White House. Theyll acknowledge fake terror attacks are happening, but not real ones.
The threats came after hundreds of headstones were overturned at a Jewish cemetery in Philadelphia over the weekend. According to a report by WPVI, more than 500 headstones were damaged in what police called an act of vandalism, though they did not attribute a specific cause.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/new-wave-bomb-threats-to-jewish-community-centers
And we can't even tell fucking jokes anymore! Trump fans are the snowflakes they accuse us liberals of being on a daily basis. I mean shit this happened at a comedy club in Hermosa Beach this week!
A woman in the front row of the comedian's show yelled out several profanities and threw her glass at Caparulo after he made an anti-Trump joke.
Caparulo was performing at The Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach, Calif. and he made a phallic joke about the Washington Monument and Trump.
It did not sit well with a few of his audience members.
In a video obtained by TMZ, two women in the crowd went off on the comedian yelling, "F--k you" several times. As they got up to leave, one of them threw her glass at close-range directly at the comedian.
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2017/03/01/woman-throws-glass-at-comedian-john-caparulo-over-anti-trump-joke.html
And then its come to this a Phoenix teacher resigns after Tweeting her lust for genocide to Ann Coulter:
Bonnie Verne was a third-grade teacher at Pardes Jewish Day School.
The school sent a message Tuesday saying:
"PJDS informed the school community that teacher Bonnie Verne resigned due to comments she recently made on her personal Twitter account."
http://www.azfamily.com/story/34562923/scottsdale-teacher-resigns-after-tweeting-about-immigrants
[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 5: #1 Florida Vs. #2 Maine[/font]
Spin that shit one last time this week! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! Stupidest State Contest! Hit it!
16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! If you need a reminder of the conferences, theres the Batshit Conference, the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, the Gun Nut Conference, and the Family Values Conference. Last week, it was a battle to see who would be crowned the reigning Kings Of Guano, and theyre touring at a city near you! I kid, I kid. But were returning to the Batshit Conference this week. Why? Because the all time division champion, Florida, is poised to take on the second hottest newcomer in the Layover League, Maine. Because while Floridas best player Florida Man is internationally renowned for bringing the crazy extra hard, Maine while scenically one of the most beautiful states in the country, has a star player of their own who was extremely hot last year! So lets get out our brackets, shall we? Oh, and I should note that due to a last second technicality theres been a change in the Gun Nut Conference Mississippi tested positive for steroids and next week will instead be represented by South Carolina! Also theres been a shake up in the Family Values Conference Oklahomas star player got injured and they fired their coach, and so the state will instead be replaced by Tennessee.
[font size="6"]Round 5: Batshit Conference: #1 Florida Vs. #2 Maine[/font]
[font size="4"]Florida[/font]
Next up in our Stupidest State contest is the Sunshine State. Americas wang. Florida. Its the home to some of the most batshit headlines in news to the point where Florida Man is a national sensation and an internet meme. Florida Man also has his own Reddit subforum and Twitter account. This state has tons of sports teams and universities including the biggest names in the NCAA tournament - University of Miami Hurricanes, University Of Florida Gators, FSU, FIU, FAU, and UCF. Which begs the question if Florida has so many smart people, why are they so batshit crazy? Its also home to world class sports teams including the Orlando Magic, Miami Heat, Tampa Bay Rays, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Miami Marlins, and the Jacksonville Jaguars. Florida is also the home to Universal Studios and to Disney World and Epcot Center. But what else is Florida the home of? Nuclear waste! And lots of it!
A 2015 study by the U.S. Geological Survey of seismic reflection stated there are faults along the aquifer that could provide high permeability passageways for groundwater movement. In other words, theres a real possibility of radioactive materials leaking into the Biscayne Aquifer if this practice were to be implemented. If a leak occurs, it will be impossible to clean up.
Unfortunately the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission dismissed a legal challenge to FPL nuclear waste storage plans -- on a filing technicality.
You might want to sign and share this petition
https://www.change.org/p/don-t-store-nuclear-waste-near-our-drinking-water-source?
Perhaps the availability of nuclear waste so easily is why Florida Man, Florida Woman, and Florida Children are as batshit crazy as they are? And not only is Florida home to lots of nuclear waste, its also home to some of the more ridiculous gun laws in the country!
The proposal (HB 779), filed Friday by Rep. Neil Combee, R-Polk City, is identical to a bill (SB 646) filed by Senate Judiciary Chairman Greg Steube, R-Sarasota. Steube recently turned an omnibus gun measure (SB 140) into a series of bills.
Combee said his proposal would apply to people with concealed-weapons licenses. The proposal would change what is currently a second-degree misdemeanor charge carrying a fine up to $500 and 60 days in jail into a $25 noncriminal violation that can be paid to a county clerk of the court.
The proposal also would allow members of the state Cabinet the attorney general, chief financial officer and agriculture commissioner to carry concealed weapons when unaccompanied by full-time Florida Department of Law Enforcement security.
more: http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/florida/fl-nsf-gun-bills-20170213-story.html
By the way Floridas politicians are just as evil and batshit crazy as the people who inhabit this state. I mean when the entire world is pissed off at Donald Trump, how do you handle it?
Bill Akins, secretary of the county Republican Party, falsely claimed that the Affordable Care Act includes a provision requiring elderly people to go before "death panels." This death panel claim was PolitiFact's "Lie of the Year" in 2009.
When the crowd spontaneously fact-checked Akins by erupting in boos and shouts, he disrespectfully referred to them as "children"
The incident took place during a town hall hosted by GOP Congressman Gus Bilirakis in Port Richey, Florida. It was the latest in a series of protests at town hall events hosted by Republican representatives, mostly in response to their planned repeal of the ACA.
Read more: http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/johnwright/gop_congressman_lies_to_constituents_calls_them_children_as_town_hall_protests_continued
Florida is also the home of George Zimmerman, who we previously covered in multiple Idiots editions but this is my favorite story involving Zimmerman.
At one point early Friday, the bidding surpassed $65 million with the leading bidder using the screen name "Racist McShootFace." The site later showed that account had been deleted.
Other screen names of bidders on the site included "Donald Trump," ''shaniqua bonifa" and "Tamir Rice," the name of a black 12-year-old who was shot and killed by Cleveland police in 2014 while playing with a pellet gun.
The website for United Gun Group began hosting the auction Thursday after another website, GunBroker.com, took down the auction saying it wanted "no part in the listing on our website or in any of the publicity it is receiving."
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/auction-for-gun-that-killed-trayvon-martin-possibly-hijacked/ar-BBt0sIN?li=BBnb7Kz
Wait, so youre telling me Weedlord Bonerhitler and Racist McShootface are made up names meant to troll the auction? Im shocked, shocked I tell you! But heres why Florida always ranks so highly in this tournament year after year. And why Florida is constantly ranked as the craziest state in America. I give you their star player Florida Man. If you see the words Florida Man or Florida Woman in any given headline, drop what youre doing, grab a bucket of popcorn and some beer (or your beverage of choice) and sit back and enjoy the show. Because there will be some serious crazy following those words things that will give you a 9 out of 10 on your WTF-O-Meter. Florida Man is an internet celebrity. If Florida Man were a real person, hed be a bigger celebrity than Justin Beiber, and probably just as crazy! If not crazier. So with that in mind, were going to pull some actual Florida Man headlines verbatim. I mean really I could do an entire Top 10 devoted just to Florida Man.
And heres just headlines from Florida Man this week! This fucking week!
A man with multiple open warrants tried to flee South Daytona police by jumping out a second-floor window, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.
http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime--law/florida-man-cops-jumping-out-window-worth-shot/6Uayb6ePEQMX8tZPrCFUkJ/
And this is probably the most batshit crazy Florida Man story Ive seen yet and thats saying a lot! And yes this is the same story that was covered on John Oliver last week:
The officer said that a person who was on probation had been asked to do something by Mark Charles Barnett, a registered sex offender who was on probation for a number of offenses.
Specifically, the court documents state, Barnett had asked the other probationer to place bombs in ten buildings.
A. Lee Bentley III, the U.S. attorney for the Middle District of Florida, announced Thursday that Barnett, 48, had been charged with possession of a firearm (destructive device) affecting commerce by a previously convicted felon. Barnett, of Ocala, Fla., faces a maximum of 10 years in federal prison if convicted, according to a news release.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/02/18/florida-man-wanted-to-make-targets-stock-drop-so-he-hatched-a-bomb-plot-authorities-say/?utm_term=.6589c250bfc5
And Florida Man has already been busy launching his 2020 campaign!
Unfortunately, this is the real world. The American president said that something happened in Sweden on Friday night, which wasnt actually true.
http://bgr.com/2017/02/20/donald-trump-sweden-terror-attack/
Florida Man, keep doing what youre doing!
[font size="4"]Maine[/font]
Next up in our Stupidest State contest is Maine. The Pine Tree State is the northern most state in the continental United States. Its the home of the lobster roll hot and buttered or cold with mayo? Either way the sandwich is one of the best you can get. Its the home of such scenic towns as Bangor, Freeport (which served as the setting for the long lived TV comedy / drama Dark Shadows), Bar Harbor, and Arcadia. As well as some of the most beautiful national monuments in the entire country like Casco Bay and Acadia National Park. Buts also home to the most batshit fucking crazy governor in the entire country a guy by the name of Paul LePage. Who has been known to do things like this.
Last year Tipping was paid about $9,000 by Citizens Who Support Maines Public Schools to work on the campaign to pass Question 2. That was the citizen initiative that placed a 3 percent surtax on income over $200,000 in order to increase school funding.
In a news release, the state Republican Party charged that Tipping has a conflict of interest in continuing as co-chair of the Taxation Committee, which is considering legislation to repeal the tax hike. LePage, appearing on Bangor radio station WVOM, went further and called for Tipping to resign from the committee.
You are turning your back on the constituents you are supposed to serve and you know, like everybody else, he has constituents that are struggling on fixed incomes and here he is enriching himself from the teachers union. Shame on him, he says.
Read more: http://mainepublic.org/post/lepage-calls-democratic-state-lawmaker-resign
But Lepage didnt just stop there. Oh no, he doubled down on the batshit! In case youre wondering what dire straights Maine is in financially, I dont want to say its entirely LePages fault, um, yeah, it absolutely is fucking LePages fault. Because this happens:
With crowdfunding websites showing they work well for all sorts of efforts, teachers in the Portland schools have increasingly been turning to an organization called Donors Choose to supplement their classroom offerings.
In the past eight years Sylvie Montello, partnership developer at Lyseth Elementary School, said various teachers in the district have received hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of support from Donors Choose.
This site has been a blessing for teachers since school budgets are so tight, Montello said. They are able to request and get materials that make a positive impact on their students and they likely wouldnt be able to access otherwise.
Read more: http://www.theforecaster.net/portland-teachers-turn-to-crowdfunding-for-classroom-materials/
And this is where a huge rally for Trump was held in the normally liberal Portland. But the nice thing? Some Trump supporters held a rally that attracted, um, 10 people. Maybe 8. Im not sure we count the guy with the camera as a supporter or not.
Not to be outdone, a pro-Trump rally took place in Portland, Maine on Saturday, drawing media coverage, though not for reasons the participants anticipated.
Footage of the rally to support Trumps ban is making news for becoming one of the most pitiful turnouts for any Trump rally, with a count of eight people total. The event at Monument Square was organized by a man named William Hall.
http://americannewsx.com/hot-off-the-press/pictures-rally-trumps-muslim-ban-portland-maine-hilarious/
Doh! But getting back to LePage how crazy is LePage? Well the Huffington Post compiled a list of LePages greatest hits. Probably my favorite is where he compared the IRS to the Gestapo:
<snip>
In 2013, LePage went after Assistant Senate Majority Leader Troy Jackson (D), saying he had a black heart and no brains. The governor was upset at the legislator for saying he wasnt willing to negotiate with Democrats on the budget.
<snip>
In 2011, early in his tenure as governor, LePage quietly ordered the Maine Department of Labor to remove a mural depicting the states labor history. He argued that it was biased against businesses and employers.
<snip>
LePage sent law enforcement to enforce a quarantine at the home of Kaci Hickox in 2014. The nurse had returned home to Maine from treating Ebola patients in West Africa. There was no evidence that Hickox had contracted the Ebola virus, and ultimately, she never did. But that didnt stop the governor from forcing her into quarantine.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/paul-lepage-greatest-hits_us_57c59d9fe4b0664f13ca9260
Yeah. LePage, keep doing what youre doing.
[font size="4"]And The Winner Is [/font]
Florida utterly destroys Maine! Final score 91 47. How was Florida able to score that high? Maine had LePage and no offense. Florida Man managed to tweak out and freak out and score a whopping 60 points - all by himself, I might add! - to carry the team past Maine. Sorry Maine, you tried, but there really is no stopping the almighty Florida Man! Next week, were heading back to the Family Values Conference where reigning champion North Carolina will take on tournament newcomer Tennessee.
[font size="8"]And now this:[/font]
[font size="8"]Dropkick Murphys[/font]
Ladies and gentlemen, returning to the show, playing their new song Blood from their album 11 Short Stories Of Pain And Glory, please welcome the Dropkick Murphys!
Yeah how about that?
See you next week!
niyad
(112,438 posts)underpants
(182,281 posts)Last edited Wed Mar 1, 2017, 04:02 PM - Edit history (1)
I hope Alex Jones doesn't find out about my gay cat.
Initech
(99,915 posts)Alex Jones has the same diet as Donald Trump. They're both perpetual shit machines - garbage in, garbage out.
underpants
(182,281 posts)He has his own personal chef I'm sure. He doesn't eat that crap. To me it's another "I'm an Everyman" BS attempt.
Initech
(99,915 posts)Maybe it is, maybe it isn't true.
underpants
(182,281 posts)I just don't buy it. The burnt steaks and fast food supposedly because of the cleanliness standards - I'm telling you, he's a few short steps from Howard Hughes territory
malaise
(267,833 posts)Initech
(99,915 posts)I've been wanting to do something like this since I started!
flying rabbit
(4,612 posts)Zing Zing Zingbah
(6,496 posts)That's a Trump rally? It looks more like she is waiting for a bus.
Initech
(99,915 posts)I am not making this up!
Zing Zing Zingbah
(6,496 posts)They try to excuse the dems of getting paid to rally, but looking at these rallies... seems more likely to me they are getting paid (and not too well). They seem so dispassionate, like they can't wait to clock out and go home already.
Initech
(99,915 posts)Zing Zing Zingbah
(6,496 posts)I'd say it isn't a rally. It's not a rally if there's no crowd.
Initech
(99,915 posts)Than the real thing!
Zing Zing Zingbah
(6,496 posts)That's an improvement upon the real Trump.