Dear Abby

[malaise]

The microwave started taking pictures of me while the Samsung TV was watching and recording my iphone's every movement. Meanwhile my iPad is jealous of the surveillance of the popcorn in the microwave by the camera in the Dell Laptop and even my fucking radio is now active. Hubby has blasted the Galaxy Notebook into orbit along with the security set up which he claims is monitoring our every thought.

Can you fugging Trump that?? HELP!!!

[JenniferJuniper]

1. The little dog laughed to see such sport,

And the dish ran away with the spoon.

[malaise]

2. Did they take Krazy Kellyanne with them?

[Phentex]

3. Kellyanne IS the little dog!

[malaise]

4. Groper's lap dog

I get it

[greatauntoftriplets]

5. I think my toilet is watching me.

[malaise]

7. Get worried when it says 'goodbye cruel world' when you flush

Otherwise - ignore the toilet - like Groper Don the Con, it's full of $hit

[greatauntoftriplets]

9. You can't trust these wall-mounted ones.

[malaise]

10. Bwaaaaaaaaaaah

[spanone]

6. just remember she said 'I'm Not Inspector Gadget'

so don't expect too much from her!!!!



http://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2017/03/13/conway-wiretapping-investigation-newday.cnn

[malaise]

8. What a moron - that was some stupid incoherent shit

[lagomorph777]

22. Did Spicer inspect her gadget for leaks?

[Scarsdale]

24. Don the Con

very obviously wears Depends. Look at his photos golfing. So, he can deny leaks from his own yuuuge self.

[lagomorph777]

28. Tiny little leaks.

I hope he's in Big Prostate Hell (BPH).

[world wide wally]

11. In any other country (besides Russia) this would be a joke

[malaise]

13. It was the first thing one of our friends laughed at on our morning walk

He suggested that we check to see if our microwave had posted our pics on WhatsApp - we did crack up

[underpants]

18. In Russia we only had two TV channels.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was pro da. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/yakovsmirnoffjokes.html

[Sancho]

12. Q: "Alexa, who is watching me?"

A: "Who isn't watching you?"

[underpants]

16. LOL

[matt819]

14. You think that's bad?

My microwave was at its usual spot in the kitchen when I went to bed last night. This morning, I wake up and it's on my night stand making clicking sounds. Not sure if it was taking photos or commenting on my failure to lose any weight recently. The dogs and cats are disavowing any knowledge of how the microwave made its way upstairs. And I think they're smirking at me. Plus they were making clicking sounds as well.

[malaise]

17. Hehehehhehehehe

Are you sure you weren't hearing the Click Song?

[underpants]

15. You are not alone

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=8785324

[malaise]

19. LOL

We are everywhere like Kellyanne's surveillance

[underpants]

20. Kellyanne's microwave is on Twitter

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028785514

[dogknob]

21. When I pressed the "defrost" button on my microwave...

...it brought up a live feed of Scarlett Johansson in the shower.

[malaise]

23. ROFL

[retrowire]

25. I'm not laughing

Because the microwave thing is the only stupid part.

The fact that all those other technologies are as invasive just sucks.

[LanternWaste]

31. It's a crime that Magnetic Resonance Imagining is so damned invasive.

"The fact that all those other technologies are as invasive just sucks..."

It's a crime that Magnetic Resonance Imagining is so damned invasive. And that my energy meter reacts to my habits.

[retrowire]

32. ???

Are you mocking the fact that our TV's and phones are capable of eavesdropping on us?

I'm not following.

[guillaumeb]

26. To avoid this situation in the future:

Always buy Trump brand popcorn.

It took some time to accept the bright orange color of the popcorn, but it is worth it to avoid the surveillance.

[malaise]

30. I'll pass

[dogknob]

27. My friend was getting out of her Smart Car the other day...

...when it suddenly asked "Is that what you're going to wear?"

[malaise]

29. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah