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DFW

(54,365 posts)
Thu Mar 16, 2017, 06:29 PM Mar 2017

Fake Swedish defense spokesmen, now British spies, who's next? Exclusive breaking news!

These countries colluding with Democrats against the Trump administration will soon be able to form their own bloc in the U.N: The DiBTAI countries (Dissed By Trump Administration Idiots).

A few predictions for soon-to-be-included members (and my information is as solid as any claim from Sean Hannity):

Italy, who, Trump Administrations sources have found out (stupid Italians, always bragging), has been hiding listening devices and wires inside pasta noodles served to Trump at least since March, 2016. Since the listening devices and transmitters were made of biodegradable materials, Trump never noticed in case he ended up eating some of them.

France, who has been secretly embedding listening devices inside wine bottles served to Trump for years. "But glass is clear, and Trump would have seen them," you might say. Well, why do you think the glass is darkened, after all? Évidamment!

Then there's fiendish Jamaica, who has been hiding listening devices in marijuana smoked by the Trump family. The smoke, instead of dissipating at random, is programmed to bring the recordings directly to Kingston Central, who breaks it down for the signals and analyzes them for the Cubans.

The Chinese, with their high tech, have not been idle. Every time Beijing duck is served to any member of the Trump team, listening devices disguised as duck bones record and store all conversation, and even record the unspoken thoughts--to the extent that there are any--of all present (I TOLD you the Chinese were high tech). The Chinese agent (in duck carver's clothing) immediately collects the "duck bones" and whisks them to the nearest Chinese embassy or consulate for transcribing and evaluation. The Trumps are told the bones were needed for duck soup, and ask no questions.

Lastly, consider clever Iceland, who has found a way to make listening devices colorless and unaffected by cold, so that every cocktail served to any member of the Trump family, their Administration or their accountants contained a listening device in the ice cubes used in every glass. An Icelandic agent, equally invisible, collects the ice cubes after every event, and Reykjavik knows in real time if Trump plans to invade and confiscate all the Icelandic ponies for his kids' private pony farms.

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Fake Swedish defense spokesmen, now British spies, who's next? Exclusive breaking news! (Original Post) DFW Mar 2017 OP
that took gibraltar72 Mar 2017 #1
About six minutes DFW Mar 2017 #2

DFW

(54,365 posts)
2. About six minutes
Thu Mar 16, 2017, 06:42 PM
Mar 2017

Listen to a press conference clip or two, and it practically wrote itself. I'm glad I'm 6000 Km from all the craziness.

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