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Wed Apr 26, 2017, 01:04 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-21: Wheel Of Corruption: Skull Island Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-21: Wheel Of Corruption: Skull Island Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! For more information please see our ad in Redbook Magazine! So you know one of my favorite subjects besides politics is music. But I do have to show this recent fail from a Chainsmokers show in Pittsburgh. And I mean really this falls under the “you have one job” column. Seriously, how do you fuck this up? Well, let’s show it.


Yet another good idea for those “Wanna Get Away” commercials. Call me, Southwest! And Coachella recently ended and man there was a lot of good stuff as far as music goes. You have everything from Illuminati mind controller Lady Gaga, a guy who says “DAMN” better than Will Smith – Kendrick Lamar, to the weird and eccentric Australian band King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, to alt rock staples like Bastille, Lorde, Empire Of The Sun, Capital Cities, The XX, and Radiohead, to hip-hop heavyweights Future, Thundercat, Mac Miller, and Schoolboy Q. And one of my all time favorites – legendary Jamaican reggae mainstay Toots & The Maytals. However, with most of Coachella there’s lots of crazy shit happening. And then there’s the douchebag who stole 100s of cellphones using the Google and Apple “find my phone feature”. Yeah fuck that guy. But of course the annual Gathering Of The Hipsters brings lots of crazy food, like the Fresno Burger – which like most things that come from Fresno, is unusually large and full of crap. I kid. Oh come on, it’s Fresno. It’s California’s Florida! I kid, I kid! Or how about the pulled pork flaming mac and Cheetos tater tots? I mean really, is the goal of modern American street food just to take French fries and dump tons of unnecessary crap on them? Or my personal favorite – the gold flaked donut? I mean come on, Coachella has evolved from an innocent music festival into a full blown “fuck you” to poor people in the last few years anyways, maybe all the rich people who party there should put their money where their mouth is! And literally in this case! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to this week. But first – John Oliver is back and he explores the impact Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump have on the Trump White House:

Hey everybody the Wheel Of Corruption is back! Yayyyyyyyyyyy!!! Oh the kids love the Wheel Of Corruption don’t they? Well the number one slot this week is none other than Fox News. Well not so much Fox News as it is Bill O’Reilly who is finally seeing the end of… The Factor. Does this mean no more War On Christmas? But they’ve got to have an armchair general in a fake war that nobody asked for and doesn't want! Taking the 2nd slot is Jason Chaffetz (2) who is making a very mysterious and interestingly timed exit from Congress. Taking the number 3 and 4 slot is of course president Donald J. Trump. In the third slot this week is of course President Donald Trump (3). Who is quickly approaching his first 100 days, and guess what he’s doing? If you guessed “bragging about ratings”, you are correct! In the 4th slot is also President Trump (4) and some very special guests who he had over for dinner last week. And if you guessed it was all about giving the middle finger to liberals, you are once again correct. In the number 5 slot is Donald Trump once again – with his recent AP interview, there’s some pretty shocking stuff. Mainly that nobody could understand what he was talking about. So we’re going to apply this to history. Taking the 6th slot, we have a new installment of “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. And this week – it’s Iowa representative Steve King (6), and if you were to look up “American racist” in Urban Dictionary, you’d see his picture. In the number 7 slot, Alex Jones is back in the news. And in case you were wondering if Alex Jones was smoking some seriously strong shit, the answer to that question is an overwhelming yes! In the number 8 slot, is Ann Coulter (8) and her on again, off again speaking engagement at UC Berkeley. If you think that what happened last week is over, oh no it isn’t. not by a long shot! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot, we’ve got another installment of “I Need A Drink”, but this time we’re actually going to ask “Millenials – what you sipping???” . Yeah that’s right – the 9th installment is going to talk about Starbucks (9) and their latest offering. Finally this week – we’ve got yet another installment of our ongoing Stupidest State Contest, but this time we’re getting down to the end. It’s the last matchup of round 2, and this time we have an old fashioned shoot out as Montana’s white supremacists are going to take on Missouri’s heavily armed police force. Plus we have some live music for you, this time from “Dreamcar”. A new band that combines Davey Havok from AFI with No Doubt’s backup band, and their music is so new, their album isn’t even out yet! They’re also playing Coachella both weekends. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[font size="8"]Bill O’Reilly[/font]

Come on everybody say it with me. It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!! Yayyyyyyyyy!!!

The wheel is back everybody! And of course if we had a bigger budget we’d have our own graphics and theme music. Yes just like last time I’ll talk about whatever the wheel lands on. But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra. And by the way this week – to celebrate the end of the O’Reilly Factor, the Clips Without Context will either be featuring something crazy someone said about Bill O'Reilly, or will feature Bill O'Reilly himself saying something crazy - and that's pretty easy to find! So this week the items on the wheel will be:

- Go Directly To Jail
- Clip Without Context
- Guacamole
- 5,000
- Dating
- Whammy
- Community Chest
- Bankrupt
- Voter Fraud
- Nazis
- Booze
- Chance
- “Going Rogue”
- Buy A Vowel
- Donald Trump
- My Wife
- Seinfeld
- Bathrooms
- Double Whammy
- A Recent Study
- Guns
- Stupidest State Contest
- VR Headset
- Twitter
- Whammy
- I Need A Drink
- People Who Somehow Got Elected
- North Korea
- 10,000
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Talk Shows
- Golf
- Twitter
- Fox News
- 15,000
- Polls
- Hate Crimes
- A Random Tweet
- Conspiracy Theories
- Russia
- Something random in the news
- VR Headset
- ??? (Mystery)
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Florida (Obviously)
- Infowars
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Talk shows!

Spin it again! And it lands on…. Fox News. You know I don’t have to tell you unless you’re living under a rock now about the fact that Bill O’Reilly has left the building. You know Bill O’Reilly – the author of such gripping literature as Killing Kennedy, Killing Lincoln, Killing Jesus, Killing Patton, and his latest – Killing The Rising Sun. Bill O’Reilly loves him some sweet, sweet death doesn’t he? Well, he should title his latest book “Killing My Career”. Hey o!!! Thank you I’m here all week! Before we go down the wormhole though, Michael Regan explains the Fox News Gentlemen’s Club in a nutshell:

Conservative commentator Michael Reagan, the son of former president Ronald Reagan, defended Bill O’Reilly this morning over claims that the recently fired Fox News host sexually harassed women.

Reagan, a contributor to the conservative outlet Newsmax, shared posts on Facebook and Twitter insisting that if women wear “low cut dresses,” then men should consider suing “for sexual arousal”:

If women are going to wear low cut dresses that show cleavage don’t be harassed when we men look.Or shld we sue for sexual arousal?

And he is definitely not helping. Suing women for looking too pretty? I mean seriously what kind of backwards ass place do we live in where that could happen? I mean do we live in a country where Donald Trump is still president? We do? Shit!!! Well, in all seriousness here’s what happened:

The fact that none of these sources were willing to go on the record speaks to the delicate maneuvering underway.

The network's parent company, 21st Century Fox (FOX), will hold a board meeting on Thursday, a spokeswoman told CNNMoney. One of the sources said O'Reilly will be a primary topic.

The Murdochs, the men who control 21st Century Fox, are pointedly not commenting on any of this. ..................

Read more: http://money.cnn.com/2017/04/18/media/bill-oreilly-fox-news-exit/index.html

I like that one. And how much does poop come out of Bill O’Reilly’s mouth? Well, we don’t have to tell you about this one particular incident. I mean seriously, Fox News and the modern republican party are blurring the line between human and animal at an alarming rate. I mean really? Grunting and treating women like shit is what passes for being a man in this day and age? They might as well fling feces at each other because that’s what gorillas do.

Coming forward publicly for the first time, Perquita Burgess, along with her attorney Lisa Bloom, appeared on “The View” Thursday to discuss the sexual harassment she claims Bill O’Reilly directed toward her.

O’Reilly was let go from Fox News the day before, and co-host Whoopi Goldberg introduced Burgess as potentially “the final nail in the coffin of Bill O’Reilly’s career at Fox News.” (RELATED: Bill O’Reilly Responds To Being Let Go By Fox News)

According to Burgess, the harassment started pretty much immediately. “Within the first week and a half of me working [at Fox News] … he always walked past my desk, and he made, like, a grunting noise.”

She recounted her previously reported claims of him regularly grunting and leering at her whenever no one else was around. After some time, she started trying to ignore him, leading him to pass by her and say, “Hey, hot chocolate,” without looking at her.

Yeah you can’t have it both ways! I mean even the Murdochs have had enough of O’Reilly’s sexually harassing ways. I love Saturday Night Live last week when the Weekend Update guys said “You must be so good at sexual harassment that every time it happens, you have to pay out $3.5 million.”.

Bill O’Reilly’s position at Fox News grew increasingly tenuous on Tuesday as support from the Murdoch family showed signs of eroding, according to three people briefed on discussions about his future.

Mr. O’Reilly’s fate at the network is expected to be discussed on Thursday at a board meeting for Fox News’s parent company, 21st Century Fox. Chief among the considerations is a continuing investigation into Mr. O’Reilly’s behavior conducted by the law firm Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison.

Pressure on the company increased on Tuesday when another woman reported sexual harassment allegations against Mr. O’Reilly to 21st Century Fox.

And then there’s so much more and we’re only beginning to scratch the surface of the Fox News Gentlemen’s Club. So Roger Ailes? Gone. O’Reilly? Gone. And now King Deplorable Sean Hannity might be going away as well:
Sean Hannity is the latest Fox News host accused of sexually harassing a woman appearing on one of the network's programs.

In an interview this weekend, former Fox News contributor Debbie Schlussel said Hannity once invited her back to his hotel room while they were at an event in Detroit.

"He had some event at a bookstore where he signed his book for people standing in line. He asked me to come meet him at this book signing," Schlussel said, according to a report in the New York Daily News. "So I met him there and it was very awkward. He had me stand up there with him while he signed books and I felt very weird. These people don't know me and they didn't come for me to sign their books. So then I left to get ready for the show and he said, 'Why don't you come back with me to my hotel?' and I said no, I have to get ready for the show."

Of course they’re going to deny it! That’s the conservative protocol – you get caught grabbing pussy, and you immediately deny it. I mean why not? Our president did it! Only makes sense that every single male employee of the closest thing the US has to state run television does it, right? Just once I want to see a conservative go “Yeah I grabbed the pussy!”. But you know right before this happened O’Reilly renewed his contract:

Fox News has reportedly renewed the contract of longtime host Bill O'Reilly despite recent sexual harassment settlements, according to a Sunday Wall Street Journal report.

O'Reilly, who has been the top-rated host in cable news for 15 consecutive years, was the subject of a front-page New York Times article Saturday that detailed sexual harassment claims by five women that resulted in $13 million in payouts from the network and O'Reilly.

O'Reilly's lawyer, Fredric S. Newman, in a statement to the Times suggested O’Reilly might take legal action against some people bringing claims against him, stating: “We are now seriously considering legal action to defend Mr. O’Reilly’s reputation.”

But there’s far more to this story that you might think. Turns out that with that contract renewal, comes a very, very nice pay day for O’Reilly. Where do you get that job where they can pay you millions to not work? Did they sell their souls to Satan?

Fox News is reportedly paying released longtime host Bill O’Reilly tens of millions of dollars, several close sources told CNN Money on Thursday.

“It is a staggering amount,” one source claimed, according to CNN. Another source gave the specific amount of the alleged payout: an astounding $25 million dollars.

Neither 21st Century Fox nor O’Reilly’s representatives have publicly confirmed a payout, but O’Reilly just signed a new contract in March, which reportedly averaged about $25 million a year. Though the terms of the contract have not been disclosed publicly, according to the sources the multi-year contract extended until at least the end of 2020.

The sources said that Fox News included specific contract language in the recent contract that gave them several “outs,” but requires them to pay at least one year’s salary, which is where the $25 million figure came from.

[font size="8"]Jason Chaffetz[/font]

Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! No, a whammy!

Spin it again. And it lands on… “going rogue”. So Jason Chaffetz went rogue this week like a bad spy movie. The idea of “going rogue” is currently the biggest cliché in movies. You have “Spectre”, where James Bond went rogue. “Jason Bourne”, where Jason Bourne went rogue. “The Fate Of The Furious”, where Dominick Torretto went rogue. You have “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.”, where Napoleon Solo goes rogue. “Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation”, where Ethan Hunt went rogue. You had “Batman Vs Superman”, “The Lego Batman Movie”, and “The Dark Knight Rises”, where Batman goes rogue. You had “Jack Reacher: Never Go Back”, where Jack Reacher went rogue. And of course, “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story” where the Rebel Alliance goes rogue to steal the plans to the Death Star. I could literally do this all day! And I’ve got that kind of time. So what happens when a sitting Congressman goes rogue? Well… this aint like any of those movies.

WASHINGTON — Representative Jason Chaffetz, the powerful chairman of the House Oversight Committee, told supporters on Wednesday that he would not seek re-election to Congress — or for any office — in 2018.

Mr. Chaffetz, 50, a Utah Republican who plainly relished his oversight role more under a Democratic administration, said he was ready to return to the private sector after more than 13 years in public service, calling his decision a “personal” one.

“I have long advocated public service should be for a limited time and not a lifetime or full career,” he said in a statement posted on Facebook. “After more than 1,500 nights away from my home, it is time.”

Wait – he thinks public service should have term limits? Why doesn’t he tell that to some of his fellow Congressmen? But there’s got to be more to this story hasn’t there? Why is he retiring so suddenly and abruptly?

One of the most high-profile House Republicans is rather abruptly stepping out of politics. Rep. Jason Chaffetz (Utah), chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, announced Wednesday that he won't be running for reelection in 2018 in his safely Republican district in suburban Salt Lake City.

Chairmen of House committees don't just leave for no reason. So why is Chaffetz doing so?

The most likely answer, theorize Republican strategists watching this play out, is that Chaffetz is just bored with his job. His job as chairman of the oversight panel is to investigate the government, and it probably would have been a lot more fun for this tea party-leaning Republican to investigate Hillary Clinton's government than President Trump's.

After Trump was inaugurated, Chaffetz rather provocatively suggested that he planned to remain a national figure because of Clinton, not Trump. That hasn't really materialized now that Congress is investigating Trump's potential ties to Russia.

Well that doesn’t really explain much. Why did Jason Chaffetz go rogue? Could it be that he said some stupid shit about Hillary’s e-mails a couple of months ago? You know the phrase “beating a dead horse” I don’t think is in the GOP’s vocabulary. Because they love to beat them some dead horses.

WASHINGTON, DC - JULY 07: Committee chairman Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) (L) talks to Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC) (R) during a hearing before House Oversight and Government Reform Committee July 7, 2016 on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC. The committee held a hearing "Oversight of the State Department," focusing on the FBI's recommendation not to prosecute Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton for maintaining a private email server during her time as Secretary of State. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

The chairman of the House Oversight and Government Affairs Committee wants you to know that everything is hunky-dory now that Mike Flynn has resigned. Crisis over. Moving on. He's not going to spend any of his committee's time figuring out what’s going on with the Russian mole in the Trump regime.

Or could it have something to do with this?

In a great ironic twist, Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) has been promising to lead the investigation of Hillary Clinton even now that Donald Trump has become president, and is now under fire himself for use of an illegal private email server.

The Democratic Coalition Against Trump reported Rep. Chaffetz to the FBI, explaining:

The Democratic Coalition Against Trump reported Representative Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) to the FBI on Wednesday morning for possibly breaking Executive Order 13526 and 18 U.S.C. Sec. 793(f) of the federal code, which makes it unlawful to send or store classified information on a personal email. As was recently resurfaced by the Democratic Coalition’s #TrumpLeaks program, Rep. Chaffetz lists his personal Gmail address on business cards brandished with the Congressional seal. Rep. Chaffetz sits on the Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism, Homeland Security, and Investigations, which has jurisdiction over “internal and homeland security,” among other things.

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Let’s spin it to win it! Ooh, that was a nice strong spin right there. And it lands on… clip without context!

When did Bryan Fischer attend the Roast Of Bill O’Reilly? Although that’s one thing I think I actually agree with him on! Just planting seeds! If they bear fruit, I don’t know. Spin it again! And it lands on…. Donald Trump. Oh and before we get into all things Trump, going back to music, you know the new Gorillaz album drops this week. Yay! Well, Damon Albarn said there wont be any references to Trump on the new album, despite that there’s a bonus track called “The Apprentice”

For Albarn, who has kept both groups running concurrently since Blur reunited in 2009, Gorillaz’s animated presentation has allowed the group to come and go without aging (literally) or being tethered to one era. Yet Humanz (due Apr. 27 on Parlaphone/Warner Bros.) marks a return to the end-time themes that were front-and-center on 2005’s Demon Days, which Hewlett says was inspired by the Sept. 11 attacks. Albarn warned the world against Donald Trump rising to the Oval Office as far back as the fall of 2015, when he would add a “Don’t fall for Donald Trump / He’s such a chump” sing-along to Blur’s live performances of “Tender.” And indeed, the singer-songwriter says Humanz was inspired in large part by imagining, “What would happen if the world was turned, in some unthinkable way, on its head?” -- a reality borne out by the 2016 presidential election.

“Trump’s ascension was one of the sources of energy that we meditated on, when it was like, ‘Ahh, that’s ridiculous, that could never happen,’” he explains. Humanz is not a conventional protest album against the American president as much as a party record for the apocalypse that his reign might ultimately lead to; “The sky’s falling, baby, drop that ass before it crash,” Vince Staples proclaims on “Ascension,” which has peaked at No. 11 on the Rock Songs chart. The election was a clear catalyst for those overtones, although Albarn made sure that the lyrics to Humanz don’t give the president any specific credit.

Oh and if you want to hear the song, here you go:

Now back to the original entry. So stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A pussy grabber who thinks he’s the president goes to meet with another pussy grabber who actually is the Prime Minister of Italy and they walk into a bar… well let’s roll the tape.

But that wasn’t the only epic fail in this never ending nightmare that is the Donald J. Trump administration – what else was he up to this week? Well first off we got to mention that one of Trumepnfuror’s favorite lies about us is that democratic protestors are paid. Well….

One of President Donald Trumps favorite lies that the thousands of people who have taken to the streets in protest against him are being paid by Democrats to do so just became quite ironic.

According to a report by the Arizona Republic, the states Republican party plotted to pay for protesters to flood a Democratic congresswomans constituents meeting. A political coordinator in Arizona named Kyle Pierce sent an email to Republican party officials in the state urging ordinary GOPers to attend a Coffee Club hosted by Democratic Rep. Kyrsten Sinema.

Republicans planned to target Sinema for accepting political donations from the founders of Backpage.com, a website that has been accused of engaging in child sex trafficking. Pierces email offered to reimburse Republicans for the Coffee Clubs $25 membership fee if they asked Sinema about the donations.

The email said, It would be absolutely wonderful if we had as many of her Republican consituents (sic) as possible attend this event to ask her why she accepted thousands of dollars from the creator of Backpage.com. Im sure most of you have been keeping up with the news on this. Its pretty bad, and were trying to hold her accountable for it.

Read more: http://www.salon.com/2017/04/21/we-found-all-of-those-paid-protestors-they-work-for-the-gop/

But paid protestors weren’t the only thing that has plagued Trump this week. His administration fails on so many levels. And this is just the first 100 days. Remember when he said we would be winning so much that America would be sick of winning?

As he neared the end of his first 100 days in office, President Donald Trump touted his first three months as a rousing success.

"No administration has accomplished more in the first 90 days," Trump told an audience in Kenosha, Wis.

That’s a pretty high bar, especially for an administration that has registered historically low levels of support in public-approval polls for presidents this early in their terms.

The White House didn’t respond to an inquiry for this article, but when asked about some of the president’s 100-day accomplishments during the April 19 press briefing, White House press secretary Sean Spicer cited a series of executive orders, including some on regulatory reform; a drop in border crossings; and job creation. He said more details would be offered as the 100-day mark approached.

I like that one! To be fair, I would give him an F--. Maybe an F- when the margin of error is adjusted. But still, it’s a colossal fail with very few, if any, wins.

Washington (CNN)President Donald Trump lives for superlatives -- he wants the biggest, the best, the greatest. So it's no surprise he's already fuming about uncomplimentary reviews of his first 100 days in office.

Trump is approaching the first symbolic milestone of his presidency on Saturday with a familiar mix of bluster and smokescreens, meant to disguise the reality that he has produced one of the least-prolific first 100 day debuts of any president in modern history.

"No matter how much I accomplish during the ridiculous standard of the first 100 days, & it has been a lot (including S.C.), media will kill!" Trump wrote on Twitter Friday, despite playing up the significance of the first 100 days marker in the past.


Oh and you can’t discount Donald Trump’s 100 Days without him doing the most Donald Trump thing possible. And by that I mean of course – bragging about what else? The ratings!

Donald Trump boasted that his ratings were higher than broadcasts of the 9/11 terrorist attacks in an interview about his first 100 days in the White House.

“It’s the highest for ‘Face the Nation’ or as I call it, ‘Deface the Nation’. It’s the highest for ‘Deface the Nation’ since the World Trade Center. Since the World Trade Center came down. It’s a tremendous advantage.”

Several hours after the attacks on 11 September 2001, during which almost 3,000 people died, Mr Trump was interviewed on radio and claimed that since the Towers came down, he now owned the tallest building in Manhattan. He was also condemned for claiming around $150,000 of government funds for small businesses to get back on their feet after the attacks.

The President also falsely claimed that he saw Muslims clapping and cheering as they watched the Towers fall, which could have contributed to an anti-Muslim rhetoric that led to a 65 per cent spike in hate crimes against Muslims in 2015, as found by the FBI.

Read more: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/donald-trump-9-11-approval-ratings-interview-who-with-first-100-days-us-president-world-trade-center-a7698516.html

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Let’s spin that shit! Ooh, that was a nice strong spin right there! And it lands on… wait for it… Seinfeld!

Well, we have to talk about his dinner guests and I really don’t want to because it’s making me too fucking angry. And you know who he had over for dinner last week right? Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent, and Kid Rock. Or as Bill Maher called them “the Axis Of Redneck”. And Ted Nugent? A guy who has spent the last 8 years threatening to murder anyone he doesn’t agree with including Pres. Obama being allowed in the fucking White House? Where is the outrage there?

It was a trifecta of conservative celebrities in the White House Wednesday night.

Ted Nugent, a longtime Trump supporter; camouflage-cowboy-hat-wearer, Kid Rock, who's been known to be strongly anti-shirt but pro- marijuana; and former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin all gathered in the Oval Office for a quick photo shoot to go over some paperwork and have a little dinner.

All three jumped on the Trump train early in the primary campaign and appeared at numerous rallies on Trump's behalf in the months leading up to his election victory last November.

While the White House has opted not to release visitor logs, it was the three guests themselves who spilled the beans on Twitter and Facebook. Palin posted several photos with the caption, "A great night at the White House. Thank you to President Trump for the invite!"

Nugent's take is a little harder to follow but, apparently, there was some "boogie chillin'" going on and some acknowledgment of the 242nd anniversary of the Lexington and Concord battles during the Revolutionary War.

You know… Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! You know one can only hope that Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent, and Kid Rock were treated to the standards of dining excellence that the Trump brand is known for. I mean come on, at least he has good cake, right? “The best cake, nobody makes better cake than the restaurant at Trump Tower, OK?” Well, what else happened at the dinner?

WASHINGTON — Ted Nugent, Kid Rock and Sarah Palin had a fete to remember at the White House for several hours Wednesday night, as President Trump treated the high-profile supporters to a white-china private dinner, a room-by-room tour and free-range policy chat.

Mr. Nugent — a guitar demigod, knife-between-the-teeth hunter and conservative provocateur — offered an inside glimpse of a gracious, relaxed and house-proud president with ample time to offer his thoughts on a wide array of topics, from entertainment to existential geopolitical perils.

“We were there for four hours, man!” Mr. Nugent, a 68-year-old Detroit native, said in a telephone interview on Thursday, using a four-letter expletive to signal his amazement at Mr. Trump’s willingness to spend so much time with his three casually dressed visitors.

“He gave us a wonderful personal tour of every room and talked about the origins of every carpet and every painting — there was a Monet — and then we had dinner,” said Mr. Nugent, who has referred to former President Barack Obama as a “mongrel” and to Hillary Clinton with an array of unflattering epithets.

So let’s throw that picture up there:

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Dude, Ted Nugent spent the last 8 years threatening to murder any government official he’s disagreeing with. You know threatening to murder the previous president and dining with the current one at the White House, is like getting in a car accident with the governor’s daughter, and then getting elected governor. It just doesn’t work that way, am I right? Maybe Ted Nugent listens to too much NOFX?

NOFX is not to be taken seriously. Just kidding, we love NOFX here. We’re trying to get them on the show at some point. But as you can expect the usual backlash happens. I mean what can you expect from a guy who does this to grills?

Kid Rock, Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin all went to the White House for dinner with President Donald Trump on Wednesday night, and predictably, there was plenty of uproar to be upset about, especially when the three of them took a picture in front of a portrait of former First Lady Hillary Clinton.

The three White House visitors posed in front of the portrait, with Palin giving the camera a sassy look and Nugent giving a thumbs-up. Kid Rock, surprisingly, is the most mature and normal poser there.

After the visit, Joy Behar ripped the visit apart on The View, saying, “Is this the saddest day in in the history of the White House since the British burned it to the ground in 1814?”

Ooh, that’s a good one. But let’s think about Trump’s guests here for a minute – the biggest airhead in the history of American politics (and I’m not including SE Cupp or Ann Coulter), you have a pants shitting draft dodger who adopted a 17 year old for sex, and you have a guy who will someday be a member of the “hold my beer and watch this crowd”. But now here’s the demand for an apology:

The White House is not a cheesy theme park, the Resolute desk is not a prop, and the official portrait of a former first lady is not to be ridiculed. Yet, that’s how President Donald Trump’s White House dinner guests, including former vice presidential candidate and Gov. Sarah Palin, rocker Kid Rock and musician and conservative activist Ted Nugent, acted Wednesday night.

In a clear display of disrespect for the presidency and the White House, Palin, Nugent and Kid Rock were photographed under a portrait of Hillary Clinton, as Palin sneered and Nugent scoffed.

Nugent told The New York Times that someone suggested the trio stick up their middle fingers, and Nugent “politely declined.” There’s nothing polite about what Nugent, Palin and Rock did. Their undignified behavior, reinforced by their social media comments, were a testament to how degraded our civil discourse has become. The U.S. Secret Service investigated Nugent in 2012 after he indirectly threatened President Barack Obama. It’s enough to wonder how Nugent got through the White House gates.

You know, I think Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, and Ted Cruz should team up and open their own gun themed restaurant. Ted Nugent can kill the food with machine guns, Kid Rock can operate the grill with machine guns, and Ted Cruz can cook the food with machine guns. It’s a Triple Gun!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Let’s spin the wheel! Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, wheel goes round! Where does it stop, nobody knows! And it lands on… North Korea!

Yes that’s our current president praising the guy he currently wants to bomb the living shit out of! Spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. I originally wanted to talk about Trump supporters suing for claiming that Trump encouraged them to incite violence but didn’t like the entry. This is much better, so you know that Trump gave an interview to the “FAKE NEWS!!!!” AP and well, the biggest reveal of the whole thing – is how “unintelligible” he is. So let’s go through this thing.

The AP has released the transcript of its Friday interview with our Yam-in-Chief, and much of it is utterly unintelligible.

That’s not just my personal assessment, either. In 16 instances, the AP’s transcribers found that they were unable to discern what the fuck it was that Trump was saying. Webster’s defines “unintelligible” as “impossible to understand.” My theory isn’t so much that the recording was inaudible so much as that it didn’t make a lick of sense.

I’m warning you now that there’s a whole lot of text down here, but I’m sparing you the 55 instances of ellipses, in which he trailed off because he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Yes. This is our president here, folks. This is the man who is currently in charge of the free world – and nobody can understand what the fuck he is talking about! Remember last year when this happened?

Yes – that’s an unaltered screen cap of the republican presidential debates with “unintelligible yelling”, but that was a debate and nobody could understand Trump then. Now Trump is our president, he’s giving a one on one interview – and nobody can understand him!

TRUMP: I’m rebuilding the military. We have great people. We have great things in place. We have tremendous borders. I mention the F-35 because if I can save $725 million — look at that, that’s a massive amount of money. And I’ll save more as we make more planes. If I can save that on a small number of planes — Gen. (Jim) Mattis (the defense secretary) said, “I’ve never seen anything like this,” because he had to sign the ultimate (unintelligible) ... He had to sign the ultimate, you know. He said, “I’ve never seen anything like this before, as long as I’ve been in the military.” You know, that kind of cutting.

And then further down in the interview:

TRUMP: Number One, there’s great responsibility. When it came time to, as an example, send out the 59 missiles, the Tomahawks in Syria. I’m saying to myself, “You know, this is more than just like, 79 (sic) missiles. This is death that’s involved,” because people could have been killed. This is risk that’s involved, because if the missile goes off and goes in a city or goes in a civilian area — you know, the boats were hundreds of miles away — and if this missile goes off and lands in the middle of a town or a hamlet .... every decision is much harder than you’d normally make. (unintelligible) ... This is involving death and life and so many things. ... So it’s far more responsibility. (unintelligible) ....The financial cost of everything is so massive, every agency. This is thousands of times bigger, the United States, than the biggest company in the world. The second-largest company in the world is the Defense Department. The third-largest company in the world is Social Security. The fourth-largest — you know, you go down the list.

How would you like to be the guy taking dictation on this speech and have to write “(unintelligible)” without dying laughing? This guy is our president! This fucking guy! What would happen in famous speeches if you tried that? Wouldn’t be the same would it? I mean JFK’s speech!

We choose not to go to the moon and do the other thing! (unintelligible)

Or how about William Wallace from Braveheart?

Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... (unintelligible)!

Or what about the Joker from the Dark Knight?

I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmmm? You know... You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then (unintelligible)!

I could literally do this all day! And I do mean literally! I’ll just do one more for good measure – Fight Club:

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. (unintelligible) Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be (unintelligible). But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Huffpost, by the way breaks down all the crazy shit that Trump said and contradicted himself on in that interview, such as:

Describing a meeting with Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md.), Trump offered the following word salad:

“Well he said, you’ll be the greatest president in the history of, but you know what, I’ll take that also, but that you could be. But he said, will be the greatest president but I would also accept the other. In other words, if you do your job, but I accept that. Then I watched him interviewed and it was like he never even was here. It’s incredible. I watched him interviewed a week later and it’s like he was never in my office. And you can even say that.”

[font size="8"]Steve King[/font]

Let’s spin the wheel, shall we? And it lands on…. Wait for it… clip without context!

Closet Nazis? So tell me discount Tony Stark - weren’t the Nazis already outed on the Producers? Sorry, Theodore, but I think Mel Brooks already beat you to it.

Spin it again! And it lands on… People Who Somehow Got Elected! Hit it! Politicians at national, state and local levels who are so terrible , you wonder how they got elected in the first place. Or in this case reelected. It’s now time for another installment of:

This week: Iowa representative Steve King. There’s racism, then there’s southern racism, and then Steve King takes it to a whole new level of batshit crazy. And in case you think we’re kidding, he says some horribly racist, backwards shit nearly every single day. He’s not just a part of the problem that we have Trump as our president. No, he’s a massive part of the cause of the reason why we have Trump as our president. Yes, you heard me. This week, he said this:

Rep. Steve King (R-IA) on Tuesday poured a cold one to celebrate U.S. Customs and Border Protection’s deportation of an undocumented immigrant who was legally protected under the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program.

USA Today reported on Wednesday that in February, federal agents deported Manuel Montes despite his active DACA status.

Montes, who is 23 years old, was brought to the United States at age 9. He has lived in the country since and received deportation protections twice under the program, per USA Today. According to the report, federal agents refused to let him retrieve his ID or prove his status and deported Montes within hours of approaching him.

President Donald Trump in January told ABC News that DACA recipients “shouldn’t be very worried.”

Read more: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/steve-king-toasts-border-patrol-for-deporting-dreamer

Yes, booo!!! You know, fine ales, wines, and liquors are meant to be drank in celebration when something good happens. Not to celebrate something terrible happening. Steve King just answered the question Bill Maher asked – “What would a dick do?”. This is exactly what a dick would do. But this isn’t the only time Steve King got caught saying something racist. There’s this:

As my colleague David Graham points out, these utterances are all Classic King. Speaking to MSNBC’s Chris Hayes last year, King unambiguously stated that he believed “Western civilization” had contributed more to human civilization than any other “category” of people. It was, as Graham writes, “Nonchalantly delivered, stunningly offensive, and completely fact-free, since non-white people, and indeed non-Western people, have contributed a great a deal to the world.”

Speaking to Cuomo yesterday, King was marginally more accepting of these unnamed other “categories” of human beings, offering that certain groups “contribute differently to our culture and civilization,” but maintaining his opinion that “certain groups of people will do more from a productive side than other groups of people will. That’s just a statistical fact.”

Though King offered that he would one day like to see “an America that is so homogenous that we look a lot the same...” and that he believed there’s been “far too much focus on race,” ahem, “especially in the last eight years. I want to see that put behind us,” the more alarmingly racist and floridly delusional parts of his message are the ones that have proven most popular—and increasingly so—in America today. No less than the sitting president of the United States, Donald Trump, told an audience in Iowa in 2014 that King had “the right views on almost everything.”

So if Steve King is on the right side of Donald Trump, then who’s on the wrong side? That is the one million dollar question on the table. In fact in the last month, he has also said that we can’t rebuild civilization with somebody else’s babies. Damn, so there goes my plan.

Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) has gained notoriety for his often contentious — and, occasionally, almost overtly racist — comments about immigration and the demographics of the United States. On Sunday, in a tweet about the nationalist Dutch politician Geert Wilders, King again appears to have crossed the line.

“Wilders understands that culture and demographics are our destiny,” King wrote. “We can’t restore our civilization with somebody else’s babies.”

The formulation of “our” civilization being at risk from “somebody else’s babies” is a deliberate suggestion that American civilization is threatened by unnamed “others” — almost certainly a reference to non-Westerners. The idea that national identity and racial identity overlap entirely is the crux of white nationalism; King’s formulation above toes close to that line, if it doesn’t cross. American culture, of course, was formed over the past two centuries by the assimilation of immigrants from a broad range of nations — first mostly European but later a broader diaspora. Iowa, the state King represents, remains one of the most homogeneously white in the United States.

But if you think these are isolated incidents, you are wrong. You’re as wrong as Trump saying “wrong” while sniffing… something. Here’s a few other choice quotes from Steve King. Like this:

Iowa Rep. Steve King said Monday that blacks and Hispanics "will be fighting each other" before overtaking whites in the US population.

King, a Republican, was on the radio responding to a question about Univision anchor Jorge Ramos' comment to Tucker Carlson on Fox News that whites would become a majority-minority demographic in America by 2044, a point Ramos used to make the argument that it is a multiracial country.

"Jorge Ramos' stock in trade is identifying and trying to drive wedges between race," King told Iowa radio host Jan Mickelson on 1040 WHO. "Race and ethnicity, I should say to be more correct. When you start accentuating the differences, then you start ending up with people that are at each other's throats. And he's adding up Hispanics and blacks into what he predicts will be in greater number than whites in America. I will predict that Hispanics and the blacks will be fighting each other before that happens."

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/14/politics/kfile-steve-king-prediction/index.html

And then there’s this. You know – compulsive liars and compulsive racists often go hand in hand, and these people just can’t help themselves. Every time you think Steve King is going to stop being a racist, you might think Trump might stop being a liar. In fact Steve King lies so much he thinks Iowa’s universities should be “purged of leftists”:

Conservative congressman and Trump ally Rep. Steve King (R-IA) urged the President on Sunday to “purge Leftists” from his administration before they “sink us.”

On his Twitter account, King made the recommendation while posting a story from Conservative Review’s Daniel Horowitz.

Why does NW Iowa continue to elect Steve King to a federal office when his only trick is to shit on the carpet?

and my 3rd district Trump taint licker David Young (white bread and mayo) is no prize. Link to his latest say nothing interview on KMA


Yeah… racists. In fact Steve King’s unfiltered, uncensored brand of racism is so horrible that it’s attracted the attention of the House Ethics Committee – who himself said he would repeal the “Ethics Commission completely”

“I like Lindsey, he has the best sense of humor of anybody in the entire legislature, but I completely disagree with him on that. Lindsey should know, and I believe Lindsey knows, that you get one shot at writing the rules for the two year period of time that this 115th Congress will be seated, that was the shot. I will say it would have been handled better if we had bi-partisan agreement and it would have been handled better if we bought it to the floor as an amendment under an open rule so we had an opportunity to massage these rules….but it’s a political situation now, as ethics always are, and they caved into a tweet.”

—Rep Steve King reacts to Senator Lindsey Graham calling the House ethics reform bill the “dumbest friggin thing I’ve ever heard”.

Yes, he really hates ethics. That’s Iowa rep Steve King – yet another someone who was inexplicably one of the:

[font size="8"]Alex Jones[/font]

Entering the spin zone! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP!!! And it lands on… clip without context!

Shh! Just let him ramble. Let's bask in this one for all its' batshit crazy glory. Spin it again! And it lands on… Infowars! Shit, we really have to talk about Infowars this week? Can I get a bonus spin? No? OK fine. Well last week we covered Alex Jones and his insane divorce trial. And you know about his “Joker” defense. Well, did you know that he smokes rather potent strains of weed once a year to test their potency? Yes, Alex Jones admits he smokes rather potent strains of weed. Just contemplate that for a minute.

Right-wing radio host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones told a jury at his child custody trial that he smoked marijuana in Texas to test out its strength.

During cross-examination Wednesday, Bobby Newman, an attorney for Jones’ ex-wife, Kelly Jones, pressed him on allegations of infidelity and Jones also defended himself saying his InfoWars persona is not a trick, the Austin American-Statesman reported.

Newman questioned Jones on whether he had sex with another woman after his new wife, Erika, had moved in. The host acknowledged in an affidavit that he continued sleeping with the other woman, who remains a friend, until March 2016.

As if it couldn’t get any weirder, Alex Jones is one weird dude. Well, coming out of his divorce trial, there were some stunning insane revelations. This is one of the weirder ones. And it’s one of those that makes both sides of your brain shut down and go “LET’S FIGURE IT OUT!!!!”:

Over the weekend, Alex Jones posted a video on his Infowars website in which he claimed that, by his “conservative” estimate, he already “had over 150 women” by the time he turned 16.

Jones was laying out his theory that most people today are nothing more than children until they reach the age of 40 … unlike himself, who achieved full manhood by the time he was 16 years old.

“You’re supposed to have children in every culture, biologically, by 16,” Jones claimed. “If you’re not having them by 16, there’s something wrong with you. Oh, but see, there’s college—the priesthood you’ve got to get into—and then by then, oh, you’ve got to make money because you’re in debt, oh, you don’t have time for kids.”

“Oh, you’re 40, you’re finally halfway out of debt, oh, you want to have some fun now, oh, you try to find a woman,” he continued. “Oh, she’s barren, she’s doing the same thing. By the time you figure out you want to live, by the time you hit 16 at 40—I’m giving you the big knowledge folks—at 40, on average—and they do this by design—you are the equivalent of a 16-year-old.”

I like that one! But really – conservatives and women. How can any sane women out there support this guy? Really, I want to know! I mean… 150 women by the time he was 16? I couldn’t get one! What is he smoking? OK, I answered my own question. By the way, I love Stephen Colbert’s new character “Tuck Buckford” who is mocking Alex Jones relentlessly:


Though Colbert doesn’t get as angry as Jones does. I don’t think even the best actors on the planet could get as angry as Jones does. In fact it took a team of psychiatrists to examine why Alex Jones is literally ripping his shirt off in Infowars videos:

To be clear — this is speculation:

1. It’s an attention-grabbing shtick to show power. Wrestlers like Hulk Hogan are well-known for this. Alex Jones has built a video show on a shoestring by selling supplements and T-shirts and shirt removal is part of the entertainment value.

2. One of Alex Jones’s philosophical touch points is the fight between man (e.g., freedom, individualism) and the machine (e.g., deep state, social control, transhumanism). The nakedness is a display of humanity.

3. Vanity and exhibitionism might also be an issue. He was allegedly diagnosed with NPD [narcissistic personality disorder] in some of the reporting I saw. He certainly has a “big” personality, but with Alex Jones I would think the most common personality description would be paranoid because of the interest in conspiracy theories. However, with the world as it is now, it is sometimes hard to tell the difference between conspiracy theory and conspiracy facts.

But this is my favorite part of this whole story. Well let’s roll tape first.

And this prompted an almost instant from Chobani Yogurt:

The greek yogurt brand Chobani is suing Alex Jones and his website InfoWars after the conspiracy theorist published false information linking the company’s owner to a sexual assault case involving refugee children.

Chobani seeks at least $10,000 in damages and an admission of wrongdoing from InfoWars after the conspiracy site published a series of articles alleging a link between owner Hamdi Ulukaya and Twin Falls, an Idaho city where three refugee boys sexually assaulted a 5-year old in an apartment complex’s laundry room.

As the Idaho Statesmen reports, Ulukaya—a Turkish immigrant who has publicly advocated for refugees—has in the past been a target for threats and misinformation. InfoWars published several false articles linking Chobani to Twin Falls, including, “Idaho Yogurt Maker Caught Importing Migrant Rapists” and “MSM Covers for Globalist’s Refugee Import Program after Child Rape Case.”

[font size="8"]Ann Coulter[/font]

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Wheel goes ‘round, wheel goes ‘round, wheel goes ‘round. And it lands on… Something random in the news!

A Florida man allegedly broke into a woman's home -- but instead of stealing her valuables, he simply helped himself to some alcohol and fried chicken.

Ronald Wesly, 34, was found using Samantha O'Neal's stove cooking up trouble when she and her sister returned home on Wednesday, WOFL reports.

Fried Chicken And Beer – hey that’s the name of my new country music album! Featuring such classics as “Hold My Beer”, “Clogged Arteries”, and “Wine ‘Em And Dine ‘Em”. Spin it again… and it lands on… Fox News! So here we go with the free speech brigade again. Note – we here the top 10 support free speech 100% and don’t think anyone’s rights should be trampled on. That disclaimer aside, last week we mentioned that Ann Coulter got bumped from UC Berkeley over violence concerns:

Officials at the University of California at Berkeley on Thursday reversed their decision to cancel a speech by conservative firebrand Ann Coulter.

The university had announced Wednesday that it was canceling Coulter’s appearance following several political protests in Berkeley that turned violent. But on Thursday, the university said it had found a venue where it could hold the speech on May 2, instead of the original April 27 date. However, a leader of the college Republican group that originally invited Coulter said the university was placing strict conditions on the event, and he said his group intended to reject the new terms.

Before the reversal was announced, Coulter had vowed to go ahead with an appearance anyway.

Ooh, I like that one. So Ann got booted from UC Berkeley, who quickly redacted the redaction of the original invite. Yeah you read that right. So what happened when Berkeley tried to invite Ann back to speak at the university?

Ann Coulter is rejecting an offer to speak at the University of California at Berkeley on a new date, after the university canceled her event over safety concerns, then quickly reversed itself saying it would reschedule it.

Coulter says she can’t make it the new date and accused the university of continuing to try to place restrictions on her free speech. And the student group that invited Coulter is now threatening to sue the school.

The university on Wednesday announced that it was canceling Coulter’s April 27 appearance following several political protests in Berkeley that turned violent. But amid mounting criticism and national attention, the school on Thursday said it had found a venue where it could hold the speech on a different date, May 2.

So let me get this straight – the GOP – the party that hates trial lawyers, is hiring trial lawyers to sue UC Berkeley to allow Ann Coulter, a woman who hates liberalism and liberal education from universities like UC Berkeley to speak.

BERKELEY, Calif. (AP) — The University of California at Berkeley students who invited Ann Coulter to speak on campus are threatening to sue the university if it doesn't find a proper time and venue for the conservative pundit to speak next week.

Harmeet Dhillon, who represents the Berkeley College Republicans, said in letters sent Friday to UC Berkeley's Interim Vice Chancellor Stephen Sutton and chief attorney Christopher Patti that if Coulter is not allowed to give a speech on campus on April 27 she will file a lawsuit in federal court because the university is violating the students' constitutional right to free speech.

[font size="8"]Starbucks[/font]

Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… another clip without context!

Spin it again! And it lands on… “I Need A Drink”!

And this time we’re actually going to talk about a real drink. Sigh… millennials, what the fuck are you doing? I mean really, what the fuck are you doing? Is this what our planet has come to? We really need this as a fucking drink? In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, unless you live under a rock, you know that this week, Starbucks debuted this as a drink.

SEATTLE, WA (NBC News) — Starbucks is taking the unicorn trend to a new level with its first flavor-changing “Unicorn Frappuccino.”

The magical-looking drink changes color and flavor as it’s swirled. It starts as a purple beverage with swirls of blue and a first taste that is sweet and fruity.

Give it a stir, and its color changes to pink and the flavor evolves to tangy and tart.

It’s available for a limited time, starting this Wednesday through Sunday while supplies last.

This is a real fucking product! This exists! And it’s so controversial that it’s causing a shit storm on both sides. The people who love this drink really love it. And the people who hate this drink really hate it.

Starbucks fans and celebrities are buzzing over the coffee megastore’s Unicorn Frappuccino, the sparkly and color-changing new frozen beverage that photographs well but has gotten some harsh reviews, taste-wise. Just ask Katy Perry.

The 32-year-old “Chained to the Rhythm” singer gave the limited-time drink a taste on Thursday, showing off her negative reaction in her Instagram Story.

Covering up her short pixie cut with a long Cher-hair blonde wig, Perry seemed excited to sip the drink at first. But as it hit her mouth, her face changed to that of disgust — and she quickly spit it out.

Come on, if you make Katy Perry gag, you know your product is shit! But how shitty is it? Well…

Though Starbucks’ new Unicorn Frappuccino has garnered national attention for its whimsical name and and enchanting, pink-and-blue color scheme, at least one local group in Connecticut is cautioning people about its oh-so-sweet content.

On Friday, the Stratford Health Department succinctly called out the drink’s high sugar content on its Facebook page. “While the Unicorn Frappuccino may be pretty to look at, it's loaded with 59 grams of sugar! That is over two times the amount of sugar recommended by the American Heart Association!”

That statement likely shocked few fans, as the Unicorn Frappuccino contains four kinds of syrup, according to its ingredients label — Frappuccino syrup (Water, Sugar, Salt, Natural And Artificial Flavor, Xanthan Gum, Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid); Mango Syrup (Sugar, Water, Mango Juice Concentrate, Natural Flavor, Passion Fruit Juice Concentrate, Citric Acid, Potassium Sorbate, Turmeric, Gum Arabic); Vanilla Syrup (Sugar, Water, Natural Flavors, Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid) and Classic Syrup (Sugar, Water, Natural Flavors, Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid). The calorie count is also high, at 410 per 16 fluid-ounce serving.

By the way – l love Jimmy Kimmel’s latest offering – the “Fuck-It-Ccino”:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest Round 12: Montana Vs. Missouri[/font]

Let’s spin the wheel one final time this week… and it lands on… Stupidest State Contest, hit it!

16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! If you need a reminder of the conferences, there’s the Batshit Conference, the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, the Gun Nut Conference, and the Family Values Conference. Last week, Kansas out spent Michigan in the area of batshit crazy to become the greediest state! They will go on to face Texas in the Layover League Championship next week! Whew!!! And the odds are going to be about even in the Kansas – Texas shootout. This week – the Flyover League darlings in Tennessee are awaiting their opponent. Who will outduel to be called the reigning champion of the Gun Nut Conference? Yes – the Gun Nut Conference, where shooting first and asking questions later isn’t just a way of life, it’s mandatory! Who will be the last state to enter the Final Four? Will it be Montana’s white supremacists or will it be Missouri’s heavily armed police? Let’s get out our brackets, shall we?

[font size="6"]Round 12: Gun Nut Conference Championship: #2 Montana Vs #3 Missouri[/font]

[font size="4"]Montana [/font]

So next on our Stupidest State Contest, we go back to none other than the Treasure State, Montana. You know folks, Montana is the home to some world class ski resorts including Whitefish, Kalliope, The Montana Snowbowl, the Bridge Bowl, and Red Lodge. It’s also home to such universities as the University Of Montana, UM Missoula, and Flathead Valley. It’s also the home of Yellowstone National Park – the basis for one of the most popular cartoon characters of all time – Yogi Bear. I hope Ranger Rick isn’t around because Yogi looks like he’s going to steal some picnic baskets. And it’s also the home of Old Faithful. But you know what else Montana is the home of? It’s the home of racism. And lots and lots of it! You know we reported on this incident a lot the last time we visited Montana. But it’s not going away any time soon. The alt right (or alt reich), is getting crazier and crazier, and when death threats are involved, that can’t be a good thing, can it?

A Montana real estate agent who said she and her 12-year-old son received hundreds of threatening anti-Semitic messages after a neo-Nazi website called on its readers to launch a "troll storm" against her sued the site's owner in federal court on Tuesday.

Real estate agent Tanya Gersh filed a civil suit accusing the publisher of the white supremacist Daily Stormer website, Andrew Anglin, of invading her privacy, intentionally inflicting emotional distress and violating the state's anti-intimidation act by calling on his readers in December to target her with e-mails and phone calls.

That followed a dispute over a property in Gersh's town of Whitefish, Montana, owned by Sherry Spencer, the mother of white nationalist Richard Spencer, who earned national attention for shouting "Hail Trump" at a Washington, D.C., conference following Donald Trump's election win last year.

Anglin did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
Read more: http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-lawsuit-hate-idUSKBN17K24D

And why do we get the uneasy feeling that when the Nazis are happy, that can’t be a good thing at all, can it? And in case you’re wondering if Montana’s gun nuts couldn’t be any more blatantly racist, their governor is among many who flat out rejects the idea of Sharia Law. So if you’re keeping score at home, Sharia Law – not OK, Deuteronomy Law – why that’s just fine and dandy!

Gov. Steve Bullock vetoed a bill that would have banned Sharia and other foreign laws from being used in Montana courts, saying Thursday that the measure would "upend our legal system and debase what we stand for as Montanans and Americans."

Montana was one of the 13 states considering legislation seeking to prevent the use of foreign law in state courts. While the bill's focus was not on Sharia law, some supporters specifically spoke out against the religious law used in some parts of the Islamic world.

Some Republicans sided with Democrats in opposing the measure but could not block it from going to the governor.

"There is absolutely no need for this bill," Bullock wrote in his veto message, adding that the proposal could add to the "nationwide surge in hate crimes."


So what does this have to do with Montana and guns? Well guns and excessive racism tend to go hand in hand, as evidenced with the emergence of the Black Lives Matter movement, and the combination of extremely loose guns with a culture deeply engrossed in hardcore racism, and you get Montana. In fact this was a bill that actually made it to the governor’s office this very week:

HELENA — Montana's governor has sent a bill back to lawmakers that would have allowed people carry concealed weapons in restaurants that sell alcohol, saying weapons and intoxicating beverages don't mix.

In an amendatory veto Friday, the governor wrote that "Montanans recognize that guns and alcohol in public places don't mix."

He said the bill, House Bill 494, carried by Rep. Seth Berglee, R-Joliet, would create uncertainty. The bill would have let a person with a valid permit to carry a concealed weapon to bring a concealed gun into any restaurant where alcohol is not the chief item for sale.

The governor's veto would only allow concealed weapons in restaurants where alcohol is not served.

Gee………. Ya think guns in restaurants is a bad idea? I mean we live in a country where this exists:

That's a gun shot, by the way. Oklahoma City entrepreneurs are opening a gun range next month where both alcohol and full automatic machine guns will be on tap.

"We're the only range in Oklahoma that has a liquor license to serve alcohol," said Larry McAlister, a spokesman for Wilshire Gun, which is still under construction.

When Wilshire Gun opens in July, it will feature 24 firing lanes, a separate section for archery, and the lounge, where alcohol will be served. McAlister said that customers can bring their own guns, or can rent firearms from Wilshire's arsenal, which will include machine guns.

Yup – guns and alcohol! What a magnificent combination! So you think guns in restaurants is a bad idea do you? Well this is even coming from a governor who got endorsements from not one, not two, but 3, yes, 3 different “gun rights” organizations and the NRA. Why do gun rights organizations exist? Guns have more rights than people in this country!

Greg Gianforte has accused Gov. Steve Bullock of overstating or outright lying about his record on gun rights, suggesting he would align with Hillary Clinton “to take our guns away.”

“There’s only one candidate endorsed by the NRA,” Gianforte has said in variations during interviews and debates. “That’s me.”

And by the way if you’re wondering if Montana’s gun nuts are as crazy as their state legislatures, I give you this:

(CNN) - The man accused of robbing a Wisconsin gun shop and mailing a manifesto to President Donald Trump was captured Friday after a 10-day manhunt, the Rock County Sheriff's Office said.

Joseph A. Jakubowski, 32, was apprehended before 6 a.m. at a campsite in Vernon County, Wisconsin, the sheriff's office said. He was taken into custody without incident after a large number of law enforcement officers surrounded him.

Authorities who spoke Friday afternoon at a news conference said they were relieved the arrest was made.

And Montana is also the home of the Doomsday Preppers craze. I’m almost kind of obsessed with doomsday preppers – because they’re a special breed of crazy. If you don’t believe me, just watch last year’s doomsday flick “10 Cloverfield Lane” and witness the insanity of John Goodman’s character. If Montana wins, in the next round we’re going to do a deep dive on doomsday preppers. So here’s how crazy doomsday preppers are in Montana:

Thousands of Americans are flocking to "Big Sky" country, and this movement has become so prominent that it has even caught the attention of the mainstream media. Within the last several weeks, both the Chicago Tribune and the Economist have done major articles on this phenomenon. From all over the country, conservatives, preppers and Bible-believing Christians are moving to Montana, Wyoming, Idaho and the eastern portions of Oregon and Washington. As you will see below, this region has become known as the "American Redoubt," and for a variety of reasons it is considered by many survivalists to be one of the top "safe zones" for when things really start falling apart in this nation.

Many of you that are reading this article may think that it is quite strange that families are quitting their jobs, packing up everything they own and moving to the middle of nowhere, but for those that are doing it this actually make perfect sense. A recent Chicago Tribune article on this phenomenon began by profiling an ex-California couple that decided to flee the state for the friendly confines of north Idaho:

[font size="4"]Missouri [/font]

Finally, the last state we have to cover in the Hateful 8 is none other than the Show Me State – and of course you know them as Missouri. Missouri is the home of such universities as the University Of Missouri (aka Mizzou), Missouri State, Linderwood, and University Of Missouri – St. Louis. Missouri is also the home of Branson – yes, picture all the bland entertainment of the Las Vegas Strip – except even blander and no Las Vegas Strip. Branson is the home of the comedy stylings of Yakov Smirnof (in Soviet Russia, war fights you!), and country music and doo wop tribute bands. And you’d think after the massive, worldwide fallout from the horrifying shooting of Michael Brown, you would think that Missouri would know better when it comes to guns!

Missouri had 880 gun deaths, or a rate of 14.56, and 781 motor vehicle deaths, or a rate of 12.92.

The five states with the highest rates of gun deaths were Alaska, Louisiana, Wyoming, Tennessee and Missouri. Illinois wasn’t mentioned in the Violence Policy Center report.

Missouri gun deaths have outpaced motor vehicle deaths three years in a row.

The Violence Policy Center points out that more than 90 percent of households own a vehicle, and less than a third have a firearm


So Missouri is one of the states in the country with the highest concentration of gun deaths. Surpassing even NRA favorite South Carolina. And in case you’re wondering if the candidates in Missouri would put a stop to this, well…


"Missouri television commercials are suddenly full of scenes of guns being loaded, prayers being offered and big smiles being smiled. Yes, campaign-advertising season is here.

The four candidates for Missouri's Republican nomination for governor — businessman John Brunner, former Navy SEAL Eric Greitens, former Missouri House Speaker Catherine Hanaway and Lt. Gov. Peter Kinder — all have new campaign ads out this week. Two of them feature firearms. One shows an explosion.

The winner of the Aug. 2 Republican gubernatorial primary will likely face Democratic Attorney General Chris Koster."

And Missouri is also the home of Rush Limabugh. Sure, he may live in a gaudy palace in Miami now, and by the way we really need to teach conservatives some lessons in interior decorating, am I right? I mean here’s Limbaugh’s house:

Compare that with Trump’s:

Can’t tell the difference, can you? Am I right? Getting off track here. But Limbaugh has said things on guns like this:

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh told his listeners on Monday the true motive behind the recent school shooting in Colorado. The cause? Liberalism.

“The media doesn’t want you to know this,” Limbaugh said on his program. “But practically every one of these young kids shooting up schools is inspired by something to do with leftism, socialism, what have you. Every one of them is.”

Last week, 18-year-old Karl Pierson injured a classmate at Arapohoe High School in Colorado before killing himself. His classmates told the Denver Post that he disliked Republicans and “described him as a very opinionated Socialist.”

After the newspaper labeled the gunman “a socialist,” it later removed that description. The updated copy was changed to, “Thomas Conrad, who had an economics class with Pierson, described him as very opinionated.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Blaming liberalism for gun shootings is like blaming your weight gain on the protein supplement you bought after you clicked the “You May Like” button with the headline “MEN TURNING INTO BEASTS WITH POWERFUL NEW MARKET TESTED WEIGHT GAIN SUPPLEMENT!” Dude, you clicked on a link in the “You May Like” section and ordered without reading a word. You deserve whatever side effects you get. Thank you! You both know the dog didn’t do it, And in case you’re also wondering , Missouri leads the whole United States in the terms of the most stolen guns in the country!

Gun store burglaries nationwide are on the rise.

But Ron Quick isn’t too worried.

For him, concrete barricades and security cameras — among other things — are enough to protect his business.

He’s owned Quick’s Guns and Transfers in Kansas City, Kan., for about two years, opening it after closing Quick’s BBQ at the same location. The old dining room is the gun store’s display room.

“I have no more concern now owning a gun store than I did with a restaurant, to be quite honest,” Quick said.

But the statistics show gun stores increasingly are becoming the targets of thieves.

Last year, 558 burglaries of federally licensed gun dealers were reported nationwide — up nearly 50 percent from five years ago, according to the latest data from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

And then there’s even more than that! You know if you’re wondering if Missouri’s lawmakers have learned their lessons in their reckless disregard for the 2nd amendment, you’re not alone:

Last week, Republican infighting about different issues virtually shut down Senate business. The Missouri legislature has three weeks left in its regular session.

Since the General Assembly convened on January 4, legislators have sent Governor Eric Greitens (R) five bills. Those measures include barring mandatory union fees in the workplace, changes to the procedure for determining expert witness testimony in jury court cases, creating regulations for ridesharing companies to expand statewide and increasing penalties against those for the off-label use of herbicides on crops.

If the upper chamber can’t revive, several critical bills could die this session. Some of them could have life or death consequences.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Oh my god, Montana has outdueled Missouri and they will be headed to face Tennessee for the Flyover League championship. This was a beat down. Montana has all the country’s gun manufacturers and they have all the guns. They took no shit from the police in Missouri! Final score – 101 – 78! Wow, holy crap that was epic! They will go on to face Tennessee in next week’s Flyover League Championship. Just that and the Layover Championship remain until we crown our stupidest state! Stay tuned for next week’s Layover League championship – Kansas. Texas. This will be epic!

[font size="8"]And now this:[/font]
[font size="8"]Dreamcar[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a brand new band to present to you. So new their album isn’t even out yet – and that’s a first for the Top 10! Playing their song “Kill For Candy” off their new album “Dreamcar”, available everywhere on 5/12/17, please welcome Dreamcar!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!

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