Letter from Trump's Lawyer
Last edited Tue May 9, 2017, 05:09 PM - Edit history (1)
To Whom It May Concern:
As a really great independent lawyer who has had the fantastic honor of representing Donald J. Trump for many many years, even before he made history by winning the President Contest with the greatest electoral college margin in history, which is almost impossible for a Republican to do, I hereby promise that the following is really really true:
1. Donald J. Trump has nothing to do with Russia. He never met Putin. He never met Michael Flynn. Also he never met Paul Manafort. Or Carter Page. Or Roger Stone. Or Rex Tillerson, or Jeff Sessions, or whoever is found out next.
2. Donald J. Trump has bigly divested himself of all financial dealings with Russia, not that there were any, but if there were, he was out of it when he blindly trusted his sons with the business. Mr. Trump and his sons never talk business. They never even talk. They hardly ever see each other. They might even pass on 5th Avenue without recognizing each other.
3. Donald J. Trump might recognize Ivanka Trump in the hallways of the White House, but they never discuss business either. Also, Ivanka doesn't talk to her husband, Jared Kushner, who might have bumped into a Russian person now and then, and struck up a conversation, but really, who hasn't?
3a. Donald J. Trump hasn't.
4. Donald J. Trump never colluded with Russia during the 2016 election campaign. The real issue here, that the fake media never reports, is that intelligence agencies were ordered by Barack Obama to wiretap Trump Tower. Otherwise, how would they even know about the communications with Russia? If there were any. Which there weren't.
5. Donald J. Trump is totally NOT compromised by the Kremlin. Most of the fake dossier might be true, but Mr. Trump has completely disproven, refuted, dismissed and practically erased from your mind the video part by saying "I'm a germaphobe, alright?"
6. Donald J. Trump might happen to believe Vladimir Putin is a great leader, okay? He might happen to believe Crimea is better off under Russia's control, alright? He might like traveling to Moscow if he did travel to Moscow which he didn't or if he did he can't recall now, is that a crime?
6a. That is not a crime.
In summarizationalizing, it is the biggest most horrible lyingest thing to say that Donald J. Trump is in any way connected to, controlled by, or financially involved with, or hiding anything or whatever, and speaking of hiding things why is the fake media ignoring Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.
Now that this is signed and notarized and official, there's no reason for any more investigations, hearings or talking about it.
Sincerely,
I. Ben Payed
The Totally Best Lawyer in the World, Esquire
= new reply since forum marked as read
Bob Boudelang couldn't have done it better.
