My flaw/short coming/whatever you want to call it.

[Catmusicfan]

I am admitting this in hopes I can fix this in myself to be a better person. I believe I am racists to a group of people. I have friends who are straight and who are gay/lesbian I even have a Transgender friend. I have friends of all racists and nationalities but I have to admit when I see one pairing I do a mental gasp and get surprise.

If a I see a couple where one is person is white and one is African/African-American. I skip a beat before I accept it or am my normal self. The black friend of that couple think I am not racist That it is a subconscious condition that comes from living in America that most people have and I have not acted any differently to them (they are a Gay couple) than the other gay couple I know.


So what can I do to fix this in myself.

[shraby]

1. Just remember, all humans bleed red and cry salty tears and all

eventually die. The thing to do is treat them all the time like you'd want to be treated

[Catmusicfan]

2. I try. I hate I am surprised and do the mental gasp.

Thanks.

[TheBlackAdder]

3. Conscious awareness, which seems to exist, is the primary component. One needs to be aware to change

Over time, as you catch yourself, you will slowly adjust your instincts and base reactions.

Time, awareness and desire to change are the top three factors.

[Phoenix61]

4. If you saw a couple and she was 6'5" and he was 5'7"

would you have the same gasp? My guess is you would. I know I would. Not out of prejudice but because it is something different. Our brains automatically make note of things that are different from what we usually encounter. Noticing, to me, doesn't seem like a problem, it's treating people like they are less than us that's the problem. Based on your post, it doesn't seem that you do that.

[canetoad]

5. Darlz, and I say this lovingly

Stop yearning for approval.

Abysmally deep as this may sound, you are who you are. Do not, I repeat NOT look for approval on the internet. It is the path to insanity.

[cwydro]

6. Good advice. nt