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Flo Mingo

(492 posts)
Thu Jul 13, 2017, 09:35 AM Jul 2017

Defend, Deflect and Deny

One of the biggest frustrations in my relationship with my ex was her unwillingness to EVER engage in a rational discussion about my feelings about our relationship. It didn't matter what the subject was, the reaction was predictable:

DEFEND herself with something that would start with......"That's because....." but still not willing to talk about the root of our discussion, only an interest in defending her actions.

DEFLECT the discussion by throwing in a bizarre absolute, like, "You always criticize me for........" or "You're just trying to make me look bad."

DENY that my concern had any validity, like, oh this is a good one. I once asked her, "Why do you think you have such a difficult time even acknowledging my feelings, let alone discussing them?" She replied, "I don't." (camel's back, meet the straw)

Anyway, it occurred to me that this is the process of Trump, his supporters and the entire GOP when it comes to each and every new scandal that arises.

First Deny it ever happened: No hacking, didn't happen, fake news
Then Deflect the conversation: Hillary ran a bad campaign. Why isn't anybody talking about all the winning?
Then Defend actions that were previously denied and deflected: What if there was collusion, it's not illegal.

It's no wonder Americans' heads are spinning. It took me 20 years to exit a toxic relationship because I had normalized dysfunction.

So many parallels happening it feels a little like PTSD.






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