HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » Looks like Scaramucci has...

Thu Jul 27, 2017, 06:18 PM

Looks like Scaramucci has gone FULL Malcolm Tucker....

Series 3, Episode 2

Malcolm: Look, don't worry. The PM is not going to sack you after a week. Sacked after twelve months, looks like you've fucked up. Sacked after a week, looks like he's fucked up.

Nicola: I'm not doing terribly, am I?(beat)

Malcolm: (Looking out window) I love the way they've sandblasted everything around here. It's so clean!

Malcolm: (To his driver) Pull in here. And you can take out that cyclist on the way, I think he's Shadow Cabinet.

Robyn: Do you know, Malcolm... (Malcolm stares back, gravely) the best way to clear a paper jam?

Malcolm: I don't know... kill a kid an hour until it sorts itself out?

Ollie: (To Glenn) You can't overwrite minutes! Well, you specifically can't because you don't know how to unlock the PDF file.

Malcolm: (Nicola has accidentally revealed a DoSAC-caused catastrophe to an on-the-record journalist) ...FUCK'S SAKE! JESUS CHRIST! Well, now we've got another fuckin' adjective to add to fuckin' 'smug' and 'glum', haven't we? FUCKIN' 'RETARDED'! Jesus Chri-- Do you not think it would be germane to check who you're talking to?! IT'S A FUCKIN' NEWSPAPER OFFICE! IT'S NOT A FUCKIN' SANATORIUM FOR THE FUCKIN' DEAF, IS IT?! ARE YOU SO DENSE?! Am I gonna have to run around slapping badges on people, with a big tick on some and a big cross on others, so you know when to shut your gob and when to open it?! Jesus Christ! Oh, but that'll probably confuse you as well, won't it?! That'd be too confusing! You'd see the cross and go "Oh, fuck! 'X' marks the spot! Better tell this little person about the Prime Minister's fucking CATASTROPHIC ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION!" Oh, but not to worry, not to worry. You've sent fuckin' Ollie over there to deal with it. FUCKIN' OLLIE! HE'S A FUCKIN', HE'S A FUCKIN' KNITTED SCARF, THAT TWAT! HE'S A FUCKIN' BALACLAVA!!

(Nicola and Terri sit down in Malcolm's office)Malcolm: I just wanted to say to you, by way of introductory remarks, that I am extremely miffed about today's events and, in my quest to try and make you understand the level of my unhappiness, I'm likely to use an awful lot of what we would call "Violent Sexual Imagery", and I just wanted to check that neither of you would be terribly offended by that.

Nicola: I could actually do without the theatrics, I think Malcolm--

Malcolm: Enough. E-fucking-nough. You need to learn to shut your fucking cave, right? Today, you have laid your first, big, fat egg of solid fuck. You took the data loss media strategy and you ate with a lump of E. coli. And then you sprayed it our of your arse at 300mph.

Malcolm: The Kraken awakes!

Nicola: You said yourself that if the PM sacks me after a week, it looks like he's fucked up.

Malcolm: Yeah, but that was before, when your biggest problem was a fucking shit pun in a newspaper and a face like Dot Cotton licking piss off a nettle!

2 replies, 2918 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 2 replies Author Time Post
Reply Looks like Scaramucci has gone FULL Malcolm Tucker.... (Original post)
OnDoutside Jul 2017 OP
Bleacher Creature Jul 2017 #1
OnDoutside Jul 2017 #2

Response to OnDoutside (Original post)

Thu Jul 27, 2017, 06:24 PM

1. In all fairness, he's been on the job a whole six days!! NT

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to Bleacher Creature (Reply #1)

Thu Jul 27, 2017, 06:26 PM

2. I think that's called PRESSURE ! He must feel the hate.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread