Women Harbor No Secret Desire To See Genitals

[L. Coyote]

http://www.theonion.com/article/nations-women-clarify-they-harbor-no-secret-desire-57186

NEWS IN BRIEF (no pun intended) - 10.12.17 Vol 53 Issue 40
Nation’s Women Clarify They Harbor No Secret Desire To See Colleagues’, Acquaintances’, Strangers’ Genitals
‘If There Were Any Lingering Doubts, Rest Assured We Do Not Need Them Shown To Us’

WASHINGTON—Explaining that anyone with any lingering doubts could rest assured that the answer was an unequivocal “no,” women across the nation on Thursday clarified that they harbor no secret desire to see any of their colleagues’, acquaintances’, or complete strangers’ genitals. “We would like to state this as unambiguously as possible to anyone who might still be confused on this matter: We have never and will never want you to show us your sexual organs,” read a joint statement by the nation’s 125 million women, which went on to emphasize that coworkers, friends, friends of friends, and random people on the street or public transportation were in no way authorized to display their private parts to women under any conditions and for all eternity. “We categorically decline to view unsolicited photos and videos of genitalia, and we most definitely do not wish to be exposed to them in person. Please do not misinterpret our not asking to see your genitals as a sign of a deep but unexpressed yearning to do so. In fact, just to reiterate, we’re actually really, really against the idea.” The statement concluded by saying that anyone unsure about women’s feelings in the future could refer back to it as many times as needed, as it should be considered the final word on the subject.

[MFM008]

1. Samantha Bee

covered this one............ look for it.

[L. Coyote]

2. World renowned expert on not sexually harassing her employees .....

Link to tweet

[tblue37]

4. Very funny. nt

[MFM008]

11. thanks for posting

[Skittles]

3. and there is NO ENVY either

as one female comic put it, why would us gals be jealous of something that looks like dead chicken's neck and can be out-performed by a couple of AA batteries?

[BigmanPigman]

5. That gave me a much needed smile today. Thanks!

[Willie Pep]

6. I think Elaine from Seinfeld once called the male body "simian" or "ape-like" or something.

It was when Jerry's girlfriend was always walking around naked and when Jerry did the same she was shocked and disgusted. There is another Elaine quote where she says "how do you guys walk around with stuff?" referencing male genitalia.

As a guy I always that was funny. There is even a scene where you see that Jerry's girlfriend can't look at him anymore because she pictures him naked and scratching himself like a monkey!

[whathehell]

7. LOL

She's bad.

[whathehell]

8. Oh, I know..

"turkey neck and turkey gizzards" is how author Sylvia Plath put it.

[Heartstrings]

12. Yes, definitely this.....

[Silent3]

13. Hiking

That's one good reason for penis envy. It's a whole lot easier to take a whiz in the woods with a penis.

[Skittles]

15. sorry, no go

not worth carrying that junk around

the only thing women would ENVY about it is the ability to GET PAID MORE MONEY

[milestogo]

17. You can buy a purple "penis" on Amazon to whiz outside:

https://www.amazon.com/GoGirl-Female-Urination-Device-Lavender/dp/B003BEDUS6/

[Kaleva]

19. It's also a good beer bong.

I can see situations where the device could serve both purposes at a party at some secluded campsite.

[moriah]

18. They have female-to-male converters for woods peeing.

We again are pretty set thanks to technology.

This isn't meant to give offense to people who, with consent, please themselves and their partner mutually without tech assistance, FYI.

[Beacool]

16. Well said!!!

LOL!!!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

9. I remember the first time I came across the notion of

"penis envy". I thought it was a truly stupid idea. Men might possibly have penis envy, but trust me, women do NOT associate male privilege with their penises.

[Wounded Bear]

14. It's an old Freudian concept...

and Freud, of course, operated in a very Victorian Era environment in Vienna, Austria of the late 1800's.

[betsuni]

10. I don't understand why anyone wants to look at any genitals at all. It's plumbing equipment.