Fuck, I Totally Forgot To Fight For Women’s Rights And Promote Sustainability

http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/fuck-i-totally-forgot-fight-womens-rights-and-prom-57221

"Talk about an “oops” moment! The other day, after a White House staff meeting, I was walking past the Blue Room when I had this vague sense that I’d spaced out on something major. As much as I racked my brain, though, I just couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. It was only later in the afternoon when I was working at my desk that it finally hit me out of the blue—I totally fucking forgot to fight for women’s rights and promote sustainability!

I knew there was something I’d been meaning to do. Dammit!

Have you ever had that happen? You know, that feeling that you’ve left an important item off your to-do list but can’t figure out what it was, only for it to unexpectedly pop right back into your head later on? Well, guilty as charged! I was supposed to be a champion of working mothers and of slowing climate change, and it all completely slipped my mind. I mean, completely.

Not to make excuses, but it’s been a bit of a hectic year. Between traveling, having to look after the kids, and then this whole mess in July with the contractor who was remodeling my kitchen, it’s like I’m being pulled in a million different directions. Of course you want to fight for female entrepreneurs, fair access to contraception, and closing the gender pay gap, but then you’ve got a new handbag line coming out and those things just fall by the wayside. But that’s life, I guess. There are only so many hours in the day, and sometimes transitioning to more sustainable fuel sources or making sure the country stays in the Paris Agreement gets lost in the shuffle.

Oh, which reminds me! Back in 2016, I definitely mentioned that I was going to be a strong advocate for guaranteed maternity leave, but I totally forgot that too. Classic “me” move, always planning to steer my father away from policies that deliberately hold women back and then just blanking on it.

I can be such a scatterbrain sometimes!

Geez, now that I think about it, I also completely dropped the ball on strengthening Americans’ right to clean air and water, campaigning for affordable daycare and universal pre-K, speaking out against the Muslim ban, moderating the administration’s tone on immigration, and helping Melania out with her cyberbullying crusade. Where the heck is my brain? Hello, Earth to Ivanka!

You know how it is, though. You’re skiing in Aspen or appearing on Fox and Friends, and suddenly things like supporting humanitarian aid to Syria or protecting transsexual soldiers from discrimination just kind of slide to the backburner. You always think you’ll circle back at some point, but then suddenly it’s been six months and you realize you never confronted your father about how his actions are emboldening a growing community of white supremacists. Ugh, I still can’t believe I let that one slip my mind!

Oh well. I’ll just jot down a note to take care of all these things next term. Or the term after that."

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