I have changed for the worse since Trump was elected...

[mreilly]

... and I only blame myself for it. I refuse to blame Trump since that's his game; pointing the finger elsewhere. This is on me.

In the past 11 months I've become more hostile, suspicious, paranoid and prone to anger.

I've yelled at strangers I thought were following me vis a vis road rage incidents whereas it was a complete misunderstanding.

I've gotten in squabbles with family members, even a beloved aunt who I felt was exonerating Trump for sexual assault by talking about Weinstein then realized I went off on her when she had no intention to do so and didn't even vote for Trump.

I've glared at people with Trump bumper stickers (yes, even in Massachusetts we have them) hoping for a reaction.

I've fantasized about beating pro-Trump online trolls with a 2x4.

I've taken to drinking more and watching sports constantly, figuring at the age of 46 if we end up in a nuclear war now's the time to carpe diem, so to speak, and try to enjoy what's left of life.

I go to bed too late, get up too late, and am probably pissing my wife off by neglecting my AM duties.

I scan DU obsessively each day, praying (even as an agnostic) for the first signs of you guys crowing: "We WON! He's OUT!" and just warming myself by the spiritual fire of like-minded people.

My job performance has suffered and only careful rearrangement of appearances and cultivating personal friendships with my boss and higher-ups has helped me retain my image as a go-to workaholic IT guy (I'm a systems admin). If I started a new job right now with the need to "prove" myself I'd be gone.

I am a gun owner. I've stocked up on ammunition and harbored thoughts of: "If there's a civil war, so be it. I won't ever attack anyone else, but I will defend myself and my family if we're attacked by anyone in my town who knows I voted for Hillary."

Meanwhile I have 3 kids I should be awake, alert, calm and prepared to fight for, using words, logic, reason and ideas to reach not Trump voters but the undecided; the independents, the apathetic and - best of all - the kids growing up who couldn't vote in 2016 but will be able to do so in 2020.

My son is one of them, and he is coming (to the voting booth). And from what I've seen, the kids are on our side.

I've made a vow to take it easy on the booze, to not engage with people about politics unless I can do so constructively - meaning instead of saying: "Hey, don't be a dummy and vote for a pussy grabbing piece of shit or you're a complete fuckhead!" I will substitute: "I have vast concerns about the President's credibility and integrity given his admissions about bad behavior and his apparent lack of knowledge about key issues."

I have a Twitter account I was bashing Trump through, then I thought: "Why not take a break?" so I publicly stated I was taking a hiatus from Trump for the next 100 Tweets, and intend to post more positive and constructive things.

In short, I refuse to let Trump kill me through the negativity and bad behavior I've made it my mistake to engage in.

I will live calmly, maturely, and reasonably as such so I can enjoy the day - and it will come one way or another - when he is gone from the White House forever.

[Irish_Dem]

1. How do we fight back without sinking to his level? nt

[mreilly]

2. We have to work on the undecideds

... Trump and supporters are intellectually lazy; they just crab about "fake news." We have to be educated, know the details, learn the facts and show the undecideds why tax cuts for the rich never work; why building a wall is wasteful and pointless; why targeting immigrants is racist and unfair.

Their angle is an appeal to emotion and base viewpoints. Ours has to be using logic and reason and explaining why history has proven conservative views consistently wrong.

[Irish_Dem]

3. Yes and we have to secure the voting systems. And counteract the propaganda.

[Initech]

4. I don't know, I feel like we have to at this point.

We can't reason with his supporters, and anything we try, they'll say we're not trying hard enough. So I think we do need to stoop to their level.

[Irish_Dem]

5. I don't disagree. The civil war in the US is very real.

And we have to fight back.

[mreilly]

6. I'm not saying not fight back...

... but we need to focus on the enemy and not engage in friendly fire or at least mistaken assessments.

I personally feel we can ignore all Trump supporters and focus on the middle of the road and win elections without having to bother with "reaching out" to or "converting" them.

But when I fight back I plan to go high and not engage in their destructive behavior.

[Irish_Dem]

8. I agree, and we need a brand new strategy. Now that the Russians

and GOP are blatantly throwing elections, time to face reality.

[BigmanPigman]

7. My entire family is furious much of the time.

Last edited Sun Oct 22, 2017, 07:29 PM - Edit history (1)

I have never said FUCK so much in front of my family as I have since Nov. 8th. We have always been a liberal family that discusses politics at family dinners. But it has been very different lately. My sister who is usually the calm one ( I am the emotional one) was almost in tears telling me how much she despises the fucking moron. She just came back to the US after 2 1/2 weeks in France and didn't want to get off of the plane. The idiot in chief is harmful to everyone's health and is responsible for mass depression/anxiety.

[mreilly]

14. Same here....

my friend Sunil moved to Amsterdam and I joked to him (except not really joking): "You guys got room for me and my family of 5? We can wash dishes! Take us with you!"

Then I decided we have to stay and try to make a stand.

[DetlefK]

9. The toxicity on DU is already slightly higher than during the late GWB-years.

By my estimate, the same level of toxicity and hatred we see here after less than a year of Trump, we saw after about 6 years of GWB.

[mreilly]

15. I see it too...

.... we are all way too angry. I never thought I'd end up serving in a DU jury to decide if someone has been inappropriate, but I have, several dozen times. And I try to be as fair and impartial as I can, but there's a lot of it even here.

Which should be a sanctuary for like-minded people.

[mountain grammy]

23. No, it's not all that bad here

for the first time ever I blocked 2 DU members and the toxic OP's practically disappeared.. Just 2 posters, that's all it took. It's not that I want everyone preaching to the choir, but some posters just want to stir shit up among us. I tried to just ignore their posts, but they poke, poke, poke. Enough. Just two, that's all.

I feel like what's happening is miserable enough for us liberals. I come here for intelligent discussion and education, not to be incessantly bashed.

[kpete]

10. me too

[kimbutgar]

11. I feel your pain

Friday I was angry over the attacks on the congresswomen and widow of La David Johnson. It was the first time I got so mad instead of being disgusted. Everyday I wake wondering if we are in a nuclear war. I worry about my 25 year old son with autism and worry will we go the way of Germany and the final solution because of Twitler and his administration. I go between fear and anxiety and getting mad the other day kind of threw me off.

We need to hold our spouses tight, kiss our children and cuddle our pets to survive this madman.

[nolabear]

12. These are PTSD symptoms. Its hard not to go back to try to fix it

You’re taking some very hard and very important steps. I’d advocate for finding things that excite and give you hope outside of the current retraumatizing routine.

I think most of us are experiencing this to a degree, on all sides. The ones who are 45’s followers are far from comfortable, happy and secure. I think somewhere a lot of them know they’re riding for a hard fall.

[AJT]

13. I feel that way too. I am angry and depressed. I can't fall asleep

until the wee hours of the morning. I was in IT for 35 years and most of the people I knew in IT are libertarians(white men who have no sympathy or empathy)and always voted republican. I'm glad I retired last July, I'm not sure l could have controlled myself around them.

[mreilly]

16. Same here AJT...

... I have a friend in IT who is a huge Trump supporter. He's actually my partner at work and cheerfully admits to being my work wife. I love him like a brother and have tried so hard to see his perspective, but I know throughout he is just wrong. He thinks Trump is just being picked on, is draining the swamp, all bad news about him is fake news, and nobody can prove he's a racist or a liar. I can't find a single thing he says about Trump to be remotely valid.

And I just think to myself: here's a really cool guy I genuinely love. I enjoy being around him, and he pulls my bacon out of the fire time and time again. We hang out, drink beer and shoot the shit. He knows I hate Trump and still likes me, so who am I to let Trump drive a wedge between us?

We've held the line. It's just sad to me how many relationships have been destroyed over Trump.

[bronxiteforever]

17. It is nice to hear that there are so many of us in the same boat

Or in some form of existential hell! Every morning I awake positive and then the news informs me of the darkness of the present political situation. My mood deteriorates and sadly with good reason.

I can’t stand Trump and his minions. He is a dark ignorant mutation of the country hatched in the toxic slime of racism and greed. He and his beliefs are soul destroying.

The balance I strive to find is fighting against him with positivity and compassion. The better half and I took a trip to the FDR Presidential library in Hyde Park to serve as a balm for our souls. It is important to me to recharge and return with a promise that even in the darkest time, we can fight back as humans and as proud Democrats!

K & R post

[sandensea]

18. Don't let'em do it, mreilly.

Things come and go - and usually faster than we expected them to.

If anyone needs to change, it's them.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

19. You can learn from this experience and become stronger and more confident. . . nt

[Aristus]

20. I drink a lot more, and I've lost all hope for the future of the USA.

OTOH, I try to be nicer to people. I smile a lot more, hold the door for people, and try to be everything Trump is not.

If our country collapses into mutually hostile ideological regions (Long Live The Republic Of Cascadia!), so be it. If the rump-USA wants to drag us back into their squalid shithole, I will volunteer for the Army of Cascadia as a medical provider if they'll have me, or revert to crewing a tank if we have them.

[samnsara]

21. same here.. i used to tolerate ignorance...or at least feel sorry...

...for those 'less socially evolved'....now I just want them to crawl back under their rock. I feel they made the decision to vote for trump and are part of the reason our democracy is in trouble and so are many personal freedoms. They are as much of a traitor as trump is.

[Paladin]

22. Never doubt that you have plenty of company.

Anyone who is NOT profoundly outraged by the toxic depths to which trump has taken this nation is someone who isn't paying sufficient attention to what's going on. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think things could get this bad, this fast.

[Hawaii Hiker]

24. Trump's election made me anxious

When Gorsuch got confirmed to SCOTUS, a seat which was Obama's to fill, I was enraged....

But that's typical GOP mantra - steal elections, steal court seats (not just a Supreme Court seat, but all the Circuit and District Court seats that Obama tried to fill and weren't by that asshole McConnell.....

Every day i look at the NY Times and Washington Post hoping for a big story to break on the Trump/Russian collusion angle...

Trump makes me miss GW Bush....

[mountain grammy]

25. I living the same life..

We did take a three week road trip with little access to the "news." Ah, the beauty of the Oregon coast. I almost started feeling normal again.

Back to reality. My husband tells me I've changed.. he's right. A respectful man, but I'm mad at him. I'm mad at all men. Hell, I'm just mad. Damn, I hate trump and his idiot supporters and his evil family, cabinet, and everyone associated with this horror show of a government.

[Squinch]

26. You're not alone. I am working on making positive changes too.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[Linda Ed]

27. understand your frustration and anger

and can relate and I am a christian. We, ( husband and I) are kind of addicted to the news as we are retired and every day seems like a month with this guy in office. He is a dangerous man and a mad man and we for the life of us can't figure out why no one is doing anything about him. Thinking of all the people in the world that could die as a result of this man child being in the highest office of our country. But just let me say one thing to you mreily. He is only one person. There are a lot of good people in our country that feel the animosity and anger be it a christian or agnostic as yourself. A truly good person will speak truth, act with truth, and stand for Truth. A truly good person is not afraid to think from their heart. Bad people are never bad in their own eyes, while good people are never good enough in their own eyes. This is the world that we live in today. While some people inspire, other's conspire.

As I have grown older, I find that people of every religion think they're the best, but that's not true. There are good and bad people in every religion. You look and see what's in their hearts. That's the only thing that matters, and that's the ONLY detail God cares about.

We are watching a seriously mentally ill sociopath act out on the world stage. It's too bad that there are tens of millions of equally deranged Americans who share his sociopathogy who can't learn the lessons of his delusions. They're his base. If the GOP place power above democracy, then they will lose Congress, WH and never hold it again. If they don't see that, they're imbeciles. Trump is scary, but his few remaining fans are even scarier.

Don't allow yourself to get so outraged as it will eat you up and that does not help you or anyone around you. This too shall pass. Having experienced a so called president like this in our lifetime has never happened. I am very saddened by this and those who pose as Christians who continue to give him applause. He is taking away healthcare, giving tax breaks to the rich and if you look at all his promises he stated he would never do that ...He is a liar.

Governments make laws, but whether they are carried out, and how the police behave, depends on the general temper in the country. If large numbers of people are interested in freedom of speech, there will be freedom of speech, even if the law forbids it


Just remember, it's out of our control but given the time it is ,,we must rally and get to the voting booths and demand in the meantime for paper ballots in our states. Never to allow anyone like this to EVER enter our WH again.

[KentuckyWoman]

28. Some humble advice from an old woman

My aunt (actually my Dad's aunt) told me most things in life I have no control over despite my best efforts. But I do have control of my own emotions and how I react to circumstances. I was lucky enough to take it to heart. You choose to grumble about the rain or you can choose to be happy for the plants and trees.

The time you spend yelling at the wind is lost when it could be spent winning over those who you can win over to the cause.

I encourage you to step away as far as you need to until you regain a perspective about what matters in this life. You have so much passion that can be SOOOO beneficial to you, your family and the world at large, But not if you are angry, tired and overwhelmed. If you self destruct, your passion isn't worth anything.

Hugs.

[MFM008]

29. Dear mreilly

You are not alone.
I'm always angry.
Taking it out on my family.
Can't seem to stop.
They can't raise my med any higher or I'll
Overdose. ..
It's like the movie Life raft.
I get it.

[narnian60]

30. My first and last thought for the day everyday:

Godspeed Robert Mueller.

[Joe941]

31. Don't blame yourself.

This is the tRump effect.

[mreilly]

32. Thanks all

Appreciate all the support and feedback!

[Fluke a Snooker]

33. ALL white supremacists / republicans (redudancy) need to feel extreme, permanent, non-ending pain

There is no level of hate that I wish upon EVERYONE who votes republican. They are not even human and deserve far worse than the end of life. Every time I see a republican on TV my blood boils. These white supremacists need to feel the pain of the suffering of EVERYONE on this planet who suffers with their oppression and destruction to both the planet and humanity.

But, PLEASE turn in your gun to the government, and get some money for it. Do NOT add to the problem that society faces with the community fear of gun ownership, and the multitude of deaths that arise from such fear. Until all guns are confiscated from the public so only federal police and other federal agencies like the IRS and progressively-run executive branches are the only ones who have the guns, then you are contributing, even in a minute way, to the overall problem of the existence of the Republican Party and the destruction of humanity and the planet. Please consider it.