Garrison Keillor: Donald Trump is done

[G_j]

https://www.google.com/amp/www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-manafort-donald-trump-tweets-20171030-story,amp.html

When his old campaign manager was indicted Monday, Mr. Trump called me on the phone, crying like a baby, and begged me to endorse him. I said, "You're already president, Mr. President. You were elected." He said, "I'd still like your endorsement." I have a recording of the phone call. It's so sad. Donald Trump is done. He couldn't get elected dogcatcher in New York, his hometown. I was very very nice about it. Very nice. But New Yorkers love dogs and he does not. There are 14 recorded instances of him kicking small dogs, and I have documentary proof of all but two of them.

Plus many other instances of him running around grabbing women's cats. Knocked on the door, grabbed the cat, walked away. Just to show that a famous rich guy could get away with it. Where is the apology? No, the man couldn't even get a job as a school crossing guard in New York. Look at him leading his grandchildren toward the helicopter — thank God there's a Marine there to keep them from walking into the rotor.


He's very wary of children, afraid they'll pull off the wig. It's from La Bouffant on 8th & 45th, 3rd floor. Horsehair. Palomino filly. I have receipts.

Trump shot a man on Fifth Avenue last year just to see if he could get away with it and he did. His base said, "Well, some people just need to be shot, that's all. As a warning to the others." Why is he so hung up on virility? Because the Army rejected him on account of bone spurs that you get from wearing high heels. Everybody knows that.

..more..

[Madam45for2923]

1. Priceless!

[hlthe2b]

2. Snarf!

Garrrison hasn't lost it.

[JohnnyLib2]

3. Go, go, Garrison!

[trof]

30. Go, go, GOAD.

Keep it up.

[pangaia]

4. A national treasure.

"Only places he can draw a crowd are rural areas where billboards are riddled with bullet holes, shot by men angry because they can't read. "

[madokie]

5. I simply love

Garrison Keillor

[mountain grammy]

6. I love Garrison Keillor!

Thanks for posting. He always makes me feel better.

[Roland99]

7. Bang! Zoom!

[NastyRiffraff]

8. He's going stronger than ever!

I've always loved him, since listening to him on NPR.

[Danascot]

9. You do realize

if somebody on the right were clever enough to write a similar piece disparaging Hillary, the mob would be taking it all as gospel.

[Hekate]

21. You do realize this has already happened, don't you. Every day for 25+ years.

Please, no false equivalencies here.

[ananda]

10. Wonderful dark humor!

Love it!

[longship]

11. Brilliant! Ridicule is our most powerful weapon.

Thanks, Garrison!

[Shrike47]

12. Love Keillor's writing style.

[malaise]

13. Beautiful

Delish!

[Cuthbert Allgood]

14. I've always thought Keillor tries too hard

Last edited Tue Oct 31, 2017, 05:58 PM - Edit history (1)

and isn't nearly as clever as he thinks he is.

He's the "I'm a sophomore English major and I'm SOOOOO cool" favorite. Then you get exposed to much better satirists and you realize he's better than a lot but by no means near the best.

I realize my opinion does not reflect reality for all.

[mac56]

17. Is this the literary equivalent of "Your favorite band sucks?"

[Cuthbert Allgood]

22. So are you going to reply to everyone that like him with

"Is this the literary equivalent of 'My favorite band is the best EVER'?"

Lots of people were gushing about him. I don't like him. I clearly indicated this was just my opinion and wasn't trying to make it a "I know better" deal.

[Wednesdays]

24. I like him

However, my criticism of the article is that he switched back and forth between hyperbole and reality, and it was hard for me to follow at times.

[whathehell]

33. No, probably not..

because nothing can compete with a turd in a punch bowl.

[Cuthbert Allgood]

35. Wrong person. Sorry.

I didn't know this was a "I love Keillor" thread.

[whathehell]

36. Really?

Whatever you say.

[cwydro]

39. Check the recs.

That’s usually a good indicator...

[Cuthbert Allgood]

40. Guess I committed the mortal sin

of saying I didn't like an author. If that offends people...whatever.

Let me try again: YAY KEILLOR! What an American genius!

[cwydro]

41. Nothing wrong with disagreeing,

but yes, sometimes one catches heat for it here.

I like him, but my best friend doesn’t - has never caused us a problem though lol.

[femmedem]

50. So sorry people are pouncing on you for having a different opinion.

I grew up listening to Prairie Home Companion so I'm biased towards Keillor, although I think his writing is a little flatter on the page. But either way, this is a discussion board and we should be able to discuss without getting flamed.

[Cuthbert Allgood]

54. An ellipsis has three periods

since you jumped on the "errors mean the message is pointless" bandwagon.

[whathehell]

55. Hahaha

You're funny.

[whathehell]

31. It certainly sounds like it..

[FakeNoose]

19. I think his appeal is more for the Baby Boomers

... also being from the Midwest helps. Not the sophomore English majors though.

Garrison Keillor appeals to those of us who went to college in the 60's and 70's, and we all decided that Kurt Vonnegut was our favorite author. If you get Vonnegut, then you probably get Kiellor too.

[Cuthbert Allgood]

23. I'm damn near a Boomer (early 50s)

and grew up in ND. I can appreciate why people like him; he just never landed for me.

And I LOVE Vonnegut. One of my favorite authors. And I would put him leagues above Keillor for satire.

[Cuthbert Allgood]

34. Learn to capitalize the first letter of a sentence and I might listen to you.

But, yes, I had the wrong to in my haste. Thanks for pointing that out.

If I said I liked him would I be qualified to judge him?

[whathehell]

37. Lol!

[Bradical79]

51. I think this approach fits the current climate well

I appreciate really good seamless and subtle saitire, but under the Trump presidency it's almost too close to the real thing. I've nearly been fooled a few times. Being a bit over the top and try hard is almost neccesary to not contribute to the fake news innundating the web, lol.

[Cuthbert Allgood]

53. I can appreciate that

I guess I'm more a fan of Borowitz at this point, but for the same reasons. He is over the top and just constantly on point.

I clearly just don't like Keillor's style and that impacts my consumption of him--much like Dickens. The style makes it hard for me to get to the message.

[Nitram]

15. LOL!

[Frustratedlady]

16. I was devastated when Garrison quit his show, but I think he is even better...

in retirement. He isn't held down by restrictions on what he can say.

It is obvious he has no love for Trump. That makes him even more special.

[FakeNoose]

18. The guy's still got it

They should book Kiellor on the "60 Minutes" show to do an Andy Rooney-type humor segment.
He'd be great!

[unblock]

20. like all of his commentaries, this one is above average!

[treestar]

25. lol

[louis-t]

26. Hawwwwww!!

[Miles Archer]

27. Other than the bone spurs line, my favorite was...

...He quit holding rallies in stadiums because nobody wants to go hear a loser brag about his manliness for an hour, you can hear that in any barroom. Only places he can draw a crowd are rural areas where billboards are riddled with bullet holes, shot by men angry because they can't read. He is so over.

[ailsagirl]

28. Even Dick Nixon had the smarts to resign

THIS clod is too stupid. He'll hang in there as long as he possibly can.

[sakabatou]

32. Anybody else read this in his voice?

[lunasun]

52. Yes! I did . I miss him on the radio !

[cwydro]

38. Excellent!

Thanks for posting!

[Blue Owl]

42. Stick a fork in him

n/t

[Initech]

43. And he would have got away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling liberals

[JHan]

44. brutal

[sandensea]

45. Stick a fork in him.

And pass the powder-milk biscuits!

[Fiendish Thingy]

46. Not Garrison's best work

Really seems like it was intended for an audience of one.

[dchill]

47. O. M. G.

[Ukapau]

48. Garrison Keillor asked us: If you were on an oxygen line in a hospital, would you want

the fingers on the oxygen line to be Democratic or Republican?

Nuff said. Generally -- who loves you?

[calimary]

49. Absolutely glorious!

What a treat! I’m gonna go read it again!