The "G" word
The word is GRIEVANCE..
Somehow, as a society, we have forgotten how to teach (mostly) boys and young men how to deal with grievance.
Grievance starts very young.
It can start when a toddler boy is expected to share toys with others..Some easily learn that task...others harbor grievances about having to share their toys, snacks, Mom's attention with others.
It carries on during adolescence when girls may spurn their advances and offers of affection. (Not every girl will like you or want to be your girlfriend)
High school can exacerbate the feelings of grievance when some boys do not excel at a favorite sport, or are cut from a team. The "girlfriend thing" only gets worse in high school for many boys.
Thankfully, MOST boys manage to navigate the collected hurt feelings and petty grievances that we ALL deal with, and somehow figure out that their youth is but a blip on the radar of life, and delayed gratification is well worth the angst..
BUT there are too many who just keep on collecting the grievances, and instead, arm themselves with the tools of revenge..
Revenge can be many things..
It can be nasty rumors to hurt reputations of people they feel "deserve" punishment..
It can be stalking that girl who turned them down..It can be harassing phone calls, or it can be assault/rape.
Some turn their anger inward and stew and stew for years until they finally get their chance for perfect revenge.. If they have access to weapons. Is it any real surprise when some carry out a mass shooting?
A lost job?? Why not punish the people who fired you?
Girlfriend/wife dumps you? She deserves to be punished
The same words are used in every case.."thoughts & prayers".."now is not the time"...or if the name of the perpetrator sounds "different" or foreign ...TERRORIST...
The underlying basis is still grievance..
If mental health is truly the issue, why are we not addressing it?
To address it costs MONEY.. Our government is loathe to spend money on people it perceives to be weak and/or unworthy.
Plenty of money is spent on investigations/overtime/funerals..after the fact, but very little is spent BEFORE because prevention is hard to prove..
Our society seems to prefer magical solutions of the Dionne Warwick variety.. Wishing & hoping...
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