EXCLUSIVE: Parents of underage victim in Kate Hunt's case defend actions
Source: CBS 12 News
SEBASTIAN, Fla. -- A local teen's family says she is being unfairly prosecuted for a same-sex relationship. But now a new twist in the case that has gripped the nation.
The parents of the underage victim speak out for the first time only to CBS12, and drop a bombshell that will likely turn this investigation on its head.
"Stop the hate, free Kate," is the Hunt Family's message. The message directed right at Jim and Laurie Smith, the parents of the former girlfriend, who spoke exclusively to CBS12 to defend their actions, their daughter, and their rights as parents.
"We are not the type of people to go in front of the media," said Laurie Smith.
Read more: http://cbs12.com/news/top-stories/stories/vid_7597.shtml
Finally, we can get the other side of the story.
alcibiades_mystery
(36,437 posts)Oy vey.
Drale
(7,932 posts)Its still wrong, they were both in High School and no one would blink an eye if the younger girl was 18 and the older girl was 23. Did the parents even try and get to know this young women, or did they just jump on the band wagon that if an 18 year old is dating a 14 or 15 year old they can only want one thing? There is a 10 year gap between my aunt and uncle but no one looks at that as wrong because they met latter in life. Did they have any evidence their daughter was in danger or are they being reactionists? Why would you secretly tape your daughters conversations, if you just wanted this girl to leave you daughter alone, why not just try and get a restraining order? Instead they secretly tape their daughters conversations and have Kate arrested and charged as a sexual predictor ruining her entire life. They complain their daughter was acting out, your damn right she was acting out, the worst thing a parent can do is tell a kid who she can or can't date especially without a truly good reason that they talk to her about. This whole thing stinks to high heaven of either helicopter parents or homophobic parents who are lieing.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)This is not "helicopter parenting." I don't think most parents would be happy if their 14 year old was having a relationship with an adult.
Drale
(7,932 posts)having been a 18 year old not that long ago, I can tell you especially when your still in high school, you DO NOT have an adult mindset. If they did not try and get to know Kate, who she was and what kind of person she was, they are either extremely controlling, very stupid and taken in by what they are told is "normal" in society or homophobic.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)Which this Kate was. Why doesn't she date someone her own age?
Drale
(7,932 posts)Once you turn 18 you are a legal adult, its doesn't matter if you in high school or not and that's wrong. Did they have evidence that Kate wanted to hurt their daughter in any way? How is an 18 year old having sex with a 14 year old any different from 2 14 year olds doing it, if they love each other? No one would blink an eye if it was a 23 year old and an 18 year old, hell no one seems to blink an eye when its an 18 year old and a 70 year old. Why is 18 being an "adult" what changes in that one day from when you are 17 to 18? Nothing, your mind set hasn't changed. The only thing that's changed is your legal status. If Kate was 20 and in college it might be different but they were both in High School. I never understood 18 being an "adult" I wasn't ready to support myself or live on my own when I was 18, some people might be but the majority aren't. Their daughter should have a say in this, even though she's still under her parents roof, if they can't prove that Kate did anything to hurt this girl or any intention do to so, there should be no case. The parents probably don't realize it yet but they've also alienated their daughter and she'll never trust them again and will probably hate them for the rest of their lives.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)Most or all states have a set of age differential rules. This one far exceeds the limits.
These laws are enforced all the time without issue, this one has just gone viral for a few key points. The core issue is still consent, which is in this case, not present. A 14 year old cannot legally consent to sex with an 18 year old in the US, regardless of gender.
"some people might be but the majority aren't."
Do you have data to support that assertion?
"The parents probably don't realize it yet but they've also alienated their daughter and she'll never trust them again and will probably hate them for the rest of their lives."
One of a range of possible outcomes.
Drale
(7,932 posts)Really, your parents tell you, you can't date someone your going to rebel. Your parents have your girlfriend arrested and charged as a sex criminal your going to hate them for a very long time. I'm guessing I"m much loser in age to this than you, I can still understand how teenagers think because I was one only 5 years ago.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)One possibility is that she may be angry now, but as she gets older, may appreciate the results of the intervention. Hard to extrapolate 'for the rest of her life' from this incident.
I was 14 once as well. I remember it.
Do you have data that shows the majority of 18 year olds are not ready to live on their own?
shawn703
(2,702 posts)And you had knowledge of her activities with the adult and did nothing to stop it, you put yourself in legal jeopardy. You'd risk going to prison to let your underage daughter do what she wants?
IronicNews
(129 posts)That is the difference between parenting and being a 'friend'.
onpatrol98
(1,989 posts)I'm sorry. This is crazy. You wake up and enter your 14 year old's room and find them missing. Can you imagine your personal state of mind? I would be absolutely furious if my 18 year old took someone's 14 year old off without the permission of their parents.
marshall
(6,661 posts)What if the younger girl was 13? What if she was 12? Whatever if Kate was 17 and the other girl was 10? Does the Woody Allen defense have any limits?
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)Two outcasts -- gay, smart, interested in sports and education -- found each other. If the parents had let things go/looked the other way, odds are good the relationship would have ended in time with hopefully fond memories on both ends. No unwanted pregnancy, no STD exposure, and maybe a lifelong friendship after the "young love" stage ended (probably with the elder going off to college).
By participating in the teenage drama, the parents turned this into an Adult Drama. Their daughter became "disrespectful" and ran away to escape them. She returned, but is angry because her True Love is being persecuted. She now holds her parents in contempt, while they would prefer to believe she is a victim of sexual abuse/has been turned gay.
Idiots.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)The law around consent in most states will usually allow up to a two year age gap in some circumstances. The victim here is FOUR years under the limit.
Are the parents homophobic? I have no idea if that allegation is true, and it doesn't matter if it is. Any parent with any child in any state, that is fourteen years old, is within their legal bounds to report a sexual relationship with an 18 year old to the police, and expect prosecution.
Gender or gender identity is uninteresting in this case.
GermanSmoker
(91 posts)Live in a country where the age of consent is 14, stuff like this is the norm. I did one or the other 14 year old when i was 18.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)It's a little late to have a discussion of moving the age of consent around in the US, AFTER a crime has been committed.
tabasco
(22,974 posts)that is quite an appropriate time to discuss "moving the age of consent around."
Drale
(7,932 posts)I wouldn't have a problem with it. But no matter who my daughter was dating I would make it a condition that me and my wife get to know him and his family before I could trust him.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)Drale
(7,932 posts)are justice system needs to take cases on a case by case basis. To many young people have their lives ruined because they are legal adults under the law but they are still thinking like teenagers, yet true dangerous pedophiles like Rush are out their running around hurting children everyday.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)It's kind of a founding principle of our nation.
There are appropriate venues to study the efficacy of the law, the science behind whether it is helpful or not, etc. Once the police have identified someone breaking the law, is not really that venue. If the application of the law is truly egregious, a jury will probably nullify it.
Without laws like this, it is practically impossible to catch 'true' pedophiles, if I understand your meaning correctly.
treestar
(82,383 posts)as a law, make it a prima facie case. Then the accused has the chance to show otherwise.
In some states, the age differential is 4 years, so in those states, this would be legal.
18 year old still being in high school should be a factor too.
Alameda
(1,895 posts)treestar
(82,383 posts)the big concern being pregnancy - the rules should be equal, but if they are going to be easier on straight or gay it should be gay it is easier on.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)I believe this one should be considered by a jury, and that she has a good chance at not going to jail for it.
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)Finally someone who agrees with me.
Comrade Grumpy
(13,184 posts)This looks like one of those times.
primavera
(5,191 posts)Especially when so much of it is written by conservative, old, white, homophobic men.
primavera
(5,191 posts)I appreciate that statutory rape laws have some role to play in accomplishing the valid public policy goal of combatting pedophilia and protecting the weak from sexual predation by those stronger than them. But people develop at different rates. When I was 14, I was a freshman in college living on campus in the dorms. By the time I reached 16, I had a job and was living with a woman who was six years my senior, but I was nevertheless still the stronger party in the relationship. A lifelong friend of mine's story is even more pronounced: she ran away from an abusive home when she was 12 and fled to an entirely different part of the country. By the time she was 16, she was manager of a local restaurant and halfway through her undergraduate degree. In different parts of the world and/or in different periods in time, people in their teen years may already be married, may be heads of households, bear tremendous responsibilities. The notion that a teenager is, by definition, a fragile child is a relatively modern one and one that, imho, doesn't withstand empirical analysis.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Rather than the rule. Most 14 year olds aren't in college of 16 when they are head of their household.
It can also be argued that these laws provide protection to the parents. If a 14 year old girl gets pregnant, who will be financially responsible for the child?
primavera
(5,191 posts)And I don't offer my own experience as representative, only as one of many examples of situations in which age doesn't necessarily equate with level of power or influence in a relationship. To pick a more mainstream hypothetical, imagine a 16 year old who is particularly intelligent, precocious, assertive, and confident - no doubt there are many teenagers who might fit that description. That person seduces someone who is two years older, but is shyer, less self-confident, more vulnerable, a description that would also no doubt fit a great many teenagers. In such a scenario, the older person seduced by the younger person would nonetheless still technically guilty of statutory rape, even though it was the "victim" who manipulated the older person into the deed.
As for the question of who pays for child support for underage parents, that seems a different matter to me. Two 17 year olds, both of whom are equally beneath the legal age of consent, can - and do - have sex and have children just as easily as a 16 year old and an 18 year old. Who pays child support when the two 17 year olds have a child? I would suppose that the same approach should be applied to any situation involving an underage parent. But that's different than criminalizing sexual behavior that occurs naturally in young people whose difference in ages may be only slight and may not be reflective of their respective levels of maturity.
Mind you, I am not suggesting that I am comfortable with 40 year olds seducing minors. No adolescent can be considered the equal of a 40 year old, so there can be no equitable basis for mutual consent. But a 16 year old and an 18 year old? They could easily be equals in terms of their emotional, psychological, and intellectual development and thus share equal responsibility for a decision that is genuinely mutual. Criminalizing that sort of perhaps foolhardy, but nonetheless natural and normal, youthful sexual experimentation seems patently absurd to me.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)And let's not forget we're talking about a relationship between an 18 and a 14 year old, not an 18 and a 16 year old. The 14 year old is still not an adult, still not close to being an adult (though they often believe otherwise), and to many parents who want the best outcomes for their kids, still not mature enough to make decisions that could possibly affect their lives forever. Parents can only do so much to give their kids the best future they can, and having a third party come in and encourage and enable them to make these decisions anyway - after being told twice not to do it anymore, mind you - they should have some avenue for recourse.
no need for you to tell your age, its obvious. Being that you are so young, you dont understand how parents, especially parents of high school age kids think. 14 is a baby. Its a year out of middle school. Its the beginning of puberty, hormones, zits, and being very susceptible to pressure. 18 while I agree is not an "adult", is a hell of a lot more sexually and mentally advanced. All of your arguments about a 25 and 21 year old, or a 21 and 17 year old, or even 2, 14 year olds, are completely different. Would you want your 12 year old hooking up with a 16 year old? With your arguments, you are saying its ok. How about a 14 year old and a 10 year old, whats the difference? 14 is a baby, 18 is not, simple. As far as the rest of the facts about the case, you do not know them so stop thinking you have any clue as to what is going on in their lives. I wouldn't let my 14 year old daughter date an 18 year old boy or girl. Maaaaybe if I knew this person and felt an exception to the rule was due, it could happen. But, in this case, when the older girl is driving to the younger girls house, picking her up while she sneaks out of her house. Stays out all night to the point that a missing persons report is filed. Obviously there is no respect there, and there is a lot more to the story then you understand.
hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)magical thyme
(14,881 posts)What is "normal" in any society is to protect your child or your younger sibling.
And I can say with certainty that when I was 14 and she was 17, her friends did not consider me a peer. I was treated like the kid sister by both her female and male friends. Not one would have considered dating me.
Furthermore, at age 14-15 I was a member of the Delaware County Peace Action group, where I was enlisted as a draft advisor. I met and hung around young men right about 18 years old to be trained how to advise draft avoidance. Again, I was treated as a kid sister by every single one of them.
I also used to hang out at a friend's house after school, who's mother was a social worker in the nearby city. She always had young men from the city hanging around. Again, I was treated like their kid sister. We hung out, they did introduce me to pot, but other than that I was protected, not treated like a potential date ever, by any of them.
18 year olds don't normally seek out 14 year olds for dating relationships. At that age, a normal relationship is big sis-bro / little sis-bro.
Ime, when there is a large gap in ages (and at that age range, 4 years is a significant gap) the older party is generally seeking somebody they can easily manipulate and control. That Kate ignored her punishment, defied the victim's parents wishes and persisted in the sexual relationship kind of suggests that.
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)They want the government to intercede where they cant.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)That is something stated by the older girl's parents, just like the only reason they're pressing charges is because they're "religious zealots that don't like gays". In fact, the arrest affidavit states that the relationship started in November, resulted in sexual encounters in December and January, with the arrest in February. The accused turned 18 in August. Not quite the "waiting until the day she turned 18" story that's been peddled in social media.
Yo_Mama
(8,303 posts)Which is at least one indication that it might be wise to listen to the other side.
Also, the age of legal consent in Florida is 16, not 14. I don't think the age of consent should be changed. I do believe that there are some 14 and 15 year olds who are mature enough to consent, but there are also many who aren't.
However, there should be consideration to waive the "sex offender" bit. This may have been an illegal relationship, but it does not qualify the older party as a sex offender, and I think we all know that.
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)But I suggest that we keep perspective. The older girl should not be classified as a sex offender and have the rest of her life ruined.
dlwickham
(3,316 posts)and not a lesbian relationship
shawn703
(2,702 posts)regardless of whether it was a homosexual or heterosexual relationship? A heterosexual relationship adds pregnancy risk on top of it, so that could be even worse in their eyes.
dlwickham
(3,316 posts)but finding out your daughter is a lesbian still ranks lower than finding out she's pregnant in a lot of places
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Which is why the accusation that the girl's parents only pressed charges in this case because the offender is female is ridiculous.
BuelahWitch
(9,083 posts)I read it as meaning that in most places, parents would rather have a pregnant daughter than a lesbian daughter. Of course, if they're Fundies they wouldn't be happy, but it wouldn't be as disgraceful to them.
And yes, I'm in the camp that thinks these parents are bigots.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Thanks for the clarification by the way. I still don't know if I agree with that. Fundies like to hide their shame, and it's easier to hide your daughter being gay and hope you can pray it away than it is to hide the fact she's pregnant.
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)It certainly wasn't the daughter that told them. I just want to see if that matches what I've heard.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)What I remember reading is that school faculty notified them. Don't know if that's true or not.
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)But it was the the parent of another student (not the two involved) that went to the younger girl's parents. I guess we'll have to wait to know conclusively when the trial starts.
Yo_Mama
(8,303 posts)Because it's so ordinary. Usually older guy/younger girl.
dlwickham
(3,316 posts)with my parents' approval
I had another sister who also dated an older guy when she was in high school. I think she was right about 15 and he was probably 18.
Yo_Mama
(8,303 posts)It's the sex that makes the senior/freshman/junior high thing out of line.
I still claim that sometimes it's not abusive, depending on maturity levels of those involved.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)It doesn't make it legal behavior.
justagurlinseattle
(4 posts)I have a daughter who is 15.... when she was 14 I let her date a BOY who was 18..... I made sure to TEACH my daughter to wait to have sex until she is ready...... That law treats 12 year olds the same as 15 year olds... and that is simply OUT there..... There is a HUGE difference between 12 and 14.... and actually NOT much difference between 14 and 17 years old..... Fact is.... It is the job of the PARENTS to teach their daughters to wait to have sex until they are ready.... that is NO MATTER who they are dating...... Kids are GOING to have sex.... That is just a fact.... and telling them NOT to is NOT going to do a thing to help them..... Now if this girl had sex at 14 years old..... then she felt as though she was READY.....
as a parent... I am not sure I would like my daughter having sex at 14.....
But, then again... I would like her to wait until she is 30 years old..... That is JUST NOT realistic tho....
We have to, as Parents, prepare or children for the real world.... and that included how to say no to sex until they are ready....
and if they DO FEEL they are ready, then it is UP TO PARENTS to love care for and support their child in these
decisions..... telling your child NOT to have sex at 14 years old will ONLY result in them rebelling against you and
them not being HONEST with you.......
The Parents claim that they woke one day and she was gone..... and that she was with Kate.....
OK..... So, it seems in the arrest affidavit that the 14 year old RAN AWAY......
WHY did she run away?????
Kids don't just run away because it is FUN.... There must have been a reason......
Kids from well adjusted healthy homes with OPEN COMMUNICATION DO NOT RUN AWAY......
That is just a FACT.......
Did the parents tell their 14 year old daughter to stop seeing Kate????
Did they tell their daughter that if she kept seeing Kate, that they would have Kate ARRESTED?????
See, there is a LOT here that does NOT make any sense.....
also... Kate OFFERED to leave the state and go live with her grandmother..... WHY was that NOT good enough for this family?????
and again...... WHY did they not INSTILL better values in their daughter as to NOT have sex until she was ready and mature enough to handle it???????
Subcontracting the STATE to do your parenting is just plain WRONG in my eyes.....
They are PEERS and school mates..... and Freshman and Seniors are treated as PEERS.....
We should NOT be so willing to put 18 year old High School Seniors in PRISON and ruin their lives for dating their PEERS......
WE should NOT be branding them as Sexual Predators for life over a HIGH SCHOOL Romance.....
Having ONE Birthday while you are in HIGH SCHOOL and dating a freshman should NOT make you a criminal.....
and we have to STOP throwing around the word Rape in this kind of situation....
It MINIMIZES hat ACTUAL Rape Victims have gone through.....
justagurlinseattle
(4 posts)They have RELEASED the recording of the phone calls between the 2 girls.....
and within a few second It is OBVIOUS that Kate had broken up with the younger girl and
had stopped dating her, BEFORE she was arrested........
In fact.... before the cops recorded the call..... Kate had broken UP with the
girl.......
Then WHY are the parents saying that this was the ONLY way to get Kate to
stop seeing their daughter??????
This other girls family is LYING ........
Kate said.... she was moving on since they could not longer see one another....
here is the video...... They recorded this conversation AFTER Kate had broken up with their
daughter......
If ALL they wanted was that Kate stop seeing their daughter.... that was already the case.....
They could have STOPPED the cops involvement RIGHT there.......
http://www.cbs12.com/news/top-stories/stories/vid_7566.shtml
here is a better idea of the laws in Florida vs other states.... and how the parents could have DROPPED this.....
http://www.cbs12.com/news/top-stories/stories/vid_7601.shtml
hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)LisaL
(44,962 posts)uppityperson
(115,674 posts)magical thyme
(14,881 posts)The one about "well, if you don't want to see me or can't see me, I'll just move on. I've turned down lots of woman because I wanted to be with you..." quote?
I can't download due to being on dialup. But boy does that quote sound familiar to me. It's the classic line of the manipulative guy that doesn't want to get married and his girlfriend does.
So she starts out by saying things aren't going anywhere, so maybe we should end it. And then the guy says the above line, immediately evoking the combined emotional response of isolation, loneliness, jealousy in his girlfriend who *doesn't* have a line of guys lined up.
So then maybe she decides to call his bluff and break up, in which case he calls me and dates me for a couple weeks until she comes around, he dumps me and they get back together.
Or maybe she decides to try reminiscing to remind him how special she is to him, and goes back to their first time together (which from what I've read is how this conversation was directed). And he plays along and gives her an easy way out of the ultimatum she almost stumbled into. And they set up another date.
With most of the call redacted, we don't know where it went other than them discussing their first and last sexual encounters. It seems entirely possible (likely to these jaded, backup date eyes) that the last scenario is the case. In which case, Kate is going to be seen as a worst case older partner maintaining power over younger, more naive partner via manipulation.
Certainly her parents have been using every manipulation they can think of, including accusing the victim's parents of conspiring with police to trap their daughter. Well, if their daughter had said, "You know, your parents are right. It's probably best if we don't see each other any more. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you or get you in trouble with your parents," then the call would have ended right there and the police wouldn't have their evidence.
RayStar
(417 posts)Sounds like the daughter wanted to be with her gf. A restraining order may have worked to keep these two apart rather than this legal affair.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)She is a minor.
Which means she can not legally consent to sexual activity.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)By the time this rolls around she will be 16, and the tales she will about her family's foolishness will make them bitterly regret their behavior.
"Were you sexually molested?" "NO!" "Did you engage in consensual sexual activity?" "Yes, we experimented a little. I considered her my girlfriend, and I talked to her about how my parents said I was going to burn in hell forever because we loved each other."
Seriously, good luck getting a conviction. And good luck on keeping a positive relationship with your daughter when you turned the beginnings of her sex life into a national media circus.
There is "the law" and then there is the Christmas Dinner your daughter won't attend as soon as she can get away from you. They picked the losing side of this.
Idiots.
Daniel537
(1,560 posts)That right there is all the prosecution needs to convict. Statutory rape is all they have to prove, nothing about molestation.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)Daniel537
(1,560 posts)But i have a feeling it won't get to that point. She'll probably accept a different plea at some point.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)LisaL
(44,962 posts)So, I believe getting a conviction should be very easy.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)The state will prosecute, even if the victim refuses to testify or refuses to press charges.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)The same school had a similar case, including ages and same sex issues (which I found interesting, but whatever), and nobody was prosecuted for a felony. I also guarantee that if someone pulls up the birth certificates of the children born to underage mothers (guarantee statistically a few will be younger than 15) one will discover no Baby Daddy's in jail for screwing around with underage teenage girls.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)That's a point the Defense can use to get the jury to nullify the charges.
madaboutharry
(40,153 posts)That is exactly what these idiots did. They are the ones who are wreaking their daughter's life. She has three more years of high school and everyone in that school read that Affadavit.
rebecca_herman
(617 posts)The affidavit was NOT public initially. It was only AFTER the Hunt parents went to the media with misinformation (saying the younger girl was 15 when she didn't turn 15 until months after the relationship ended, saying Kaitlyn was 17 when they started dating, when Kaitlyn turned 18 before they even met, etc) that the affidavit was released to show they were being dishonest. That affidavit was from three months ago, it was the Hunt parents who tried to try this case in the media with lies and only then was it released.
I would not be okay with a fourteen year old having a relationship with an eighteen year old of any gender, and I would have done the same thing these parents claim they did - tried talking to the 18 year old and got the police involved after she not only ignored them but took the girl to her house to have sex after she sneaked out of her house. We can't predict how the girl will feel as an adult. Maybe she will hate her parents. Or maybe she will look back and see she was too immature and be grateful to her parents. While we can't know for certain who is telling the truth, according to the police the girl was really cooperative - it's possible she regrets it already, who knows. Unless she speaks about it as an adult, we will never know.
madaboutharry
(40,153 posts)would have been better off handling this privately. There daughter is now most likely feeling humiliation beyond all belief.
rebecca_herman
(617 posts)They say they only went to the police after they warned Kaitlyn twice and she not only ignored them but drove the younger girl to her house to have sex after sneaking out of her house. Kaitlyn's parents claim they went straight to the police without a warning, but I don't consider them the most reliable people since they initially lied about the girls' ages. And that lie (about the ages) was the main reason the affidavit was released. Exactly what more were they supposed to do?
ScreamingMeemie
(68,918 posts)not be pressed--I'm pretty positive they're lying.
To say that they don't want to see Kate go to jail when it's in their hands to ask for a misdemeanor charge is plain crazy.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)But if it was an 18 year old with my 14 year old daughter, and she sneaks out of the house to be with him/her after we tell him/her to stay away from her - encouraging her to break the rules we set for her and disrespecting us - he/she will not get any sympathy from me.
ScreamingMeemie
(68,918 posts)Click on "Local Defense Attorney fired up..." video
At 3:30 in the recording (this is a Florida defense attorney).
For me, it would be...
1-Talk to the kids...
2-Talk to the parents...
3-File a restraining order...
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Like even if the victim's family said a misdemeanor charge was okay with them, and the DA felt he/she had enough evidence to convict on a felony, the DA makes the final decision.
As far as how you would handle someone's relationship with your child, that's not how everyone would react. I don't see why any of this is proof that the victim's parents are lying.
ScreamingMeemie
(68,918 posts)You've been asking others what they would do if their child was 14 and with a high school peer. This is a discussion board. I'm discussing.
I'm confident she'll win, and the law will be changed to exclude relationships between high school peers.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)I have a problem with the smearing of the victim's family that's going on. Because they went to the police to put an end to the relationship when it was clear the older girl wasn't going to respect their wishes to stay away from their daughter, allowing the younger girl to sneak out and spend the night with her, that's proof that they're going after her because it was a homosexual relationship? That's about as absurd as me claiming you're calling the victim's parents liars because they're an interracial couple. Neither one is based in any fact and is just an attempt to smear.
Violet_Crumble
(35,954 posts)And it wasn't that long ago that my kidlet was 14. If they'd been seeing an 18 yr old I would:
1. Ask the Love Of My Daughter's Life over and get to know them.
2 (a). If I thought they were a pretty decent kid, I'd sit down with both of them and try to set some ground rules like be honest with me, don't piss off overnight and leave me worrying kidlet's been kidnapped, etc. What I wouldn't do is go all draconian and invite rebellion by playing the You Cannot See My Daughter!! card. Chances are that it'd fizzle out naturally the same way many teen romances die a quick death
2 (b). If there were issues with the subject of my kidlet's affections, I'd play it smart. I'd keep a close eye on things and not let my disapproval show if I could help it. I'd be laying whatever obstacles I could in their way without being obvious about it, and letting kidlet work it out for herself. A parent forbidding their child from seeing whoever they've fallen in love with is a recipe for disaster, and unless there were serious issues like bad drugs or crime with the other kid, then I wouldn't issue restraining orders or involve the police.
3. If the relationship lasts and it's a healthy one, great. If it isn't, everyone moves on without an 18 year old girl being labelled a sexual predator and facing the prospect of prison.
For the record, while the age of consent is the same where I live, I don't have a lot of respect for other similar laws in the US. Here 18 is the age when you can drink, but in the US it's 21. How stupid is that? I've been out drinking with my 19 yr old niece, and in the US I could have been arrested for supplying alcohol to a minor? WTF??
The age of consent is what it is, regardless that some 14 and 15 year olds are emotionally mature enough and others aren't. That's fine, but it's being abused when teens are being prosecuted for it, regardless of whether they're gay or straight. A simple change to the law where teens are exempted would stop this crap where lives are being destroyed because of out of control parents and prosecutors would do a world of good...
shawn703
(2,702 posts)How do you know if this 14 year old was emotionally mature enough to be in this kind of relationship? They made the decision, since the child cannot legally make it herself, that she should not be in a relationship with someone that much older than their daughter. They made their decision known to the older girl, and at that point the older girl should have backed off rather than blatantly disrespect them by allowing the younger girl to sneak out of the house and spend the night with her.
Someone else made a comment in this thread that I wholeheartedly agree with, and that is a discussion of age of consent laws should be part of the curriculum in a sex ed class.
Drale
(7,932 posts)if she's so desperate to see this boy/girl, invite them to hang out at your house. Get to know this person, they might be an amazing person. By outright telling a teen they can't do something, they are more likely to respond by breaking the rules. Mostly likely they will be together for a little while and they will break up, as very very very few high school relationships go any further, especially if the older one goes off the college and meets more people.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)If you as a parent allow your 14 year old daughter to be sexually involved with an adult, you yourself could end up in prison for it. The last thing I would do is condone a relationship of this type.
who's going to turn them in, Kate's parents obviously didn't have a problem with this or her being gay, and if the other girls parents didn't either then nothing would happen.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)The school officials knew about it, what would stop them from reporting it?
Drale
(7,932 posts)why would they report it in my case?
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)Applies to daycare workers and other people that interact with children at work as well. If they don't report it, they get burned.
mac56
(17,561 posts)They're considered mandated reporters.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Why would the school need to turn them in if the parents did what they were supposed to do when they were notified of the relationship? If the school noticed that the parents allowed the abuse to continue, they would be within their rights to notify the authorities, and then the child not only loses her boyfriend/girlfriend, but her parents too.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)In fact, in some states they are required to by law.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)justagurlinseattle
(4 posts)I have to say, at 14 years old, NOBODY could talk me into something that I didn't want to do.....
that INCLUDES sex..... my parents taught me to wait until I was READY...
They did not put an arbitrary age on my being ready either......
I dated a few boys when I was 14 years old, and NOT ONCE did I have sex....
I knew to say no.... I would NOT allow them to pressure me....
and fact is.... ALL of my High School friends who were 14 years and 15 years old were having sex.....
and under Florida law, as it stands.... they are treating 12 year olds the same as 16 year olds....
That makes NO SENSE what so ever.....
there is a HUGE difference between 12 and 14.... and little difference between 14 and 17 years old as far as maturity.....
I know this because I have a daughter who is 15....
Fact is... These laws were NOT put in place to protect High School FRESHMAN from High School Seniors.....
It is time to be realistic in the USA and stop being so willing to brand 18 year olds as Sex Offenders
for life over dating SCHOOL MATES.....
The girl was 2 months away from being 15 years old.... It is not as if she was 13 years old one day and 14 the next....
There is a 3 year 7 month age difference and in MANY states there is a 4 year buffer for the Romeo & Juliette laws....
as well there should be...... as it is INSANE to put 14 -18 year olds in a school together and expect that there will be no cross class dating.......
shawn703
(2,702 posts)To make the right decision. Not all kids reach that level of maturity at the same time and need protection by the law.
laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)I was a mature 14 year old that dated 20 year old guys. At the time 14 was the legal age of consent. At 14 I was every bit as mature as I was at 18. Do you know what would've happened if the legal age was 16 when I was 14 and dating that 20 year old, and my parents decided to go after him? My parents probably would've severed their relationship with me forever. I think blanket laws regarding this are ridiculous. There needs to be exceptions (I do believe attending the same high school should be one of them). My daughter is currently 15. She has several 18 and 19 year old friends (some kids were held back, or are back 'upgrading' before university) she met in the drama club at school. My daughter is also bi and currently dating another girl. If that girl happened to be 18 or 19, I wouldn't be blinking at all. I think the laws are ridiculous and likely cause more harm than the good they are supposed to do.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)And has a Romeo and Juliet exception that the judge can apply to keep her off the sex offender registry if she is found guilty.
laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)when I don't think she should've been charged at all. Being charged with a felony messes someone up for life, and I think making these laws felonies for kids attending the same school is absolute overkill.
Wait Wut
(8,492 posts)...their daughter 'disappeared' overnight. I would've gone absolutely ape shit if an 18 year old had picked up my 14 year old in the middle of the night without my knowledge. Especially after being asked not to have contact.
At 18 you know better. I'm surprised she wasn't charged with kidnapping.
Should this young lady do time? Absolutely not. But, she needs some type of punishment. Community service would suffice. I think she's probably learned her lesson, by now.
Despite my oldishness, I remember being 14. I didn't always make the best decisions. In fact, I made a lot of really stupid ones. Many of them involved people in their late teens and early twenties.
I don't know. Both sides are pointing fingers and I have no idea which is being more truthful. I do know that parents can flip out out of love for their child. I've done it a couple of times.
Drale
(7,932 posts)but by telling the daughter to stay away from someone they love, your only asking for rebellion. If this is truly not about them hating homosexuals, then the way to handle this was to tell them they could see each other but only under supervision, in their own home and as they got to know Kate and trust her they could give more and more freedom. Otherwise your either a control freak over your kid or your a homophobe in which case you are going to alienate your kid and push them away.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)14 year old is a minor. Why doesn't 18 year old date people her own age?
Jennicut
(25,415 posts)Not by law with a 14 year old but mentally, psychologically it is pretty obvious 40 is different then 18. I would say the 18 year old in this case probably didn't know many other gay kids so that is why she didn't "find someone her own age". My own brother was 19 and dated a 14 year old classmate of mine. Her parents actually liked him as he was a calm, responsible guy and the other guys she dated were pretty bad. But I suppose if the parents did not approve, he could have been arrested. It's so subjective but the law is the law. Perhaps a restraining order would have been better. Kate Hunt is hardly a sex offender. Just a naive 18 year old.
BuelahWitch
(9,083 posts)Captain Stern
(2,197 posts)....then I'm with the parents on this one.
They told an adult woman to stay away from their daughter. She refused.
The fact that both girls are in high school is irrelevant.
I wonder how did this minor's parents learn of the fact these two girls were having sex?
I feel so awful for this young adult who may have her life altered forever.
This case reminds me of the young man (18) in a suburb in MI who was caught on school property with his 15 year old gf who had his life turned around when the nun reported him to authorities. Girls used to think it was cool to date an older high school student but now kids have to be very careful.
ScreamingMeemie
(68,918 posts)Kate was kicked off the team.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Is that something you wouldn't expect the school to punish?
ScreamingMeemie
(68,918 posts)I have a problem with how it was handled. I have a problem with felony charges.
FTR, Kate's parents acknowledge that their daughter made a poor decision. Do we throw away the rest of her life for it?
Evergreen Emerald
(13,069 posts)Some schools have law enforcement come to the class and teach students about the laws and prohibitions surrounding relationships and dating.
zeemike
(18,998 posts)And 18 year old having sex with a 14 year old is and should be a crime...no excuses.
14 is to young to sexualize a child.
sexualize a child? wtf?
if you don't think young teenagers are sexual and sexualy active, and you are a parent you better prepare yourself for some shocks.
zeemike
(18,998 posts)And it did me no good.
But it if far from ideal for children to become sexual object when they are still developing emotionally...IMHO.
But if society is changing then so be it....we will have a social experiment and see how it goes...but if history is a guide, not too well is my guess.
laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)Some 14 year olds are child-like. Some aren't. When I was 14, I had D cup boobs and had been menstruating for over 2 years. I was super mature, and very responsible (honors student, had 2 jobs, captain of the volleyball team), and I dated older guys - 18-20 year olds. I hated guys my age, as they were rude, immature and sexually harassed me at school. I couldn't handle hanging around them and attempting to have conversations, and hearing, "Can't you talk normal? the words you use are too big" or "I don't know about that stuff, only nerds know that science stuff" was more than I could bear. I'm so glad I was a teen in the time 14 was the age of consent - because if anyone would've gone after the guys I dated and charged them, it would've messed up my life much more than simply dating them could have. BTW, I don't regret any of the relationships I had with those older guys. I think these kinds of laws need to have much more flexibility. Things like attending the same high school should negate any charges, IMO.
zeemike
(18,998 posts)but 14 is to young to be having sex IMHO....in most cases.
I had sex with a girl for the first time at 13 and she was also 13...and when I was 14 I was seduced my my friend's mother...do you think that might mess you up?...I do and I know from personal experience.
Because of that, and being molested when I was 10 it caused me many problems that never went away.
children having sex is not some no big deal thing...it has serious long term problems both emotionally and physically.
But I know I am outnumbered here and this sexualization of children will continue no matter what I say....so let the social experiment continue.
laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)It's complex. You think the sexualisation of teens is a social experiment and I assert so is the infantilization of teens...at no other time in human history have teens been treated as much like they are small children as they are in this generation.
I'm sorry you were molested - I'd say that was the biggest contributor to your issues. Don't think I believe that 10 is the same as 14. It's not.
zeemike
(18,998 posts)And that may be the problem of why children want to have sex at a much to young age.
But no doubt that my experiences at 10 influenced me to have sex at 13....had I not been sexualized at 10 I may have just been interested in playing baseball at 13....no doubt about it....but that is my point...the sexualization short circuits childhood and interferes with valuable experiences that help the emotional and physical development.
As hard as it is for young people to understand today, in my day in the 50s most kids did not have sex until after high school.
And they were not being infanticide...in fact in many cases were treated more like adults than they are today...
laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)infantilizing to me means how we don't give teens responsibilities they used to have at those ages. For instance, 2 generations ago, teen girls were expected to be 100% responsible for siblings and a good portion of housework, cooking and they were expected to know their lessons, and behave like an adult. Teen boys were expected to contribute to the family income by helping out on the farm, or family business - whether or not the family at that night was on them, as well. Even when I was a teen, every teen I knew was expected to have a part time job, get their license at 16 and either work or go to university at 18.
When my aunts were younger, they went off to boarding school at 16 (well, not 'boarding school' but public school in another town, and they had to board, because there was no high school in their town) and were expected to 'earn their keep' while they boarded. Other than that, they were responsible for their own conduct in public, and their own curfews. And my aunts also held down part time jobs, or odd jobs at the same time.
In my daughter's peer group, she's the only one who has a job (and she JUST got one - about 3 years later than I started working). My daughter is nearly 16. Only 1 of her friends has their license (including her older friends) - everyone's parents chauffeur them everywhere. Hardly any of them have any responsibilities - I've talked with other parents who refuse to have their older teen babysit younger siblings because, "It wasn't their choice to have them." True enough, but it teaches responsibility, and selflessness and empathy. Most parents I've talked to are paying for all of post secondary, while their kids live at home, many are buying their kids cars so they can get to university (we are in a suburb) and no one is expecting their kids to work while they get their education. That was simply unheard of when I was a teen for all but the most spoiled teens (same town too). We all had to buy our own cars, we all worked our asses off in university while having a job. Most of us were expected to have a plan to move out as soon as we graduated.
There is a lot of 'helicopter' parenting too.
I have to go be a chauffeur right now, but even in just 1 generation there is a huge trend towards treating 16 year olds like grade schoolers. That's what I mean by infantilizing. Teens who are treated like children will inevitably act like children when faced with the very adult biology of their own bodies. JMO.
zeemike
(18,998 posts)And I understand what you mean about the infantilization of teens now...you explained it well. and I agree with it being a problem.
And most all of it traceable to fear that has been piled on us by the media and our leaders.
Here it is at the end of May...when I was ten, school would have been out and I would have been gone somewhere in the town or surrounding countryside engaged in some kind of play of some sorts with my friends....my parents would not be able to tell you just where we were but they would not have been concerned in the least...they knew when we were hungry we would come home....
In to days world, parents like that would have had their children taken from them by child protective services...
In many way things are better now for many people...but not in this case....children and their parents are in prison really, and the bars are fear.
But what I mean by signalization of children is to put it bluntly is training them how to masturbate themselves to orgasm...and the common misconception about child molestation is that the children are "hurt"....and of course some are, but most pedophiles don't hurt children but basically train them how to have an orgasm....cause physically they can at a young age...and once they are trained in it the child does not feel like a victim because it feels good and he enjoys it....and the perp is off the hook in his mind because the child enjoyed it.
The minimum age for having sex is not 14 or even 13 but can go much lower than that if you want it to....but it is not normal or productive in the long run.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)Still wrong? Parents motives, whatever they may be, are uninteresting. The law prohibits that sort of relationship with a minor, and the law is blind to gender or gender identity in this case.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)of having sex with a 14 year old female.
ScreamingMeemie
(68,918 posts)One male? One female? You bet your bippy I'd be signing petitions and asking for reason.
laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)This has nothing to do with the sex of the parties to me.
Wait Wut
(8,492 posts)...gender has nothing to do with it. I'm not even ready to convict either side of this mess. My hope is, both young ladies can a slap on the wrist, a little lecture on responsibility, and they can go on with the rest of their lives. Any more than that and both sides will suffer unnecessarily.
madrchsod
(58,162 posts)i still cannot figure out how anyone could say age doesn't matter because they are in love.
haele
(12,581 posts)These girls had also been dating for about a year before the oldest turned 18 and was charged the very next day.
So, if the original reports hold, 17/15 is not a huge difference - and frankly, depending on School District enrollment policy, even 17/14 isn't really that big a difference in high school. From experiance it might have been only a grade difference between them. The Kidlet was always the "oldest" in her class because of a end of December birthdate - she was originally held back a year in an Alabama Elementry school so she wouldn't be "too young" during the school year.
In California, with an early October birthday, I was always the youngest in my classes - I started my senior year 16 years old turning 17, while some compatriots started their senior year having just turned 18 a few weeks before the school year started.
They're within the same micro-generational scale of adolescence - there's only at most a three-year gap between common experiances and relatable attitudes and preferences.
Haele
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)Funny how the ages have crept in opposite directions as the media has scrutinized the issue.
Drale
(7,932 posts)but these parents are saying different. My feeling is these people are lying through their teeth about the whole thing. They claim they don't want Kate to go to prison but they started this entire thing and they could stop it at anytime. If they just wanted Kate to stay away from their daughter but she wouldn't, they could have started with a restraining order, but they didn't they went right to having her arrested as a sex criminal. They don't care about Kate or their daughter, they are homophobes of the very worst kind and all they care about is trying to force their daughter to be what they see as "normal"
shawn703
(2,702 posts)The facts of the case don't support your assertions. You can find the arrest affidavit and the statements by the sheriff's office online. They know exactly how old the girls were when the abuse occurred (14 and 18). Just because the accused's parents started screaming HOMOPHOBES HOMOPHOBES to get national attention, doesn't make it so.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)*always* works. Have these people never heard of "Romeo and Juliet"? And getting upset because their daughter didn't end up in the street after she ran away from home?
These people are idiots. Their daughter was not molested; she was engaged in CONSENSUAL activity. She has proclaimed that she *LOVES* her girlfriend. They contacted EACH OTHER (and the older one wasn't acting in a predatory manner that I have heard about).
I feel badly for the daughter because the parents are fools.
Daniel537
(1,560 posts)Or much anything else for that matter. And if the parents knew they were having sex and allowed it to keep happening, they themselves would be facing charges.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)Girls have babies and go on birth control as young as twelve (and let's be honest, even younger sometimes), and NO ONE GOES TO JAIL even when there is a ten or more year age difference.
Physicians discuss birth control options with people the law considers "too young" and AGAIN, no one goes to jail.
And the parents don't get arrested either for "permitting it" -- heck, sometimes these families go on daytime television shows to discuss it!
I am *NOT* saying this is the ideal, but it is reality. These people are idiots, and defending their "bad parenting" choices is hysterical -- their daughter was not raped, molested or abused, and she ran away from home because her parents are making her miserable.
Daniel537
(1,560 posts)It usually depends on how big the age difference is, but it happens, just do a quick Google search. And of course the dreaded sex-offender label is placed on them. But the fact remains, a 14-year old can't consent to sex under the law, or run away from home whenever she wants, and the parents have every right to tell their daughter who she can and can't see as long as she is a minor, especially when the other person is a legal adult.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)Because teenagers always do what their parents want when it comes to their sex lives.
Kali
(54,990 posts)yeah, that happens all the time
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Depends on who you believe.
And to your statement that parents won't get in trouble for allowing their kids to have sex, consider this:
"A 33-year-old Baraboo mother bought her son condoms, and could face up to 15 years in prison and a
$10,000 fine because Sauk County prosecutors think she made the wrong decision.
Because she told police she did not stop her 13-year-old son from having oral sex and sexual intercourse
with his 15-year-old girlfriend, prosecutors allege, the mother failed to prevent her child from being
sexually abused - and that's a felony."
http://www.matus1976.com/mfdlist/mfdlist_momscomdoms.htm
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)I stand by my belief that these parents are idiots destroying their relationship with their daughter because of their religious beliefs.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Did you get that from the parents of the victim or from the freekate smear site?
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)Whatever!
shawn703
(2,702 posts)And it's nice to know that sex crimes are funny to you.
justagurlinseattle
(4 posts)YOU are insulting to EVERY woman who has ACTUALLY been raped......
YOU are insulting to EVERY child who has actually been molested.....
Had this happened in Texas.... It would NOT be a crime... in fact in Florida it is a crime
for ANYBODY to have sex with ANYBODY under 18 year of age.....
That is RIDICULOUS and smacks of insanity.....
They were less than 4 years apart in age.... Going to the SAME High SCHOOL.....
It is time to STOP being to willing to throw YOUNG LIVES away like this......
Putting Kate in the SAME BOX as a RAPIST is just WRONG and wayyyyyy overboard.....
having a relationship with a school mate in high school should NOT brand you a Sex Offender for life.....
BUT, that is what is happening.......
shawn703
(2,702 posts)There are degrees of severity. No, what Kate did didn't rise up to the level of first degree sexual assault, and nobody is prosecuting it as such either. The plea deal that Kate was offered did not require registration as a sex offender. Even if she gets convicted in court now that she rejected the plea deal, Florida has a Romeo and Juliet law to keep her out of the sex offender registry.
It is a sex crime whether you like it or not. And I looked at Texas's age of consent law (17, or not more than three years in age difference) and it would have been a crime there too. In fact Texas is even more wacky since they do have language saying they would prosecute same sex relationships with less than three years age difference. In Florida it doesn't matter outside of the unfounded claim by the accused's side that the parents only filed charges because they didn't want to accept that their daughter is gay.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)They identified as being girlfriends. The parents didn't want their daughter to be sexually active (let alone with a girl), and since their daughter WANTED to explore her sexuality (GASP! A horny teenager - quick! Call the prosecutor!) she even ran away from home / snuck out to see her girlfriend to make out and such.
As a society we try to protect our children from predators. Kids who are peers in high school who are in an intimate exclusive RELATIONSHIP as identified by BOTH of them are not generally considered the same as the "predators", even when Mommy and Daddy don't like them. Parents can WANT their teenagers not to be sexually active, but wanting your little girl to stay a virgin until she is married after college isn't a decision Mommy and Daddy get to make; CONSENSUAL relationships in high school are part of a normal social learning cycle.
This is a waste of tax dollars.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Why, because they set rules for their daughter? Going by her Facebook posts to the younger girl, the older girl knew what she was doing was wrong and she could get in trouble for it. The parents gave her a couple of chances to back off, but instead of doing that she takes her back to her house to have sex. Parents know their kids aren't going to always follow their rules, but having another adult come into the picture and encourage them to break the rules is something most parents won't stand for.
Consider this scenario:
John and Jane don't have a problem with marijuana, but they don't want their son Billy smoking marijuana at the age of 14. However, the catch their son smoking it one day, and they find out that the person who gave it to him was an 18 year old senior named Mark that's on the same sports team as him. They talk to Mark and say "maybe you didn't know this, but we don't want our son smoking weed at this age, please don't give it to him again." John and Jane think everything is okay, until again they find out Billy is still smoking weed. They found out that Mark gave the marijuana to him again. They go to Mark a second time and say "maybe you didn't understand us the last time, but we don't want Billy smoking marijuana at this age. Do not give it to him again". John and Jane hope that this time Mark will get the message and as an adult make the right decision to respect their wishes as parents. Some time later, John and Jane go to Billy's room and find him missing. They spend all night looking for him. When he comes back in the morning, John and Jane ask Billy where he's been. Billy says "sorry Mom and Dad, I snuck out last night and Mark picked me up and I spent all night at his place getting high."
How would you handle what Mark did to undermine your authority as a parent? And if you don't have a problem with 14 year olds using marijuana, that's fine. Just substitute marijuana with something you really wouldn't want your 14 year old kid doing at that age.
cynzke
(1,254 posts)The earliest age to qualify as adult so the military can recruit you? You can get a driver's license at sixteen. Why not declare sixteen year olds as adults. Specifying an age limit as an adult is based not on maturity. Other factors motivate choosing eighteen as date becoming a legal adult. I'm not convinced eighteen meets the criteria of adult in all circumstances. And further, pardon me if I seem a bit skeptical about how the military benefits from this. The younger they can get those recruits the better. So while the law is the law, I don't think those deciding on eighteen weren't necessarily considering the negatives. Just sayin!
christx30
(6,241 posts)And your birthday is in December, you can't vote. If you 're 15 1/2 you can't get a driver's license (except under narrow circumstances). If you're 54 and 10 months, you can't get Denny's senior discounts.
There are people that are very mature at 18. And there are 28 year olds that can't be trusted with anything. The law can't take things on a case-by-case basis. So they slapped 18 as the line cause I guess that was a descent average.
Marrah_G
(28,581 posts)Part of me wants them to just leave the girls alone, but we really don't know the entire story.
My 15 year old started dating a 19 year old. By the time I found out his real age she was 16 and he was 20. I tried to put a stop to it and there was nothing I could do since she was 16. She ran away with him 5 weeks before her HS graduation. He was controlling and abusive and I lost her for almost 5 years. He drove away family and friends, anyone who said the slightest thing against him was cut off from her.
If these parents felt that the older girl was causing their daughter to start behaving badly then I can understand their position. Maybe it's about them being lesbians, but then again, maybe not.
We just don't know enough about the truth of the story to really judge.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)So, yes, I don't think her parents were very happy about this.
HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)and cannot accept that. My take on this. So if the other girl was 17 one day and then turned 18 the next day that 24 hours would make a difference?
They just don't like that their daughter was in a LESBIAN relationship. Would they be charging a BOY????? Doubt that.
I support Kate having raised two daughters; one straight, and one GAY. One of my daughters was gay even in HS, and my other daughter was 18 in HS dating a 15 year old boy. Oh, my, she was a SEXUAL PREDATOR!!!!
Florida is an insane state in so many ways. Thankfully, my daughters weren't raised in this state.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)Their daughter is 14. She is a minor. It is very unfair to the parents to accuse them with no basis or evidence.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)Plus the fact they are Pentecostals who are batshit crazy homophobes.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Oh wait... there isn't one because it doesn't exist.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)It has been widely reported in this case that after TWO JUDGES refused to have the older teenager expelled from high school, the parents went to a school board meeting and threw a hissy fit about her turning their daughter gay, which is when and why the older teen was sent to an alternative school.
Go read the freaking affidavit - the true love teenager stuff oozes. Sigh. Why they would even have this stuff out there forever about their daughter makes me think they should lose custody.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)If I stated in my response to you that it didn't exist.
"Widely reported" in this case means "we found it on the freekate victim smear site so it must be fact", since we know the media does such a great job researching something before reporting it.
One of the sexual encounters occurred on school grounds in the bathroom, and likely a violation of school rules. But no, of course it couldn't be breaking the school rules that would lead to expulsion.
Last I read, it was the sheriff's office that released the affidavit. The freekate crowd is upset about it because it proves they're just making it up as they go.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)Then found it reported several other places (and none of them were from the source you mentioned).
The only way you can support this is by making stuff up (including the pattern of events leading to the school change). I am confident Kate's girlfriend is upset by her parents abusive behavior. I stand by my analysis of the situation: they are IDIOTS.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)It was reported that way all over many media sites, because a few days ago the only source for any information on this case were Kate's parents and the freekate site. Only recently did the sheriff's office try to clear up all the misinformation that's out there. I'm not sure if you've read the affidavit yet, but I didn't make up the sexual encounter in the bathroom event. This event is specifically listed on the affidavit as well as Kate admitting that it happened.
I'm also sure Kate's girlfriend is upset about what her parents are doing. Kids often get upset when parents demonstrate that their actions can have consequences that they won't like. Part of being a kid is learning that you don't always get your way.
IdaBriggs
(10,559 posts)Add in "having your sex life become fodder for the Internet" and I consider them abusive.
This isn't "consequences" - it is BAD PARENTING and a little bit of common sense on their part would have gone a long way.
I get that they don't want their teenager in a relationship with someone 3 yrs, 7 months older, but it happens in high schools all over the country AND THE POLICE HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN LISTEN.
They have lost control of their daughter's sex life. My sympathy level went out the window when they tried to turn it into a felony. And if I were Kate's parents, I would be standing up for my kid, too, because their foolishness shouldn't ruin the lives of both kids (assuming the younger kid is screwed for life because of being raised by morons).
shawn703
(2,702 posts)It was Kate's parents that put all of this on the Internet first to tell their side of the story. Because of all the information and misinformation they put out there, it became very easy to identify who the younger child was. So you can thank Kate's parents for having the girls' "sex life become fodder for the Internet".
Sorry, it's consequences. And after all this, she hopefully learned something that Kate's parents failed to teach her - when you're an adult, keep your hands off of children or you could go to jail.
tammywammy
(26,582 posts)HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)She was 14 when Kate was 17. Understand what these parents did? They WAITED until the older girl turned 18.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)Yo_Mama
(8,303 posts)I don't know where it came from, but according to the court docs, the sexual relationship didn't start until the older girl was 18, and the sex occurred when the younger girl was 14.
And the parents didn't get the cops involved until the younger girl ran away, and the parents say they spoke to the older girl first.
So this is a little different that has been rumored, and although you don't have to necessarily believe what the parents of the younger girl say, the court documents do support at least part of their story.
If your 14 year-old ran away, who wouldn't call the cops?
If my 14 year-old ran away and I found out she was with her older boyfriend, I'd be pissed. I don't know that the homophobia charge is well-founded.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)A lot of disinformation out there being spread by the freekate smear site that has no basis in fact, yet our lovely media would like to report it as such.
HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)the relationship STARTED at 17 and 14. It had been going on for a YEAR. The younger girls parents WAITED a FULL YEAR to charge the older girl until she turned 18, so they could get a Felony charge.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)Per police affidavit, they were 18 and 14.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Kaitlyn turned 18 in August. They started dating in November and it became sexual around Christmas and into January. Kaitlyn was arrested in February, and she admitted to when the encounters occurred. Kaitlyn was 18 and the victim was 14 the entire time. There was no ambush, though the freekate smear site would like you to believe that.
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2013/05/21/us/hunt-arrest-affidavit.html
If they started dating in November, then Miss Hunt was already 18.
uppityperson
(115,674 posts)is what people remember, if it is initial report. Known fact it is difficult to publish corrections and have them believed. sorry for the CAPS but trying to emphasize if anyone just reads subject line.
Thanks for the info.
magical thyme
(14,881 posts)Kate turned 18 in 8/2012. They were friends from about 9/12 - 11/12, before they started dating in 11/12.
They were not friends or dating for a year. According to both Kate and the victim, the sexual relationship started in 12/12, well after Kate turned 18. They were caught by the team coach, who threw Kate off the team and notified the victim's parents. The victim's parents asked Kate twice to leave her alone.
In 1/13, the victim snuck out, called Kate and they spent the night together and had sex, according to both of them.
Had Kate respected her coach and the wishes of the victim's parents, she would not be in trouble today.
Had her parents an ounce of common sense, they would have read Kate the riot act back when she got involved with a 14 year old. And when the victim turned up in their home in January, they would have called her parents immediately and sent her home. Not let her go to bed with their daughter.
Instead the parents mounted a smear campaign against the victim's parents and is playing the LGBT community like a well-tuned fiddle.
Kate committed the stereotypical sin of the gay person: recruiting our children and turning them gay. And after fighting that stereotype for years, they've got the LGBT community up in arms defending them. Amazing. Simply amazing.
Union Scribe
(7,099 posts)Oh no, wait, that's dumb.
HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)an ADULT, in most of your eyes, for dating a 14 or 15 year old Freshman or Sophomore BOY??? Ok, come on FATHERS tell me you WOULD do that!
If you say YES, you would have charged MY daughter since she was an "adult" in HS who dated a HS "Minor" MALE. As I said on another post, my husband started HS at TWELVE. By these standards, he could not have dated AT ALL until YEARS after he had graduated HS.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)If I told her I thought my son was too young to be involved with someone her age and to keep a distance, would she respect my authority as his parent or would she sleep with him anyway?
HockeyMom
(14,337 posts)They started dating as 17 year old Junior and 14 year old Freshman. Actually, to get technical, there was a 2 and a half year age difference, but a year later, she turned 18 as a Senior whereas right after her birthday, he was still 15 and didn't turn 16 until 6 months later after my daughter had graduated. Too big of an age difference?
Plus what would you do with my husband who was 12 when he started HS and born at the end of the year? ALL the girls were older than he was. Should he date Middle School girls closer to his age? He was "only" 17 when he went to Nam. Still not an "adult"?
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Kate was 18, not 17.
The younger girl's parents made it known to Kate that they didn't approve of the relationship. Kate chose to have sex with the younger girl anyway.
I'm assuming your husband's parents didn't tell the adult girls he dated as a minor that they didn't approve of the relationship.
The important part you're missing here is that the girl's parents warned Kate to stay away twice, and Kate responded to that by taking the girl home for the night and having sex with her. What are the parents supposed to do when they have a third party coming in and blatantly undermining their authority as parents with their child?
cali
(114,904 posts)You've been told multiple times that the Affidavit states that Kate turned 18 in August. That they met in September and started dating in November, had sex sometime after Christmas of 2012 and that the younger girl was 14 the entire time.
Yo_Mama
(8,303 posts)that they would not have done the exact same thing.
And I bet they would have!
The assumption that it's because of a same-sex relationship is unwarranted.
IronicNews
(129 posts)Anybody else catch that? Near the end?
ScreamingMeemie
(68,918 posts)on their terms with only this newscaster from this station. Notice how the mother calls her by her first name? Jana? I think this is a couple used to getting what they want.
PSPS
(13,516 posts)I see "CBS12" smells some ad sales.
Locut0s
(6,154 posts)I realise maybe that makes no sense under current law and maybe the law does state that the girl can be charged as a predator or something, but that's how I feel. It seems disgusting to me.
I've talked to others here who share my view point as well. In fact it's a Facebook friend of mine who alerted me to this story and posted the same sentiment.
Union Scribe
(7,099 posts)Locut0s
(6,154 posts)The parents of the 14 year old is what I meant.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)it's just idiotic.
Evergreen Emerald
(13,069 posts)Last edited Sat May 25, 2013, 06:23 PM - Edit history (1)
Is there an age difference you would agree with?
It is not about sex. It is about power and control. Adults are much more able to manipulate children. And children are susceptible to manipulation. This 14 year old may truly love that adult. It may be flattering. It may be exciting. She is just starting to become a sexual human being and at a vulnerable time. She needs protection.
Or should we just allow adults to form relations with children? Where is the line for you?
edit: dang...that was a horrible misspelling.
BuelahWitch
(9,083 posts)They began dating when the older girl was still 17, from what I understand. There is no switch in a child's brain that clicks into "adult" mode the minute they turn 18. Your post is misleading and overly dramatic.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)Per police affidavit, one was already 18 when the two began dating.
Evergreen Emerald
(13,069 posts)The child was a 14 year old. In the old days that was called
"jail bait."
And, your facts are wrong. She was an adult when they started dating. She may only have an 18 year old brain...so when should people be treated as adults? 19? 20? 30?
uppityperson
(115,674 posts)Tien1985
(920 posts)And they are regretting it now. Did they seriously expect that their daughter, taking upper level classes and playing on varsity, would not be likely to fall romantically in love with an older student (and likely have it be reciprocated)? If so, not only are they scum, they are hopelessly stupid.
For the record:
A) Yes, I would feel the same way if the genders were different.
B) Yes, I have a child that is quickly approaching preteen ages.
A 14 yr old being sexually involved with a peer is not some sort of black mark on their moral/social development.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Is being felt by Kate for not showing respect for the rules set by her girlfriend's parents.
Tien1985
(920 posts)But to each his own.
Right now, you have one side saying we asked them to stay away and she didn't, and one side saying we offered to move out of state and they won't take that offer.
When you were in high school, if you had someone you cared about call you up and say, "I ran away from home, I'm upset and angry with my parents. Please pick me up?" Even knowing their parents didn't like you or want you hanging around that person, would you have left them there? I know very few high schoolers who wouldn't have gone and tried to help, parents be damned.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)That she ran away because she was upset with her parents, and didn't simply sneak out of the house to spend the night with her girlfriend?
Tien1985
(920 posts)"Their 14-year-old began to act out, and one weekend morning they opened her door and she was gone."--acting out, meaning not listening to her parents, arguing with them etc they said it
"It's the worst thing that I've ever experienced," Jim said. "Somebody took her is what we thought. Because her running away is the furthest thing from my mind. You hear kids getting abducted out of your home. That was heart-wrenching."--they thought she was abducted because they hadn't even thought of the possibility that she had run away, which is what actually happened.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)The parents thought their kid had run away, when in actuality all she did was sneak out to be with her girlfriend in defiance of the rules she didn't agree with.
Tien1985
(920 posts)The parents of the girl clearly said they thought she was abducted because they hadn't considered that she'd run away.
Her parents didn't even say/imply whether she was acting out over the girlfriend or because of other teenage angst.
I can understand that you feel strongly and completely opposite to my feelings on this case. I can even understand if you strongly dislike/disagree/hate my opinion about teenagers in high school having sex. It's a very touchy subject, and I doubt we will convince one another to the other side.
I'm lost, however on why you'd argue with what both parties involved in the case are agreeing to. The girl was acting out, and ran away from her parents, called her girlfriend and stayed the night. I doubt even the girl herself knew exactly what she wanted to do at that point, but nobody can really say because she's not been asked publicly.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)you would label the other parents the scum of the earth and hopelessly stupid because they did what they needed to do to keep an adult away from their child, when talking to the adult wasn't working?
"It's the worst thing that I've ever experienced," Jim said. "Somebody took her is what we thought. Because her running away is the furthest thing from my mind. You hear kids getting abducted out of your home. That was heart-wrenching."
Reported missing, and found safe, the Smiths found out she was with Kate, who picked her up even though she had been told to stay away.
The parents thought she was abducted, because her running away was furthest from their mind, which is all this quote is saying.
The smart thing for Kate to have done, if this was a legitimate runaway problem and not just sneaking out, would be to return her to her parents untouched. That could have gone a long way to showing them that she had their daughter's best interests at heart and that she's a good influence for her. This event appeared to be the final straw for the parents and proof that Kate needed more than a talking to by them to stop being a bad influence.
Tien1985
(920 posts)Scum because they are dragging both girls through this. You and I believe completely opposite things in terms of their relationship which make it hard to see each other's point of view on the matter. I do think the parents are responsible for this media circus. An ounce of forethought could have predicted it. Parents should be capable of forethought, high schoolers, not so much.
Would you, as a high schooler in a situation where a close friend or girl/boyfriend had called you up and asked you to pick them up because they had run away, left them out there or brought them back to their parents? Maybe you would have. I don't think many would. I've certainly seen the situation play out as both a teen and as a parent and have yet to see the other kid NOT jump to their friend/lovers side.
From what the parents said, that was the second incident. An incident that lots of people would have done the same thing in. Honestly, if it were my kid I'd be angry beyond belief--at MY daughter for running away. I'd be relieved that she wasn't hurt, and though I might be angry at the other girl because the whole situation was frightening, at least I'd know that my daughter wasn't hurt. It wouldn't even enter my head to charge her.
I think they are hopelessly stupid for not seeing that having their daughter spend 8hr+ at school around older students would lead to her becoming sexually attracted/involved with one. That seems blatantly ignorant.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)You do know that it's Kate's parents that started the media circus, right? They started the freekate Facebook page, started printing up FREE KATE STOP THE HATE t-shirts and the whole nine yards. We didn't hear a peep on the matter from the other girl's parents until a couple of days ago after they started getting threats from people who were able to figure out who they are and who their daughter is - similar to how the media circus surrounding the Steubenville rape case inadvertently led to the name of that victim being plastered all over the Internet too.
When I was a teenager, if I had someone call me saying they ran away and could I come pick them up - yes I would pick them up. I wouldn't just take them back home though. If they needed a minute to talk and cool down, we would do that and then I'd take my friend home. If it was a situation where she was in danger and really needed to get out of an abusive environment, I would take her home in that situation, but my parents are going to know the whole story and I'd let them figure out what the best option would be in that case. In that case, I'm sure the police would have been involved - but it would have been us calling to let them know where she is and what's going on, not the other way around. I highly doubt that part of her staying the night in that kind of situation would have been us sharing a bed together. For one, my parents wouldn't have allowed it, and for another I wouldn't take advantage of a friend in that kind of vulnerable state.
I don't think they expected their daughter to not be attracted to one of her peers. I think they expected Kate to be the adult and to have respect for their belief that she was too old to be romantically involved with their child. It didn't become a legal matter until it was apparent that Kate wasn't going to respect them.
Tien1985
(920 posts)For the other's parents to go to the media. Many people support boys who are caught in the exact same situation and they are trying to keep her from going to jail or having a felony on her record. I think if the younger girl's parents had considered what may possibly happen as a result of having her arrested, they could have seen this coming. Before I said what I'd do if I were the younger girl's parents, on the other side of things, had I been Kate's parents, yes, I would absolutely have tried to drum up outside support to keep my daughter from having a felony on her record because she dated someone from her classes.
I also think it's very much a possibilty that your teenager might fall for someone who doesn't respect or agree with your views on sex. Particularly if your views are "don't have it", or "only have it with people who we approve of".
I was 13 when I started high school. Due in part to redshirting, there were a number of kids who were 19 throughout most of their senior year. It was not at all weird to have all sorts if grade level pairing. This was just another fact of life in for us. To name any of those as a felony, to me, is insane. That is where I am coming from, and yeah, that makes their actions seem dispicable to me. They are doing damage completely unnecessarily. Chances are high the older girl would've left for college ad it would have fizzled out, leaving the younger girl with some fond and sad memories, much like likes of people's first love.
Had the girl been mentally handicapped--had the girl been not in the same school where she didn't have so much contact with the older girl, I could see how that could show manipulation and abuse. This is a girl in upper level classes who hang out with older students. It was pretty much bound to happen.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)I certainly don't remember a similar case receiving this much national attention and whipping people up into a hysteria because of all the misinformation getting put out there. I'm still not sure how you can blame the victim's family for what this has become now.
Maybe the answer is to include a review of the applicable age of consent laws in sex education classes like someone else suggested before. I don't think we should expect parents to be okay with their 14 year olds being sexually involved with 18 year olds - or in your example 13 year olds possibly being sexually involved with 19 year olds. I especially don't think we should expect parents to be okay with a third party undermining their authority as parents by encouraging them to break the rules. The parents warned her to stop twice, and when she wouldn't stop, they did what they had to do to make her stop.
Tien1985
(920 posts)Comprehensive, non judgmental sex Ed, including applicable laws is always the best option. In fact, an assignment about comparing different states' consent laws would be a great way to have a conversation with teens about sex, age and perception.
I remember a few cases nationally where it was a boy rather than a girl--those cases weren't as big, but they have happened. To be fair to them, I think the heightened amount of attention is due to them being lesbians. I do think it was predictable (that them being lesbians would make it even bigger, and what that would imply about them).
They would probably get more sympathy from some people if they came out clearly saying "we have no problem with our daughter being a lesbian". If they did, I could imagine that most of the interest outside their local community would be negated, or even turn to their favor because it would make the other side look bad.
They don't actually say that, only that they are looking out for her best interests. Too many LGBT people had parents who felt it was in their "best interests" to prevent them from "turning gay" for this to be taken without it being spelled out. Do they have a problem with their daughter being a lesbian? Straight answer, nothing but a yes or no needed. Doing that could only help them on a social level if they answered "no". But that's their prerogative, I guess.
Take a similar situation where it was racially sensitive instead of orientation related. I can't imagine being accused of being racist and saying, "I don't know where that came from. I am my child's advocate, I'm just looking out for his best interests." I think it would be clearer to say "I'm not a racist. I don't care of my child dates someone of a different race, I am concerned that the person they were dating is too old."
That's somewhat irrelevant to how I feel about it--but I think it needs to be mentioned.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)to respond to every smear out there. In fact, I think that smear combined with all the other bits of misinformation that came out from Kate's camp only hurts their credibility in the long run. When it first hit the papers as a 15 year old girl and 17 year old girl, and then on the 17 year olds 18th birthday she gets arrested because of homophobic parents, I did sympathize with Kate's side for a hot minute. A little bit of research and seeing how things didn't exactly happen as was being claimed - well now I don't believe a word out of their mouths unless it ends up being backed up by evidence.
uppityperson
(115,674 posts)Tien1985
(920 posts)Responses in this thread and you'll see I've explained pretty thoroughly what I think.
I'm not trying to change your mind if you fall in one direction or another--but yeah, I find them reprehensible, and that's probably not going to change.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)They didn't wait until she turned 18 to report it. She was 18 before the relationship started. 6 months before Kate was arrested.
Kate's parents had an opportunity to be honest, and stand up and say 'look, we don't believe this was wrong, our daughter is not a predator, they were in love, and just fell outside arbitrary legal definitions' and I'd be totally on board, EVEN WITH a 4 year delta between the two parties. Humans are humans. Ok, I get it. If they made it about adjusting the law, allowing for the age groups common within high school, or adding exceptions to the law (Currently there are NO affirmative defenses to the charge, except 'I didn't do it') that would be cool, and I would support it. Humans are not binary automatons, and this wasn't a case of a mature adult victimizing a helpless child. This is very much in the grey margins of what the law was designed to protect.
But Kate's parent's didn't do that. They engaged in the politics of personal destruction to get their way. So my sympathy has pretty much dried up as a result. What happened wasn't right, but I certainly don't believe it was predatory, and shouldn't be a felony in this case (and I think a jury will agree). But now, the parent's actions in Kate's defense are coming to light, and people don't like being lied to. It's going to hurt Kate in the long run. They should have been honest.
(You do realize that the younger girl's parents are legally obligated to report the sexual activity to the police, and so was the school, right?)
At the end of the day, the younger girl's parents MIGHT be homophobes, or they MIGHT disapprove of the relationship on gender identity grounds, but at this time, Kaitlyn's parent's allegations against them don't hold water, now that the police records are public. They lied about Kate's age, and when the other parents reported it. They fudged the ages when speaking publicly, the police records clearly show that at the time of the sexual encounter, the age delta was 14/18, not 15/17. Kate's parents are liars. And in a way, I can understand that. I would do most anything to support my child as well. Hopefully not something as stupid as getting caught lying trying to drum up support, but I can at least see why they did it. But they should not have. They owe the other parents, and the general public a retraction, and an apology.
I don't believe a single claim made by Kaitlyn's parents now. And that is sad, because Kate needs all the help she can get right now.
Tien1985
(920 posts)This blog (not mine) almost perfectly describes my feelings on the whole thing.
http://www.wbez.org/blogs/achy-obejas/2013-05/kate-hunt-saga-107375
The subject has been beaten to death. Nothing more will come out of this until the case proceeds.
AtheistCrusader
(33,982 posts)I didn't even consider that Hunt's parents may not have accurately represented Kaitlyn's sexuality. An additional monkey wrench.
I guess I chalk their behavior up to parents desperate to protect their child. Which is not exactly abnormal, but the 'facts' they claimed that have been walked back (The father posted the same claims as this post references to the mother, in several op-ed pieces through various sources) actually hurt Kaitlyn, not help, in the long run.
Sad really. The whole situation is messed up.
uppityperson
(115,674 posts)here.
I've no dog in this race, just trying to understand what others mean since internet communication is often unclear. Thanks.
shawn703
(2,702 posts)Pro-Kate people spin that as she wanted to get away from her horrible abusive homophobic parents, and while she was scared and lost wandering the streets, called the only person she believed really cared about her. Out of the goodness of her heart, Kate came to the rescue and brought her home like someone would bring home a stray kitten.
Sneaking out would mean that circumstances were different - the younger girl left the home in the middle of the night to meet up with her girlfriend for a romantic encounter. The sneaking out part was necessary since "Hey mom, hey dad, I want to spend the night with Kate who I know you said needed to stay away from me" probably wouldn't work.
Nikia
(11,411 posts)For being with 14-15 year old girls, I don't understand what the big deal is except that it is a same sex relationship. In all three cases, the parents went to the police. One of the guys spent 10 years in prison.
The law might not seem right. Many 18 years old get away with such relationships, but some don't, just like drug laws.
LisaL
(44,962 posts)Seems to make all the difference.
uppityperson
(115,674 posts)Yo_Mama
(8,303 posts)Because I also know cases where this happened and the guys were charged.
If you don't like the age of consent, then you can lobby to have it changed in your state, but to get angry because a same-sex pairing is viewed legally the same way as a different sex pairing is odd.
But maybe people don't know how often this comes up. Usually it ends with a warning, because the law exists and that is a pretty rough threat. When it doesn't end with a warning, it shouldn't be a surprise that a prosecutor gets into the business.
life long demo
(1,113 posts)that I initially saw nothing wrong, but after asking myself what if the 18 yo was a male, would I feel any different. I would, so therefore I have to say the 18 and 14 yo is wrong, only because of the ages. And yes you can't help who you fall in love with, but you can stay within the laws. I am for the right to love and/or marry whom ever you want, but a 14 year old is too young.