Reports: Possible explosives in toothpaste on Russia-bound planes

[Capt. Obvious]

Source: USA Today

The Department of Homeland Security is warning airlines to monitor toothpaste containers aboard flights headed to Russia for the Olympics, ABC News is reporting, citing a senior U.S. official who said the tubes could contain ingredients for a bomb. CNN and NBC News also were reporting on the advisory.

This is a breaking news update; check back for more details later.

Read more: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2014/02/05/toothpaste-russia-olympics/5235517/

[Ed Suspicious]

1. Be on the lookout for explosive toothpaste?

[Titonwan]

14. Obviously

we ain't skeered enuf. EEEEEEE! BOO!

[elleng]

2. Swell

Information about the possible threat was picked up in a stream of intelligence that authorities have been analyzing in advance of the Sochi Games, which have been threatened by Islamist extremists.

The official said the decision to alert the airlines was made out of an abundance of caution and may likely be the first of many such bulletins issued related to possible threats in Russia.

[Journeyman]

3. Oh, lordy, lordy, lordy -- now they done took my toothpaste! . . .

You get the feeling at times, someone's just fuckin' with the DHS?

Information about the possible threat was picked up in a stream of intelligence that authorities have been analyzing in advance of the Sochi Games . . .

"And next, we make them scared of their deodorant -- but only the roll on kind!"

[Demeter]

5. Yeah, they fuck with us...some smart-alecks fuck with them

It's a vicious circle.

And it makes the real terrorists feel ignored and neglected.

[awoke_in_2003]

17. Yep, it sure seems that way sometimes...

but it is easy to fuck with someone who makes really dumb decisions. Remember when you couln't take a lighter on a plane, but you could take matches? Yeah, real smart guys over there at DHS.

[Journeyman]

19. The one that amazed the most was when we couldn't take any liquids on board the plane. . .

so they made us dump all liquids into one common drum in the middle of the boarding area, potentially creating a giant bomb or toxic waste dump right in the middle of all the people they were charged with protecting.

There's a word for it. I believe "dumb asses" fits.

[NYC Liberal]

26. Or as that SNL skit pointed out...

Dane: Look, look, look!! The important thing about today is that the TSA is loosening our restrictions on liquids and gels! Now, you can bring three ounces of liquids or gels, as long as thy are inside of a see-through baggie!

Will: Why?

Dane: Why, what?

Will: Why did it change?

Dane: That's a good question. Good. Because the FBI did tests and found that, uh, three ounces of liquids can't blow up an airplane.

Kenan: But, four ounces of liquid can still blow up an airplane?

Dane: Uh, we're still not sure on that. But what is important here is that three ounces can't. < turns to face Chris > So, uh, we're safe as long as we stick withthe three?

Amy: Well, what's to stop two people from each having three ounces, and then meeting on the plane to combine them? < smiles at her own level of genius >

[another_liberal]

4. Seriously?

What a load of thoroughly dubious bullshit. That's the kind of nonsense the NSA's "metadata" will give you.

[Demeter]

6. In my opinion, if there's no money trail

then they are just playing the colored warning game, to terrorize the civilians.

[another_liberal]

9. Agreed.

Exactly what it sounds like.

[Blue Owl]

7. Let me guess -- it is activated by a dental floss fuse

[jmowreader]

8. Oh lord...

I tell ya what. I am going to start a chain of grooming aids stores that sets up right next to airports. It'll be called "fuck the TSA." Fly in, go to my store, buy all the stuff you need, then come back before you fly home and we mail whatever's left to you.

[Brigid]

11. You just might have a business plan here.

Gotta love the name at least.

[jmowreader]

23. "Screw TSA" would make for a better logo

I'm thinking the letters "TSA" with a huge wood screw running right through them.

[Kelvin Mace]

10. You know,

If I were a "terrorist" I would engage in "violenceless terrorism".

All I would do would be to send emails to people talking about how I planned on carrying out various terrorist attacks:

- Create explosives using Elmer's Glue, glitter, Mentos and Diet Coke.

- Build real hand phasers, then disguise them as toy hand phasers, sneak them onto a plane, then disintegrate buildings as I flew past them

- Climb a pole next to an electrical transformer and reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, which would blow up the power grid.

- Build a Klingon Battle Cruiser in my basement, then attack an aircraft carrier (This ship would be crewed with REAL Klingons, not those turtle-headed monstrosities Roddenberry conjured up in 1979).

- Smuggle parts of a gun on board, disguised as pacemakers in two dozen people.

- Plan on replacing my intestines, pancreas, kidneys, and uvula with plastic explosive replicas, then detonate myself by running into a wall REAL hard.

- Create a completely fake religion, build it into a cash cow by swindling my believers, then infiltrate the government...oops, wait, that's $cientology.

The point is, just make shit up, these morons will believe anything.

Why go to all the trouble and effort of actually waging a terror campaign when you can make your enemies spend billions of dollars on bogus plots?

(Dear NSA dickweed:

This is an example of "satire". If you are unfamiliar with the word, please consult a "dictionary". That's "dik-shun-airy", a book that explains what words mean. Please consult a six-year if you need help)

[another_liberal]

13. I'll bet dollars to doughnuts . . .

Your computer is going to mysteriously start running slower whenever you go on the Internet. Strange, unexpected "updates" may also be requesting permission to, "Make changes to your hard drive."

(the NSA is not known for having a sense of humor)

[jmowreader]

24. Where do you think all the heightened alerts during Shrub's rein came from?

After the inmates in Gitmo found out the effect a reported terrorist plot had on the US Government, they started inventing terrorist plots out of whole cloth. A logical person would think, "how could someone who had been cut off from the world in a prison seven thousand miles from home, and in the middle of the ocean to boot, find out about a fiendish plot that was supposed to take place this weekend?" but "logical" and "Bush Administration" haven't ever been used in the same sentence.

[Titonwan]

12. In other news...

Nitro-glycerin is being put in Scope mouth wash. Caution: Avoid gargling. Swish VERY gently.

[truthisfreedom]

15. I wonder how Russian toothpaste tastes?

Sounds like Americans will be tasting a lot of it.

[LiberalEsto]

18. Like beets, I suspect

Or maybe cabbage

[laundry_queen]

28. Vodka flavored. nt

[longship]

16. Great! Now everybody has to get to their destination with halitosis.

And you can't even bring mouthwash. Oh dear! It's a liquid!!!!!! And toothpaste tubes have plastic explosives!!!!!!!!

As Bruce Schneier puts it, it's nothing but security theater.

[davidpdx]

20. I don't find anything funny about this

It certainly is possible to cause an explosion with enough of a liquid. Sounds like everyone is crying conspiracy.

[WhoWoodaKnew]

21. I am so glad that I'm in no way in charge of keeping the terrorists at bay.

[davidpdx]

22. It's not a position I'd want to find myself in

If something went wrong it would be devastating.

[treestar]

25. I agree, I'd like to see them all board planes

[leftynyc]

29. Me neither

Are any of the people pooh poohing this getting on an airplane heading for Sochi? I guarantee not. Are there Muslim extremists who have been targeting Russia for years? YES. Would the opportunity to screw up the Olympics be too much to resist? I say probably. How many of us trashed the bush administration for not paying attention to assorted memos and warnings? I know I did. These people are no better than the freepers who think they're heading for a FEMA camp.

[doc03]

27. I would suspect any Brit that is carrying toothpaste. n/t

[dipsydoodle]

30. Moscow sees misunderstanding in reports on ‘toothpaste danger’ for Russia flights.

Russian Foreign Ministry spokesman, Aleksandr Lukashevich, has said media reports that explosives could be smuggled into Russia ahead of the Sochi Winter Olympics in toothpaste tubes might emerge because of a “misunderstanding.” Earlier reports were allegedly based on a US Homeland Security Department warning. It might be due to “misunderstanding or wrong translation,” Lukashevich said on Thursday, as cited by Interfax.

see 6 February, 2014 14,39 GMT here : http://rt.com/news/line/2014-02-06/