Punched, Groped, Beer Thrown in My Face: Being a Woman at a Concert Can Be Terrifying

[ghostsinthemachine]

The unpredictable nature of live concerts can lead to very unsafe scenarios for female fans.


A few weeks ago, as I stood in line to buy beer at a Josh Abbott Band concert in Thackerville, Oklahoma, I noticed that a group of drunk frat boys had decided to cut in front of me. The beer line was exceedingly long, and there was no way that I was waiting even longer for this group of bros to slur their order at the bartender. As soon as a space opened, I quietly stepped back in front of them and waited to order my beer. As soon as I did, one of the guys in the group yelled, “Back of the line, you fat cunt!” before physically charging at me and threatening violence until a security guard broke up the kerfuffle and sent the offending bro back into the massive (and rowdy) crowd to calm down.
In the nearly 10 years that I have been attending and reviewing live music, I have been punched, groped and had beer thrown in my face. I have snuck out of shows early to escape the aggressive advances of a man who just wouldn’t take no for an answer. I have watched and intervened as men tried to take advantage of falling-down-drunk women who could barely keep their eyes open. I have seen artists make sexually inappropriate remarks about me and other women from the stage. Unfortunately, my experience as a woman in music is not unique.

To be female and a fan is to be in a pretty precarious position pretty much all of the time. Depending on the genre you enjoy, male fans who share your interests might call you a “poser,” or insinuate that you’re not as punk or metal or hip-hop (or aswhatever) as you claim to be. They will mansplain your favorite genre to you, even if you’re a scholar. Most important, though, the dangerous and unpredictable nature of concert culture means that it is often entirely unsafe to be a woman in a dark, crowded music venue.

Hmmm,not all concerts are this way however.

[msongs]

1. whip out the 'ol cell phone nt

[HooptieWagon]

2. Maybe seeing the wrong bands?

No excuse for such behavior, but the bands I see have pretty mellow crowds. I'd say any gathering that attracts frat boys is one to avoid.

[ghostsinthemachine]

3. kind of blaming the victim, again

I had a good friend raped at String Cheese Horning's hideout and you would never think that would happen there. The most loving place on the planet. Kind of blaming the victim there.
Dudes suck.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

4. ^ n/t

[HooptieWagon]

5. It's common sense to be aware of your surroundings.

And self-preservation + common sense goes a long way in avoiding dangerous situations.

[gaspee]

6. So

So, women shouldn't attend concerts without a male escort, or even better, at all. Gotcha.

[HooptieWagon]

12. No.

She's perfectly entitled to attend the concert alone if she wishes.
You are perfectly entitled to proceed through an intersection on the green light. A car is rapidly approaching from the side street, and appears likely to run the red light. Do you:a) insist on your right to proceed through the intersection, have the other car T-bone you, and are happy you insisted on your right? Or b) hit the brakes, the asshole misses you, and you're happy to not get in a wreck even though you would have been 100% in the right?

Sometimes, insisting on your rights carries a risk that you will encounter some a-hole(s) that aren't going to respect your rights. Prudence would suggest that you make yourself aware of those risks beforehand. You wouldn't stroll into an ISIS camp, or sail a boat off the coast of Somalia, for instance.

[gaspee]

8. Not kind of

That's 100% victim blaming.

[gaspee]

7. Did you miss the part

Did you skip over the part that she's a reviewer? Maybe women shouldn't have that job.

[CharlotteVale]

9. So are women supposed to be psychic now

in order to know where frat boys will show up? Or any other type of maurading male? You are blatantly blaming the victim.

[cyberswede]

13. Maybe the assholes should LEAVE WOMEN THE FUCK ALONE

Jesus Christ.

A woman should be able to see any band she fucking well pleases without being groped or harassed.

Not all women like music that attracts "mellow crowds."

[HooptieWagon]

14. I agree.

But a combination of young males, testosterone, alchohol (and lord knows what else), often leads to unruly behavior or worse.
I'm a sound engineer, my gf is a musician. There's some venues and crowds we avoid. Do we have the right to work there? Absolutely. But good luck, the trouble and risk simply aren't worth it. And don't count on the cops to ensure your rights. My brother was badly injured in an unprovoked attack at a show a couple weeks ago. Despite dozens of witnesses, some of whom provided a positive ID including name of the attacker, the cops simply aren't interested in any sort of investigation, follow up, or arrest.

[cyberswede]

15. Very sorry about your brother!

Rereading my post, I hope it didn't come off like I was ranting at you. I'm annoyed at the situation, not at you.

[Panich52]

10. Is this a recent trend?

Back in my youth, I don't remember such rudeness at concerts. It wasn't the bands -- from Doors (2 x) & Iron Butterfly in Pittsburgh to Heart in Erie to Jethro Tull in Cincy. Maybe it's because no alcohol was sold at venues I attended (I don't know how many did then).

[geek tragedy]

11. lack of alcohol definitely helps. But, abusive behavior at concerts is not a new thing. nt