Diagramming Sarah - Grammarian tries to diagram Palin-speak

[underpants]

Slate link
From 2008
Diagrams are at the link


There are plenty of people out there—not only English teachers but also amateur language buffs like me—who believe that diagramming a sentence provides insight into the mind of its perpetrator. The more the diagram is forced to wander around the page, loop back on itself, and generally stretch its capabilities, the more it reveals that the mind that created the sentence is either a richly educated one—with a Proustian grasp of language that pushes the limits of expression—or such an impoverished one that it can produce only hot air, baloney, and twaddle.

I found myself considering this paradox once again when confronted with the sentences of Sarah Palin, the Republican vice-presidential nominee. No one but a Republican denial specialist could argue with the fact that Sarah Palin's recent TV appearances have scaled the heights of inanity. The sentences she uttered in interviews with Charles Gibson, Sean Hannity, and Katie Couric seem to twitter all over the place like mourning doves frightened at the feeder. Which left me wondering: What can we learn from diagramming them?

I had to give up. This sentence is not for diagramming lightweights. If there's anyone out there who can kick this sucker into line, I'd be delighted to hear from you. To me, it's not English—it's a collection of words strung together to elicit a reaction, floating ands and prepositional phrases ("with that vote of the American people&quot be damned. It requires not a diagram but a selection of push buttons.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Palin doesn't actually use grammar.

She just puts words together that she thinks might be somewhat related to each other. You know those magnetic poetry kits, where you get a little box of words on magnets and you can write "poetry" by sticking those words on a metal surface like a refrigerator? It's like that. Apparently she got the Politics magnetic poetry kit and she's just taking words out of the box and sticking them on her refrigerator.

[Control-Z]

6. You nailed it.

Yours is the first explanation that makes absolute sense. She got the politics magnetic poetry kit and writes her speeches off the refrigerator.

I can just picture her standing in the kitchen putting together her speeches on the refrigerator. It all makes sense now.
Lol

[NJCher]

2. the horror is.

that she was a communications major in college. I think she went to something like seven colleges.

Sound familiar? A quitter.

[Gothmog]

3. This was posted N2Doc earlier today

[underpants]

4. That was actually what I was looking for

I saw it on FB and tried to find it. Hilarious.

[MyOwnPeace]

5. Too funny!

Sent the link to my son - an English teacher!

[underpants]

7. I couldn't post the actual diagrams

Yes this is a hoot.

[elljay]

8. Glad you gave up before it was too late!

It was a noble try, but just not worth having to retrain your brain after frying most of your neurons.