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Thu Feb 18, 2021, 05:35 PM

😆 Ted Cruz honestly surprised so many people want him around 😆

Opinion by Alexandra Petri


I, Ted Cruz, am hearing now that my decision to go to Cancun while Texas is devastated by a winter storm and when millions remained without power was — wrong!

This has been very confusing for me. I was just doing what I thought made sense, based on my entire life’s experience of how people respond to my being somewhere, which is to say: They get mad that I am there and say they want me to leave.

Seeing Texas in crisis, my reasoning was that the last thing anyone would want would be for me to show up. I assumed that the only thing that could make everyone’s experience worse would be the addition of Ted Cruz. “My power is out… I am breaking up my furniture to burn it… and Ted Cruz is here!” That third thing would be the thing that broke you, I think.

It has been a new experience for me to see people upset that I am NOT there rather than simply upset that I am there. Indeed, seeing people roundly denouncing me for going away from them during their time of trial has been… confusing and bittersweet. It really sounds like they wish I were there, but that can’t be it, can it? I know that can’t be it.

Obviously, if you are about to change the habit of a lifetime and be angry that I am absent instead of present, I am excited about it! I am coming back now! And I have an enormous collection of cans of soup! I promise I will never leave your side again.

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Reply 😆 Ted Cruz honestly surprised so many people want him around 😆 (Original post)
underpants Feb 18 OP
Laelth Feb 18 #1

Response to underpants (Original post)

Thu Feb 18, 2021, 06:04 PM

1. D'Souza is right.

Texas is better off with Cruz in Cancun.

If only he would stay there.


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