Biologists Confirm God Evolved From Chimpanzee Deity
Challenging long-held views on the origins of divinity, biologists at the University of California, Berkeley, presented findings Thursday that confirm God, the Almighty Creator of the Universe, evolved from an ancient chimpanzee deity.
The recently discovered sacred ancestor, a divine chimp species scientists have named Pan sanctorum, reportedly gave rise over millions of years to the Lord Our God, Maker of Heaven and Earth.
Although perhaps not obvious at first glance, there are actually overwhelming similarities between the Supreme Being of today and this early primate deity who preceded Him, said Dr. Richard Kamen, a leading biologist who also heads Berkeleys paleotheology department. The holy chimp moved around on all fours, but its descendants eventually began walking upright to expend less energy while foraging across the infinite reaches of the universe. This of course led to the bipedalism of modern-day God.
In fact, you can see a distinct likeness to God in the chimpanzee deitys skeletal structures, not to mention its prototypical expressions of vengeance and wrath, Kamen continued. The great-ape god was, however, considerably smaller in stature, having not yet developed the capacity to occupy all space and time simultaneously.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/biologists-confirm-god-evolved-from-chimpanzee-dei,35755/
SevenSixtyTwo
(255 posts)That are just now starting to walk upright, think basic thoughts and master basic motor skills.
Zorro
(15,737 posts)I lived in the Panhandle for years...
RainDog
(28,784 posts)oldwizard
(2 posts)Zorro, thanks for the post. I'd never heard of "The Onion", and without your post, I probably never would have. Extremely entertaining site.
Thanks again, and if you know of similar sites please post them.
Zorro
(15,737 posts)here's another site that's worth checking out.
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport