Iranian mother who spared her son's killer: 'Vengeance has left my heart'

[Jefferson23]

Interview Samereh Alinejad tells the Guardian she had no intention of sparing her son's killer, Balal, until the moment she asked for the noose to be removed from his neck




The idea she might pardon her son's killer first came to Samereh Alinejad in a dream. It was a message she didn't want to hear.

Abdollah Hosseinzadeh was stabbed and killed in a street brawl in the autumn of 2007 when he was only 18. He had known his killer, Balal. The two, barely out of their teens at the time, had played football together. Abdollah was the second son Alinejad had lost, her youngest died as a boy in a motorbike accident when he was 11. Furious in her grief, she was determined Balal would hang.

But as Balal's execution date drew nearer, Abdollah appeared to his mother in a series of vivid dreams.

"Ten days before the execution was due, I saw my son in a dream asking me not to take revenge, but I couldn't convince myself to forgive," she told the Guardian. "Two nights before that day, I saw him in the dream once again, but this time he refused to speak to me."

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/25/interview-samereh-alinejad-iranian-mother-spared-sons-killer

[MADem]

1. Amazing story and the photo essay which can be found on the web is amazing. nt

[Jefferson23]

2. Remarkable mother. I was struck by how much power Iran gives to the victims family.

I was not aware of that before reading this, astonishing.

[MADem]

3. It's sharia law. Justice is very personalized. This is common elsewhere as well.

This is why, in places where it is practiced, you can find murderers who have walked free because they are wealthy, and they buy off the family of the victim.

There's certainly a pragmatic aspect when you see stuff like that happen--the victim's family needs the money the victim would have provided, so they take blood money in exchange. Often the death of a victim will lift a family out of poverty, so it's a mixed bag of emotions for those left behind. They have to make the trade of money for the life and freedom of the murderer. The perpetrator is out only money; if there's any jailing to be done (in some places they'll do a little token jailing) and the criminal is wealthy, it's a very soft incarceration.

In this case, though, the mother simply had a moment of clarity--it's a very pure story which makes it very compelling to me. It says a lot about how that mother was raised, what kind of family she had and how she raised her children (and talk about sad--to lose TWO sons in a culture where the lads are prized). I find it amusing that the decision fell to the mother (amusing in an odd way--probably not the best word as women's status as a 2nd class citizen is enshrined in the fact that the only reason the woman had the "live or die" decision is because her HUSBAND gave it to her...all things through the man in that culture); this is not typical. The father of the victim is probably a very gentle soul himself, he's deferring to his wife and in the public square you wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to play the Big Man on Campus, just for the sake of posturing.

Of course, the story is being used in internal media as an example of "honoring" women, when in actual fact she should have been given half the power to decide the murderer's fate by right...but that's a gripe for another day!

The murderer in this circumstance is from a poor family; they have no money to bribe officials or pay off judges, so the murderer will remain in jail for the foreseeable future. He may get a pardon in old age at a religious holiday, who knows? He has his life after killing his friend, though, and where there is life there is hope!

[Jefferson23]

4. That is how the story impacted me, how a mother could let go of all that pain by

ending the killers execution..powerful.

Thank you for your input on the back story too.

[MADem]

5. You are more than welcome--and thank you for posting this article.

I hope more folks get a gander at it--it gives one hope for the future of humanity!

I saw the pictures and a brief narrative with a link to a Persian website that was posted on DU last week, but the thread didn't get much play, as often happens.

I think this is a very positive story about how we humans react to shitty circumstances and heal--one of the best stories I've read so far this year on a number of levels!

[Jefferson23]

6. Agreed, it is a tragic situation for any family any where in the world facing

such senseless violence against their loved ones, the powerful message the mother offers is one for us all.



I hope more read it too.

[yurbud]

7. I hope this does something to dispel the stereotype that Iran is one giant suicide bomber waiting

for the right moment to push the button.

People have all kinds of motives there, like here, and want to live, and in this case, even forgive.

People should think of women like this the next time Washington tries to sell "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran."

[MADem]

8. The people of Iran are GREAT. No one parties better (really).

They are superb hosts. The ritual taruf is a bit of a drill to learn and understand the nuances (it seems very insincere to people who don't get that it's a bit of performance art to let a person know that they value another person), but the people are wonderful and you'll never go wrong if you ask after the well-being of a Persian's family. The government, eh, not so hot...but they're in a region where the "strong leader paradigm" is ingrained in the cultural fabric; it will take a while for that whole "democracy" idea to really take hold. Right now, no one can get on a ballot without the approval of the ruling authorities; it kind of makes any hope for change difficult.

They also love poetry and flowery language, and often that language doesn't translate well. "Death to Amrika" and "Amrika the Great Shatan" don't sound too cuddly, certainly, but if you are aware that they are fond of a great deal of hyperbole it takes the worst of the edge off of the insult. It's still an insult, make no mistake, but it's just not quite as literal as it might appear at first blush. These are people who can hurl very creative insults like "Dog sperm!" at "Snake venom!" at people they don't like. They find our simple and direct talk rather refreshing. Many of the young people would like to move to a more simple and less convoluted way of expressing themselves.

McCain never met a war he didn't like. I really think he should know better given his horrific experience in the Hanoi Hilton; but perhaps he is one of those fellows who comes from the "I had it tough, so you should TOO" mindset. He comes from a long line of warriors, his dad and granddad made it to flag officer, but even with his war record they wouldn't promote him--he got as far as 0-6 and HIT THE WALL. That might not sound like much of anything in the civilian world, but in the military, coming from a family of flag officers, to not be able to make that jump from senior officer to flag, is TELLING. What it means is that his peers and superiors did not LIKE him.

And judging by his performance at OLA (Office of Legislative Affairs--it's where he got his "Hill bug" and was motivated to run for office) they had good reason to not like him. I'll bet they're STILL talking about what an ass he was up in there!

[yurbud]

9. I didn't know that bit about McCain--that's very telling. I've met many Persians in LA

and they could not be further from the stereotype in our media.

[MADem]

10. They used to call him a (naughty word) master back in the day.

He was one of those abusive yelling bosses who also cut a wide swathe through "secretarial pools." It was a Mad Men kind of era; women put up with a lot of shit back then. He and his wife were pretty much done by then; she'd been injured in a bad car wreck while he was in the HH, and didn't want to deal with his childish shit anymore. She'd gotten him home (she really did work her ass off, too, to help make that happen) and she felt her obligation was done. She didn't hate him (he helped her out of a bad marriage and adopted her kids), she just didn't want to put up with his juvenile antics or even fight about them.

Then he met the Beer Princess, and his life changed! Bing-bang-boom, off to Congress!

[Jefferson23]

11. +1