Literal "Noah's Ark" believer baffled by basic questions

[celtics23]

Love this.

[SunSeeker]

1. He never wondered why all of the animals of the world on a 450-foot ark didn't eat each other.

Last edited Mon Mar 31, 2014, 05:02 PM - Edit history (1)

[tclambert]

3. They ate unicorns.

[SunSeeker]

6. LOL

[Plucketeer]

9. And Dinosaurs. nt

[Warpy]

27. All magical thinkers need to say is gawd put 'em all in suspended animation

That takes care of both the food and the shit problems. Even Noah's sons couldn't have kept up with the shit, even with an easy way to sweep it overboard.

Then again just all the species of insect life on the planet would have been heavy enough to sink the boat.

[whopis01]

2. I don't understand why he couldn't answer the questions... All the questions have logical answers...

For example:

Q: How was Noah able to tend to all the animals on the ark?
A: A wizard did it.

Q: Why didn't the natural predators attack their prey?
A: A wizard did it.

Q: How was the ark able to float despite that being impossible according to science?
A: A wizard did it.

See? It isn't that hard.

[zebonaut]

4. Breaking News: Its a damn Fairy Tale

The Queen Mary Super Ship couldn't even hold all the species of Earth nor be built by one or two luddites from the 1st century.

Its a FAIRY TALE. Like the Three Little Pigs.

[DhhD]

5. Living organisms of every kind would be proof of evolution or rapid speciation:

All 10 generations from Adam to Noah were alive at the same time.

The bad genome of the Giants disappeared from Earth.

The sun came out and mutations caused people to have shorter lives.

This book is worth reading.

[GeorgeGist]

18. Sarcasm?

[arcane1]

25. It's difficult to tell sometimes, isn't it?

On Facebook this week I've been seeing posts about "The True Story" which basically says that certain things in the movie didn't "really" happen, yet none of the things they mention are in the Bible story either. It's been rather amusing to see people trying to defend what they think the Bible says, when it doesn't even say it

[Pretorius]

7. So many questions...so little time. But here goes...

Last edited Mon Mar 31, 2014, 06:54 PM - Edit history (1)

How could a man and his immediate family care for 1,000 times more animals than in the largest zoo on Earth today which requires a staff of hundreds to maintain daily?

When the Ark set ground after the waters receded, and all the animal came out to walk back to their new homes, how did a 3-toed Sloth, that moves 6.5 FEET per minute in between 20hr long naps, walk from that location to South America...while evading predators in open ground and requiring a SPECIFIC diet that grows only in the present day Amazon jungle? To name but ONE animal, of course, of the countless animals spread throughout the world unique to their environments and land masses...of which had not even been discovered by anyone in the Judaic-Christian religion.

There has been constant, heavy, sustained rain recorded in Hawaii for over 240 days. The WORLD was flooded in 40 days per the Bible. Do the math. The VOLUME of water required to fall from the sky, and cover the entire planet, would have drown all air breathing creatures due to the amount of vapor in the air. The Water Cycle as we understand it today prohibits the formation of clouds capable of such volume of water. Period. And ultimately, where did this water go?

And rainbows. Bible says God made Rainbows as a covenant to mankind to spare us all again from water genocide. So did sunlight NOT refract through water droplets in the atmosphere BEFORE Noah's Flood?

And fish...a flood would leave many fish alive so why require the deaths of all life? Why did all the Sparrows have to die but God spared the Tetra or the Beta Fish?

That is my opening salvo. I have many more but not the patience to continue typing them! If you could explain any of these would be start..noone has.

[msongs]

8. well it was all god's will. that's the easy out answer for all criticism and questions nt

[Plucketeer]

10. Exactly what I was going to offer.

The Gods Will card trumps any other hand!

[hedda_foil]

12. Of COURSE it's impossible for puny/evil/man. (Women don't count, after all.)

That's why it's a miracle. The Lord Gawd did it.

[jberryhill]

13. ...Thus proving it was a miracle!

None of the things you state, correctly, would be possible without the miraculous intervention of God.

Therefore, your objections prove the existence of God and His miraculous powers.

[JHB]

15. I think I did that calculation back in college...

IIRC, it worked out to something like a downward pointing firehose at full blast. Everywhere. Nonstop. For weeks.

But there is no evidence of a worldwide flood.

[LongTomH]

23. You'd need a huge staff just to shovel the shit!

[3catwoman3]

28. Those who believe this "story" actually happened...

..are shoveling some shit of their own - the bull shit variety.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

11. There is ZERO evidence of a world-wide flood.

[pffshht]

16. Your idea of "evidence" and Bible people's idea of "evidence" are very different things.

Unfortunately, their vote is worth as much as yours, and they actually outnumber rational people in this country.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

17. When Adlai Stevenson ran for president he was told "Every thinking person will vote for you."...

He replied, "That'll do me no good. I need a majority."

[tclambert]

14. Why is he interviewing Walter White?

[Enthusiast]

19. Convoluted reasoning.

Sad, really.

[VWolf]

20. Here's what's sad:

We're having this debate in TWO THOUSAND FUCKING FOURTEEN!!!

I truly weep for my country.

[Enthusiast]

21. I have relatives

that would hate me for life if I said that the Noah's Ark story was untrue. They are professed Christians of course.

I think they sort of suspect I am a non-believer. This is difficult for me because I love geology, paleontology and science in general. I was captivated by dinosaurs clear back in the 1950s as a little child.

What can we do about these zealots? They drag down the nation's collective intellect.

[VWolf]

22. Sometimes I wish there really was a god

and this god came down from (wherever) and said:

"WTF is wrong with you people? The bible is a collection of stories, written by humans! How the HELL can you take it literally???"

Of course, the true believers wouldn't believe it was god speaking to them.

[CANDO]

24. They flip when you tell them the Bible was written by humans.

Seriously. "But the words were inspired by God." So says humans. Circular argument at this point and time to bang my head against a wall.

[malokvale77]

26. Best thing I can say....

David was polite to the charlatan.

[3catwoman3]

29. I would like someone with fundamental beliefs...

...to try explaining how Adam and Eve gave rise to the entire human race without Eve committing incest with her sons, and Adam being similarly guilty of the same with any daughters/granddaughters there would have been. Biologically IMPOSSIBLE!

One of the schools in our son's athletic college conference is a very fundamental Christian school (Wheaton College in IL. famous for suing over the ACA's requirement to cover contraception, not relazing, just like Hobby Lobby, that their insurance plan already covered it) that states right on their home page that they believe the Adam and Eve story -

WE BELIEVE that God directly created Adam and Eve, the historical parents of the entire human race; and that they were created in His own image, distinct from all other living creatures, and in a state of original righteousness.

They offer majors in health sciences, biology, and nursing. As a nurse myself, I would love to sit in on some of these classes and see how they answer my above question.