Violence against women... It's a men's issue

[handmade34]

Jackson Katz, male activist, TED talk worth the watch...

[Veilex]

1. "Violence against women... It's a men's issue"

Umm.... no.

Violence against women is an everyone issue. Everyone needs to deal with and stop pretending like only one side can resolve the issue. Two is always more powerful than one. Two genders united in common cause will always be more powerful than a single gender attempting to accomplish something.

[Triana]

4. What he said was that most violence is perpetrated by men ...

....even when men are the victims, it's usually (not always) another man doing it. Since most violence against women and men is done by men (again not all of it, but most of it) - then it is incumbent on men to - within their own social groups - to initiate change within their gender.

Does violence against women affect everyone? Yes. Is it therefore an 'everyone' issue that requires a coordinated effort among all to reduce? Yes. But that doesn't change the fact that - like it or not - most of it is perpetrated by men and therefore a good deal of societal/attitudinal/cultural change in regards to it must come from - men ie: within their social circles.

[Veilex]

11. You hit on the key, perhaps without even knowing it...

There is no question as to where the majority of violence comes from.
But then, that's not at question... what is at question is how do you fix it? Well, if you buy into the utter BS that all men should just man-up and instantly change...you're part of the problem. Unless you were just born within the last few years, you've probably noticed society has a way of influencing change... things tend to go where the majority of society goes. Point of example: homosexuality was, at one point in time, considered aberrant behavior. That is in the process of changing. Not because those who are part of the LGBT community went out and tried to get change done on their own, but because they had the support of communities. Friends, family, loved ones all accepted them for who they are, and joined them in demanding of others that their rights be respected as is appropriate. Homophobes are a dyeing breed thanks to that growing community.

The issue of violence against women MUST be treated the same way. The community must address it... men can't do it alone. Women cant do it alone. Change must be encouraged and nurtured into existence. It must be supported. It must be done through communal effort. Recent history bears this out. It must be done through the community...
Else, it wont be done at all.

[seabeyond]

9. well, at least you made it one step away from putting the violence against a woman solely on a woman

[Veilex]

12. ...

Initially, I was offended by your comment... but instead of being irritated by your comment, I've chosen to believe you didn't bother to read my full comment. I suppose you would be one of the "Man up and fix your drek" mentality? If you are, I'll tell you the same thing I told Triana; The community must address the issue... men can't do it alone. Women can't do it alone. Change must be encouraged and nurtured into existence. It must be supported. It must be done through communal effort. Recent history bears this out. It must be done through the community... else, it wont be done at all.

[seabeyond]

13. And that is not the point the man in video is making or even the conversation

Violence against women is done by men and is a man issue that simple. Nowhere did he say women and society as a whole should step away and insist only men address, deal with, resolve the issue. Violence against women is a man issue. Always before it has been considered a woman's issue. Look it up in an academic book and it will be under women's issue. That is the point. That is what I am clarifying for you.

[Veilex]

14. "that is not the point the man in video is making"...

Your a little off on the point the video... I'll clarify:
The point he makes within the first few minutes is that he thinks its a men's issue. I admit, I heard that, rolled my eyes, and turned off the video... cause frankly, that is a point-blank "It's your problem, you fix it" statement. After your reply, I went back and watched it all the way through... and his overall point is close to the point I made earlier. I said the community must be involved... he was more particular...he said leaders of both genders need to be involved. I disagree. I think everyone, leaders and otherwise, need to be involved.

However, I also think his earlier statement that it was "a man's issue" is flat out wrong and frankly shouldn't have been said at all. This not to say that men don't bear a responsibility to address these issues when they arise... they do... but not JUST them... Everyone does. Calling it "a man's issue" implies that men need to address the problem alone.

My problem with the video was literally just that one line. It was enough to make me turn it off... and I tend to like TED talks.
I agreed with everything else he said.

[seabeyond]

15. i disagree. it has sat as a womans issue forever. it is being handed off as a mans issue, where it

should squarely sit.

and that is no way saying i and other women are not going to be a part of the change.

[Veilex]

17. Ahhhh..."it has sat as a womans issue forever"

You've tipped your hand and exposed your motivations...this is a revenge or recompense issue for you.
In that case, our conversation is over, as I see you are part of the problem... not the solution.
I'm sure you'll disagree, and that's fine.
We'll just have to agree to disagree.

[seabeyond]

18. "revenge or recompense issue for you." without reading further you tipped you hand

no. it is not. reality based. i like reality. fact. that is the issue for me.

presenting it as a womens issue is incorrect. untrue. a lie. false.

it is a mans issue. that is the truth, the fact. honest.

once we can get to the position of honesty, we can then actually address the issue. find solution. be productive and THAT my man... is tipping all of my hand to you

[Veilex]

19. "presenting it as a women's issue is incorrect"

With that line, you're just proving my point for me. Take a glance at my prior posts. Take as much time as you need.
You'll note not a single one isolates women and says its a woman's issue. Not a single one. In fact, tell you what, feel free to check any and all of the posts I've ever made here. You'll find I'm very big on fairness and equality, and that I myself am a feminist.

So, when you say things like "presenting it as a women's issue is incorrect" when I've neither said nor inferred such a thing, it become exceedingly easy to see your personal bias.

You claim to like reality. I would argue that your version of reality is a little skewed

As a side note, adding additional language such as "my man" is sexism. I'm not your man. Nor do you have a right to refer to me in that disrespectful manner anymore than a man has a right to call a woman "baby" or any other pet name. You'd probably think its okay to say "my man"... you probably don't think anything of it... but the reality is that it is a form of possession based itemization. I don't belong to you or anyone else... I belong to me. I should probably state at this point, I'm not angry, I'm just making sure you understand where I'm coming from. Possession based itemization is not okay, regardless of what gender its aimed at.

[seabeyond]

20. you can spin, twist and twirl. i do not care. i am walking a direct line here. just makes life

a hell of a lot easier.

i really do not care what you have to say about it a single bit more. i really do not.

i have put out clearly, what i have to say

i am so sure i will see you in later du life.

[Veilex]

21. I see you are indeed part of the problem...

You've closed your mind off to anything that doesn't fit your assumed diatribe.
Its unfortunately really. But, you've made your choice... and so, now I must make one of my own.
Since we plainly don't see eye to eye, in order to forestall any future debates... which would most likely be fruitless, I'll be adding you to my ignore list.

Nothing personal.

Have a nice day.

[seabeyond]

22. diatribe? part of the problem? no. i adamently disagree with you. nt

[seabeyond]

23. btw... take note how every one of your posts to me are mixed with insults. stick to the actual

subject instead of spending so much time insulting those that do not agree.

[shanemcg]

2. Thanks for this. I will quit beating women now.

Of course I never have and don't beat women. Seriously, isn't this like preaching to the choir?

Tide comes in, tide goes out. You can't explain that. I wish TED would address that.

[Triana]

5. Since most violence against women and men is perpetrated BY men...

..NO. It's not "preaching to the choir"

It's preaching to the perps. Novel idea - rather than the usual 'blame the victim' mentality we typically operate under here in the good old US of Misogynist Arse.

[seabeyond]

8. seriously? you walk in making a joke about violence toward women? seriously

[niyad]

16. please tell me you forgot the sarcasm icon, because you cannot possibly be serious.

[Triana]

3. I have some books by this guy. Highly recommended. n/t

[seabeyond]

7. this man is excellent. and he shows how it really is easy. just not a tough one. thanks. nt

[intaglio]

10. K&R