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SheilaT

(23,156 posts)
1. "I've known since you were a little boy that you were gay"
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 11:29 AM
Aug 2014

A bit later: "Since you made that choice . . . ."

Someone needs to ask her exactly how she supposes a very young child, presumable being raised in a very heterosexual environment, could possibly choose to be gay.

And what a totally broken relationship those two have. It's truly sad.

Nobel_Twaddle_III

(323 posts)
14. I agree with you mostly, but there is a third choice the parents expect.
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 08:04 PM
Aug 2014

That is to deny his own sexuality, and follow Christ, as they define it.
At 20 years old this young man is capable of finding his own way in the world.
It is a sad sad situation that any person should be forced to go thru this, but we live with truly ignorant people around us. It is better now than it was even 15 years ago. And it is better in this country then many others.
The only advice I have for young men and woman in these situations is. The family wants to live in denial, so let them. Get an education and move on with your life, then if they love you, they can follow when they are ready.

 

SheilaT

(23,156 posts)
15. What I get stuck on
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 11:26 PM
Aug 2014

is how they said they knew it from very early on, and then say it was a choice. I do get how believers like this think, as totally wrong as I think they are. The emotional pain on the son's part is so clear, and is so hard to listen to. I did not have the best relationship with my own mother, but it was a more basic case of rubbing each other the wrong way, not her totally rejecting me for the person I am, as is going on here.

And yes, I agree the best advice to people like this young man is to leave and have his own life.

Nobel_Twaddle_III

(323 posts)
16. When “the church” is your base …. Things are different.
Fri Aug 29, 2014, 01:09 AM
Aug 2014

I have listened to this several times.
Dad expresses if total rejection verbally.

Mother totally loses it. She is more concerned about how she will appear to the other church women. Therefor her reputation and standing in the church is more important to her then her son. It is not a matter of "I have all ways known", but I have been waiting for you to betray me for years. She will not love him until later in life when she needs him. She whines about having fed and clothed this child. She is very self-centered. (You were not strong enough to bear this burden silently. You have failed me.) She is the one who resorts to violence. It is all about her standing in her community.

I am no expert but I have finished raising a few boys over the years. This boy is deeply hurt. We know he is strong though, because he calls her out. I am you son and I cannot live in the basement !!!!!

It is that drives her to violence.

He is stronger than her, he will eventually control the relationship.

 

SheilaT

(23,156 posts)
17. Sadly, I think she will never love him.
Fri Aug 29, 2014, 01:45 AM
Aug 2014

She may need him someday, but she will still never love him.

And I agree, that when your church matters more to you than loving your son, this is what can happen.

I cannot imagine being so totally rejecting of what your child is. Oh, I could make a dumb joke about if my kid became a conservative Republican, but even then I would not be so hateful. I'd question, and argue and try to persuade my kid otherwise, and the worst I hope I would do would be to declare all political discussions off limits, but I'd NEVER reject my child this way.

valerief

(53,235 posts)
2. Christian values in action. So sad. But I must say that at 3:15 in the OP
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 11:34 AM
Aug 2014

the woman yelling sounds just like Mama.

navarth

(5,927 posts)
3. Pity the poor kid whose parents are morons.
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 11:39 AM
Aug 2014

That has to be pure hell.

There is ONLY ONE QUESTION TO ASK THAT BOY:

"Son, are you happy? Then I'm happy."

reflection

(6,286 posts)
5. "yew can go by all the scientific stuff yew want to, I'll go by the Word of Gawd"
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 11:49 AM
Aug 2014

The conversation was over then. He was wasting his time after that. Good luck, young man.

Laughing Mirror

(4,185 posts)
7. The Word of Gawd
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 01:26 PM
Aug 2014

"... you're a queer, a fuckin' queer ... a little piece of shit ... I'll beat yer fuckin' ass ..."

Some God you've got Mom and Dad.

TimeToEvolve

(303 posts)
9. sometimes i see my own parents in these religious nitwits
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 01:54 PM
Aug 2014

'I have faith" or some similar meaningless tripe. "faith" or "god" is just a tool used to rationalize an untenable position or anything contradicted by the observable reality; it allows them to place the crux of their argument beyond investigation or testing, they just hate gays because they just hate gays; giving a minor to shelter (even a gay one) is something that Christ might do.
people on this set seem to think that ignorance > knowledge.

i DO NOT hate any of these people, I, in fact, pity them for being hermetically sealed in their own delusion.

reflection

(6,286 posts)
11. Yes.
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 02:23 PM
Aug 2014

Conservatives (who think they have a monopoly on morality) are quick to assign their morals to a non-accountable being, so that they are not burdened with the duty of handling it themselves. As much as they crow about 'personal responsibility', they hide from the ultimate personal responsibility: being responsible for your own ethics and judgment.

AtheistCrusader

(33,982 posts)
6. That was hard to listen to.
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 12:27 PM
Aug 2014

Fucking hell.

My father disowned me once for an entirely different reason, he was in dependency withdrawals, and I refused to cut his hospital bed restraints. What this kid just went through was thousand times worse. At the least, my father was physically incapable of getting up and attacking me. And that still hurt. This...

Three on one. Physical assault. The emotional betrayal.

Fuck

20score

(4,769 posts)
8. Not always, but sometimes, stupidity and being a terrible human being go hand-in-hand.
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 01:37 PM
Aug 2014

This is one of those times.

Cracklin Charlie

(12,904 posts)
10. My favorite part of that video...
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 02:22 PM
Aug 2014

Hearing that kid stand up for himself, and not backing down to their physical and emotional abuse. Good job, Daniel (I think it was Daniel).

But I've got a question.

Even if sexuality is a choice (and I really don't think that it is); but, even if it were a choice...why doesn't Daniel get to make that choice for himself? I get to choose who I sleep with.

If that is their logic, why is it necessarily worse for Daniel to choose to have sex with a man, than it is for his mother to choose to have sex with an asshole?

These people have so many hang-ups, I am surprised they're able to make it through the day. I would say to my gay, and not gay, friends or family...choice or nature, sleep with whoever makes you happy...I don't care. But that person better treat you right, or they will have me to deal with.

Half-Century Man

(5,279 posts)
13. Daniel seems pretty fucking manly to me.
Thu Aug 28, 2014, 03:38 PM
Aug 2014

According to the definition of what it is to be a man that my Father shared with me when I enlisted.

IF
by Rudyard Kipling




IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
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