It Broke Her Heart Seeing Her Daughter's Facebook Page, Asking For Someone To Please Be Her Friend

[Omaha Steve]

http://www.upworthy.com/it-broke-her-heart-seeing-her-daughters-facebook-page-asking-for-someone-to-please-be-her-friend?c=upw1

Curated by Darcie Conway
This young woman is now using her story in the most positive way possible. Both mom and daughter speak publicly in schools and other venues so that other young people won't make the same tragic mistake. She's making a difference.

Published on Apr 25, 2014
This is the story of how my daughter Liz's car accident from texting while driving has changed our lives forever. If you get a text, don't look at it while you're driving. It's not worth it.

[abelenkpe]

1. Cars should automatically block texts

While in motion. They can already stop one from dialing or using gps.

[Quixote1818]

2. I agree. nt

[eggplant]

3. Sure, except for that pesky texting passenger problem.

And devices that read your texts out loud. And any of a myriad of other reasons why this isn't a technical problem to solve.

Solutions like this simply won't work, any more than installing Breathalyzers in car ignitions, or requiring seat belts be connected before the car will run.

Fixing societal behavior problems with half-assed technical "solutions" simply doesn't work.

[Plucketeer]

8. I don't text

And I'd like to keep on living. When do MY rights figure in? Isn't it illegal to drive the wrong way on a one way street??? Another wrong way to drive is while distracted - in fact, it's probably WORSE than driving the wrong way on a one way street. Let me assure you that in ALL of my seven decades on earth, NO phone call or message was SO important that it couldn't wait for me to stop the vehicle to check it out (or find a pay phone - imagine what a PITA it was to have to find a phone to communicate with! Oh the horrors!)

Look at this gal's face - and realize she's lucky. Then tell me about the poor, oppressed passenger in your vehicle who can't trade tripe with their significant other.

[jeff47]

12. The thing is you're not solving the problem.

The problem is distracted driving. Not texting specifically, but the distraction it creates. It doesn't really matter where the distraction comes from.

And passengers talking to the driver can be great at distracting that driver. We gonna mandate taping their mouths shut or mandate soundproof driver compartments?

[Plucketeer]

16. Aw c'mon

Crap - I can get distracted any number of ways while driving. but believe it or not, I can keep my eyes ON the road while listening to a passenger or the radio. But IF any passengers wanna get to where we're going (instead of a quick trip to the Emergency Room), they should understand the smartphone ban while the ignition is on - or while the vehicle's in anything but PARK.

[jeff47]

17. Again, it doesn't matter where the distraction comes from.

So shut off their phones. They are still a source of distraction. "Hey, look at this!!". Or "Hey, I want to talk about our relationship".

And that's just people in the car. There's plenty of other distractions your ban on smartphones doesn't address.

Instead of doing something that makes you feel good, we should do something that actually addresses the problem - teach people about the danger of distracted driving instead of putting in a cell phone jammer.

[Plucketeer]

21. Right...

Yeah, I understand the mine trumps yours baloney. Again - look at the gal at the top of this thread. Tell me she was destined to end up like that no matter what. Just because you text and drive doesn't mean we should all take to public transportation. I'd bet ANYTHING, this young gal and the many folks that end up like her (or worse!) HAVE heard of the dangers of "distracted" driving. So how would YOU have impressed her to leave her phone in her purse - or would you again drone on about being distracted by anything within her sensory ranges?

[jeff47]

37. I don't text and drive. But I don't care if my passengers do.

Over-broad solutions to problems that have more direct fixes is not a good thing. Whether it's texting and driving, or terrorism.

So how would YOU have impressed her to leave her phone in her purse

Require her driver's ed classes to include a virtual driving simulation. And have it ram a school bus into her whenever she looked away from the screen - and text her repeatedly during it. And have someone like this woman who did not learn the lesson talk to them during the class.

Then add very large penalties, including a court order banning all cell phone use for 30 days if you get a ticket for distracted driving. Penalty goes up on subsequent offenses, including jail time. (Cell phone company required to report any usage of that phone number during the ban)

[Plucketeer]

40. Oh yeah!

HEAVEN FORBID your passengers are denied their 24/7 lifeline. What WOULD they do??? Look out at the passing scenery? LOL. Yeah, we need to enlist phone companies cause no one would ever use someone else's phone.

I'm here every day. Please alert me when these "common sense" encouragements come to the fore.

[jeff47]

51. Try reading more than the subject of a post.

Last edited Sat Nov 1, 2014, 05:28 PM - Edit history (1)

Might look a little less silly when you claim who wants to install an easy-to-unplug jammer is the "tough" solution. While me wanting to throw them in prison is the person who doesn't want to protect a sacred right to text.

[Plucketeer]

52. WHO are you responding to???

You need to get a grip on which post(s) you're responding to. Sheesh!

[jeff47]

58. You're claiming I'm blindly protecting the right to text.

and doing so in such a way that implies I don't want the tough anti-texting solution of jamming the cell phones.

If you'd bother to read the post before replying, you might note that my solution 1) isn't trivial to circumvent like yours, and 2) results in a lot more pain if you break the rule.

[Plucketeer]

60. Go away

Semantics - parsing - not games I'm amused with. You're not gonna win me over to your Rube Goldberg schemes, so why persist? If I get to have a say about blocking cellphone/computer communications in vehicles, trust that I'll do so. You can do whatever your conscience can live with and I promise not to care. End of discussion.

[valerief]

20. What a joker you are!!! nt

[PatrynXX]

32. I never text while driving

thats insane. like having talk radio on. X_X

phone calls very rare and if it's in my pocket no! I'll let airwolf go on sense I like the music phones there so I can call out not answer.

[Plucketeer]

35. IF.....

it's convenient, I'll pull over or into a parking lot to answer. We live in a rural area and we do see some wisdom in calling the other of us if we suddenly realize we're in need of something. It makes sense cost-wise and ecology-wise.
The other respondent here insists if we just "encourage" folks to do right, we won't have to legislate. Un-huh!

Armed robberies happen daily, and folks - perpetrators and bystanders both - are harmed or killed. Parents, partners, public schools, police and laws encourage against robberies all the time and STILL the robberies continue. Just how much encouragement is needed to dissuade these harmful and dangerous acts???

[Veilex]

10. "except for that pesky texting passenger problem"

Eliminate the passenger being able to text and problem solved!!! Then weird things like in-person communication might happen. Might even become trendy!!!

[jeff47]

11. And that would cause accidents

The problem is distracted drivers. Doesn't matter if the distraction is texting or the passengers.

[Veilex]

24. Correction: Drivers who are distracted and take their eyes off the road cause accidents.

People have been talking to each other in cars for ages... and texting is far more accident causing than talking with a passenger... so much so, that comparing the two is more than a little silly. The moral of the story? Don't take your eyes off the road and you wont have the problem.

[jeff47]

36. Yeah, it's not like there's something like a radio in a car

or any other eyes-off-the-road device. And it's utterly impossible for passengers to say "Hey, look at this!"

Passengers who know how to drive tend to shut up when they see potentially dangerous situations.
Passengers who don't know how to drive don't.

That tends to make talking to a passenger less dangerous than talking on a hands-free cell phone. But not by much.

[Veilex]

43. The problem with your argument is ...

You're trying to draw a parallel between being distracted by a cell phone and other potential distractions.
While, yes, all distracted driving situations should be addressed, it is natural to go after the biggest culprits first... and right now, that's cell phones. Texting often requires both hands... so not only are you taking your eyes off the road, but you're hands are trying to do double duty...or worse, not on the wheel at all. Some outliers can text with one hand...and some skip texting all together in favor of hands-free devices.

There are tons of scholarly articles regarding the topic of how big of a distraction cell phones have becomes...even a few that compare cell-phones to other types of distractions (link at bottom). They point unequivocally to the fact that cell-phone usage while driving is one of the most distracting and dangerous things you can do while driving... add to that, the fact that the vast majority of US citizens own a cell phone, and the issue quickly sky-rockets in severity of issue... particularly in comparison to the rare person who doesn't know better than to distract a driver with a "Hey, look at this!" comment, or those situations where a person doesn't already have a chosen radio station set or cd playing.

Can those and other distractions be dangerous while driving? Absolutely! And they should be mitigated as much as reasonably possible. Do they come even close to the danger cause caused by cell phone use while driving? Not remotely... unless, of course, you're one of those people who need to define what the word "is" is.

http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=texting+versus+other+distractions&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart&sa=X&ei=OgZUVKv-H4vkoASpzYLIDg&ved=0CBsQgQMwAA

[jeff47]

50. Cell phone use is not texting.

Texting does have it's own issues, but you can't lump all cell phone use into a single anti-texting problem.

The problem with talking on a cell phone vs. talking to a passenger is, as I mentioned above, a passenger tends to shut up when a dangerous situation arises. The person on the cell phone doesn't know.

Can those and other distractions be dangerous while driving? Absolutely! And they should be mitigated as much as reasonably possible. Do they come even close to the danger cause caused by cell phone use while driving?

And when we invent the next new thing that's even more distracting? Oh no! Our required anti-texting jammer didn't handle videoconferencing via wearable computer!

I want a general anti-distracted-driving fix because it handles texting, as well as everything else. I want laws like you get a ticket for distracted driving because of texting while driving, then you can't use a cell phone at all for 30 days (written as can't use the distracting device to cover new technologies). And the phone company will be reporting any calls or texts to the court. If there's anything not to 911, the penalties quickly get much more severe, such as jail time.

Instead of handling today's problem with a trival-to-circumvent solution (the jammer's gonna be pretty damn easy to unplug), let's try to fix today's and tomorrow's problems.

[Veilex]

53. Cell phone use includes texting.

"Instead of handling today's problem with a trival-to-circumvent solution (the jammer's gonna be pretty damn easy to unplug), let's try to fix today's and tomorrow's problems." You will NEVER account for every way a person can circumvent your attempts to control them... trivial or otherwise.

You'll have a very tough time getting cell-phone companies to agree with becoming an arm of law-enforcement. Even if it were possible that they could be convinced, you'd have a very hard time not inciting an uprising against the idea from every cell phone owner who doesn't want corporations, the government, or any other form of big brother snooping into their personal affairs.

At least with a device that prevents cell phones from working while the car is on, they'd get to maintain privacy.

[jeff47]

57. You might want to utterly rethink that second paragraph

You'll have a very tough time getting cell-phone companies to agree with becoming an arm of law-enforcement.

Really.

Have you just come out of a long-term coma? Are you unaware of what the NSA spying scandal actually was? Just in case either are true, it was the phone companies turning over call records to the NSA. Of everyone in the US.

So no, it's actually really damn trivial to make the phone companies "an arm of law-enforcement". It's called a court order, most commonly in the form of a subpoena. You get banned for 30 days, and the court orders the phone company send over your call records for those 30 days on day 31.

If you think your phone company doesn't have a record of every single phone call or text, then you have never looked at your phone bill. Or any phone bill. Or have watched a detective show or movie or read a detective story in the last 40 years.

At least with a device that prevents cell phones from working while the car is on, they'd get to maintain privacy.

And it has the added benefit of jamming anyone near your car. And makes cell phones utterly useless near any street with significant traffic. And if you want your car to not do it, it's very easy to unplug. If you want to screw with other people, it's also very easy to hook it up to a stronger antenna.

Oh, it'll also destroy your phone's battery life if you forget to turn your phone off - the phone will crank up its radio to try and reach the towers, which means it'll use lots more power.

So introducing a jammer might have a few more negative side effects than using the records the phone company already collects and shows you they collect it on your bill every month.

[Veilex]

59. Yes, really.

"Have you just come out of a long-term coma? Are you unaware of what the NSA spying scandal actually was? Just in case either are true, it was the phone companies turning over call records to the NSA. Of everyone in the US." - I think you're the one having selective memory. You do understand that all the telecoms were coerced into giving up that information right? That's quite a ways away from being an arm of law-enforcement. I'd know... I served in a law enforcement capacity. And allow me to be the first to inform you that court subpoenas are no where near as trivial as all your lovely detective shows, movies and stories tell you. They are quite involved, and frequently get shot down.

As to the records kept by the telecoms, I'm quite well aware of the information they keep. I've also been employed as a CSR and Tech support for a major telecom. Fun fact for you; back around 2004, the government mandated GPS be installed in all new phones. So now, you can be tracked anywhere you have a cell signal and a powered phone.

"And it has the added benefit of jamming anyone near your car. And makes cell phones utterly useless near any street with significant traffic. And..." - Oh gosh, you're right...its just too hard to get it to work... lets just give up on the idea. In fact, while we're at it, lets give up on Women's rights too... after all, we know that the top 1% and the GOP will never give in to the will of the people. They'll just keep fighting us and finding other ways to undermine women. While we're at it, lets give up on voting too. The Koch brothers have made it too hard to fight back... it requires so much effort. That, combined with all the corrupt politicians taking back-room bribes, and gerrymandering and voter suppression, why... we'll never be able to beat them back. Right? I mean, that's the style of logic you're using.

I reject your notion that we couldn't make cell blockers viable. It would take trivial effort to localize a blocker to the cabin of a car... and to attach it to the computer in nearly all modern cars... and to make that computer prevent the car from starting through a simple single string of code to see if the cell blocker was functioning as intended or if it has been tampered with. It would be trivial for the telecoms to add to their phone's software a routine that decreased the frequency of attempted connection to a cell tower based on the number of failed attempts... coupled with a wake-up routine that would allow the phone to immediately attempt reconnection if a complete phone number was entered followed by the call/send option.

We don't give up on ideas because they might not work the first time through... or that they may have unforeseen issues. We iterate on ideas until they work as intended. The solutions to having localized jammers in a car are trivial.
What is not trivial, is the will to do it.

[eggplant]

4. Oh, and using GPS is perfectly legal.

Even in places where texting isn't.

[rhett o rick]

9. As is plucking eyebrows. nm

[abelenkpe]

15. Of course it's legal

But the car won't let one enter an address if the vehicle is moving. If you set it up before you start it's fine. Both of the cars I have owned in the past five years operated that way.

[Travis_0004]

5. So I cant text when Im a passenger?

[ohnoyoudidnt]

13. It looks like some would want that.

So any passenger in a car, taxi, bus, subway, train would be unable to text. I don't think this is a reasonable measure.

[Plucketeer]

18. LOL!

Take it from a veteran of those pre-hist-horrific days when the only phones were at truck stops and gas stations - humans CAN SURVIVE not being "connected" 24/7! I would not lie to you. In fact, even tho I have a cellphone at hand for half of every day, I don't go into withdrawal when I surrender it to the charger in the evening. I know - it's gotta be tough to believe.

[Skittles]

25. I'm actually wondering if some of these idiots COULD survive

they're just LOST without their f***ing handhelds

[Plucketeer]

34. We really ARE becoming a Zombie Nation

Just observe any sidewalk or mall. Wife and I were at a restaurant yesterday. There were two couples at a table across the way - all of them at least over 50. While the wife and I chatted occasionally, these four were glued mindlessly, to their "smart" phones.

[Frank Cannon]

27. My friend was almost killed by a texting driver.

He spent nearly a year in physical therapy and is still messed up.

Fuck all these clowns. In the entire time I've had a cell phone, I think I've had maybe two complaints about my not picking up a call or text while driving, and both times I've told the caller/texter to kiss my ass.

[maddiemom]

41. Most of us over forty can relate to surviving without a cellphone at hand every minute.

Even my daughter, well into her thirties and having had cell phones for twenty years or more, feels no identity with the younger generation's obsession. Over many years of teaching, I can't remember having to confiscate any item in class more than cell phones (returned at the end of the day, of course) in recent years. Having a phone handy for emergencies is a blessing for the adults of whatever age among us. For the kids, not so much.

[ohnoyoudidnt]

44. Lie like me?

What lie are you accusing me of?

[Plucketeer]

49. This is not Play Station.

Dear game-player. Please elaborate just which of my words in post #18 called you or inferred that you're a liar? But wait a minute! You saying that I called you a liar - qualifies you as what???

But be aware I don't intend to reply further. I have better things to do than spar at silly-fied, superfluous semantics.

[ohnoyoudidnt]

54. Fine don't respond, but you clearly said "lie like me"

In a response to my post. I can understand you refusing to respond sine I told no lie and you have no defense for that accusation. We may disagree on this issue, but I am not a liar.

[Plucketeer]

19. BTW

I'm thinkin' it must be tough for folks born with a cellphone in one hand - to watch movies about the days before there was any mobile phones of any sort. They gotta be thinkin' "Man! How did those souls ever survive with nothin' but those clunky things tied to walls???"

[ohnoyoudidnt]

22. I am cautous of making laws that affect a lot of people because a minority

of those people use poor judgement. A previous poster mentioned breathalizers in cars. Should we make all cars with breathalizer tests before you can start them because some people choose to drive drunk? I think the best course of action is to encourage people to use better judgement when behind the wheel. Yes, people can survive without the convenience of using their smartphone while being a passenger. I'm sure you could survive if you had to take a breathalizer every time you started your car. Do you support both?

[Plucketeer]

33. "encourage people to use better judgement"

Wha - HEY!!! What a Eureka moment. All we have to do is >encourage< folks to think before they endanger themselves or others. Yeah - that approach already works SO WELL.
There are SO MANY possibilities for this strategy. Just tell folks to do right and they will. LOL! Next time I'm at a stoplight and see someone poking at their phone or talking to it, I'll just honk my horn and motion for them to lower their window so I can afford them some encouragement. I'll hope I only get some angry blowback instead of them drawing out their Ruger or jack handle to thank me for my whizdumb.

We should also share this nugget with various religious leaders. If they'd give regular dissertations about doing right, think what a better place this world would be. Yessir!

[ohnoyoudidnt]

45. Increasing public awareness can make a difference. You also didn't answer my question.

Do you also support breathalizers in every car?

It is a simple question. Why ignore it?

[Plucketeer]

48. "Do you also support breathalizers in every car?"

YES. Now show me the err of my ways while I round up some statistics and anecdotes about drunk driving results. BTW - look me up after you've been slammed by a texting driver and tell me how much pity you have for them or maybe the innocent passenger who held up his smart phone so the driver could see it and said "Hey! This is funny! Look!"

[ohnoyoudidnt]

55. I have had a car totalled by a texting driver.

And I still disagree with such measures. This is the 21st century. Welcome to it. A lot of people need email and internet access while they are in motion and passengers for business purposes. Banning texting and Internet access while in motion is an extreme measure. If you want to treat texting while driving as severely as a DUI, then I have no problem with that, but there has to be a better solution than the blanket policy of blocking all phones from access just because they are moving.

[Plucketeer]

56. "This is the 21st century. Welcome to it."

Right. I think your argument indicates you were born in this century. I see you said you had a car totaled. But you didn't say you were injured. I'm sorry - I don't believe your "story". After the accident, did you apologize to the texting driver for interrupting his communiques? LOL. Your righteousness just does not have wings. In fact, I doubt it even has an egg tooth.

[maddiemom]

42. I remarked to a friend while watching a spooky movie last night: "Notice how in the last two

decades, there always has to be a reason written in to explain why NOBODY'S CELL PHONES CAN WORK?" It's a must! No more searching for a pay phone or a neighbor's phone...back to finding your own way out of the crisis without the old (usually futile) attempts to call for help.

[BuelahWitch]

29. Would it kill you to leave your apparatus alone for a few minutes/hours?

I doubt it.

[Travis_0004]

30. No.

In fact I dont use my phone all that often. I just think its stupid to block cell phones while a in motion because a few people might abuse it.

[YOHABLO]

6. Hold the tech industry that created this responsible as well. We do it to the tobacco industry

[marym625]

7. How sad

[Kablooie]

14. Apple's iPhone 'lock-out’ patent could end texting while driving

A new technology proposed by Apple would seek to address the dangerous and ubiquitous problem of drivers who use their phone behind the wheel, according to experts.

A new patent by the technology giant could “change the culture” and help stop driver distraction with an automated system that would disable certain smartphone functions when an iPhone user is driving.

One recently published patent describes a "driver handheld computing device lock-out" system that detects when a user is driving using on-board sensors or pulling information from the car when connected, blocking the use of text messaging or using other smartphone functions from the person driving.

----

You may hate Apple as a company but they are spearheading a heck of a lot of needed technologies that no one else seems to be able to make happen.

more:

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/apr/24/apples-iphone-lock-out-patent-could-end-texting-while-driving

[mindwalker_i]

23. So I see all these here replies

All anxious about the idea of cars blocking texts, and what about the poor forgotten passenger? You know what? If cars have to block all texts in order to keep drivers FROM FUCKING KILLING PEOPLE, then the passenger can fucking deal with it!

[BuelahWitch]

28. But, but, I need to be ENTERTAINED while a passenger!

Why would you deny me my goddess given right to entertainment while a passenger in a car, you big old meany poop!

[Travis_0004]

31. why dont we also install a breathalyzer as well?

If it will just save one life. . . .

[ohnoyoudidnt]

46. I am still waiting.

So far the supporters of the textimg ban refuse to argue this point.

[Travis_0004]

47. The point is its 100% acceptable for a passenger to text

There are lots of things we could do to save lives but that doesn't mean we should do them.

I would love to see an app invented that blocks text while driving. If a parent could install it and give them another tool to help their kids, I think that makes sense.

The difference is I dont think the government needs to step in and block texting for everybody.

Edit: I didnt read your message throughly. I thought at first you were supporting the text ban. Ill leave my response up anyway and see if somebody replies.

[progressoid]

38. I will be a passenger in a 9 hour car trip next week.

I will be using my phone to conduct business on the road (calls, texts, and email). Wish I didn't have to, but I got bills to pay.

[tiptonic]

26. Party Line

Anyone remember having a 'party line' telephone? All these gizmos they sell now, are made to keep you 'cool', not improve your life. Hope the young lady, can get past this terrible part of her life. This too shall pass.

[Shankapotomus]

39. Why would she lose her friends because of this?

She hurt no one but herself...lesson learned, no?

Is the message supposed to be don't text and drive because, if you hurt no one but yourself, you still may lose your friends anyway?

Because I'm thinking the real take away here, which nobody has mentioned, is our society is disgustingly shallow.