Adoptees "Flip The Script" on National Adoption Month** (Extended Version) ** Please watch-Important

[me b zola]

Earlier I posted an abbreviated video on this subject. This video is extended and explains so much in such a short period of time. I could write a post on what each of the women in this video say, I agree to the tee with all of them and would love to expand. If only people actually wanted to hear from adoptees when speaking about adoption...

The conversations that could come from this could be numerous and insightful beyond words. Easy to break down into smaller conversations, and easy for commenter's here to jump into the conversation~you just have to be willing.

[me b zola]

1. Okay, I'll begin the conversation. "Gotcha day"~what a horrible thing to say let alone celebrate

The woman in the video explains how the phrase turns children into objects. When I hear this phrase I also think of trickery or deceit, like when someone pulls a prank on you, GOTCHA!

Decades before the adoption industry created the concept of "gotcha day" my adoptive mother twice when I was a little girl, asked me if I would be willing to "celebrate" my birthday on the day that my adoption was finalized rather than on the day that I was born. I cannot begin to tell you how much this hurt. It felt as though she was attempting to remove me from the little girl that she adopted.

I hope that those reading this will allow themselves to consider what I have written, and what so many other adoptees feel about this subject.

[StevieM]

4. It amazes me that kids are forced to take part in Gotcha Day before they are of an age when they can

Last edited Fri Jan 9, 2015, 03:54 PM - Edit history (1)

truly grant consent. It's just one more example of coercion.

And none of these parents seem to grasp that they are creating a day to celebrate the fact that the children were separated from their natural families. I'm not saying that there can't be days to celebrate on. But that is what Mother's Day, Father's Day and the kid's birthday are for.

I can't believe that your a-mom tried to convince you to give up your birthday. That must have been hard on you.

[me b zola]

5. Thank you, Stevie. It was incredibly confusing and painful

But it also informed me that something was not right with the whole adoption thing. Today I see posts from adoptive mom's taking drugs so that they can breast feed their adoptive child. If only others could understand how truly sick this is, it strikes me as molestation with a side of sociopath.

If adoptees were treated with human dignity we would be allowed to keep our own names and family history. This would force adoptive parents to understand that we are not their pets or objects. I really liked my adoptive mother, but her jealousy over my biology and natural family prevented me from bonding with her until very late in her life. If only they knew the tight-rope walk that adoptees are forced to walk. I didn't sign up for it. I would like to think that adoptive parents who do sign up for it would be willing to meet our needs and understand that their needs are not necessarily in our best interest.

[me b zola]

2. Amanda's words are so powerful and should cause each and every one of you to question

~question what you *think* you know about adoption.

That nasty "grateful" comment has appeared here on DU in response to one of my posts on adoptees. Really, you don't need a post graduate degree in psychology to understand how you are telling an adoptee than they are less than when you say such a thing. Amanda spoke with such grace about such a disgraceful subject that I feel I would only undermine the message by attempting to speak about it much. So I will just riff on her words: Are you grateful that YOUR mother did not abort you or put you in a dumpster?

My mother was forced to relinquish me. She neither wanted to abort nor put me in a dumpster, she wanted to parent me.

[me b zola]

3. Aselefech speaks about her name and rips open adopters jealousy

If adoption is *****supposed**** to be about adoptees, you know, children who need homes, then sweet Jesus what is it with adopters hating our biology and our connection to it. Such abuse she was met with when it was a time of celebration for her.