Stephen Colbert - Monologue and Opening - 2/11/19

[Rhiannon12866]

Here's How Trump Spends 60% Of His Day

Donald Trump took to Twitter during his 'Executive Time' to explain how he spends his 'Executive Time.'




Jeff Bezos Invents A New Euphemism For Penis

Jeff Bezos coined a new euphemism for male genitalia in his blog post, 'No Thank You, Mr. Pecker.' And it's not 'pecker.'




Go Fund Yourself: Sneezed-In Tissues For Sale

Stephen announces his foray into the booming market of selling disease-ridden goods after learning of a real company that sells used tissues sneezed into by sick people.




Stephen Interviews Gayle King's Interview Of Ralph Northam

Stephen Colbert demands answers in an exclusive fake interview with Governor Ralph Northam.

[Fritz Walter]

1. Oh, muderer!