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This might be a true story.
A man goes to a bar, gets impressively drunk, and throws up on his shirt.
He complains to the bartender that his wife is going to be so angry with him, so the bartender tells him to take a $10 bill from his wallet and put it in his shirt pocket, then when he gets home tell her a man threw up on him and gave him money to clean the shirt.
He gets home and tells this to her, she pulls the bill out and says to him "But this is a $20 bill." So he says, "Oh yeah, he shit in my pants too."