I got a "Dear John, Hope you Die!" letter from a woman I didn't know I was going with.

[Kaleva]

Have been living at a small house for over a month as my wife's and I divorce went thru. A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from one of my wife's single female former friends. We talked and we talked on the phone a couple of more times on other days. In our last conversation, I told her, to make sure things were clear, that I'm a one woman man and am still married until the following week and even after the divorce, my now ex-wife will still be involved in a relationship for at least awhile.

I didn't hear from her again until I got a letter in mail from her yesterday. It started out pleasant enough but as I read more, I saw she was getting very angry. She was underlining words and writing in the margins. At the end of the letter, she said she refuses to tolerate and associate with anyone who stands by and makes excuses for my (now ex-)wife and she will never speak to me again.

[LaurenG]

1. Why You!

How dare you be a class act!

[Kaleva]

2. She really tied to tear my (ex)wife down

I kept telling this woman that I didn't care and then she went on to say that she suspected my wife may have cheated on me a few years ago but she wasn't positive. After our second to last conversation, I thought I better make things crystal clear to her the next time she calls which I did. Didn't hear from her again until I got the letter.

[whistler162]

3. Frame the letter and bless the gods

that you -

The word psychotic leaps to mind.

[siligut]

6. I hated to say it, but yes

Something really off mentally here.

[lastlib]

4. I would say consider yourself fortunate that you didn't get in any deeper with her!

[Honeycombe8]

5. Wow. But...you're leaving something out.

Why did you feel the need to explain to the woman that you'll still be involved with your wife/ex-wife for awhile?

What crosses my mind is that...you and she were getting to some emotional level/point that you felt had gone too far, so you gave her the brushoff. You only give the brushoff to someone who has gotten too close.

This might be a man thing. I've had men in my life pull me in with one arm, while pushing me away with the other. Then they seemed so surprised that I'd gotten attached. How did that happen? he'd wonder. Simple. You indicated through your long soulful, tender, loving, conversations with me that you cared for me. Then when you reeled me in like a fish, you decided you didn't want fish, and now you're acting like I'M the weird one and have totally misinterpreted everything. No way.

That's not what happened, is it?

[Kaleva]

7. I haven't seen her in two years and she called me.

I didn't even recognize her voice and she had to identify herself. I thought it odd she called me because we didn't even talk that much when she was friends with my wife. Much of the conversations we did have involved her bad mouthing my wife. I kept telling her that I didn't care to hear that and there was nothing I could do to change the falling out she had with her. I wanted to make clear to this woman that I was going to remain loyal to my wife, even after the divorce.

[Dan]

30. just curious...but what does

...loyal to my wife...even after the divorce..... mean?


Sorry, I just read post #18 - no longer curious.

[Wait Wut]

8. You have just dodged a bullet.

I'd advise moving, changing your name, deleting your online existence and buy a dog.

Whenever they say "never speak to you again"...they'll usually call in about a week.

[nolabear]

9. Too true. I know people who "haven't been spoken to" for years.

One had to get a restraining order to get her to stop not speaking to him.

Run. And if you have a bunny, hide it.

[Pool Hall Ace]

25. Your advice sucks.

Adopt a dog, don't buy one!

[dogknob]

10. Dodged a bullet indeed! You win a prize! (video)

[BlancheSplanchnik]

24. OMG!! BEST VID Evarrr!!

I love Steve Martin! I love this vid---it's perfect!!!!!!!

[regnaD kciN]

11. This belongs on FML...

[ohiosmith]

12. I will not be ignored!

[Kaleva]

13. Yea

This woman needs help but it won't work until she realizes that most of her problems are self inflicted. She has this consuming anger and hatred towards former friends she thinks betrayed her. But these friends had very good reasons for breaking off from her. I won't go into the details here. I do wish she had never called me as I prefer a simple, drama free life.

[dogknob]

14. "I prefer a simple, drama free life."

That line should work more often than it does.

[Iggo]

15. Looks like you lucked out...

...as long as she really means it.

[treestar]

16. Sounds like she already had a big blow up with your wife

Think she hates your wife more than she hates you. Maybe she only wanted to get involved at all to spite your ex-wife. What went on between them that they are "former" friends? Sounds like good soap opera material.

[Kaleva]

18. It's a soap opera all right

To keep things simple, I'll identify the actors in this soap opera as follows:

Lady #1- woman who was calling me and who sent me the letter
Lady #2-a married former friend of Lady #1
Husband-Spouse of Lady #2
Wife-My now former wife
I-me

Lady's 1 & 2 were friends for many years but one night, Lady #1 had sex with Lady #2's husband. Lady #2 got very upset with this,only because it was done without her prior permission, called Lady #1 names and had sex with Lady #1's ex-boyfriend in retaliation. Lady #1 gets pissed off by that and again has sex with Lady #2's husband. This really pisses Lady #2 off. A few days later, I get a call from Husband who was gone at work saying Lady #2 had just called him and said she was going to kill herself. I go to Lady #2's house, just down the street, and indeed she had swallowed a bottle of pills. Wife and I rush Lady #2 to the hospital. Wife decides that enough is enough and breaks off relations with Lady #1 and that is why Lady #1 is mad at my wife. Sometime later, Lady #1, Lady #2 and Husband try to patch up their friendship by having a threesome. That doesn't work too well as Lady #2 gets jealous about much Husband enjoys receiving oral from Lady #1. Lady 1 & 2 still hang together for some months but Lady #2 has no trust with Lady #1 when Husband is around and friendship is finally destroyed in a big fight between the two.

[kwassa]

19. Lotta maturity and responsibility in this group of, em, adults.

I think you need to upgrade in the friend department.

Now, your ex-wife, did she sleep with any or all of these different characters?

[Kaleva]

20. I wasn't friends with any of them.

I knew them well as they were neighbors and the kids hung out and played together. We couldn't move away from the neighbors but my wife could and did cut ties with the woman who was recently calling me. Prior to that, the woman sometimes stopped by to have coffee with my wife but most of the time when she was over, it was because my wife had hired her to help with a big cleaning project. Other then that, they didn't hang out together.

[kwassa]

22. Interesting neighborhood.

I can't say that there are any three-ways going on in my neighborhood.

That I know of.

[treestar]

23. That was more interesting than "General Hospital" any day of the week!

What a bunch of characters!

[lunatica]

17. People like that are very weird

Good for you for being honest from the beginning. Who knows what her motives are, but she obviously had some.

[SwissTony]

21. Get out of that circus ASAP

And keep your ex informed of everything that has happened - show her the letter. It sounds like Lady 1 wouldn't have any problem lying to anyone who'd listen.

[Rex]

26. Wow.

What can I say?

[MiddleFingerMom]

27. Can I have her number?

[Capn Sunshine]

29. and it's MFM FTW!

[pipi_k]

28. Take THAT!!!

And let that be a lesson to you too!