I'll bet no one's ever come on here to whine before....
but I'm having a sad tonight 
I was with my hunny for 4 years. It was a difficult relationship, but we adored each other, too. He was so special and unique, to me, anyway.....
But there were a lot of problems. I even whined here a time or two (oh...I guess someone has come on here to whine before.....)
We broke up last summer....he moved away.
We both love each other, but the insurmountable problem was Drinking. Every night. Brought out a temper problem too.
Finally, I basically said, it's me or the beer.
The beer came first.
It's hard to get over someone---it's always been especially hard for me (many reasons).
Intellectually I know I'm better off, but ...... I'm 54......I have no family......I fear being alone forever.
= new reply since forum marked as read
that you are especially missing him tonight. i assume lonely.
you are a special person blanche. 
you too---takes one to know one
I think I'm pretty nice, but I keep making really big mistakes, in love, anyway--falling for really really messed up people.
funny, that's the one thing that's always really mattered to me, having a happy relationship.
Yeah, feeling pretty damn lonely tonight, wishing he was what he was supposed to be.
Thank you for the support!
Just know it's his addiction that drove you apart, and it's not your fault. You're just hitting your stride (same age as me ) there's someone out there for you. 
If these two could find each other, don't I deserve to find mine, too?
about DU. He.....has political views that ...... I detest, frankly.
I really like smart, interesting people.
It had gotten pretty bad. Not physical violence yet, but hair trigger verbal violence. The stress did a number on my health, even!
Lot of similarities to a long miserable childhood.
You're right, alcoholism really really sucks. Terrible to see what he's doing to himself---and in total denial about it.
You made the right decision, IMHO. I wish you well and hope you find happiness.
thanks femmocrat!
yeah, my Dad drank himself to death, in the end. My mother was very abusive and mentally ill...but when she finally died, he had retired from a high level corporate job and constant business trips, and had no one else to focus on.
He had always drunk, but I never realized anything. I was busy trying to survive my mother. But in the end, I even had to stop visiting, because I couldn't bear to see what he was doing to himself, and he got very belligerent if I tried to tell him there was an alcohol problem.
I am SO sorry your mom is stuck there.
(would she consider Al-Anon? It's a good supportive fellowship)
It could happen....maybe love and encouragement could eventually help her to stand up.
But it not...it's her decision.
Al Anon's a good program, fwiw, if you ever think about support for yourself.
you guys are great!
Lots of good folks in your position. Here's hoping you and a great one find one another!
It's not easy, true.
good to get understanding and encouragement here from so many good people It helps
slow process. dammit!!
This must be a painful time for you...
broken hearts take a long time to heal. The reality was not matching up to fantasy very well, so good on me for seeing that, but getting the fantasy and wishes out of your heart takes too damn long.
To me, you're better off without him.
Good luck. Hoping you'll find that special one soon.
Intellectually, I know that I was miserable with him most of the time. But that needy cinderella inside who thought her Prince had come.....she's like a rabid crazed badger who just won't let go.
Thanks...I really appreciate all the wise words! When you're feeling bereft, it can be hard to find the wise perspective.
You made the right choice though regarding your beer v. me demand.
ya'd think it would feel better.......
thanks.......