Reinventing yourself.

[IluvPitties]

I am wondering if some of you had the necessity at some point, either as a middle aged adult or already in your senior years to start again from scratch... Perhaps because of illness, divorce, death of a loved one, job loss, spiritual, mental or emotional issues, etc. How did you do it? Did you find the power to reclaim your life? To rebuild it? To make age and past experiences count little and restart with a fresh, youthful and positive outlook?

Maybe your story and uplift and inspire someone who might not currently be seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Hope and encouragement are important in times in which the state of our Nation combined with life issues can be a lot to handle. So, if you have a story to share, at least I would love to read it!

[Doreen]

1. I did have a reinventing but it was not for the good.

It is no longer bad but it will never get better. I wish I had a good one that is uplifting. I can at least say that I am alive when I should really be dead and I guess that is positive.

[IluvPitties]

2. Thanks for sharing, and I am glad we have you here with us.

[choie]

3. Hi IluvPitties...

You're not alone. I'm pretty much in the situation that you describe. My husband passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 46 in August 2016 and I know that I will have to do just that...reinvent myself. He was my soul mate and although I work everyday, my grief is deep and sometimes difficult to bear. I'd love to hear an inspiring story from a DUer as well...

[IluvPitties]

4. A hug for you, and I wish you peace, love and happiness.

You deserve it!

[choie]

5. Thank you, Iluv

to you, too.

[GeorgeHayduke]

6. When I was 38 I quit life.

I had taught college science for a decade and a half and, it being a state university, in 2008, was subject to the legislature's biennial funding (snd resultant underfunding)

I got sick of being abused with respect to my skills. So, I retired. At 38. I sold or gave-away everything I owned.

Eventually, I was free of liabilities. I traveled. I smiled, learned, grew, expanded.

Now, Im happily an engineer for a defence agency, but the real point is that I took control of my life during a time when life seemed out-of-control.

Now, I choose where I go and what I do.

It gets better, but it's got to get really bad first.

[yardwork]

7. I have started over again several times so far.

When I was 40 I admitted that I was an alcoholic and stopped drinking. When I was 45 I realized that I'm gay, and I left my two-decade marriage. I began a new career to support myself and worked my way up from entry-level to a senior position. At the age of 53 I left the woman I had left my husband to be with, sold my condo, and started over again. At the age of 55 I got married again, this time to a wonderful woman. We bought a house together, we're planting a garden, and we're stepparents to one another's kids.

Life is full of surprises. Just keep getting up in the morning, do what is needed, and love yourself. Let others love you too. And love them back.

[GeorgeHayduke]

10. This is cool.

Every morning simply put both feet on the ground.

Namaste.

[Generic Brad]

8. I'm doing it right now

After nearly two decades with the same employer, I accepted a transfer and a promotion a year and a half ago. It did not go well. The person who hired me left immediately after I moved and their replacements flat out told me they had other people in mind for my job and advised me to consider leaving. I did my best to hang in there but after a year and a half of enduring daily public humiliation and nearly impossible job challenges they realized I was determined to succeed no matter what they threw at me. I gave them no cause to fire me, so they just eliminated my job.

That experience made me doubt everything about my professional existence and contributions to my field. I went from being an industry expert in a highly specialized field to being unwanted and discounted in the short span of a few months.

I confess it took a lot of effort to get past that and remember I was the real deal and not a poser. Regaining my confidence was the hardest thing I have done in a long time. So I have not reinvented myself so much as decided to just be myself.

Long story short - I had to sell my house, pack up and move cross country in the span of three weeks once I accepted an offer of employment. It has been nearly a month since I landed in TN. This experience has bonded my wife and I even closer. I am excited to learn so many new things in and out of work. And I am already contributing at my new job.

Life in TN will never be like what I had in other states. Different place, different atmosphere. This is the 5th state I have lived in and no two have been alike so far. Rather than try to recreate what I have lost, I am choosing to build on what I have and with what is available. It is hard to reinvent yourself if you are mourning what you have lost. Let that go and enjoy the wonder of where you find yourself and what there is around you. Again - it is less about reinventing and more about being who you really are. Do that and you should be OK.

[lastlib]

9. "From the ashes of the pyre, let the phoenix rise again..."

Yeah, years ago, I had to do some re-inventing. Can't say that I did it all that successfully, and, TBH, I foresee it happening again. But in the midst of that first go, I wrote a poem to myself about what I was going through. I can't remember all of it, and it may not be entirely relevant. But the last part of it was inspirational to me, and maybe some other DUers can find some inspiration in it:

"From the ashes of the pyre, let the phoenix rise again,
Reborn amid the fire, a golden crown to win."

FWIW.